Lisa J.

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Well, nothing has changed much since my last post. I am still living a normal life, not over-doing anything foodwise, and I am still losing. One to two pounds every couple weeks or so--fine with me. I can't afford the huge losses so quickly anymore anyway, right? I'm totally loving being a girly girl on occasion. I love to shop, always have, but it's sure more fun and satisfying these days.

I am hovering around 164 the last couple weeks. Brings me down to a size10/11, which once again, totally blows me away. I have to concentrate on getting a sexy, confident walk. I've always been a fast walker but now I find myself wanting to stand taller and use what I have. I've always been confident but now it's almost ridiculous! I do recognize myself in the mirror and it's familiar now, but still kind of a "what the hell?" kind of feeling. Like, I know it's me, I know I'm smaller and I LOVE everything about it so far, but still I can't sometimes believe it. And so I want to work it a little more.  It just shows you how much maturity and genetics play into your adult life as opposed to a particular weight at a certain age.

When I was 19 I weighed about 145. I lost about 20lbs pretty quickly working hard with horses at the racetrack (7 days a week). I was fit. I could barely fit into a size 13 jeans at the time. I wasn't over muscle-y, just solid. I have no 'built' muscles, just normal muscle mass now at age 53. I weigh 164 and can comfortably wear Jr's size 11 or women's 10s. Now, we've all had the convo that "sizes have changed" and perhaps they have. Maybe these 10/11s are really 12/13s. I'm still happy with that then, because I look forward to another size change downward.

Food still isn't very much on my radar--except when I'm at work. I have periods of extreme boredom and when I'm bored, I want to eat. So I keep jerky, peanut butter, cream cheese and some crackers, veggies with thick veggie ranch dip on hand. It doesn't take long to feel full, if not satisfied, but it gives my mouth something to do besides talk. I maintain another blog so that helps somewhat with the boredom. Nothing is tasting as tasty as I remember it being. I don't use salt now. I used to salt stuff BEFORE I even tasted it!! Can you imagine? I haven't had more than a bite of bread in over 19 months. I still eat crackers when I want that carby fix. Besides, gotta scoop up that cream cheese with something, right? Yeah yeah, it should be a carrot. Whatever. I'll take the veggies when I can. I am still getting in my 1000s of 1000s of ounces of water in every day--ha ha, never been an issue. It's funny though how some days I can hardly pee but a couple times a day and others it seems like it's all I do, and yet I would never think I'm dehydrated. ? Never feel crappy or weak or any of those signs.

I am cold pretty much all the time, or at least comfortable and not sweating. However, it's hard to continue to try to wear sandals and girly shoes with cold feet!! Tonight I am going out and am dressed for it now at work, except for my shoes. I'm wearing shoes that are covering up my feet--they are cold! Freezing! I am wearing a jacket in a 76* office. It often feels good to greet the parking lot and my truck at 5pm and 100*! Well, for a minute anyway. It won't be long before I'm back to wearing socks to bed. Geesh, what happened to summer???

I am still getting looks and compliments and lots and lots of encouragement and one of my coworkers is on the sleeve bandwagon. She's excited because she's got enough cash to do it. She had no idea it was 'cheap'. She figured it was $25k like the gastric bypass is. Best BEST thing I ever did for myself and I will always talk about it and encourage people to at least attend a seminar, get some of those fears and questions addressed and answered.

Looking forward to a 3 day weekend--doing nothing. Love it!

Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted since February! Time flies huh?

Well, here I am only 2 lbs down from that Feb posting. It is absolutely my own fault. I let tasty carbs back into my life. Not a lot and not all the time, but I did it and that has caused me to maintain within a 5 lb range all this time. I never got higher than 179 and never lower than 174. Well, on the one hand it's nice to know that with being "normal" with my eating, I can maintain it. It's also amazing that for the FIRST time in my life I can tell and am completely aware of a 5 lb gain!

I used to roll my eyes at the little thin friends of mine who at a whopping 110 would of course exclaim "oh MAN I have to lose 5lbs" or 10 lbs....But never knowing it physically was entirely a new subject.

I was never one of those women who gained water weight during my Aunt Flo time, and could never tell the difference in my clothes. And I wasn't huge back then, around 140lbs. But I was heavier than my classmates, and some by a long shot. Looking back I certainly wasn't fat. I never was made to feel 'fat' by my peers but I knew I was heavier. Like, duh, right? I wasn't even a fat child! Slightly chubby in a few spurts.

Then when I left home and went to work with racehorses I lost about 25 lbs real fast and started being noticed a hell of a lot differently than before. But actually, perhaps it was also because I was also a couple years older and not all my friends were my age, most of them older.

Anyway, I digress. My weakness is pasta and although I've managed somehow to stay away from bread in a year, I cannot stay completely away from crackers! I know, same difference, although with crackers they are more of a slider than bread, obviously, due to the density. And then I justify it by eating it with cheese, so I'm getting my real protein in. And granted with the VSG, you can eat these things, but thankfully not very many of them.

And truly, I AM NOT HUNGRY. EVER. It is all in my head. Always. And when I'm bored I do eat, I do know that about myself. So consequently on the weekends I don't eat very much, which is also not good but that's when I notice the lower fluctuation. I am a receptionist so I talk on the phone a lot, and 99% of the time have hard candies on hand to keep up with the dry mouth. I do drink a TON of water (or crystal lite) so getting the fluids have never been an issue. I haven't resorted to potatoes and dang if the white corn isn't looking might tasty at the market these days.....but I do treat myself to a NSA Klondike bar several nights a week and a bite of pasta here and there. I can't quote the calories and the carbs right now but they are VERY satisfying and not over the top.

I also started drinking about once a week with friends, and my latest beverage of choice is White Russians. I use 2% milk so at least I'm getting protein and not just straight alcohol/sugar. Yes, I'm sure it could be worse, but that's what I want right now! Wine doesn't taste good anymore and obviously beer is out. So instead of just going with the straight full on sugary fruity drinks. Justifying right? Yep.

So the bottom line is this: GET BACK ON THE WAGON!

I did, just started on Saturday. I'm down 2 lbs so we'll see if it continues. I'm back to basics this week and we'll see if I can push this stall on out of my way. I really would like to get down to 160 (which would be a 100 lb loss) to re-evaluate to see if I want to/can get down to 135. And again, 135 just sounds like a good weight, I have no idea what the BMI is at that weight or if I'll even like me at that weight. I am comfortable at size 13 pants and L tops (busty) and could totally enjoy the rest of my life like this, but I do want to try and ride racehorses again and if that's gonna happen, then I have to get down to 135. So we'll see if I can do it.

My year anniversary is Thursday, May 27, and I will be attending my first support group meeting in a couple months, even though I do faithfully come here to OH daily. Even if I am happy with myself and content with my success, I will be happy to share my story with newbies!


 

It took awhile but I finally got down to 176 this morning! I was pretty sure a big drop was coming since I weighed between 180 - 186 for the last two weeks, fluctuating like crazy. Then this week I was 180 two days in a row. This morning 176 and I'm loving it! My entire weight loss has been a fluctuation like this, which I can certainly live with. I did up my protein the last week and it surely paid off.

Today I am buying a new pair of western boots, lime green ostrich(or some other weird leather) and I've NEVER spent this kinda cash on ANYTHING (that wasn't technology) and so I'm really going to enjoy them. I saw them at Christmas time, thinking they were a close-out and that I missed out..but they're still in stock here at Sheplers and I'm leaving after work to pick them up. Present to me. I don't like pointy or square toes and I like low Roper style heels so finding these boots in MY color is a treat and a half. True, they won't be as versatile as black or navy, or even brown, but lime is my color. I must have them.

This is my celebration.

I am making another round through my closet to rid myself of more clothes that don't fit. I will take them to the Goodwill in Edmond and then make a stop at my favorite retail store, Steinmart and see what goodies I can pick up for a song. Then onto Academy Sports to get a new pair of Wranglers, they have the cheapest ones in town, as the 18 year old "new" pair I've got on simply don't fit my butt and legs anymore. Think it's time to upgrade!!

I'm loving this sleeve!

Whew! Finally broke that 180 plateau.

I have been fluctuating between 181 and 186 forEVER it seems, at least a month. I can't really see anything I did differently, but here we are, finally below 180 and I love it.

I get juiced everytime I am at a decent weight in the evening because I know that I'll be a couple lbs lighter than that in the a.m. And yes, I do weight at least twice a day, and it doesn't scare me; rather it entices me to keep on with the plan. It's really odd to watch your body fluctuate daily. For a person doing everything they can do avoid the scales that last 20 some years, I am all for getting on that thing as much as possible!

I'm not losing as fast as I'd like, I don't think, but maybe this slower lesson is actually better for me since I can have a little longer to adjust to changes and clothing sizes. I am fresh out of new 'hand-me-downs' as I've run through my 'smaller-than-me' friends up to this point, but some of the gals at work a several sizes away (MUCH smaller) from me to consider them at this point, but hopefully in a couple of months I can get a try.

It doesn't seem quite fair that I actually had several chewy pieces of chocolate Christmas candy over the weekend and actually lost 3 lbs since last week...but it's true! I didn't get in as much water over the weekend either, but did manage a protein rich couple of meals. That's where it's at.

We had a 3.0 earthquake here early Sunday morning...thought I had dreamt it but remembered it was real. It so totally unaffected me (by being a former West Coaster they are really nothing to me) that I didn't remember it happening til late Sunday night. Probably the only reason I did feel it was because the epicenter was only about 5 miles away. No biggie.

I've been at this weight, and back up a couple pounds for over 2 weeks, but it's fine with me. I don't care! I'm still lower than I've been in 20 years. Works for me.

And soon it will be Christmas and out of town relatives, so I am just not going to sweat it. Period! I know what to do when it gets out of hand, and hopefully it won't get that bad. Seems like everyone is on the down-side of the scale this year so it will be much easier to handle.

Yep, this 188 weight was my first goal, one that I had hoped to get to before my vacation last week. I didn't make it then but the day that I came home I was at goal! I'll take it no matter when it comes.

I was away in Calfornia for two days of the worlds greatest collection of horse racing for the Breeder's Cup. It was held at Santa Anita Park in Arcadia CA for the second straight year. That alone is unprecedented in the BC history. It also was a bone of contention because Santa Anita is a synthetic track that a lot of horsemen (and their horses) don't do well on the surface. Withstanding that, still over 100 horses from all over the world competed and it was again, amazing.

But this is not about horse racing. Not directly. It is about me. And my weight loss. But my vacation was my first since my weight loss and held at a racing venue. So perhaps it is about racing.

I did a lot of walking. Sometimes painful, often bandaged toes. A girl's gotta have her heels, right? I tried to get shoes broken in prior to the trip but only some of them are hurt-free. It's my wonky toes that give me trouble. Anyway, I digress. Lots of walking, I thought I ate a bunch but in retrospect, nothing bad for me (other than some frozen yogurt) and plenty of good stuff. I managed to lose 5 lbs in those 6 days and that blew me away since I'd only been losing about 1-3 per week, per LONG week!! LOL.

I still havent' been hit back by the hunger and I'm hoping I never do.! Doesn't hurt my feelings one little bit. Eating is certainly a chore simply because since I'm not hungry, nothing sounds particularly 'good' or inviting. It's just something I have to do. And I usually go for fast and easy. The bulk of my diet is deli meat, string cheese, hard boiled eggs (or breakfast type eggs), good veggies, tuna and salmon. I do have chicken and steak from time to time if I'm also making dinner for my mom. But I could just eat cold stuff all the time.

I did have a couple bites of oatmeal one morning while out west and it was really, really good! Thinking I might want to start making some of that in the a.m.'s before work. I'm not the microwave lover of oatmeal so it has to be the real preparation. Still only takes a couple minutes. I had a lovely large shrimp coctail one day in the Turf Club and then another fantastic shrimp/seafood cocktail that was more like a soup but then again, not really. Very hard to describe and I think it was called something like a Champeca Cocktail......??? Chunks of calamari, albacore tuna, octopus, shrimp and one other fish (I think) with chopped onion and avocado, in this light base of tomato something that was UNREAL!!!!!!! It was sort of like a soup but obviously loaded down with the chunks of seafood and the nice crunch of onion. and perfectly ripe avocado. I expected it to taste like a salsa type dish but I was wrong. It was such a wonderful blend and since I am not a chef I have no idea how to describe it. But dang it, I wish I could order some right now!!

I drank alcohol a couple of occasions and I never experienced that 'quick buzz' and the 'quick sober' effect that I've seen people comment on here. I had a slight buzz, nothing like before surgery. Still a fair lightweight. Good to know. But I also didn't push it. No reason to.

Was able to chat and laugh with old friends and while the girls were constantly commenting on my weight loss, the men (with the exception of one or two) said NOTHING....which is okay because they never said anything to me about the fat either. I really appreciated it all! I'm sure things were said behind my back (not like I've never done that, right?) and that is perfectly okay with me.

People say "I'm just so proud of you" and it makes me happy to hear it but again, I've absolutely done NOTHING for this to happen, it's all the sleeve!
 
It's all the sleeve. I'm just along for the ride.

I am leaving on my vacation on Wednesday, and while I was hoping to get down to 188 or below, before that, it didn't happen but I'm still just has happy as can be! I have new clothes, my gray roots are gone, I'm STOKED to be going back to CA to visit old friends and see the best horse racing in the WORLD and also spend 4 days with my incredible dad, who made my surgery possible! He hasn't seen me since last Christmas and I truly meant to send him photos of my progression but never got around to it and frankly didn't like any of the photos I had (too grainy or blurry or whatever you get when you're self-photoing) and so it will be much more fun to see him in person and watch that GRIN on his face when he picks me up at the airport! I CANNOT WAIT!

Last time I flew was in April and I had already started my pre-op diet so the extended seat belt wasn't necessary (been there-ain't goin' back) but THIS time I'll actually be able to cross my legs for a change!

I bought the Steve Harvey book, "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" to read on the flight but couldn't stand it and read it last weekend...so bought a John Grisham book for the flight. Steve's book is GREAT. Says it like it is. I'm gonna try his method real soon. Mark my words. LOL.

I'll have some good photos to post when I get back.

Sayonara!

Well, it's now 9 days til I depart for my compact 6 day jaunt to LA for horse racing (the world's BEST, Breeder's Cup at Santa Anita) and to visit old friends.

I am down to 196 and unfortunately, holding. At least I made it down this far, and that's all I could have hoped for or asked for. I have had an emotional drain for the last couple weeks with my mom as well as having my truck in the shop, the fridge need repair and finally, the big pecan tree in the front yard that crashed under the weight of the 2007 ice storm FINALLY got trimmed and prettied up on Saturday. Truck fixed, fridge working well again, I feel like all my current problems are under control. Whew!

I have to say that other than the 5k I did a couple weeks ago here in OKC, I haven't been very motivated to do anything physical, despite my weight loss. The walk was great; weather chilly but perfect, sun out, no wind, walking with friends. But I don't have the desire to walk after work...I have been a 'hibernating bear' for as long as I can remember when the days get cooler and the leaves start to turn and the sun doesn't stay out as long, all I can think about is being at home with the dogs and cats and catching up on TV recorded from when I had no time to watch TV....but this is how I always feel so I'm not worried. I am not depressed, I am just not motivated. Never have been in this season.

My dad will be joining me on the vacation next week in CA and he hasn't seen me since last Christmas and well before surgery. I have been meaning to send him photos as I progress down the scale but frankly, none of them look good enough or feel like they show enough weight loss--taking them myself doesn't lend to a great photo, no matter if I'm trying hard or not!! Arrrggghh. But I think it will be FUN to have him try to figure out who I am as he scans the crowd for someone who might look like me at the airport....plus the fact that I'm having some major hair coloring/weaving done a couple days before! Ha ha ha. This will be a blast!!

I am 8 lbs away from attaining that first major goal of 188lbs that I wanted to try to get to before my trip, but it's the best I can do. I'm still smaller than anticipated and smaller than I was when I visited last year and frankly, that totally works for me! I am wearing size 12 jeans and M-L tops and skirts/dresses (depending on cut and maker etc) and lots of fun high heeled shoes and I hope I get a chance to really show them off next week. I am packed and prepared for anything!

So what? Yes, another stall. I just can't believe that it's been this long since I've truly kept going downwards...since 9/14/2009 I have hovered between 200 and 207, but usually on the lower end. Two days in a row (today and yesterday) I've been 200 exactly (no 'point' anything) and I just really KNOW that 199 is on the horizon! I can taste it! (Pun intended), feel it, see it!

Not doing anything different than before. Feeling pretty cold at work and at home more often now so am piling on clothes and wearing socks again. Dang it. I go to LA in 29 days and hopefully they'll be experiencing their typical fall weather which can be super hot or just super duper. Last year was super hot, like 95* and it was amazing. 80 something would be just fine with me that's for sure. I am SO excited to see my old friends who had to be thinking under their breath when they saw me "OH MY GOD what has she done to herself?" and this year I just know they're going to say "OH MY GOD look what she's done to herself!" 70 pounds gone since they've seen me. I still feel as fat as I did in most regards but slimmer in others. Pants are not fitting well. Either too big in the butt and not big enough in the front or vice versa. Can't be please. Thank god there's still Spandex in a lot of things I wear.

Dad will be picking me up at the airport and he will be stunned. I keep promising to send him photos but truthfully there aren't any I'm particularly loving and I'm never very dolled up at work so there aren't alot of opportunities to have a good photo taken. That's okay. We'll get some when I'm out there and looking as good as I can be.

So I push on, eating protein, getting my water in, walking when I can. Right now mom requires a lot of my time since she's had knee surgery last month and I need to be able to spend quality time with her when I get home so it's all about HER not me. I'm fine. I'll get down to 199 and below before I go. I will not panic. I will not freak out on the boards like I see everyone else doing, I will just accept it (geez, isn't that what I've been doing for the last 3 or so weeks anyway?) and know it will pass.

 

Huh, what a dork I am! I didn't even realize I was in a stall this time! My first post of 203 was 9/14 so obviously, I was in a stall this whole time, maintaining mostly, but doing a little hovering too. But I finally cracked the 203 mark, I think, over this weekend when I got to 202.4 a couple times. This week will tell.

But I know not to panic. It will pass. I read the boards every day and am constantly surprised at all the people who have been at this a hell of a lot longer than me, that freak out and ask everyone "will this pass?" or "is this normal?"  OF COURSE IT'S NORMAL. I know that, we all know that. So we just do what we know is right and carry on with life. Nothing we can do about it. Don't go off the wagon and eat stuff you know you're not supposed to have...even after saying that, one fall off doesn't equal failure. But nothing sounds good enough to 'fall off' for. Really! I truly think my love affair with food is over, once and for all.

I will be monitoring this feeling every day to see if this is truly a done deal with me or just a temporary feeling.