Transfer Addiction (written with approval from my husband)
Feb 23, 2021
I know I don't write as often as I should. Usually I write when I have something on my mind. This topic has been on my mind for awhile now. For about a week I have toy'd with the idea of writeing this blog. And even had a rough draft of it written one night when I couldnt sleep. I asked my husband if he minded that I write about this since it was mostly about him. He gave me the go ahead; So here it is. (I warn you that its a bit long)
This topic is a serious one for me and our family. Addiction comes in many forms and has hit each of us in one way or another threw family members. We never really thought that we were addicted to food but knew it was a possibility. As Im sure you saw the title, you'll know that this blog post is about transfer addiction. My guess is either you know what it is and are curious to learn more or you have no idea what it is.
So with that said here goes our story.
Transfer addiction is when you are addicted to something and when that something is taken away you become addicted to something else. I jokingly state that my transfer addiction is hiking. I drive a school vehicle and I have some views of mountains in the horizon. Looking at them I long after them, almost crave being out there. So maybe it is my transfer addiction. Not a bad one to have. Shrugs. But this isn't about that addiction. This is about a more serious one; a common addiction. One I thought was going to ruin my marriage of 23yrs. Alcohol.
My husband had his RYN July 3rd. 2017. He had his before I got mine. He was and still is doing well. At the time he had a new job that at first he loved. He worked as a 911 operator, and it paid well. However, he quickly realized that the job was causeing much stress on him. Not to mention the many long hours. He would work 3 or 4 days, 16hrs each day. And because he was low man on the totem pole, he got stuck with extra days and hours if someone called out. He had to start taking anxiety med and then started drinking at home.
I dont know exactly how much he would drink because he would buy the bottles and put it into his contego cup or gatorade to hide it. Then before coming home he would throw the bottle into the trash can at a nearby gas station. He did this to hide the evidence. After he got home he would start drinking the hidden alchol. There were times he would be plastered by afternoon. When I became aware of what was going on I would come across his bottles with the alchol in them. When I would show him the bottles he would denie knowing what it was, or claim that it was a very old bottle. Both of which I know was not true. We bought a breath tester, and even after blowing 3 times the legal limit he would denie that he'd been drinking.
We talked to his Dr about it and she expressed her concern because he goes into sugar lows and he could pass out and go into a low and not come back from it. Even with that threat, he would continue to do this. It got so bad that he had to take off work at times. Which he wasn't allowed to do because he didn't have the time built up. So then he got written up, which caused more stress. I got rid of all the alchol in the house that I knew about. I wantted to make it easier for him to give it up and not be tempted. I started getting mad about the situation because i was worried more about it then he seemed to be. This went on for several months. It was affecting his health, his work, his family, our daughter, and our marriage. We offered to go to counseling with him but once he sobbered up he would denie needing help.
The final straw was after another evening of him being drunk he was getting ready to drive to the store. This was something he would never do. I had to hide his keys and then he passed out half on the bed and half on the floor. I started writeing poems about how it was effecting me and our marriage. I believe it was these things that woke him up. He stoped drinking. He didn't go to get help (which I still think he should do in case the urge comes back, but it's his choice to make.) He lost his job, but luckily that was all that was lost. As close as we came to breaking up we managed to hold onto one small thread.
We got lucky, it's been half a year since the last time he drank. For many it's not that easy. They may not know how to get help or have the support they need. Now I'm going to sound like the awareness commercials I urge you, if you are suffering threw this or know someone who is, get yourself or them help before it's to late. Transfer addiction is a real thing and can ruin more lives than just the drinker.
Unexpected Downfall to weight loss *Little Graphic & Personal
Jan 23, 2021
This year, not much is going on. We are trying to keep active as much as possible but with corna and an unexpcted downfall to weight loss; we have not been able to do much in the way of hiking, running, exerciseing. And yes I said downfall to weight loss lol.
So with my weightloss I have the overwhelming feeling of getting my life back. And not looking to neglect this gift I have been trying to use it to experience as much of life as I can. By doing this I have noticed a change in my body. Something that even the doctors said was the opposite of what normally happens but is completely normal. So with running, hiking and any other stess activities I started "leaking" My doctor put me on med but that did not help. I thought I was going to have to deal with wearing pads or diapers at an early age. Last year I happen upon a device that is incerted that springs into place putting pressure on the bladder that needs support. The problem is that it can only be used occasionaly. So I started talking to my doctor and she sugested that I speak to urologist. I found out that there is an operation that basically does the same thing on a more perminint bases. My doctor said that normaly when a person loses weight, he or she regains the muscles and support. But in my case since I was becoming much more active than ever this is why I am having the leaking more now than before weight loss.
So yet again, I went under the knife in December (RYN was Dec as well). I underwent the surgery that placed a sling; a sort of hammock under my urethra supporting my bladder. I am still under restriction and can not run, hike, lift more than 10lbs, or exercise until Feb 9th. So my weight loss has stalled again. But I look forward to when my restriction is lifted and I can see if the leaking stops.
Oct 31, 2020
There is this place we hiked back in 2010 called 1000 Steps. This was before we started our weight loss journey. This mountain is part of the National Heritage Trail. Local miners used to climb this mountain back in 1900 to the early 1950's. The trail is only 3.5 Miles with an elivation of 2466'. Back in 2010 We managed to climb the mountain but we were very worn out, exhausted, and our legs burned and felt like jello. It also took us a good part of 8hrs to climb up and back down. This time we climbed the steps and even went to some of the extra look out area's off the trail a bit. We did this in just under 3hrs and that was with helping a little girl get down after falling on the steps halfway down.
We were not as worn out as we were 10 years ago. Loseing the weight made it so much easier to climb up and down the steps. We did not have to stop to get up the strength to continue. It is so much nicer to see all this beauty without trying to get our breath to slow down.
These photos were taken at the same spot on the trail, and we realized it was 1 month more than 10 yrs apart.
Jun 05, 2020
I haven't posted in awhile. I have been keeping busy as much as possible. Over the summer, I hiked most of the Appalachian trail Pa section. Than I took a couple of weekends to finish the rest. All in all I hiked about 250 to 300 miles. I came back to not only meeting my dr goal weight but my goal weight as well. My Dr was shooting for 185, I was shooting for 175. When I came back after my final week hiking I was 172. Unfortunately after the holidays and then the quarantine I gained back 10 of those lbs. At least I am still below my Dr. goal weight for me.
I have already started on my next journey. I am now working on doing Md. boarder to boarder. It isn't that long but with the weather I wasn't planning on doing much until it warms up and stays warm. I have finished half of it so far. Last weekend I got caught in the really bad rain and my dog and I ended up hunkering down near a rock to try and stay dry. Did not work to well for me lol. I am hoping to do a couple of states boarder to boarder this summer as well as get back out to kayak.
Losing all the weight we have lost has given me back my life; and I intend on doing as much as I can with it.
Weight Goal Met
Aug 13, 2019
My Dr said he wantted my weight to be lower than 185 but I was not happy with that. So I set my goal as 175. I have been hiking the appalachian trail and so far I have hiked 152.8 Miles Hiked out of 229.6 Miles. I am shotting for hiking all of pennsylvania boarder to boarder.
When I came home after this last stretch I weighed myself and found out not only did I reach my goal but I passed it. I now weight 173.2 I am so happy. I also found out I can wear size larges and some mediums. I can not remember the last time I could wear clothes that small. So many accomplishments this year. From running, hiking, kyacking, and meeting my Dr.'s goal weight and now meeting my own goal weight.
For those struggeling, dont give up. It feels so good to finally reach your goals and be able to do what you want to do now.
Weight: 173.2 lbs, Measurments: Neck 14", Chest 33.5", Waist 36.5", Hips ?", Thighs 23.0", Arms 11.5"
Gastric Bypass RNY Dec. 20 2017
Dr. Gw: BMI < 28
My Gw: 175
Current Overall Weight loss -159.8 lbs.,
Hiking the Lb's off
Jul 28, 2019
As I have mentioned before, I have hit a stall. A very long and slow stall. But I have started doing some major hiking and it is helping me.
I have started hiking on the appalachian trail. And while I dont have the time off to complete the whole thing; I am determined to get as much of pennsylvania done inbetween working. My first week out and I had to cut it short by two days. Not because of my ability but instead it was due to my gear giving out on me. I went threw two pairs of hiking boots, and a backpack. This past weekend I went back to finish the first stretch. I have so far completed 53 miles of the trail. In a couple of days I am going back out and hoping to at least double that.
I came home to find out I have left my stall behind on the trail. My weight is now droping off again. I am currantly 3.8lbs away from my goal weight of 175. I have two possible weeks to get as many miles in as I can. And in turn, reach my goal weight if not go lower than my goal.
Here are 3 photo's that we took this past weekend. One is taking a break into town to visit an ice cream shop for a well deserved desert. One is me starting on the trail, and last is the rocks that the trail turned into. It went from trail hiking to rock climbing lol.
Weight: 178.8 lbs, Measurments: Neck 14", Chest 33.5", Waist 38", Hips 34.5", Thighs 23.0", Arms 12"
Gastric Bypass RNY Dec. 20 2017
Dr. Gw: BMI < 28
My Gw: 175
Current Overall Weight loss -154.2 lbs.,
What's wrong with me?
Jul 11, 2019
Weight: 181.4 lbs, Measurments: Neck 14", Chest 34.5", Waist 39.5", Hips 34.5", Thighs 23.0", Arms 12"
Gastric Bypass RNY Dec. 20 2017
Dr. Gw: BMI < 28
My Gw: 175
Current Overall Weight loss -151.6 lbs.,
To tell or not to tell
Jun 28, 2019
I have seen many people ask others if they told people about their surgery or kept it secret. I never could understand what the delema is.
I told everyone what I was doing. And of course there were some who questioned if it was the right decision. Shoot I even questioned it when my husband first got his done. I explained to everyone what it was like to live in a world where everyone looks at your outter appearance and judges you. What it was like to have to sit on the side lines because you could not do some sort of activity or fit into a booth because of your size. What it was like to walk into a store and not be able to buy an outfit you like because it was made for a smaller size.
Then I explained to them how even when I ate right or tried my hardest how I would lose some weight but eventually I would gain it all back and then some. Usually they understood. Sometimes I regret not beliving my husband at first that the surgery was the right path. But I think that I needed to have that denial in order to make up my own mind about my own surgery.
Now, I love when I tell people how much weight I have lost and I get the normal congrats or wow's but then I show them my Id and they see the difference. Their look is priceless and it makes me smile ear to ear.
Jun 28, 2019
June 16, 2019
Well, Normally this time of the year I would be hiding in my house. Hiding because the weather is to warm, as well as hiding because I hated my weight. Now I look forward to going out and even encourage it.
The first photo was a picnic my husbands job had. At first he did not want to go out but after he saw me getting ready and enjoying it I think it wore off on him and he started enjoying it. The second photo was when I took my husband out for fathers day. Before we would have stayed home and cooked something on the grill. But instead we took him to a nice resturant.
Another new thing, I have started wearing heels when I dress up. Not that I need them. Im 5' 8" without heels. Lol. I used to be so afraid that I would fall or the heels would break and people would make fun of me because of it. I have some thiner heels but have not got up enough courage to wear them yet. lol
Jun 28, 2019
June 01, 2019
I have been so busy that I have fallin behind on writeing blogs. But I have written them down on pad of paper so i can catch up now lol.
The bus company I work for has an appreciation lunch at the end of the school year. I had decided to wear the same outfit this year, 16 months Post-op as I did last year 6 months Post-op. Even though I know in my heart I have lost weight and my self esteem is so much better now. I am still shocked to see the side by side comparison.
I have learned threw this past year and a half that I do not have the dumping to help me stay on track with my WOE. But I have been real good with keeping track of how much I eat. From the beginning I started noticing the signs of when I was full. It makes it so much easier since I do not have to count calories. When we go to company picnics or go out to eat I dont have to worry about "do they have something my stomach can handle" My husband on the other hand does. And more times than not he ends up dumping cause he ate something that did not agree with his new stomach.