Sunkissedsgrho
Pre-op Appointment!!
May 19, 2011
So I had my pre op appt yesterday. I had to answer the medical history and do an EKG and surgery prep type of stuff. I had to pee in a cup. SIDENOTE (TMI): Why don't they have some easier way for OBESE women to pee in a cup! THAT was sooo difficult! OMG! Can't wait for that one to be a NSV! LOLAnyway, as I walked back to my truck with my surgery instructions, it hit me: I'M HAVING SURGERY!!!
Ya'll, this thing just got real. In LESS than a week, I will voluntarily have the majority of my stomach removed. WTH!?!?
So, I'm having a 'panic moment' and I'm obsessing over alllllllllllllllllllll of the foods I looooooooooooooooove to eat. (I won't torture myself by listing them...
) Quite naturally, I am wondering if this will be worth it. Well, I can answer this question. I KNOW IT WILL BE WORTH IT! I'm just scared! 
OH Family, I've come to realize what my biggest fear is. It's not the surgery or the pain or not being able to eat the foods I've come to love. IT'S FAILURE!
What if I fail? This scares me so badly. People, myself included, use excuse after excuse as to why we can't lose weight. Well, this surgery will end ALL of my excuses. I won't have anything or anyone else to blame but ME. It's easy to fail when there are contributing factors such as friends and family and your general environment....but when all of that has been removed, and all you have to blame is yourself, it becomes a different story. I DON'T WANT TO FAIL.... As I lurk and read the posts on this board, I know that it is possible to lose the weight. You all are living proof that I can do this. I am so amazed at how you all have transformed your bodies. You are so motivational, and when I see before and after pics, my heart just smiles!
It's just that the closer I get to May 25th, the more nervous I get! But I'm excited! I'm excited over the fact that in about 6 months, I WILL be over 100lbs down. I will be able to post NSVs on this forum. My students will refer to me as the incredible shrinking teacher! I will have control over my portions. I will exercise daily and commit to making this sleeve work for me!
Failure is not an option, (especially since I'm paying cash!) and I will succeed! I've just got to keep telling myself these things. Faith is the substance of things HOPED for and the evidence of things that aren't seen. I can't physically see myself at my goal weight, but I have FAITH that I will get there! Fear or no fear, I WILL GET THERE! 
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About Me
LA
Location
49.4
BMI
Surgery
05/25/2011
Surgery Date
Mar 10, 2011
Member Since
