Brenda C.

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I just found out that I will be celebrating my Birthday in Canada  Woot, Woot, EH!  Living in the Pacific Northwest almost five years now, I have been to Canada twice, and strangely, it has been for my Birthday!  Maybe there are Cosmic Forces aiming me toward Canada???  Maybe next year those forces could aim me at, say, New Zealand, Fiji, or even Hawaii???

Today, it is rainy, but I am having an interesting afternoon with the wildlife.  Birds squawking, chirping, warbling, and a squirrel skittering around my front room window.  Making my cats very interested in the great outdoors!  I keep wondering how much longer I can keep my bird feeders out - as the weather just has not been "summer-like" this year.  Thinking of the coming winter months, I feel the urge to actually chop wood.  Having had a 80 foot fir brought down in my front yard, I have rounds to do with as I will - why not have some fun with it?  Exercise, possibly a commodity I can cash in on, and makes me feel vital.

Saturday is the big Walk From Obesity - it is supposed to rain, but you can never believe the weather reports!  Today, it was supposed to be maybe 30 percent chance of rain, then it was 70 percent, it started raining around 1:30pm - ha ha!  The rain wasn't supposed to be here until tomorrow, but now, it looks like it is a day early.  At least if the rain comes on Saturday, there will be little chance of overheating!  See, I can have a positive outlook!

The scale is being rude to me.  Two weeks ago, I gained, one week ago - a big loss.  This week another gain, I wonder if it is merely how I am standing on the damn scale -- I will test my theory on Tuesday!  I'll weigh twice, without the nurse, so I can test my theory!  So I am plus or minus 444 - I sort of like that number.  Dunno.  I remember 202 standing out to me, and although this current weight is scary high, it is still an interesting number.  Oh, I am incorrect, I see the surgeon on Monday - so THAT is when I will test my theory!

My attitude is definitely starting to feel like I may never get a surgery date.  Hopefully, Monday, I will actually hear some news, as I just am starting feel like it's just never going to happen.  Having gotten my mindset ready for surgery back last December ('09), I have gone through many emotions.  I am starting to think if this surgeon doesn't give me a date, I may just put this "journey" on the back burner.  I will be in Hawaii all of February, so if my surgery doesn't happen by November, I will just postpone until mid 2011... I guess.  My eating is still going well - another reason I am questioning the scale.  I have been so aware of my eating, it blows my mind that I have had two weigh ins where I gained.  Oh well, more to ponder.

B  : )~

For anyone who has read my ramblings, I doubt the subject of PooP is going to shack anyone... I went SIX days, yes, six without relief.  UGH.  I had luckily seen my doc - the Primary one, not the surgeon - so she was concerned with my dilemma.

Having a long familial history of Thyroid Disease, it is not unheard of in my family to be a little constipated.  I have been a great believer in fiber, water, and LOTS of activity, as all these should keep one regular.  Nothing was working.  Doctor Fleming was concerned, she knows I take daily stool softeners, am great with water, and a good diet, so she suggested Fiber One Cereal.  I bought two boxes.

Fiber One Cereal is a product of General Mills, and if munched through the day, it has only 60 calories and over a third of the recommended fiber -- all in a half a cup.  Oh, and it tastes pretty good!  I got the "Original" flavor, as it had the most fiber and least calories.  Two grams of protein, pretty cool.  I'll let you all know how it works ;)

Saw my doctor on Thursday, she is fabulous!  We talked about all my issues, drew blood, made recommendations, and get this -- CALLED ME PERSONALLY on Friday!  Dang!  My blood work looked real good.  Told me to go back down to the 250 mcg of Levothyroxin - was up to 275 mcg when my last blood test showed I was needing a "little more". It probably explains the last two periods lasting two weeks - aha!  I got some "drugs" for my ankle - and I promised to not abuse them.  She asked what was going on with my surgery plans, so told her I see the surgeon on the 20th of this month.  She offered to write a letter to Dr Hunter - hope it shows I will be a good patient.  She also is worried about the Walk From Obesity coming on Saturday.  I told her I promise NOT to push myself, that I will stop if it hurts.

Wow, Summer is already over, and it never really felt like it ever started...
B  : )~

I am registered to Walk From Obesity, and looking for donations -- if you feel like tossing a couple bucks to the resaerch - here is the link:  (If the link isn't working - would not for me - copy & paste to a new tab)

http://walkfromobesity.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=432526&lis=1&kntae432526=63151E9D71FB4178A0E5467E313DE567&supId=302899175

Just add to Brenda Carroll -- and I promise to Thank ALL Donors!!!

The Walk is September 18th, 2010 in Federal Way, Washington.  My Group is South Puget Sound (SPS), so far we have 4 Walkers ;)

On the Weigh In Front:  Thirty Pounds LOST... Pushing for another ten before surgery.

B  : )~

As I sit here drinking my coffee (yup, typical for Seattle!), I realize I am dehydrating myself.  More water - not flavored, not ice tea - my body needs more water.  I had two weeks of good weigh ins, then I realized yesterday, that I had allowed my water consumption to fall a bit.

When I have heard the basics of "how much water should a person consume, daily" I laugh a little -- Guess I need to swap my 40 oz bottle for a gallon jug!  One is supposed to drink half their weight in  ounces - that is a scary number!  Then, I realize after surgery you are not supposed to drink with meals, I still like to drink a large glass of water before I eat.  Some studies have shown it does assist in weight loss.

Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink... Sounds a lot like Seattle & the Barista Shacks on every corner!  With that, I am going to fill my water jug, now!

B  : )~

Wow.  One day it is high 80's, next (literally!) it is barely 61 degrees, I am stumped.  Aug-uary???

I haven't really been getting my walks in, swam only a little bit, I am feeling the blahs.   I am going to point the finger of "self responsibility" at the weather!  Hahaha!  It isn't my fault. it's the crappy weather... So far this summer, Seattle Washington has seen I think 6 days over 90 degrees - 3 days one week, then another 3 days a different week -- all separated by weird gloomy weather.  My plants are way confused, I think I now know why they sell hydroponics up here -- not just for the weed growers!

I caught myself yesterday trying to justify a fast food burger, ugh.  I ate it, only the burger, but I just broke an almost three week abstinence from fast food.  Bummer.  In the past, I was on a supervised fast - 650 calories - a soy shake diet.  What I would do when I wanted to "Cheat," I would figure out what I wanted, and did the math -- "Hmmm, two shakes would be 260 calories, I can have a beer instead..."  So, when I was in the group therapy sessions, I would announce a "planned" cheat, which got me into trouble with the therapist!  Then all the other members in the group would announce their "Brenda-ism" saying they too, had a Planned Cheat... Trust me, I ended up pissing off the therapist, but became the champion of the other fatties - not something I should be proud of, but...  I have to really examine why I was behaving that way - defiant - and make sure I have gotten it under control.  The 300 calories of that plain burger should not take the place of two shakes, but it did, and I admitted it in my Food Journal.

Focus, Brenda, focus!  Having gotten a date to meet with the surgeon, I need to stay the course and show how compliant I am.  No time to start screwing around, that liquid pre-surgical diet is coming, so better to get rid of thoughts that are counter productive.  Today, I am back on track.  I will not justify bad behavior, even though I got the nickname "Senator Carroll" for that very reason.  The Senator from the Evergreen State approaches the podium, "I am not a CHEAT!"

Exercise, yup, that's what I think I need.  Hmm, less typing, more movement!
B  : )~

I guess I should have paid more attention when I heard, "It's harder to lose weight as we age..."  Grrrr!  Keeping the food journal, my worst cheat day was 1635 calories, my best 865 calories.  Staying away from wheat/grain carbs, indulging in veggie & fruit carbs, and getting great protein & water consumption.  So damn slow, that scale is just sticking it's tongue out at me.

Kinda threw some weight around at the doctors office, ha ha!  Karen, the nurse who has been weighing me all these weeks, actually considered my behavior, took me to the surgeons scheduler, and got me a consult with the surgeon - yeah!  September 20, three days before my birthday, and HOPEFULLY a surgical date in this YEAR!  My BMI had the scheduler concerned, but damn it!  I am compliant!  To hedge my bets, I will ask my primary doc to send over a letter!  Couldn't hurt, could it?

I have close to a month to drop another 27 pounds, so I guess it is back to the old grind stone!
B  : )~

Out with friends on Sunday, the subject of, "Where's the closest 7 Eleven around here?  I think it's Slurpee time!"  So I get all excited, thinking I can drink Crystal Light - next to NO calories... So we all head to 7 Eleven.

Jeff asked me on our second trip this week, in search of other Crystal Light Slurpee flavors, "So how many calories are in Crystal Light Slurpees?"  "Oh, I am thinking about 20 or 40 calories, similar to the drink..."

I decided to look up the calories, and SHOCKINGLY Crystal Light Slurpees are about the SAME calories as a NON-diet Slurpee!!!  Okay, can I sue for false advertisement???  EVIL SLURPEE PUSHERS!!!

Do NOT be fooled, I feel stupid assuming I was getting a diet drink :(

B : )~

OH is doing a childhood obesity survey, and would like lots of feedback.  Please pass it on, and fill it out.

Brenda  : )~

http://bit.ly/dygwy3

Four pounds, that is the amount I have lost in a week.  For many it would be a jubilant moment, but I am just barely able to celebrate.  My total loss since March is 21 pounds, I still need another 13 pounds before I can ask to schedule an appointment with the surgeon, so I feel a little low.  So many reasons could be behind the slow loss, I just feel like I am becoming too obsessed, and don't know what I need at this point.

I am keeping journals for food & exercise, and from the math, I should be seeing better numbers.  I am careful to consume veggie & fruit carbs, along with very lean meat and protein powder.  I am reading so many labels, checking charts, I think I need to breathe deeply and relax.

Medically, I am having an odd occurrence with my menses.  Last month, it lasted 13 or 14 days, this month, I am currently on day 8, with little sign of it tapering off.  I am curious if this has anything to do with my trying to lose weight.  Are my hormones going insane?  I have next to nil sex drive, so if the hormones are freaking out, why isn't it causing hyper sexual behavior?  I am starting to sound like some mad scientist... ugh!

It is probably a good thing I do not have access to a centrifuge, or I probably would start drawing blood, and putting it under a microscope!  Man, what makes me do all this?  What ever happened to the "Don't worry, be happy" girl I used to be?!

The weather is cooling, which for another odd thing -- we had 3 days of over 90 -- I was not all that phased by it...  When others were panting and complaining, I was "Oh boy!  I want to lay in the sun!"  Which, I did for a short time - don't want to worry over skin cancer!  I will pull my big girl shorts up, don my faux candy necklace (I just made & really think is so cute!), and smile as I spend my day -- being POSITIVE!  Chins up, fat girl!  It is good health you seek!

B : )~

Silly I know, but I love celery.  It is a combination of the crunch and the sodium.  Carrots are great, but just not the same as celery!  Crunch, crunch, crunch, I am happily munching on my late afternoon snack...

B  : )~