This is just a quick note before I go to work.  First of all, my apologies for the long absence.  I started graduate school.  It was fun, but there was a research class that kicked my butt and ate all my free time.... make that all my time, period.  :-)  I need to get back on track with myself, this site, and most of all, my weight loss.  Thanks to all my patient friends.  Thanks especially to those of you who pm'd me and asked me how I was doing.  I have to get back in the saddle (insert other trite phrases here), and OH is part of that.  More to come.

Blessings to everyone who reads my blog.  I appreciate you.  Happy New Year!

It has been said that inside every fat person is a skinny person trying to get free.  My skinny self is emerging and the fat me is leaving.  Sadly, the fat me is not taking all this extra skin with her.  Oh my goodness, the loose skin is, well, it's like a whole separate entity that lives on top of the rest of me.

I've warned my children that should an earthquake occur, albeit unlikely in this region, that they should not stand near me.  All my extra skin would beat them to death. 

I knew with a beginning BMI of 70 that I was going to have loose skin.  I decided to embrace it and just roll with it, having no other choice but to live with it until I can get plastics and that's a ways down the road yet.  At first, it was encouraging to lose enough weight to have some loose skin.  Then, it became funny to watch it wibble, wobble, and wiggle.  I like scaring my children with it.  "Be nice to me or I'll show you my knees!"  "Look at these arms!"  Their screams amuse me.

Now, the skin is taking on a life of its own.  We share space.  I do what I want, the skin does what it wants.  Come winter I'm going to suck it all in with Spanx and Squeezy T's.  But, it got up to 113 degrees in my town today and I am not interested in wearing spandex.  I can't wait for cooler weather so I can whip this skin into some kind of shape other than the droopy one it now assumes. 

My job requires that I occasionally film myself working with one of my clients.  I used to hate to see myself on video because of my weight.  I'm not at goal, so I was worried I'd still hate seeing myself on video.  Nevertheless, I set up the camera and did my work.  I made myself watch because I knew it will improve my skills.  But, here were my initial assessments.  "Oh god, there's my butt."  I braced myself.  "Hmm, not bad, at least with clothes on."  "Oh no, there's my gut.  Hey, not great, but not bad, not bad."  Then, I began to relax as I watched myself work with my client.  Then, "WHOA!  Look at that flabby arm skin!  Why didn't I wear longer sleeves?  I'm so glad I didn't slap that child silly with all that flab." 

The world is not perfect and I am imperfect in it.  All in all, I like my imperfection on this side of WLS. 

Blessings to all my gentle readers. 

and that's a good thing.  Here's the joke:  
Q:  What happens when you play a country song backwards?  
A:  You get your wife back.  You get your job back.  You get your dog back.....

I'm getting my life back and I love it!!  It has be T-O-U-G-H these past few months.  Transitions, by nature, are always hard.  Since I separated from my husband, I've had to adjust to a great many things.  There have been a lot of emotional roller coasters to ride. 

Financially, it has been scary.  A roller coaster would be preferable in that arena.  However, I feel like I'm conquering some fears and facing the hard stuff in regards to my finances.  My 2010 taxes were not filed and I was having trouble facing them, even though I'm set to get quite a good refund.  I self-paid for my surgery, which will help with the refund.  But, doing the taxes meant having to ask my soon-to-be ex for information and help, which I had already done and gotten only a half-hearted response.  The tax refund would get me out of my current hole, but for some reason I just wasn't able to face it... until a couple of weeks ago.  I just decided to break "The Taxes" into smaller tasks and to assign a date to get each task done.  A week later, I turned in the information to the accountant.  Woo hoo!  It may seem like a small thing, but it was a huge victory for me.

Today, I went to two, count 'em, two banks to ask for help restructuring my debt.  The news was not so great at the first bank, but the second bank is pretty promising.  There is a solution out there and I am working toward it.  After I get the debt restructured, I have someone who is going to help me with my monthly budget (which will be workable by then) to help me set goals and achieve the financial status I desire.

What does this have to do with weight loss?  Everything.  Taking stress out of my life, creating a financial plan, living within my means... all of it helps me to get free of head hunger and emotional eating. 

I send blessings to all who read my blog.  I am grateful for you.  You inspire me to live a better life.  I hope you are loving yours as much as I am loving mine right now. 

Here is a progression of pictures which illustrate my weight loss.

        
Highets weight before WLS       Before liquid diet      Two months post op                          3 months

        
                              4 months                                     5 months                                        6 months

     
        7 months                              11 months         Surgiversary