utleysmom

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Coording the testing for 700 middle school kids is a job.  It takes a lot of time and effort to get it all done.  I expect the overload and anticipate it every year.  The last 6 weeks of school, I know I will be chained to my desk and office for about 12 hours a day and I know I will have to work some on the weekends.  When it's all over, I am dog tired, but I feel a real sense accomplishment.  This year something is different.  I resent it all.  I don't want to be in my office working non-stop.  Being heavier, I was happy being sedentary, hiding behind my desk, mentally exhausting myself.  Now, I would rather go to the beach, take a walk, play with my dogs, sit on the patio and chat with my husband.  I want more enjoyment.  I want to be more active.  I can't stand to sit still and think.  I don't know if there is a correlation, but I really think my 65 lb. weight loss has caused this this change of heart.  Things that make you go hmmmmm....  I need to see a bariatric psychiatrist.  No such luck around here.  June 16 is the end of my year and I will have 2 months to enjoy the new me.  I can't wait.

At last!  I'm under 200.  60 lbs gone!  I've not weighed less than 200 in about 15 years.  It feels good.  The scales didn't move for so long.  I was beginning to get really frustrated; especially when I got the $38,000 hospital bill (thank God for insurance) and I was not loosing any weight.  Clothes are an issue now.  I can't wear anything in my closets.  My waist is the biggest part of my body so all my pants were bought to fit my waist.  Of course, now they slide right on down past my hips.  I've bought a couple of things, but I want so much more.  I won't buy anything because I know I will "undergrow" (instead of outgrow) them in a couple of months.  I've not officially measured, but I'm loosing inches too.  I am so glad I made this decision.  It has really been the best thing I've done for myself in a long time.  Can't wait for more!   

Sleeping 7 hours a night
Getting my 64 oz without feeling like a tick about to pop
Doing my mile at 6 am.  Goal:  2 miles by June 2
Not forgetting my vitamins.
Scallops with my own homemade cocktail sauce.
Refried beans with cheeze!
Sugar free popsicles.
Chicken with good old North Carolina vinegar based barbeque sauce...SMACK!
A satisfying BM in the AM.
A great husband who loves and supports me no matter what!
Adapting relatively easy to this new lifestyle.
The scales going down for the first time in 18 days...WOO HOO!
Loosing 2 more lbs.
Shopping in the regular sizes.  I bought Petite Extra Large elasitic waist pants!
No Blood pressure pill.
Life...right now.

On a lighter note from my last post...

I went back to work this week on April 20th.  The last day I worked was April 1.  I had lost 37 lbs.  before I surgery and when I returned to work I was down about 15 more.  I wanted people to notice.  I wanted the "who's that girl effect"  I bought new clothes, fixed my hair differently, and I wore make-up.  Well everyone noticed, but I was soooo uncomfortable with the attention.  I got lots of compliments and two people actually wanted to know who I was.  They saw me at a distance and did not recognize me.  I am more of a behind the scenes person.  Although uncomfortable, it felt great for people to comment on my transformation.  Now I am ready to quietly fade into the background.  I function better there.       

The scale has not moved once since last Friday.  I weighed 209 at the doctor's and I still weigh 209.  I am also very bloated.  I think I'm constipated.  Even though I went a little this morning, I am hurting in my lower abdomen and I feel so full.  I am getting my protein and my water.  I am very limited in what I can eat.  Cheese is one of my main sources of protein.  I knew it would bunge me up.  I finally took some MOM tonight.  But, I am actually scared it will not work.  I'm scared to take the stuff, but I need relief.  I also know that you can't loose any weight of you keep filling up without letting any out.  I hate this.  One problem to the next.  I know this is normal and I expected it.  Just not so soon.  It's so very frustrating.    

I've been having a hard time with smells and tastes.  Everything makes me a little queasy.  My husband got me some iced water in a paper cup from a gas station one day.  I took a couple of sips.  I couldn't drink it.  He wanted to know why.  I told him  that I could taste and smell the cup.  It stunk and tasted bad.  Then he got me a bottled water.  I took a couple of sips of that and couldn't drink it either.  Again he wanted to know why.  I had to tell him that I could taste and smell the bottle.  It also stunk and tasted bad.  So when he saw me picking at an egg I was having for breakfast, he wanted to know if it smelled and tasted like the shell.  We had a good laugh over that one.     

I weigh less than my husband for the first time in many years!  WOW!

I hate this.  I am not bouncing back like I thought I would.  I can walk some.  I can ride some.  But it makes me so tired.  I even get worn out taking a shower and doing my hair.  It takes me twice as long to do something now.  I have to sit and rest before I can finish anything.  I want to push myself because I think it would be better for me to do more.  But, I am told to be patient with myself and take it little by little.  My butt is hurting from sitting so much.  I also have 5 more days of protein shakes.  I really am getting tired of that.  If I don't get to taste something soon, I'm going to go crazy.  On the upside, I've lost 10 lbs in 10 days.  Gotta love it!  I weigh 212 lbs right now.  That's the least in probably 15 years.  I have my first dr. visit on Friday.  I pray that I make until then.          

Well...I did it.  As they say, I went under the knife last Thursday.  With all the cameras and robotics, do they even use knives anymore?  Who knows these days?  I was in good spirits, but a little nervous and panicky when we left home for the hospital.  I cried a little because I was not looking forward to surgery or recovery.  I was scared I would break down completely before I could get some good drugs in me.  I held on except for a few more tears I shed when they wheeled me away from my husband. I even got through the insertion of the garden hose IV in my right hand without a scene.  I have a REAL BAD needle phobia.  My surgeon said surgery went as expected.  I vaguely remember being nauseous from the anastesia, but I think they remedied that.  I did have to spend 1 whole day in the post anesthesia care unit because no post surgery rooms were available.  That was a real drag.  It's a big open area and you are seperated from others in the unit by curtain only.  It's not private at all and you only get visitors every odd hour for 15 minutes.  I was really pissed off about that.  I let them know it too.  When rooms did become available, I was the first to go.  They were sick of hearing me fuss.  Other than that my care was excellent.  I did have pain of course, but I felt ok.  By Friday afternoon, I was drinking my 2 oz of water an hour and I drank 2 oz of protein shake.  They let me go home Saturday morning.  That's when the fun began.

We had a 1 hour ride from the hospital and we were home by 12:30.  I decided to take a nap (pain meds kicking in).  I got up at 3:00 and felt a little strange.  Hoping to feel better, I took a shower, drank some water, and walked a little.  By 4:00, I had the worse nausea I have ever felt.  It was deep in the pit of my stomach and nothing relieved it.  Every hour or 2, I would dry heave.  Great when you have just had your guts rearranged.  Heaving made the pain in my side much worse.  I could not drink anything and I could not get any pain medicine in me.  We called the on-call dr. at the hospital (per my discharge instructions)  He said I may have overdone it and drank too much water too fast.  He me to just rest and slow down.  I was not better on Sunday so we called again to get something for nausea.  He told us to come back to the ER.  Great...a 1 hour ride when all you want to do is puke your guts out.  The admitted me.  I was told I had overdone it a little and that I was reacting negatively to the swelling that comes from surgery.  Some people can handle it and some can't.  I obviously can not. Fluids, pain meds, nausea meds, and several other bags of stuff I can't remember helped to get me back on track.  I was home again on Tuesday morning.  Yippiee!

I would say it was not a good experience for me just because I felt so bad on Sunday.  It was totally horrible.  I'm not second guessing my decision, I would just not do this again...right now.  I feel a little traumatized.  I'm glad it's over and I'm on to recovery.            

April 2, 2009 will be the first day of the rest of my life.  I check in at 8:30 AM tomorrow.  I don't know exactly what time my surgery will be, but I'm ready.  I'm a little panicky and edgy tonight.  I hope it will go away.  I have faith in God.  I know as long as I'm his hands, it really does not matter whose hands are in me.  I do have peach of mind as far as everything going well.  I wish an uneventful surgery, a peaceful recovery, and a fun and successful journey to all my April 2 buddies...and everyone else out there who is on this amazing journey.  I am so glad to have the OH "team"   I could not do this without the people that have been so kind and helpful.  I'm awe-struck by all the support I've recieved.  Next time I update this blog, I will be a new person.  My stats tonight:

wt. - 224
ht. - 5"2'
waist - 49 inches
bust - 50 inches    
hips - 48 inches
calf - 17 inches
neck 17 inches

Here's to me and my new life!