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  You know, one of things that so many people have said to me while I have been supersized, has been this....

"You would be so pretty if....."

So, I bet you can finish that sentance. I am sure if you are a larger person someone may have at some point said this to you. (?)

Well, ok, so for those of you that do not know what the end to that sentance is, it is "You would be so pretty if you would just lose some weight." or "You would be drop dead gorgeous if you were smaller or lost weight."

My response is, gee thanks, did not realize that I was "ugly", thanks for letting me know this. Of course the response is usually... "well no, I did not mean it like that".
People do not think alot of times before they OPEN THEIR MOUTHS!!

For me beauty comes from within first, and then should radiate outwardly. I know secondly that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you do not feel beautiful then, you make the changes you can to feel beautiful. For me it has not been a weight issue in my feeling beautiful. I have always taken care of me, and done things to stay well groomed. As long as one loves themselves.... that is most important!  

Let Me Simplify this:
 
WE ALL HAVE A BEAUTY ABOUT US!!

(Yes, even men do.... oh wait some men call it HANDSOME!!)

I am sure there are more things that have come from peoples mouths with out second thought of how they are saying it...... do you have one to share?? .... please do..!!

Ok, so thought that I would talk about the foods that I eat often. Well for some reason they are the easiest and yummy and healthy for me. Oatmeal(always add protien powder to it), yogart (yoplait has so many varieties/flavors I use them for anytime even if I want a "dessert")(Greek yogurts are the best for me), fruits, vegtables (cooked or usually just add boiling water to them enought to make them softly crisp), pho noodles, chicken, lean steak, ground turkey breasts, not very often eggs, some cheese, home made beef jerky, home made fruit leather, sunflower seeds, home made soups ( generally meat, veg, beans, barley), nuts, protien shakes (variety of ways to make them, usually always use hot (really hot just not boiling hot) water with protien powders and then add it to the drink), I never eat cakes and any desserts with sugars, never soda pop, I drink teas (hot and cold, most of the time unsweetened, if sweetened I use Truvia or Stevia),  and of course lots of water.
There is alot of times that I can only eat a bit or two, and if that is the case I will wait 20 minutes or so and try again. It is happening less and less though and I am tollerating more variety of food. Still stay away from sugars!
I am usually maybe over cautious, because I do not want any dumping.

The internet is such a great resource for nutritional facts, pre and post surgery, testimonials to weight losses (surgery or non surgery), excersizes/ing, supports, and just about everything a person could want to know (ok, and some things we really don't care about or to know)..... but what I am saying is, there is information and the resources are right at your fingertips!!

Google and me are buddies!!

Shed some light and share with me something new!  I love to learn and open to others also!  Do you want to message me... have a question? 

I know my last post I listed a few things I got ahead of time to prepare for the changes in diet.
I realized that I did not list things regarding the vitamins and that aspect. So, everyone will be a bit different on doses and kinds of vitamins and your doctor, nurse, or your dietician will go over your individual needs. Some of the basic ones are the vitamins D3, B12, and Multi-Vitamin. I personally take a Multi-Vitamin with iron, B12, D3, Calcium/Magnesium, C, Cinnamon, and Biotin. For me, I started taking these vitamins prior to surgery. I was given a high dose prescription of either B12 or D3 prior to surgery (I do not remember wich one it was). But again your doctor will let you know and see to it that you get the prescriptions that you will need. Prior to surgery I had to go on a 1000 cal diet right before the surgery, this helps to shrink what is needed.... (I believe the liver but I am not remembering exactly right at this moment... but your doctor or dietician will be talking about that with you).

Each individual may have other needs but this is how it is for me!

So here is a list of some of the things that I have used since having surgery that have helped me. Alot of people use different things and find many things that help them personally, so it is to each persons preference. So, in my process of worked for me, I purchased a Magic Bullet. This pureed foods for me when I started to be able to eat. But in the beginning I first used it in my liquid diet. I would blend broths and protien powders, my protien drinks and so forth. I found it tasted better than to just have a shaker. On my shakes I would use a bit of boiling or hot water with the protien powders in the Bullet to get a good desolved consistancy and the add ice and whatever else that I was going to add to the drink. This worked well with the pureed diet needs also. I actually got the Magic Bullet before my surgery and started to try it out prior to surgery. I wanted to see what it would be like to eat pureed meat and foods. I had started trying different things out to see how I would deal with and adapt to my new diet taste wise. I actually found that I liked it for the most part. Texture was definately different and I am very glad I did this before surgery. It saved any shock factor after surgery (there is enough changes after surgery to deal with). Like I have said in prior posts here, I lost 110 lbs prior to surgery and the change in eatings helped.

MY Equation for My Success ....

Less food/calorie/fat + More Excersize/Movement = Weightloss and Maintaining

So the Bullet helped with the textures and mixing of foods. There are several different types machines that can acheive the results you will need, it is just to your preference and budget.
Some other things, let me see. I did get a couple of baby spoons for after surgery because I was afraid of eating to big of bites. However I soon found that these were not needed, and I had used these spoons that were more like a toddler spoon, little less that teaspoon size. They worked perfect. I also found for me it was helpful to have little 1oz, 2oz, and 3 oz containers. These were useful to not over do it and be very aware of what I was doing. For me, I felt like I was getting a full portion, not a huge empty bowl or plate. I also did use some tippy toddler cups at first. I wanted to make sure that I did not drink to much to fast. For me prior to surgery I was like the ultimate fluid tanker. So the after surgery was hard in the area of fluids. This is why I felt the need to use the tippy. I felt silly but it worked. I did however graduate to not using the tippy. It did not matter to me at first anyhow, cause I was at home and who cared there since it was helping me. The small containers also helped, cause when I made the yummy soups, I was able to freeze and have my meals ready and planned out and it was so easy! I made varieties and they were in the freezer ready to go. I actually had done alot prior to surgery to prepare. It is so true when you make your own soups and cooking, you know exactly what you are puting into your body and can eat with confidence that it is indeed healthy. There is no guess work.
So let me see, I also have a very small pan. I believe it is called an egg pan. It literally is the size of cooking one fried egg. It is the neetest little pan and you cannot overcook in it, unless you cook more than one time using it. It works great if you are cooking for just yourself. I know, it is for some, impossible to just cook for yourself. I do cook for Bernard and I, so I usually have to cook larger. I have developed a love for cooking. I am getting better and better with time. No, not a chef, but love to cook in healthier ways and see what flavors come from it. I know for me being able to use small containers to save food is important to me. I personally find it easier for me to not over do it when I know that there is a container for me to have some another time, especially if it is something that I really like.
Let me see, plastic zip lock baggies are my friends to. I seem to use them alot more than I used to. Oh, I am always cutting my meats into usable small portions, serving size for me with regards to protien and amounts. This way if I am cooking for one or two I have it already and I pull just that out from the freezer. I usually put these into zip lock sandwich bags and all of the bags into a freezer quart or gallon size bag and into the freezer. Sometimes, since we do alot of veg, meat, and pho, I will pre-cook the meat. This works for me and are simply just my statements of what works for me to be successful. 
I also almost always have some sort of water bottle. I do not drink soda pop. I stoppoed that 08-23-10. Prior to surgery I started only drinking water or brewed tea (iced or cold). I stopped using artificial sweetners. However now, I do use some artificial sweetner, usually only the Stevia for the most part. 50% of the time I will drink my teas unsweetened. I love water so, alot of times it is just the good old-fashioned water! I have no desire to drink soda now, and I am thankful for that!
I do have small plates that I find helpful especially helpful at holiday times, if I am at home I can use my 1 cup containers and aim for the exact amount!!
Soups are my area that I really have to watch it. For some reason they are so easy to eat and I am less aware of my feelings to my body. Of course, meat and heavy foods give me that no more food feeling very quickly. Just being aware is the key and then listening and following your awareness!!!!!

I am interested in knowing what other people use, or have used, or experiences and so forth. If you have a special way in a diet that helps you be more aware or focussed. Please do tell!!

So I was thinking, some more things that I got to prepare for my pills after surgery. Unitl you can take full pills after surgery, you will either want to take liquid vitamins, and you can them at Super Suppliments or other vitamin stores. I also had a pill crusher and pill slicer in wich I used quite a bit. Several prescriptions were done as liquid form. I had lots of medicine cups to.

Now, do to the fact that I had an Open Gastric, I had a large incision to heal. I had problems with the healing and for a bit had to have a wound pump. Then it was removed and I had to pack it. So I had to have other things such as gauzes and long q-tips, medical tape, bandages, and things that the doctors had me using (basicallywhat I have listed, oh and I had rubber gloves,, if you need things your doctor will let you know).
I had to heal from the inside out and it did take quite some time. Could not swim during that time, and with the internal bleed I was not able to excersize and so forth for probably the first 3 or 4 months after surgery. I was limited (although I always tried to find ways to get around the limits to my excersize....just had to find ways to do them safely)!

((((I hesitated on wether to share any of the challenging and scary parts of my surgery process. But it is my story and it did happen. I want you to remember that we are all built different and we all have out own health issues that can contribute to possible complications. Just because I had issues does not mean that you will. I am going to say again, I do NOT regrett having had this surgery. It has opened so many doors again for me in life!!))))

((((((ANOTHER NOTE: IT BY FAR IS NOT THE "EASY" WAY! Losing the weight is easier with this tool, but it is still alot of hard work. You still have to eat a balanced diet. You still have to excersize. You have to be even more dedicated to this being a life long committment to get your propper vitamins and nutrition needs than if you were to just "simply" diet and excersize!!!)))))))

Not sure if I have talked about the experience with the internal bleed. Let me check and if not then I will talk just a bit about this. It is something that I did experience and there are risks, they are known before having the surgery and so I will share. At some point before you have surgery, you should or will go over the not so great complications that may or could happen and the chances percentages of them happening. Although note, I do have a past history of DVT and PE (blood clots, and threw one to my lungs), and have been on blood thinner for the past decade, so bleeding and so forth is a bit more of risk for me. I will call it just a bit more challenging. I did go through tests and had to do some things different before surgery to prepare my blood for the day of surgery and then after surgery. For me it was giving myself shots before and after surgery. Since I was not able to take my regular blood thinner. Then with the internal bleed it was a bit longer that I had to have the shots.

My surgery itself went very well. I know that my doctor and nurses and team that worked with me to prepare me for this Gastric Bypass warned me that it would be one of the hardest surgeries that I would go through. Because of all the organs that had to be moved around an so forth. They said the recover would be hard and painful. I said and thought... well I had a C-Section and so this would be simular probably. They said no, it will be harder than that. So they were trying to keep my reality there. I was mentally trying to prepare myself for this. I will be honest here. It was the hardest surgery that I have ever had. I have had the following surgeries
C-Section, Gallbladder, Hernia, and Tonsils and Adenoids, boy oh boy let me tell you they did not even compare to the Gastric Bypass. For me, being the Supersize Fat woman (544lbs or so) I was at the time of surgery, it made it more challenging to do the surgery and to recover from the surgery. My lungs were not in the greatest shape, and I was still dealing with my sleep apnea, blood pressure, diabetes, and so forth. I will tell you, being prepped for surgery, my doctor came by to ease my worries and to see how I was doing. He was there in the O.R. when they moved me onto the operating table.... and soon enough I was put under. I remember my mom and Bernard were there. I know that before I knew it (because time stands still when you are under) I was in the recover room. (ok, so really I do not remember the recovery room either). I am sure that I said and did weird things coming out from under. But then I was put in ICU. I do not remember how many days I was in there. But I do remember the pain. Everytime they would move and shift my body. I could not do it myself, and they had these special harness lifts that the team would use to shift and move me. During a part of the time, I was having issues with low blood pressure and breathing and I was not able to have the pain meds to lesson my pain. I remember the doctors and nurses apologizing for the pain. It was very strange to me at the time, how the time seemed to stand still and yet then fly by. I guess at some points I was even dillusional. I do not remember how long I was in the ICU but for longer than I was thinking I was going to be. I did end up in my own room eventually. The thing that I was prepared for was the change in diet. I felt very comfortable with this. Before the surgery the dietician was very clear and gave visuals and discussions on how it would be like and what to expect. The pain eventually for me was able to be under control. Before I could leave the hospital I had to be able to get out of bed and walk and be able to use the toilet. PAIN had a whole new meaning to me. When I was out of ICU, I was still having to be moved with the lifts. I was getting the hand of how to do this with less pain. Where to hold and how to move. Eventually I was able to get out of bed and to a commode. Sliding and moving very slow and with gentle ease. (of course crying, coughing, sneezing, laughing all hurt) It was great to have company visit after I was in my own room. Not for the first few days though. But Bernard and my Mom were there and I knew I was in good hands. I was of course anxious to know what my weight was doing. Although I did not prepare myself to gain while in the hospital, but with all of the fluid and so forth, I am told this was normal. So I think I was in the hopital about 9 days. Surgery was 12-15-10 and home on 12-24-10. I had a very quiet easy going Christmas and then 12-27-10 I went through the day, but that night I started getting really sick. Like something was wrong. Nausea terriably bad, but could not throw up. It went on through out most of the night. I had called the after hours number I was given and talked with a on-call doctor. It was decided to just make it through the night, that this can be normal. There were not really any other symptoms going on. Bernard left for work the next day (although he did not really want to, but I said I thought I would be ok). However, I do not remember the exact time in that morning, but I had went to the bathroom and had this HORRIABLE smell when I had a bowl movement. I wiped and realized there was a really bad issue... I was pretty sure. I called the doctors office and they said to get into the hospital as SOON as POSSIBLE. I was scared, and thankfully our neighbors upstairs had a key to the place and so one of them came down and was like... uh, you are bleeding internally. I had called Bernard and he came home right away....faster than fast.... although I think he was more shaken than I was. So we went to the ER. At first I think that the staff out front did not understand what was going on.... I had to use the toilet again and so they let me use the one right inside the ER (closest toilet there)... Bernard saw what was coming out of me and he went out and told a nurse... she came in and then she went out and Dr. came in. Pretty soon I was put on a bed and rolled into a room. Now, I really from this point just remember alot of people....(nurses, doctors, specialists..ect) I am not exagerating when I say alot of people in this room. They were sticking me and poking me and prepping me and pretty soon I was out and under again. I just remember waking up in recovery or somewhere else. I was going to ICU and my Mom and Bernard were there. I had had an internal bleed. My mom had power of attourney as all of that stuff was done before my having the Gastric Bypass. So, I found out that I had to have blood transfusion due to my loss of blood. The good news is that the bleeding was stopped and that I was going to be ok. However, I was back in the hospital, and I believe I was there until about 01-05-11. I was pretty tired of being in the hospitals and just wanted my own bed. Although I was very grateful to the great teams or doctors and nurses that cared for me at the UW Medical Center! I was in good hands! This time instead of discharging to home, it was decided that I should go to a rehab facility before going home (in rehab from about 01-05-11 to 01-26-11). I would have the needed help there and the rehab. Alot of the issues I were having with being on my own at home was more of the complications due to my size with the surgery (I was very morbidly obese). When I left the rehab facility my wound was still an issue, having to leave with the wound vac. It was a short time and they took the wound vac on and had me start packing it several times a day. It was hard at first and I did not think I would be able to "stomach" doing it.... it was pretty gross. But you learn to do what you think you cannot... when you have to do it!  I am a Strong Lady!  So after the rehab, I went  home and since that time my incision has become a scar. I have had great blood works, and things regarding my surgery and Gastric Bypass has been going great! I continue to attend the support groups as much as I can. I want and plan to continue to do the groups. I believe having that awareness in my life is just one more tool I can carry in my life. I so am going to make this work for me, with dedication to life long work from me!! 

                       ((GOD has GREAT plans for me!!))

I am including a link to the University of Washington (UW) Medical Center Bariatrics:
The link here is a video done by Dr. Wright explaining the GASTRIC BYPASS and the LAP BAND procedures and the benefits and possible complication risks.
http://www.uwtv.org/video/player.aspx?dwrid=31765

I did have my surgery at the University of Washington Bariatric Surgery Center, Dr. Dillinger did my surgery. I thank him for the great work he did!
(My surgeon said to me , "I just did the surgery you have done all the work".  I still thank him, because the whole he and his team made me feel human and not like some sick person with my obeise body, it was a very positive experience!) . He and all of the Dr.'s at the University of Washington Medical Center were great. The nurses, social workers, dieticians, and all staff there have been so very helpful.  I have been attending the support group at the UW for Weightloss (pre and post surgery) and believe this is important to keep some focuss on my goals. The more I draw awareness to myself and constant reminders, I hope the longer rate of success I will have.  I want this to be life long!! 

The following is the website all about the UW Bariatric Surgery Center.
http://uwmedicine.washington.edu/Patient-Care/Our-Services/Medical-Services/Bariatric-Surgery/Pages/Clinics.aspx

Although I had my surgery on 12-15-2010 and do not yet have a sensation of full or hungry. I do how ever have a sense about me that says it is enough or that I need to eat. Most of it being times and wether or not I have eaten, or the amount of food in measurement. I have been told that the sensation not being there is a normal thing and that in time my stomach will "wake up" to give me those feelings. It is funny, I never really felt gurlge sounds or feelings in my stomach after surgery until about I think a month ago. One day, I was sitting next to Bernard and it was like this really lound noise we could hear, it did not sound like anything I have ever heard coming from me. I was laughing. It felt very strange. It has happened a few times. I am not sure that my stomach has "woken up" yet, since I still do not have hunger or fullness feelings.

I know that I will have to stay focussed on my eating and fitness health, to have long term success. I do hope that anything I post will help someone out there, if in any way such as even support to those around you who are obeise and struggle with weight, to just having that understanding of things they maybe deal with daily. Maybe to those who are considering options. Or just maybe to those who have been through a procedure or who are taking and making a journey of weightloss without surgery.

We are all in simular boats  WHEN IT COMES TO CHANGE.... EVERYTHING WE DO IS GOING TO TAKE WORK, DEDICATION, PATIENCE, ENDERANCE, NEW HABITS, AND PERSERVERANCE.

FIND NEW WAYS TO ACCOMPLISH THINGS WITH ENJOYMENT!! 
IT WILL BE WHAT YOU MAKE IT!! 
MAKE IT FUN!  SEARCH OUT NEW WAYS AND THINGS TO DO!!

FOCUSS!!

I feel I need to focuss on MY Tool!   I have to have constant awareness, the right attitude, good healthy food, and plenty of excersize!!  This is what makes a Happy Sherrie! This is for me and I will push forward.  I am doing  this for me!!

I say this and do not want people to think that I am being selfish!

Those of you who are successful with weightloss know this already! I have had to make drastic changes  for my life long success that I want with regards to my losing weight and keeping it off!!  

Lord please guide me, keep me, and teach me in my journey!

I am always so blessed and thankful that there are  tomorrows, and new days give new starts!   It is just so refreshing to have a new days especially if you have had a tough day.

Let me tell you about the toilet I broke off the wall!
 I will leave the location out of the subject in this. But, yes it is possible for those toilets that look like they are bolted so securely to the wall, to actually break and pop off of the wall.
I was so humilitated! Although my nature of it was to laugh it off, it actually scared the poop out of me ((NO, NOT LITERALLY))! Having sat down there, of course my skirt was up at my boobs and then there I was down.. on the floor.. toilet down.. water everywhere.. it was TERRIABLE! I got up, pulled my skirt down, put myself back on my power chair and left there faster than a mouse going after her cheese!  I could not even feel pain in that humiliation. It made me realize that I had one more thing to worry about that day. Now, another thing about toilets... the seats. I have had a problem for quite a few years, at least a decade. With my weight breaking the toilet seats off the toilet. Thankfully they were pretty cheap to replace.  I have lost any kind of count on the number of toilet seats I have had to replace because of this reason!  Oh, and the toilet seat raisers... what a joke... not to long and my fat azz seemed to always squish the raise right out of them.... ? strange as that it is... I was to large for the ones that I could get.

Now, I know I do not have to worry about that happening now since I have lost 330 lbs, although I will tell you that I still look at toilets and wonder if it could still happen. Most of the time I am ok. Now, toilet seats do not seem to be an issue either. No breaking them so far.
 
I do have to laugh though. I went to a BBWNW dance back in October of this year (Halloween Boo Dance). Anyhow, when I was in the bathrooms, both toilet seats were broken off.  I was having flash backs when I was in that bathroom.  I was able to gently sit the seat on the rim and use the toilet with out tremendous struggle though.  There were alot of fat and super fat chicks, and I guess the toilet seats could not handle the weight.  I thought it was funny and just laughed.  What else could I do at that moment?   A reality though, it is what it is and in that case it was what it was!! 

Something sort of funny... when I would see the word laptop I would just laugh. I never had a lap and so I would always call it my laptop my "bellytop". I know kind of corny.   
Oh, I know another tid bit..... I just am so amazed when I walk now. For me, prior to having surgery, I used to be able to move about a foot and would be winded and have to bend over and try to breathe. For me getting dressed was a full work out and I got to where I would need help with my socks and shoes.   My getting dressed consisted of putting on my slinky material skirt and slinky material shirt at my biggest of 654 lbs.  Bra and undies were not always in that picture.  But it was still like a full blown workout just to do that much.   So now, as I walkto and from buses and place I need to go, and I would get where I needed to go. I would stand there almost in "shock"... stop and listen... to myself breathe... focus on how I felt... and notice that I looked like other people. I stood with all the rest of the people around me. I sat on the bus in the back, the middle, and the front. No limits!! I am amazed and it feels so strange.  Silly things, but all so exciting!!  There are so many things that are so small to people but so strange that I can do.  I sometimes laugh at myself.  Sometimes I pinch myself and ask if this is really me. (Ok, so I know it is me, but for real... it is just strange for me). Inside and out, I feel like I am doing a life long happy dance. Things seem endlessly possible. I can and am doing life!!  No limits!!