Tammy G.

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 Finally got the results of my echocardiogram.  I have diastolic dysfunction in my left ventricle and mild tricuspid regurgitation in my right ventricle, resulting in pulmonary hypertension, probably due to a combination of obesity, sleep apnea and rheumatoid arthritis.  I do not know yet if this will disqualify me from the surgery.  Actually, from my research it looks like if I could have the surgery and survive it and take off weight, it would help.  Wish me luck.

 Well, I finally touched base with my PA at the surgeon's office.  Turns out my echocardiogram came back abnormal.  At this point I don't know what this means.  I have to make an appointment with a cardiologist to see what the problem might be and if I can be cleared from surgery.  

I am frustrated, scared, and still hopeful.

 Since I was approved for surgery, my mind has surged with questions and worry.  What ifs keep making their appearance in my thought processes.

What if I don't lose weight?
What if my husband can't deal with the changes?
What if I can't deal with my emotional attachments to food?
What if I have complications?
What if I don't make it through the surgery?
What if I can't take all my regular meds after the surgery?
What if I can't cope?
What if I have tons of hanging skin and can't get it removed?

My patient advocate advised me to read forums to get an insight to other's experiences, struggles and triumphs, and I have.  I've read several books, both positive and negative on the surgery.

What I've told myself.  We are never promised another day on this earth.  Do what I need to do for myself, live for today.

 After the 6-7 months of primary care phys supervised dieting, negative thoughts "I'll never get approved," it happened!  I was approved!  I'm scared and excited at the same time.  I still have to set up and complete the rest of the pre-op testing, but I am on my way.  I am ready for this life changer.

I can't say enough good things about the program at Southwest Bariatric in Austin and Dr. Faulkenberry's staff.  My assigned patient advocate, Cassi, has been there every step of the way.  Jerry, the nutritionist, has encouraged me when I was experiencing a plateau, probably the difference between trodding on or giving up.  

The pre ops I must complete are an EKG, and echocardiogram and some simple blood work.  Then I have to travel to Austin for a physiology exercise consult, nutritionist consult and final pre-op consult with Dr. Faulkenberry.  If all goes well then I will get a surgery date.  

 After a long and uncomfortable trip to Austin, I finally met Dr. Faulkenberry.  I now know I made the right choice in picking him and his staff.  We stayed 2 nights in Austin.  The first one was uneventful.  The next day we went to the doc's office.  I had 4 pages of questions to ask and he didn't flinch at any of them.  I plan on posting a blog entry with the questions and the short answers eventually.

Coming home was not fun.  My rheumatoid flared and by the time we got back to Odessa I could not walk at all.  Even 2 steps was out of the question.  It took days to even slightly recover, but I pushed as hard as I could.  I dread traveling for the next appointment, but I will do what I have to do.

I love having a patient advocate from Faulkenberry's office.  She leaves no doubt at what the next step will be.  I like that.

Now I am working on losing some weight before having surgery.  I have to do a 6 month dr. supervised diet before we can even submit the request to the insurance company.  I am going to get some whey protein and start working on acquiring a taste for it so it won't be such a shock when and if it is required.   I've tried soy protein and it does NOT agree with me.

I have also completed the required psychological exam and meet with my counselor on May 27.  I had forgotten how long the MMPI-2 was!  And pencil and paper, no less.  

I am lucky to have a supportive family.  

 After sending in a new patient packet to Southwest Bariatric Surgeons in Austin a few weeks ago, I heard back from a Patient Advocate today.  Cassie was so nice and helpful and I really felt like she was on my side.  She expressed concern about the distance from my home to Austin and I explained that there was no Bariatric Center of Excellence in my immediate area, which is a requirement for my insurance.  I must be approved by the surgeon as a long distance patient.  Crossing my fingers!   We discussed other insurance requirements, as well.

The travel is always a concern, of course.  No one thinks they will have any complications, but I am well aware of the things that can and do happen after surgery.  I must have an emergency plan in place in case I have any complications.  This is not something I can just hope falls into place if I need it.

I am extremely hopeful and confident that I can do this!  I meet with my primary care provider tomorrow for a routine visit and to discuss some of this WLS stuff.  He's really confident that the surgery will change my life and help with my severe arthritis.  

With some reservations, I am worried about emotional problems after the surgery.  I've used food as a tool to cope for so long--will my extensive therapy and learning new tools for coping really work after the surgery?  

I'm afraid that if I can't get bariatric surgery soon, I'll die.  I've got 3 health professionals telling me that I must have the surgery.  My rheumatologist/primary care physcian, psychiatrist, and counselor.  I've been disabled and on SSI/Managed Care Medicaid for the last 6 years.  I have no life.  With the arthritis, sleep apnea and repiratory problem and this excessive weight, I feel trapped in my own body.

My doctor and counselor all say I need to learn how to ADVOCATE for myself to get the surgery.  I don't know how to do this.  I don't even know where to start.  I feel so helpless.  How do I find a doctor who will help me get approved?  When I find a doctor, how will I travel?  I don't have any money.  

I am so depressed.  I don't want to live another year in this body.