Melissalove3

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Hey Hot guy on Mt T*****,  When you jog by me and say, "Good morning beautiful!"  and I almost run into a tree because of you, Don't laugh that shit ain't funny... I don't need you to side track me. I'm working out up here... Sheesh!!!


Side note, workouts are going great. I really need to up my protein I am barely getting in 60gms. I feel like I have no time and all I'm doing is eating or drinking. I'm going to try and add in an extra shake at night. 

Also I'm finally in XL shirts and a 16 pants. I got hips, I guess that's just the way it is. I am excited to go from a 3XL to an XL.  I have given all my too big clothes away as I dint ever want to see them or wear them again.  It feels good to go through the clothing and go, Nope, too big and put it in a bag. When I was looking through the clothes I can't believe I was actually THAT BIG.  The clothes look HUGE. Its weird because when I was wearing them they didn't seem that big... I guess that was mind playing tricks on me, making me feel better about my size.  I am finally starting to see the weight loss in my stomach area. The other day I was standing in the kitchen and my husband and I were talking and he was just staring at me. I said why are you staring? He said Oh my god, you are melting. I can't believe how small you are getting. You are so tiny.( OK yes he really said Tiny, I'm a long way from tiny but I will take the compliment) This is the first time he has really said anything to me about my weight loss. Don't get me wrong he has been supportive by letting me work out and watch the kids, and letting me get my sleep. But, hearing that from him was so great.   I also got a new hairdo and color and I LOVE IT! I think I look 10 years younger. I haven't had bangs since I was in high school. I think I'm making the bangs come back as everyone loves the hair.  I actually stole the look from Jennifer Aniston's new allure magazine cover.  I never actually thought I would ever get an Aniston do. But I think it works on me... Well I'm off to get a peppermint tea with my girls at work...

So I got out the scale today after avoiding for a week and down 6 lbs.  But, the reason I am writing is to vent about my loving mother. She always seems to say the wrong things. I know she means well but then she just puts a zinger out there. I was talking to her on the phone the other night and she says, "So where are you at? How much weight this month?" I said, "Well I havent weighed myself because it hadnt moved in a few days, but I lost almost 4 inches off my waist." She then asked me how much I said um lets see since I weighed myself last I have lost about 12 lbs this month." Then there was a pause and she says,"Oh, well I thought it would be more you know since you had the bypass." But, keep doing what your doing keep working out. Im really proud of you." WTF???  Im thinking 12 lbs, even if thats all I loose this month I will be happy with it!  Sometimes, I swear she doesnt realize her impact on me.  When I was younger I had came back from visiting my dad and she thought I had come back chubby. So from that point on from the time I was 7 until I was 18 when I moved out I was not allowed to eat anything without asking. I was not allowed to just go into the fridge or the cupboard. So, what did I do? Yep I went and hid food.  My brother and sister who are still skinny by the way who were much younger could eat whatever they wanted....But me I had to ask. I can say that it did prevent me from gaining too much weight when I was younger but I would sneak food at times.   Oh well Im learning to correct now. I just need to find a nice way to tell my mom to not say negative things to me.

Im not really mad about a stall. I knew it would happen. 3 weeks no weight loss. So I got out my measuring tape. 2 inches off my arms and 4 inches off my waist. Everything else is the same but 4 inches off the waist...Woohoo!! No wonder why the only pair of jeans I have started feeling bagggy.   I know I lost a ton of weight right before and right after so Im way ahead of where I should be. 

Im down 50lbs. Its so great!! I have been so busy over the Holidays..  I just cant believe that Im on week 6 already.  I have been cleared to open up my food choices.  Which is good because I know I need it but choking down protien shakes is NOT my idea of a good time. 

Tomorrow I start the mushy foods. I feel I am ready.  These last 14 days have just flown by and I have really had no problems just having liquids.  I am going to consider myself lucky as I know that some people struggle greatly.  I am however having problems getting all the liquids in. I try I really do.  I pretty much drink all day long and still short on the liquids and the protein. But, I have improved in the last 2 days so I'm just trying to stay positive. My children gave me this terrible cough and I had to go to urgent care today to make sure I didn't have pneumonia.  So I got weighed I haven't been weighed since the day of my surgery and I have lost another 10 lbs. Its very exciting. Now I'm at the weight I was with both of my children on delivery day...LOL. The Dr gave me some cough medicine and sent me on my way.  I'm grateful because my stomach was really starting to hurt from coughing that much. 

                  APPROVED!!!! Finally! Im so excited. Of course I was in a meeting and when I came back message from my favorite MA. The message was so sweet and she was excited too!!!   Doing my happy dance!!

My Doctor gave me the bariatric pre op diet paper work. Lets see Fish, Turkey, Chicken, 1 cup of veggies-no starchy, 1 protien shake a day w/non fat milk. NF/SF yogart. can add blueberries or strawberries up to 1/2 cup. Ricotta cheese, cottage cheese.  Not too bad!!! I dont have to do the full liquid diet except for 48 hrs prior!!! Woohoo! Turkey, Veggies_ Yes I can have some sorta Thanksgiving dinner!  I have been on this since Oct 1st and have lost 13 lbs. I put on my work jacket today and I noticed that it wasnt tight at all in fact it was loose! Sooo exciting. I can't wait for the insurance company to approve me. Since we found out that they misplaced the initial paperwork they said 10 to 15 days so I should be hearing something by sometime next week. It hasn't stopped me from calling them everyday to check their progress....LOL.   Im am being patient and just working on my mental state. I think its funny that I never actually looked at myself as fat untill a year ago when my daughter took a picture of me on my phone and when I looked at it I couldnt believe how I looked. I knew what I weighed but I had talked myself into thinking that I just carried it well... I guess that was my aha moment. The moment of change. The moment I decided I would never go back to. I have had several people ask me why I am going on leave now that I informed my employer that I had a tentative date.  I have no problem telling a few a people I have been here almost 14 years so some of these people are truly family. I only had one friend say she was worried about me and that I should really consider something else. I just looked her dead in the eye and said look you have NEVER had a weight problem even with the pregnancy of your two children you are just naturally thin.  I have had to battle with my weight since the 3rd grade. I wore a size 3 in womens when I was 10 and never looked back. I had to battle with my weight all through high school even though I was an exceptional athlete I still had to starve myself so I could be thin.  I had to fight for my short stop position EVERY year. For some reason me being thick equated to not better than the skinny girls. Even though I beat them out every year I still had to work twice as hard. I need it! Im ready to be who I feel inside. She said Ok then I will be here for you and smiled. I started thinking about all the fat things that have been said to me over the years..that to come later.

I have been waiting for 18 days for my approval.. So I got brave and called my insurance company to see what was going on. What do ya know, Tom the nice man on the other ends says," I don't have anything from your Dr's office." WHAT? You are kidding me right?  So I called my Dr's office to find out what was going on. Of course the MA is not there. I left her a message to please call me. How can they have nothing?  I was standing there when she received the conformation of fax sent.  But, this has become my blessing in disguise. I originally was planning on having Lap Band surgery. I wouldn't even consider any other surgery mainly because I was scared.  When I met with the surgeon back in July I really felt like she didn't want me to get the band. She didn't say it but I could tell that she wanted me to check all my options and thoroughly look at all the procedures. So after leaving her office I really started researching my options. So when I talked to the MA, I said I'm going to change surgeries. She said, "You know, you are doing the right thing." You only want to do this once."  I felt this relief come across me, She also said that My Dr. is so excellent at the procedure and she thinks I'm going to be really happy.  I feel like I'm over my fear. I'm ready for this and I'm now on my way. She also said that she was on the phone with them when they got the fax and that they promised they would expedite my approval, since it was their error!