Rita T.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Today was my first day back at work and... I realized how much I don't like that job. The people are great and the work isn't horrible its just so boring. I'm a temp at a certain insurance company but by being a temp I don't get paid for holidays. Basically I have to be thre for a consecutive 90 days and come christmas and thanksgiving thats a lot of days not to get paid for. I have only been there for a couple of months and they have been great about me taking time of for surgery (They don't actually know what kind of surgery). Its just that I need to make more money AND I would really like to get a job in the field I studied for. I recently graduated so it just seems hard to figure out what to do.

I can't afford to be out of a job for even a day. I have my school loan to pay off soon and I am not even sure if I can afford it.

As far as the surgery goes I feel absolutely exhausted! A guy was training me in something new and I was literally nodding off. my weight hasn't dropped really either. Not sure why... mayube I'm eating too much HA HA HA... yeah.... right... 
maybe not enough water or lack of protein... I don't know...

I don't like my job :(

Oh my god I jsut got back from the doctor's and I have freaking lost 12.5 pounds in a week!!! in only a week!!! WTF?!?!?!

Do you have any idea how much hard work and sweat and time it would take me to lose that much weight? probably like 2 months or something. I cried after I got off the scale and when I got home I cried some more just out of pure joy. I am sure so many of you have felt this kind of joy and I am so glad to be in that group.

Oh and like the masses I have now started a blog on youtube about my journey. here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIUwnq7c2ys

okay so I am minutes away from headed downstirs and taking a shuttle to go to Dr. Pleatman's office. I can;t wait because he has a scale there!!!! it will be the first time I weigh myself since surgery. its only been a week but I bet I had lost something anything!!!

So here is my journey so far… On the 10^th of June I got on an airplane from Tampa Florida to Detroit Michigan. Of course it was storming outside so the flight was extra scary to me. Luckily we had a great pilot because I didn’t even feel getting off the ground (I didn’t see it either because I had my eyes shut tight).

I landed a couple of hours in Michigan where my mom was waiting for me. I went to baggage claim only to have to wait there for a half hour or so for it to arrive. Finally my bag came I got on the Avis bus and met my mom with the car. She and I gave each other hug and we were off for an hour to two hour drive to Auburn Hills Michigan where we were staying at the Hilton. Thank god for my mom’s Garmin GPS otherwise I don’t think we would have been able to make it.

So when we get to the Hilton the stupid lady behind the desk already giving us attitude before we got a word out said that the room my mom had reserved over a week ago AND called to make sure the room was still available the night before was GONE. There was some sort of a power outage in the area so everyone was staying in hotels. So we got the most disgusting hotel in room 113 (yeah 13 what a great number) and it was a double with the most disgusting smell of stale smoke. The room was dirty and neither my mom nor I was happy. So that whole time my mom was getting very irritated so I said I would take care f the lady but she just kept saying there was nothing she could do AND that there was no one above her I could talk to. SO I said fine… at least for that night. The next morning I talked to another girl at the fornt desk explained to her very calmly what happened the night before. SO she apologized repeatedly and was offering us free breakfast and free movies and finally I said well you know I don’t really watch a lot of tv but I thought you all had free internet (knowing they didn’t and that it cost 10 bucks a day for it). So she very peppy-ly said of course. Gave me a card and POW free internet for the ENTIRE time we are staying at the hotel. Not to mention we were moved to a non-smoking room with a balcony. I originally thought my mom was going to get a smoking room because she smokes but she changed her mind I guess which made me super happy she smokes out on the balcony while I stay in the room with the doors closed. So all is well with the hotel outside of a few complaints my mom has (she never stops complaining but oh well that’s her).

So on the 11^th my mom and I go to the doctors office for my check up and measurements. We end up staying in the waiting room for over an hour and I also found out there was some paper work I never filled out so I had to do that. Finally after my mom looked like she was going to blow up we got in with the doctor. The doctor too my picture and my measurements felt my abdomen and tried to convince me AGAIN to just get the VGS where they only take the stomach away and don’t re-route the intestines. I politely said no. So then I was off to the dietician.

I went alone to the dietician’s because my mom needed to eat and I was on my liquid diet so I wasn’t really allowed to eat anything. There was supposed to be 4 people all together going to the dieticians course and one of those four was supposed to be my mom which left 3  but in the end it ended up just being me alone. With the two other people. They told me about a really good protein and even gave me what they had left of theirs because I didn’t have anything good. The protein I bought was SUPER gross. They had this stuff called Any Whey which dissolves in just about anything. So then after the dietician my mom and I drove back to the hotel and I took the car to find a Wal-Mart in the area.

Guess what! There are like NO Wal-Mart’s in Michigan! I went to one and it was just an empty parking lot with a building with the Wal-Mart sign torn down then I went to another one and it was now a target. So I got into the target bought a couple of things including instant pudding not realizing we don’t have any bowls in the hotel to make it. I asked the girl behind the counter where there was a grocery store or something and she said I should go to a place called Meijer. Its like a super Wal-Mart basically. I only took one more thing fro there because I was going to be on my liquid diet a day or two after surgery. I bought some chicken broth, water, sugar free pudding and skim milk. I made it back to the hotel and took my laxative before the surgery.

The laxative took effect super quick and I was tired from the days events so I went to bed. I actually got a full nights sleep. I was surprised because I thought I would up all night tossing and turning.

Well in the morning I woke up at 7am took my antibacterial shower and washed my hair. My mom did the same. I wasn’t allowed to eat since midnight the night before so I didn’t have breakfast or anything to drink because really nothing was supposed to go into my mouth. We went to POH hospital and then the fun began.. I paid the doctor the day before with the $5000 credit card and my mom was going to pay for the hospital and anesthesiologist. I still had an extra $700 that I was supposed to pay but for some reason the hospital was not taking my card… that was the first problem. THEN my mom tried to use her credit card and it was denied after they tried it for like the third time my mom called up the bank and they told her that she had a $1,500 limit… in the mean time the clock is ticking for me to prep for surgery. So by the time they tried her card again she as locked out of her account. Oh and did I mention that they didn’t accept checks? Yeah… Okay so she got the one manager lady to let her pay part of it with her credit card (her other credit card) and the rest with a check (thank god they were being nice). So then I was off to pee…

I couldn’t pee!!! I peed in the morning and since I wasn’t allowed any fluids of course I couldn’t pee right then and there not to mention I get stage fright. So instead they had me walk back get changed into a backless gown and put and IV into the back of my left hand. And let me tell you that freaking hurt!!!! They also drew some blood but that wasn’t nearly as painful. So after putting in god knows how much IV fluid in me I had to pee!!! I even had to pee twice. During the whole time doctors and nurses kept coming up to me saying hi I am so and so I work with Dr. Pleatman blah blah blah. I did end up crying because my mom said something I don’t know what I just know it was hurtful and I was already feeling enough anxiety. Then she went on to insult me for crying in public… yeah just what I need. So she thought I was crying because of my boyfriend and wanted to take my phone away but then I told her it was her and she got all pissy and said fine I’m gone and left. She came back after a little while but we didn’t talk much. Before all this we were getting along fine and taking pictures etc. She just doesn’t know me anymore I think and she still treats me like I am 5 years old. The time I spent with her in the hotel after the surgery I pretty much just tried my best to smile and be pleasing but of course there was always something for her to be pissed off about so whatever. I was finally rolled into the operating room at around 1-ish. They put the mask over my face and before I knew it I was out. Next thing I remember I was in the recovery room with a soar throat.

I woke up in what is by far the most horrible pain I have ever felt. It felt like they opened me from breast down and punched and stomped on my organs. No matter what I did if I breathed if I moved just laying down hurt from the organs sitting on top of each other. I asked for some pain medication and they gave me morphine. My mom in the mean time smiling her head off was taking pictures. I had a couple of phone calls from friends seeing how I was doing. I made it out alive but it was by far the worst pain I have endured to date. I don’t remember too much of that day other than sleeping a lot trying to move and taking trying to suck in some ice chips. The catheter was also uncomfortable. It didn’t hurt in the least just a weird feeling. I think at some point I feel asleep for a while. I kept waking up and I keep asking for morphine the pain was almost unbearable. I managed to walk a little and my mom kept making me try and turn out of bed by making the bed sit up it was painful and I hated her for it. I just kept wishing she would stop pushing me and let me do it on my own time. At one point I was trying to take two ice chips at a time one after the other and all it did was make me nauseas. I also woke up about 4-5 times with hiccups which was the worst feeling ever. I hurt when I hiccup on a normal basis but this was excruciating.

The next morning I felt a million times better. I was able to walk more I did a couple of laps around the hospital floor and I had them take the catheter out the night before. I had blue boots on my legs and it helped me from getting blood clots by squeezing my calves. I had them take it off and put it back on so many times because of the damn iv in my hand I had to keep getting up to use the rest room. My mom came back in the morning for a little while but left after I think he figured out she wasn’t being much help. I also got a breathing thing to increase the size of my lungs so I don’t get pneumonia. That day I did couple laps at one point around the floor and not only that but I actually got to try and eat lunch after I noticed the ice chips were going down and staying down. They brought me decaffeinated coffee, watered down grape juice, chicken broth, and of course red jell-o. I didn’t drink the coffee I never did like coffee to begin with. I ate most of the broth a few bites of the red jell-o and I really enjoyed the grape juice. I actually got a lot more down then I thought I would. I was almost worried I was going to throw it up any minute, but I didn’t. They took out my IV and I finally could stop peeing every hour. I was actually feeling so good that sometime in the early afternoon my doctor visited me and said that if I was keeping fluids down that I could go home. So I was a little worried at first but I got the courage up and decided it was okay for me to leave. I called my mom back and she was happy to take me home.

It was amazing how much better I felt the second day. I am home now and only spent a little over 24 hours in the hospital. I am still experiencing pain and lots of gas troubles but it was all worth it. To anyone reading this that is thinking about getting the laparoscopic RNY I highly suggest it. The pain is going to be great but it will be worth it, I promise.

Its official I am now seated on the edge of the losers bench. My surgery was June 12th at around 12-1pm. My stats at that time were:

weight - 268.5lbs
height - 5'3.5"
BMI - 46.7
Neck - 15 inches
Waist  - 51 inches
hips - 55 inches
age - 23 years old (birthday June 25th)

I was all self pay. I had help through a credit card or two and my mother. I had the laproscopic RNY surgery with Dr. Pleatman in Bloomfield Hills Michigan becuase its cheaper than anywhere else. The costs are below:

Hospital - $5,700
Doctor - $5,200
Anesthesiologist - $780 (this has to be cash or cashiers check)

The above prices do not include the hotel stay or the cost of food, protein and vitamins (vitamins I saved up for prior to surgery) You should get ALL chewable vitamins crushing some are nto easy. bariatricmart.com is great as is ebay.

I bought a protein off of ebay but it was horrible super clumpy and NOT tasteless like it said. My nutritionist was nice enough to give me some she had at our meeting. The best I have tried so far is Any Whey mixes in great and even the particles that are thicker have no taste. 17g of protein.

I was in the hospital for less than a day and a half. I went in under aroun1pm or maybe 2pm was out around 5ish and in LOTS of pain. I felt much better the next day and keep fluids down (there will be much more dramatic version of what happened in my next post).

WALKING IS KEY!!! It may seem like such a pain in the ass having to walk every hour but after I walked I really did feel better and it did seem to make me feel better.

I went home on the 13th mid afternoon I had 6 holes and plenty of pain medicine just in case. chicken broth and protein == the best food for the clear liquid diet protion of your diet. Chocolate sugar free pudding w/ protein mixed in == best for full liquid diet.

Only another half hour till I go to the hospital and only 2 hours till I go under. I was int he bathroom taking my antibacterial shower and I said goodbye to mysel fin the mirror. Not so much in a I'm going to die kind of way but a more so hell o new me kind of way.

I am okay with going into the hospital so far its just when I talk to Geoff (my boyfriend) that I start to get really sad. I'm more worried about whats going ot happen to him if I don't make it in comparison of whats going to happen to me. Well now that I am writing all this I am getting all teary eyed.

I hope everything goes well. I'm okay with pain as long as I live. I think its time to go so Goodbye for now.

oh higest weight 273
weight day of surgery 268

height 5'3.5"

So I fly out tonight to Michigan. I’m at work right now and will be here till 3:30 which means I am going to be going nuts that entire time. My work doesn’t know I am having this surgery and I keep worrying they are going to find out and let go of me. I’m only a temp so the place that picked me up doesn’t necessarily have to keep me on just the Temp place does which doesn’t guarantee I will have a job. I told them I am having a hernia repaired. Don’t even ask me how I plan to explain all the weight loss. I feel really bad for lying to them because they are great people but I just really need this job right now and I don’t think they would understand.

 

I feel very odd right now. I’m sitting here at my desk and part of my brain is freaking out but the majority of me is just letting things happen as they come which is really very NOT like me. I’m not all that worried about dying though it does scare me that in my head I can imagine myself dead far better then I can imagine myself skinny. One of the girls on OH showed how she is a size zero and all I could think of is that I will never be that skinny, EVER. I’m really worried I am going to drop 100 pounds and that will still leave me at 170 which for my height of all 5’3.5” is still a LOT of weight.

 

I know its going to take time and I know its going to be hard I’m willing to put up the fight as long as I can see the benefits.

 

I really wish I could explain how I feel right now, its almost like a type of disinterest. Like if I am not going to be interested in what’s about to happen it’ll go away.. or something like that.

 

This is the first time in almost 2 years that my boyfriend and I have ever been this far away from each other and for such a long period of time (all of ten days). He was getting all teary eyed last night saying that he is going to miss me, he is by far the sweetest guy I know.

 

I don’t think I packed enough pants L and I’m not sure if I remembered the deodorant or not… too late now I guess. On the plus side I do get to stay at a Hilton which I heard was really nice. I’m bringing with me the protein powder for after the surgery and that stuff is disgusting! Oh and did I mention the protein is a white powdery substance… I hope the people at the airport don’t freak out or anything. I put the sticker from the canister onto the plastic baggy so I shouldn’t have any problems…. I hope. I’m taking my digital camera, my web cam, my lap top, my Nintendo DS, and my Ipod. I should be pretty set as far as keeping me entertained in the hotel.

 

I only got 4 hours of sleep last night so of course I am now exhausted (boyfriend and I were up doing the last “dance” till I get back). I’m hoping getting into the hotel this will help me fall asleep right away. The time difference is only an hour so it shouldn’t be too bad.

 

Unfortunately I really don’t have anything to write about I’m just rambling on because I want this day to go by SUPER fast. Sadly its only been about 15 minutes since I started typing this thing.

 

More to come later!

That's all…

Just checking out this store called Buckle online my friend Angie told
me about and they have just the most awesome looking stuff.. super
expensive too but still just awesome looking shirts!

I was trying to think of a way to explain to someone who has been
skinny for all their life what its like to be fat and then know you
will be skinny in a year or less. And I think I have it… To all skinny
people who have been skinny all their life! Imagine you are a giraffe
(yes a giraffe) you can see yourself eating from the trees walking on
four legs swishing your tail back and forth in the breeze hanging out
with other giraffes right? But can you really know what its like to be
a giraffe, no, you can't. Well that's what its like for me thinking
about being thin. I can imagine it I can see myself doing things
skinny but I have never actually been skinny so I don't know what its
like. But MAN I CAN'T WAIT!

I don't know if that is a weird analogy or what but that's how I see
it. (Feel free to pick your own random animal).

So once again I am a little calmer today I'm not sure why maybe its
just because I lost some weight even though yesterday I ate like a pig
broke all the rules about not having chocolate or soda. But oh well a
little off is still good. I'd really like to get down like 5 pounds or
more if possible before surgery. I'm not taking my low carb chocolate
slimfast shakes for breakfast and I was kinda hoping I could just deal
with it and have it for dinner too. Unfortunately they brought back
peanut butter pretzels and Twizlers to work so I am not snacking. From
right now on I am going to try and stop and not eat any more snacks
either. It felt good looking at the scale and seeing a couple numbers
drop. Now if I could just have that everyday… all in due time I guess.

I did practice my chewing though so that was good I still have to be
completely conscious of how many times I am chewing my food though its
not coming naturally at all to me. My skin is braking out and my hair
is falling out I think from the stress. Geoff and I packed a bit last
night, well really he did most of the packing and cleaning while my
tummy was upset and I was in the bathroom.  We have to super pack
this weekend an super clean otherwise the place is never going to be
ready for when I come back and we need to move.

Slowly but surely we will get there… I hope!

I keep asking myself if I am really ready for this surgery and frankly
I have NO idea. I have all the materials ready I know what I am
supposed to eat for the most part (still not exactly sure what foods
for how many weeks but I have it written down.) It is just so crazy
for me to think that this time next week I will be in Michigan getting
prepped and prepared for the surgery! SUPER SCARY!!!

Okay so I just called up Jo At Dr. Pleatmans office again. She wasn't
very happy to hear from me because she is busy but oh well. I have a
consultation with the dietician and Dr. Pleatman on the 11th at 1:30pm
and I have to be at the Hospital (POH) at 9am because my surgery is
scheduled for 11am.

I still need to print out the itinerary for my flight stuff on the 10th.

Ha you know I was just writing an email to my boyfriend about me being
nervous about surgery and I told him "my god only 6 days till I go
under the knife and start to be come skinny, I wonder if this is what
bands feel like when they get their big break". I mean really I have
never aspired for being famous or anything like that just the basic do
well in school get a good job type of deal and just WOW I am going to
be one of the skinny people!!! I have never been skinny I don't know
what that's like. It seems to me now like I will be a whole new
person. Almost like Since I was born Hungarian I will now be Asian or
something. Its just so strange to me when I think about it. Its like
skinny people are this whole other entity from outer space that I have
never been able to relate to and now I am going to be the alien! I
think all the time about what I would do if I was skinny and what I
would say and how I would act but now that its actually going to
become a possibility its just scary to think about.

I still worry I am going to be ugly skinny. I've seen some pictures
where although the person looks very healthy they seemed prettier with
a  little weight on them. I hope that's not mean I don't mean it to be
just from my perspective.

This whole experience is going to be SOOOO weird! I found a girl who
is close to my height and size and she had the RNY done like I am
about to and I was hoping I get to look something like she does after
all this is over.

I think I am going to have a lot of skin though  which yes is a
downer but hey who knows maybe by the time I get it the cost for the
surgery will go down. Not to mention I don't really want a tummy tuck
until after I have kids cause I heard some pretty horrible things can
happen if you do get pregnant after one.

OMG a WEEK!!!!

One week and I will be having surgery!!! Okay so really it's a week
and like a day but only a week until I fly out to Michigan. I'm
starting to freak out a little again. Geoff and I are supposed to be
packing every night but we never do. I really don't think we are going
to be ready to move when the time comes. Not unless by some miracle he
decides to pack everything and clean everything while I am gone… which
I just don't see happening. I haven't heard back from Mike if john is
going to be helping us out or what. I haven't heard back if he is
going to be helping us out.

I keep eating crap which is horrible and I'm not surprisingly not
losing any weight. God every time I think about what I am about to put
my self through my heart speeds ups. Angie (my best friend) and I went
up to FSU over the weekend and we jumped into Ross to look around at
stuff and in the store she was telling me about a store called Buckle
that has really expensive designer jeans that are supposed to make
your ass look great so we shook hands and agreed that when I get
skinny (pretty much all the way down) we are both going to go shopping
there. I can't wait to actually be going shopping with her and we can
check out the same stores and go into the dressing rooms and try on
clothes together instead of either one of us waiting on the outside
because its not the right size store.

Speaking of FSU, I WANT TO GO THERE!!! I want to go to grad school now
so bad. After checking out the campus and realizing how much I am
going to miss Angie it really got to me. I wish I made better grades
through out college and I wish I took the GRE. I mean I can probably
do all that stuff now but then there is still the expense of grad
school and then moving up there IFF they accept me. I would want to
get into their criminology program but I have been too chicken to even
check out their requirements.

Pretty much no matter what I am going to be a year behind Angie
regardless or hell probably more than that because I don't think I
could take on a full semesters worth of work and keep working full
time. *sigh*

Oh and yeah I am also deathly nervous that after this surgery I start
losing weight and my work is going to get all suspicious wondering
what the hell is happening to me.

One thing to make this all the more realistic is that POH Pontiac
________ Hospital left a message on my phone about pre-op testing. I'm
not sure what all they want probably to just make sure I am in there a
certain time and to not eat or drink anything. I HOPE!

I saw this one girls picture up on OH and she looked like the shape I
was and the after picture of her was just like OMG!!! SO PRETTY!!! I
told Geoff I really hope I get to look like her after the surgery.

Okay so that was POH that just called. They gave me basic instructions
and asked the basic questions which was how tall, do you smoke, weight
etc. I am supposed to wash myself in antibacterial soap the night
before or the morning of surgery. No polish, no makeup, no valuables,
just pack a small bag. I got their address for directions and I should
be set now… I hope.

I really have to re-read the instructions my doc gave for before and
after the surgery. I know I should be reading that like once a day
just to make sure I have everything down in my head.

I am so restless my mind is in a million different places at once. I'm
at work on top of it all so I don't have much of an outlet that I can
just keep myself busy with. The work that I do involves a desk and
that's about it.