Lunasweetz69

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I am down to 214.6! I reached my goal & got into a size 16 comfortably! I'm a few weeks from my 1yr anniversary & hoping to be close to a size 14. It has been a difficult journey. I finally feel like I have restriction. My last fill was March 30th and FINALLY know that "feeling"! Big milestone...I played in a moonwalk! I have always been afraid to attempt going into one bc I wasn't sure if my @$$ would fit thru the opening. I went in & played all day with my daughter at her bday party.

To my next goal...size 14!  

So I am down 7lbs this month! That is HUGE for me! The smallest # I saw was 223.4lbs. I think I was 19 when I saw those #s. Pretty exciting. I have been working so hard this month. I don't eat after 7p. I work out atleast 5x a week. My new goal is to run a 5K by October. My lovely coworker literally burst out in laughter, but I will use it as fuel for my journey. Nothing can stop me from achieving my goals. I am gaining some control and I will get the body/health I have always wanted. Whats a few battle scars?

So I FINALLY broke free of the 230s! It seems the 10s group takes me a few months to lose, which is so frustrating. But when I finally broke thru to the 220s, I wanted to cry! I have up'ed my workouts and my control over food. Reading a really good book by Brad Lamm about taking control of the food addiction. I have walked away from daily bacon and biscuits. I walked away from delicious pita chips! I have been very proud of my ability to say "NO! I don't need it and it doesn't own me!" Which sounds really dumb, but how often have we been consumed by junk food. Almost jonesin' for the junk. If I feel I need a fix, I eat a serving of pretzels and a tiny fun size bag of skittles. It helps the portion control and I don't feel like a total out of control loser when I do. 

So I've been pushing myself farther at the gym. Biggest breakthru for me was the ability to do walking lunges. My trainer told me we will do them all around the gym track. I looked at him as if he had lost his mind, but I tried it anyway.  It was so liberating to be able to accomplish that massive feat! I was so proud! 8 days later, he made me do 2 rounds. I thought I was going to die, but I survived anyway. So YAY! for surviving a task I couldn't do a yr ago! 

3/22/11 will be exactly a yr since I've met Sean and had him by my side to whip my @$$! I've truly come a long way! I went from a size 26 to an 18! I am down pretty much 40lbs! I am more mobile and flexible. I feel sexier than ever! Its truly an amazing transformation. I'm a little frustrated I'm not closer to the 100lb wt loss mark, but I will celebrate every lb!

Liberating moment of the month...cleaning out my closet & drawers! Anything big or frumpy was either thrown out or donated to charity! I gloriously fit into my prom dress, which was actually a 16W, but breathing wasn't too much in the agenda. But the important pt is that it was zipped up and didn't explode! I also wore my wedding dress for just a moment. I savored the fact that it was now too loose on me! What a glorious feeling! I squeezed into it on my wedding day! So I am smaller today than I was almost 8 yrs ago!

Jillian Michaels is a little nazi, but she is awesome.

I am very proud that I continued losing during the holidays. I was able to eat the good food, but I did it in small portions. Since my last measurement were taken 11/5/10, I have went down 3.5inches. Considering this is the time to eat, I was proud of those #s. I'm still stuck in the 230s. Hit 233 and have been between 3 lbs since then. Not a big deal...at least the inches are coming off.

Big milestone. Was at the park & decided to try the swings. I have a very vivid memory of the swing hurting my hips sooooo badly because I just didn't fit. This time, I soared thru the air & noticed my hips no longer hurt. I actually fit in the swing. I can soar & not ache. It was a small thing, but to me it was a big triumph.

I got some new scrub tops. I got two XL tops and it shows off my curves. I'm still shy about it, but I'm embracing my success.

Baby steps, but I'm feeling good about my progress. Its painstakingly SLOW, but there is over 2 feet less of me! 27in & 33 lbs is pretty awesome!

I'm excited to FINALLY be in the land of 230s! This morning I was 236lb, but I am confident it will continue to go down! I am almost half way thru my 230s! I have definitely had more restriction since my last fill. The last few nights, I have either had a shake for dinner or nothing at all. Maybe I am just too tired at night or just super restricted. I can't really eat in the morning either, but lunch seems to be my caloric intake time!

Its been REALLY nice getting noticed lately. Everyone seems to see a change. I am officially wearing my XL scrub pants & I can breathe in them! So double WOOHOO!

I hope to continue on the progress. I haven't been to the gym this week. My daughter was sick & I threw out my back. But I am starting fresh Monday. I know once I increase my lean muscle mass again, I will feel better.

So that is about it. I am proud of reaching a new milestone! Now to get past the 230s & enter the 220s...haven't seen those #s in sooooooo long. I think possibly 7+ yrs ago! How sad is that? But not to worry, I am getting my sexy back!

Lately, I have been feeling like a lapband failure. I felt as if I should be farther along in my weight loss by now, but I was not anywhere near. So of course I felt down and sad. I was even afraid to see my surgeon today bc I felt like I was gonna feel the wrath of my failure with my popular doc who tells u how it is when u r failing lol. So I got there and I'm only down 2lbs since my last visit 2 months ago. But he did give me another 1cc. I am up to 8.5cc and on a 24h liquid diet. I hate doing that, but its necessary. Maybe I will get a really pleasant surprise in the morning.

Anyway, my biggest milestone is my measurements. I compared my March 22, 2010 measurements to Sept 23rd, 2010. I have lost an over 21.25inches! Thats incredible! I was absolutely dumbfounded by that finding. Everyone is telling me I look differet and I'm obviously wearing XL & 18, but I really couldn't see it. Now I have the justification!

This has just given me the strength to take my life to the next step. Dr. Turnquest gave me shit about not doing the sleeve because this is MUCH slower, but I feel it was really the right decision. There was a reason everything fell the way it did, so I am putting my trust in God to lead me down the right path!

So here is to the next 6wks! My goal is to try to lose 5-10lbs and a few more inches. I can do this! I want to leave the 240s FOREVER! I have been in this field wayyyy too long. So here is to the next challenge. I can do this!

I am getting my life back on track. My hormones feel like they have FINALLY resettled back to normal. Loestrin is the DEVIL! I'm kinda afraid to start my new triphasic pills. I will think about it.

Here is to the small milestones!

So I have been pretty steady weight wise, but I'm still losing inches. The progress is slow, which makes me absolutely crazy, but I'm sure in the long run it will be beneficial. I sometimes sit there wondering if I got the wrong surgery. In my opinion, the wt would drop faster & easier with the sleeve or bypass. Either way, I know I was meant to have the band and I am sticking to it. I have to update my measurements because I know I've lost 10in of my waist alone, so that is a huge feat!

I'm still struggling on the emotional aspect. My hormones r pretty much out of whack after the loss, but we r correcting that. I'm back on the pill, so hopefully I will be a little more stable and a little less crazy. I sometimes look at my behavior and ask..."Who the hell is that??"

Will update more later.

So I have this new life adventure list I came up with before surgery. One big thing on there was jetskiing. I have always wanted to do it, but afraid & embarassed bc of my weight! But yesterday, I threw that life jacket on, got in the lake (ACK!) & hopped on! It was an incredible, liberating experience. I am grateful that my hubby didn't let me fly off bc the lake freaks me out, but it was so much fun & a huge milestone for me. I even enjoyed everyone's reaction to how my body is changing. Apparently, its really obvious. I might not be losing the lbs, but my body is changing. Everyday is a step closer.

I also made the mistake of too much carbs & salt...learned my lesson...the hard way!

I had 2 small hotdogs at the campgrounds with a tiny amt of chips. They went down without too much effort, but I was sitting a bit uncomfortable. When I was on my way to the baseball game, I munched on some croutons, not many...but starting feeling a bit tight. At the game, I had this genius idea of having a soft pretzel. My body apparently at that moment had had enough and I got violently sick. I did running lunges up the stairs & threw up twice. I thought the worst was over...until I took a sip of water 10 min after. I was hiccupping so violently, I thought I was gonna hurl all over my hubby's boss's family. That would not have helped his promotion chances lol. So yeah, I learned my lesson. Apparently, with the salt from the hotdog, my body decided it was time for restriction to kick in.

Live & Learn! Either way, it was a difficult painful day that we turned into a feel good one!

My lbs haven't been doing me any good, but my body sure is different! I had this amazing moment last week! My therapist told me my fave shirt was ridiculously big and I needed to buy a new shirt immediately. So I walked into Old Navy bc I wanted to see if I can fit into their "normal" sized clothes again. So to my surprise, I could fit into their 18 jeans and XL & Large shirts. OMG!!!! I almost cried in the dressing room. I haven't seen a 1 in front of jeans size in YEARS! I was very proud. I decided on the XL shirts bc I looked better in them. I also treated myself to a new peacoat. Its black & grey plaid that makes it look like a burberry without the obscene price. What was special about this coat...it was made for a woman and had the pretty belt on the back. All my peacoats never looked right now me bc they were made for a man bc I never had the right size for me. Now I can wear a beautiful feminine coat this winter.

So I was in total shock about the sizes and decided it was time for pre & post op pictures. I had my hubby help & compared them using powerpoint. The change was incredible. I will post them when I get a chance, but now I carry those pictures in my blackberry for daily reminders of how far I've come. I have a cute waist & a lifted booty. My booty used to be flat, wide, and had its own zip code!

To make matters even more amazing. After dinner lastnight, I was inspired to try on the jeans that didn't go far up my thighs a few weeks ago. I squeezed into them & now they close. I'm very excited about my ever changing body.

The only downside is the crazy emotional journey. I feel like my hormones & emotions are all over the place. I've decided to try to pay less attention to the numbers, but I can't help myself.

I am working hard with my trainer twice a week for an hr and I'm trying to get a body pump class in every once in a while. My schedule has been making it quite difficult. But I'm staying active.

So here is to the next step.

I got another fill. I am not at 7.5cc of my 11cc band. I can still eat, but restriction is more apparent. Bananas & breads make me kinda uck, but large salad with croutons go down just fine...go figure. So here is to another day!

Funniest compliment by my dr. "Your head looks smaller!" Ummmm...thank you?

I can't lie, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the positive feedback & attention.

The scale still isn't friendly, but my body is definitely changing. I had an "AH HA!" moment on Monday. I was meeting a friend for coffee and I saw my reflection in the window. My hips didn't look huge, my thighs were less thunderous, and I had a cute shape. I actually had to stop and soak it in that that was actually me! My friend chuckled bc he has been thru this already and asked me, how does it feel? It felt invigorating and really gave me the motivation to move along on my journey.

So activity wise, we are doing better.  I got my trainer back and had 2 good sessions. We are walking and jogging intervals outside, which was definitely different and very exciting. I am not a runner, but I've always been envious. He thinks I can run a 5K within a few months. That would definitely be something! Maybe Craig and I can start running together. I am just worried about how it will do on my joints.

I'm super exciting my hubby's schedule is changing. His new shift will put us back on track for getting to the gym to do cardio at least 3x a week and I will have my trainer at the house about 2x a week. VERY VERY EXCITED. I'm ready to get refocused and tweek my body into something healthy and sexy!

I think with this surgery, the hormonal fluctuations have been the biggest challenge. My emotions have been all over the place. I have started seeing a therapist to help me with my issues, but its still something crazy. I knew it was going to happen, but I wasn't prepared by the intensity of it.

I'm a 6cc, which definitely is better than 4cc, but I'm still able to eat, just not as much carbs. Hopefully my next fill will give me more saiety. But the interesting part this week, I'm not really all that hungry. For breakfast, my appetite decreased, I'd be pretty hungry at lunch & eat a big meal, and I would almost not eat dinner. Kinda strange.

So here is to moving forward into more positive reinforcement!