Consider this analogy: Men and women are hesitant or scared to death before having any form of heart surgery (either before or after having a heart attack or something close to it). Once they know they have a heart problem they are haunted and scared to death by the possibility or likelihood that a serious medical incident will force them into the hospital with a serious more complicated surgery and recovery experience.

Consider this by comparison: You're probably morbidly obese or worse. You can't fit into your desired or previous clothing. You have trouble getting in and out of an average sized car and if you can you're not very comfortable once you're in and getting out is not so easy either. You can't comfortably fit into a chair with arms and at a restaurant you have to ask for a chair without them (if you're lucky that they have one) or hope they have a booth if you don't know beforehand. You call ahead to see if they have either to avoid the embarrassment of asking. You avoid going to the beach or a swimming pool because you can't fit into a bathing suit or are embarrassed if you can. If you walk too far or walk at all you get out of breath and risk passing out due to not getting enough oxygen to your brain. This is the short list of all the combined reasons that bariatric patients have to undergo the surgery. That will include all of the health reasons for doing so that you may not have experienced YET.

Instead of asking bariatric patients what their surgery experience was ask them for all the reasons they considered surgery in the first place (fears, anxiety, embarrassment, and the physical pain, mental suffering and health risks from being morbidly obese). Compare your reasons to theirs and see which ones you share and which ones only apply to you. If you don't have enough to reinforce your reasons for surgery then you may not need surgery at all and you can wait until there are enough reasons to get you back on the schedule.

If your doctor thinks you're healthy enough to have the surgery and you managed to qualify for it I'm glad to bet that the surgery itself is one of the safest surgeries you could ever expect to undergo and that the recovery is the least difficult or problematic. Your greatest hesitation may be the thought of no longer being able to eat the unhealthy things or the amount of them that you do or the challenge of incorporating exercises and activities that you're not accustomed to. Have an honest conversation with yourself (not others) to see what you want more; the lifestyle you currently have that caused the obesity. Or the freedom to be physically fit, as healthy as you should be, and the benefit of being free of all the negative aspects that this reply started with. You have to choose for yourself and not let others choose for you. Failure won't be an option and you will succeed and be grateful for it. Regardless of your choice, best wishes for your future.

Working on gifting myself an hour a day to concentrate on what I need to do to ensure my mental and physical health. No husband, kids, dog, work, etc.

I've realized that part of my too large focus on food is caused by my failing to reward myself in other areas .

So THIS Black Friday I actually bought myself a few big ticket items I've wanted ( and needed) for years , namely TVs . I'm so excited that the first will be delivered TOMORROW!!! Trying to assemble the stand and new loveseat now ....

I'm also thinking of treating myself to plastic surgery if I can get it together with the doctor.

I tried to go to the Plastic Surgery Forum as I have a few weeks free ( something very rare these days ) and I can't find it all . Ty

First of all My email hasn't changed like Ever... maybe once since I had surgery. I open dashboard and all I get is friends ... groups ... no other options .