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I so want to rid myself from the power chair completly and then from the walker and cane so badly!! NOw!!!!
Until I have the knee surgery and the surgery to take away my belly apron, I am not sure that I will be able to rid the cane and the walker.

Note to myself: Sherrie:  Patience and in time these things will happen!  You are a work in progress, so hold your head up high!

I think my new favorite food is garlic. Weird I know.  My protein intake is great and my vitamins are never a problem for me, so thankful that I do not get sick taking them. Some of the people that I know who have had weight loss surgery report having issues with them, so again I am thankful.

So if anyone is reading this and has any questions, feel free to ask or post. Maybe nobody is reading this? But it is ok, one day I will re-read this and I may have a comment, or may need to spend time reflecting and I decided what better way to see my growth.

Yes, this is my positive growth in my shrinking world of me!

I was thinking about my freedom of not as many worries when I decide to go somewhere. The number of things that I would have to think about before attempting to go anywhere. Things like, will I fit into the car I am getting a ride from, will I be able to sit on the furniture that will be at the place I am going to (not only the width of the furniture, but also will it hold my weight and not break or buckle with the huge weight on it), will my power chair be able to get through the door, will my powerchair fit into the isles or places with things around, will there be big enough bathrooms for me to use (and will the toilets be strong enough) (I beleive I shared my story of the broken toilet that humiliated me, even though no one else was around and I never told), things like these.... the other things are more of the how do I get the help from Bernard when we are in public bathrooms if there is not a "family bathroom" to use. If someone invited us to go somewhere it just was not a simple matter.

Even before I depended on my power chair at my heaviest weight, I was limited with going places. I can remember getting my power chair and the first time that I went to the SouthCenter mall. I do not quite know for sure how many years it had been since I had went to a big mall, simply because I could not walk that far and still be able to stand and shop too. I used to go to the Wallmarts, Targets, and stores that had the electric carts. That ended when the electric carts got to be to small for me to use. yes, I had outgrown them with my SuperSized body. I would literally have bruises on my belly from the steering wheels bars on the electric carts pushing into my belly, I WAS JUST TO BIG FOR THE DARN CARTS. I always tried to adapt, and by this I would sit sideways and drive them sitting side ways. I finally just gave up on them when they started to just not work when my fat butt would sit to try to use them.

Now, I will tell you this. I am not sure of the exact date, but I was with my mom over in Eastern WA. Visiting my brother. At the time I was still dependant on having my power chair to go into the stores. It was after having Gastric Bypass and having lost quite abit of weight (do remember how much right at this moment). Anyhow, my mom and I were going to Wallmart over there to get my neice a birthday present (I should remember the month/date, but I cannot remember at this moment). I had decided that mom could just run in since I was able to walk little bits, but not enough for a big store. Mom said, I will go in and get an electric cart and then you can go in to. I paniced a bit and told mom, I do not fit in the carts and I did not want to try... (I did not want to be embarrassed). I did not want to be a bother. Well, mom went in and here she came back out with one of those "electric carts" and YIKES was I scared. She pulled it up, and I got out of the vehicle. (oh yeah, and I got out of mom's front seat, as I could indeed finally fit into the front seat of her vehicle, finally or again). So I edged myself on to the cart and...... to my AMAZEMENT I did indeed fit back into the electric cart. I WAS SO SHOCKED!! Not only did I fit, but I felt like another person could sit in there with me. (ok, so maybe not another person, but it was the odest feeling, just being on that cart and not having my belly rubbing or touching any part of the handles). I am still in AWWE when I get on one and it so freely moves about the store with me sitting on it.

I am using the electric carts less than 15% of the time that I drive to the stores. It depends on how much I have pushed through out the day and time of the day. I still face my knee issues that require surgery. I have gained more strength and every day I continue to work on me and my mobility. Excersizing almost daily (average of 5-6 times per week).

That was yesterday and today is my anniversary of 3 years with Bernard!  We are now engaged and will be married on July 4, 2012!!  He has been with me through everything.  He wants me to not be in pain and to be happy!! 

Ok, so this is just a bit of my "Bucket list of things I want to to after Gastric Bypass". I will list the things that I was NOT ABLE to do at the weight of 654 bls that I CAN DO NOW!! (yes, I say that with CAPITAL EXCITEMENT). I share this to let you know what my reality was. (this does not mean neccessarily that I was never able to do some of these things in life, just that my weight began to hinder my being able to):
Ride an escalator, walk in the mall, take a full stand up shower, take a bubble bath in a regular size tub, swim in a pool, drive again, shop and buy something that would fit in a plus size clothing store, walk with a walker, walk with just a cane, sit in a regular movie seat with arms, fit in seat belts, fit in a restaurant booth, buy swimsuit from a store, carry stuff in my hands while I walk, fit in regular chairs without breaking them and also be comfortable, grocery shop while standing and pushing a cart, drive a rental car, see a musical or play, see fireworks and do the space needle on new years eve, dance a whole song and be ok to dance more, ride the metro bus without my power chair, get out of any pool, get out of any pool using the built in wall latter, use a regular bathroom stall (could not fit before), use any toilet (not to have to worry about breaking it off the wall), wear a bra again, wear underwear again, go to the beach, ride the train with out power chair, be able to lay on any bed without worry of breaking them, have medical MRI/CAT scans or medical things I may need (when over 350 bls I was severly limited), be able to get on a Dr.'s exam table for my yearly pap exam (or any other procedure I may have needed), be able to buy and wear womans shoes from any store, where any bracelt, necklace, or watch and have it not be to small, sit in or at a picnic table, fit into any electric cart at the stores (the scooter carts the provide), shave my legs, take care of my own bathroom needs and hygiene when done (for me this looked like this: not being able to wipe myself, to then being able to wipe standing up and reaching back, to now being able to wipe like most people while sitting down), do household chores, go in the care without my power chair and move about and get to do things without having to wait in the car, go to a public park without a powerchair and enjoy the beauty, ride the ACCESS bus alone, use any public transportation alone with no issues, not have to use sleep apnea machine any time I needed to sleep or take possible naps, go out and sing karaoke, sit in a dentist chair and for the dental assistant to still have the chair working, fit into any fitting room, get onto the floor and then be able get back up off of the floor, bend over and touch the floor and/or my feet, put my shoes on, tie my shoes, sit in lawn chairs of any kind, scratch my own back, reach the backs of my thinghs and legs, use a regular toilet (not just a raised toilet seat), sit on just one kitchen chair (not two) and be able to have my two feet on the floor, sit in the living room with Bernard (we always had to be in the bedroom do to my comfort), wear seatbelts without extenders, wear a back pack and walk.
So these are a few of the things ( I am sure that I have missed some things).
I will post the things that I still look forward and want to do and in time will do them. I see what I will accomplish and what is going to be in my future as I reach my goals!

  Ok, so much to tell of my life as a super duper fat chick! I can say fat chicks rule.... I am still fat so I can. Besides that, I have been a super duper fat chick! At whatever size we are we need to accept ourselves. This can be an issue for people when they are over weight... underweight... or just are insecure about who or what they are.

When you are secure with who you are, you are able to hold your head high and enjoy things around you with a confidence that radiates outward.
This is what I believe is a positive attitude not to be done in a conceited way.
Something I have found to be true. Also, then generally you attract people in your life that become your friends and who does not want to have a few good friends... right!!
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But in general, this goes for everyone in the world, we all are humans put on this earth to live. Not to feel like we have to hide ourselfs. To accept difference in the world. Not always agree or like something but to accept and move on with out such harsh mean ways that can hurt other humans.

Old but Current Mottos:
"If you cannot says something nice, do not say anything at all"
or "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

So we all are great just for me I used a decriptive word to say what it is, a fat chick and it can be used in a positive way. Pending the intent or way someone says something it can be a positive! If it is said in a negative way, (and we know what that would and could sound like) we can internalize it and take it for what it is..... or we can reword it in our own words and make our own story!

I learned from a very smart lady once..... Perception is a Key to Success! I agreed with this! I know this is silly but it is so true! We control what we take in, how we process it and use it.

  I am in control of my own destiny.

"You drive your life's ship, fuel it good and stear it in the right direction. Ask for directions when you need to, sooner than later as it will be easier to get it going back in the right direction with less work, damage and cost to you."

Positive does feed Positive! We have the choice to be positive rather than negative. If you go to negative all the time, negative becomes the way one sees things. It can consume us and then it becomes harder to see the positives right when it is front of your eyes. Even in a negative situation there can be a positive. Sometimes harder to see but there is one there. If you cannot see it, ask for help. Sometimes it is a matter of timing. Patience is a Virtue. Beware of your Vices.
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Ok, so I like affirmations and thoughts. I do like to live in the positive, and trust me I do have and have had a great share of negatives through out my life. Although those that know me, Know that I do not let them define me and destroy my positiveness in and towards life. With my weight gains through out life, I have not looked at them as negatives for me in life. I have had a great fat lady life. Although I did not even think about a limit to my fatness. I lived happy. Health is why I had to make a change. Reflecting on it right now, I know for my body parts that I should have done something much sooner, but it is what it is. Now is my time!! This is what I have done and I am enjoying it. I would not say I regret not having done this sooner, as I may have missed many opportunities that I have gotten to experience. Who knows wich way my life's ship would have went if things were different. It does not matter to me, because I am grateful for what I have and what I have had in life! The negatives happen in life, and so yes, I do not disregard them and pretend they are not there. The difference is that I see a negative but then have to find a positive. No this is not the easiest thing to do, I know, BUT DO IT... TRY IT!!

"Learn how to use Affirmations and Positive thinking to manifest positive life changes."

Just a note on the previous thought, God thank you for now at least I am able to wear underwear again!!!  I cannot say this loud enough or enough!!

At my largest I was not able to wear underwear to easily... and eventually none. I got to where a skirt or dress was my only option for clothing.   Yes and at that time of the month a towel stuffed in there during my period was my only option.   That was terriably hard for me to deal with.  Alot of super large woman have said they were surprised that I had regular flowing periods each month.  Yes, that never went away. 
TMI again...I know, but as I say, it was what it was.

This is my prayer.... well one of my many little prayers:

Dear God,

Please let me see the light to the day as to when I will not have to wear my underwear backwards any longer!!
You see, because my belly apron hangs so far down I need the biggest side of my underwear to be in the front. I look forward to the day I actually have the back of my underwear in the back!!!!  Oh when will this day come! 

But thank you God for helping me lose this weight to be able to put underwear on again... even it they are on backwards!!!

  Oh, ok, so I will tell you about my transition and determination to keep pushing on. Well I told you that we have an indoor pool and outdoor pool here at the apts. I was not able to get into the indoor pool because my legs and arms were not strong enough to get me in or out for that matter. Soon enough by the beginning of September 2010 I was able to get myself into the hot tub, and I would roll like a walrus over to the pool edge and plop in. Then I would swim and walrus roll back over to the hot tub and go through the process with help to get out of the hot tub water. Evetually with my weightloss and strength building up I was able to rid the crutch to get out of the hot tub. I was determined to get in the pool without having to roll over in and out. By the end of September 2010 I was finally able to get in the pool at the pool corner steps with my crutch. By sometime in early part of October 2010 I was finally able to get out of the pool using the corner steps. With every pound lost and the strength that I was getting doing excersizes I was feeling more and more accomplishments.

Just a quick note for up to date.... I still swim in the pool almost daily.... and with ease am getting in and out of that pool and finally am able to pull myself out of the pool at the end that has the built in pool wall latter! I am getting arm strength and with lessoning my weight it is all working out great for me.

That brings me to this, I started a bucket list of things that I want to do that I have not done do to my size or stopped being able to do because of my size.  I have been living for almost ten years of my life as a woman weighing over 500 lbs. I managed to work fulltime as a supersized woman until November 2007. I took care of life but certainly always had to adapt the things in my life to accomodate my size.  Some may think that I was not actually taking care of my life.  I was content however.  It was a downfall that occurred in my life in the first part of 2008 that caused me to stop working and then I had difficulties with just getting back to work and making life truely keep happening at the size I was.  I could not just pop back into my full time working and things began to spiral. 

There was not a lack of love for me that caused me to decide to change my life as a super fat lady.

Not wanting to sound as though my life has been terriable due to my supersizeness. I loved life and enjoyed many things and was very outgoing and happy. I loved me and my size.... but sometimes it was a love/hate relationship to myself. Honestly again, I loved EATING, BEING FED, and being ADORED. My soft volumptious self was comfortable. It was not until I was over 600lbs that things really got out of my comfort zone with adapting and so forth.

Yes, there were times that I tried to diet and lose some, but about 10 years ago.... I really tried less cause I just would continue to grow even bigger and I figured I was happy where I was at and I was still able to maintain life. Although as I was growing older my body (joints and things) were telling me something. 

Oh, by the way I have this "bucket list"..... it is exciting.  I keep it on my Ipad and take note to it quite often now.  I will share this soon.

  There are so many "little things" in life that have changed and are changing since losing weight.
I do not take for granted the things that in daily life everyone else can take for granted. Having not been able to do alot of the things that in everyday life I should be able to do. I am grateful to all that have helped me in life. But again I am a constant work in progress!

Now when I get up in the morning, I thank God that I can get up, grab my cane and hobble to the bathroom.
While in the bathroom I no longer need a toilet seat raiser, I do not have to worry about the toilet seat breaking, I am able to wipe and clean myself. (Bernard used to have to be there to clean me after toileting and while he worked in the day I would try to do the best I could with "tools" but he would have to clean me up when he got home). I remember a few times he would come home on his lunch break to help me. Things were a tough challenge.
I know that after my first hundred pounds lost there were alot of changes that I started to notice. I was able to sit a bit more with less pain, although my leg cramps (especially at night) were terriable. These were so severe that muscles relaxers were all that would get them to calm down. I wish nobody to have such cramping in their bodies. Things were getting easier little by little and I would get so excited. Ok, so I still get excited cause each day it seems I am able to things I could'nt before and even just a little easier!