ALSGIRL02

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HEY OH FAMILY WHAT'S UP WELL ITS TWO DAYS TIL MY BIRTHDAY AND TO KEEP IT REAL I FEEL LIKE SUGAR, HONEY, ICED TEA FOR MY SISTAS AND BROTHERS A LITTLE SLOWER THAN OTHERS (S.H.I.T.) . I WAS SUPPOSE TO BE FIVE WEEKS AND 1 DAY POST OP ON MY BIRTHDAY INSTEAD IM SITTING HERE STILL NOT ON THE LOSERS BENCH AND FALLING OFF THE DAMN WAGON ALL TOGETHER WHEN IT COMES TO MY FOOD CHOICES LATELY. LUCKILY MY PARTNER WAS SENT TO ME STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN NOTHING ELSE COULD EXPLAIN OUR RELATIONSHIP EXCEPT GOD HAS MERCY ON ALL HIS CREATURES AND SOMETIMES HE GIVES US HIS ANGELS BECAUSE HE KNOW WE ARE WEAK AT THE TIME AND CANT DO IT WITHOUT HIS HELP. I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND TO THINK WE WERE FRIENDS SINCE 13 AND WAITED UNTIL WE WERE IN OUR MID TWENTIES TO HOOK UP IS JUST AMAZING.
    BUT BACK TO THE MATTER AT HAND I GO SEE MY SURGEON THE THE 17TH OF AUGUST OMG THIS MAN BETTTER HAVE ME ALREADY SCHEDULED FOR A DATE WHEN I STEP FOOT IN HIS OFFICE BECAUSE IF NOT I WILL BE LEAVING LIMPING CAUSE MY OTHER FOOT WILL BE PLANTED FIRMLY IN HIS ASS TO SAY THE LEAST!!!!!!  THOSE OF YOU, IF ANYBODY IS READING THIS KNOW WHY I AM SO HOSTILE ABOUT THE SITUATION!!!!!!!!
    I DONT THINK I EVEN REALIZED HOW EXCITED I WAS ABOUT MAKING THIS CHANGE BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY AND NOW IM GONNA SEE ANOTHE ONE COME AND GO AS THE BIG GIRL (STILL SEXY AS HELL IF I MUST SAY SO MYSELF)  BUT YET AND STILL OVER 300LBS. AND THIS IS JUST NOT COOL. OK I HAD MY RANT FOR THE EVENING NOW TO HIT THE BOARDS AND FIND OUT WHATS GOING ON WITH EVERYONE ELSE.

HEY GUYS I KNOW ITS BEEN A WHILE AND MY LAST POST I WAS JUST TOO THROUGH WITH EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING.  WELL I WENT TO SEE MY SURGEON TODAY AND HE GAVE ME A DATE TO COME SEE HIM ON AUGUST 17TH THAT SEEMS YEARS AWAY AND THATS NOT EVEN A SURGERY DATE I JUST GO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING HEALED PROPERLY SINCE HE TOOK THE BAND OFF.  MY KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL ON THE 29TH OF AUGUST SO I HAVE NO CLUE ON HOW ALL THIS IS GONNA PLAY OUT IM NERVOUS AS HECK BECAUSE IM SO ACTIVE IN THIER SCHOOL.  I ACTUALLY APPLIED FOR A POSITION THERE  FOR THE UPCOMING YEAR.

  I GOT APPROVED ORIGINALLY ON THE 17TH OF JUNE AND MY SURGERY WAS FOR THE 27TH SO IM PRAYING FOR ANOTHER FAST DATE LIKE THAT WHEN I SEE HIM ON THE 17TH. IM JUST FEELING LIKE IM STUCK AT THE TOP OF A ROLLERCOASTER AND FOR SOME REASON IT JUST WONT MOVE I JUST FEEL LIKE MY WHOLE LIFE IS ON STANDBY.    

OMG GOD I AM LITERALLY GOING CRAZY MY SURGERY DATE WAS THE 27TH OF JUNE AND IM STILL NOT THERE YET.  OK HERE GOES NOTHING. I FINALLY GET TO THE HOSPITAL AT 6AM. AFTER THE NIGHT FROM HELL (YOU HAVE TO TAKE A MAXIMUM STRENGTH LAXITIVE THE NIGHT BEFORE SURGERY). SO I GET TO THE HOSPITAL THEY CHECK ME IN THEY GIVE ME A MILD SEDATIVE SO I CAN RELAX, THEY GIVE ME A BLOOD THINNER THAT HURT LIKE HELL, THEY ASK ME EVERY QUESTION KNOWN TO MAN ABOUT MY HEALTH AND THEN THEY TELL ME MY SURGERY IS NOT SCHEDULED TO HAPPEN UNTIL 1PM (WTF). I GUESS THEY FORGOT TO PUT THAT BS IN THE MEMO. BUT THANKS TO THE SEDATIVE AND THE FACT THAT I WAS UP ALL NIGHT RUNNING TO THE BATHROOM A NAP WAS DUE.
SO OK IM AWAKEN BY MY SURGEONS PARTNER TO TAKE ME IN THE BACK THE ACTUAL SURGERY WAITING ROOM. OK NOW FOR THE BIGGEST CROCK OF BULLSHIT I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED AS AN ADULT!!!  MY SURGEON WALKS IN THE ROOM AND SAYS QUOTE" I HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE THE LAPBAND OF LAPROSCOPICLY, LET THE AREA HEAL AND THEN BRING YOU BACK IN 6-8WEEKS AND DUE THE BYPASS THEN"
WHATTTTTTTT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IS WHAT EVERY PART OF MY BODY WANTED TO SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  BUT MY PARTNER JUST GRABED MY HAND AS THE TEARS STARTED ROLLING DOWN MY FACE AND TELLING ME THAT IT MUST BE GOD'S WILL TO WAIT AND EVERYTHING WOULD BE OK. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO DISSAPPOINTED IN MY LIFE!! NOBODY HAS EVER DONE ANYTHING SO LOW DOWN TO ME IN ALL MY DAYS I FELT LIKE A BUG AND HE TOTALLY SQUASHED ME.
SO 20 MINUTES LATER IM LAYING ON THE SURGERY TABLE TEARS UNCONTROLABLY RUNNING DOWN MY FACE AND MY SURGEON SAYS I PROMISE IN SIX WEEKS YOU WONT EVEN REMEMBER THIS IT'S A SET BACK NOT A FAILURE AND THIS IS BETTER.
SO THAT IS MY STORY SO FAR AND I AM STILL FAT AS EVER PROBRABLY GAING AS I TYPE THIS BECAUSE IM SOOOOO DEPRESSED I'M EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.  AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF MY PERIOD DROPS AND I BLEED LIKE A PIG BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN SHOT WITH A BLOOD THINNER FOR A SURGERY I NEVER HAD. NOBODY EVER SAID IT WAS GONNA BE EASY BUT GOD DARNIT NOBODY SAID IT WAS THIS HARD EITHER. 

HEY OH FAMILY TODAY IS JUNE 21, 2011 MY SURGERY IS THE 27TH I AM GOING STIR CRAZY. I AM SO READY TO GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!! BUT ITS CRAZY ONE MOMENT I CANT WAIT THE NEXT MOMENT IM TRYING TO STOP TIME. ITS CRAZY I JUST KEEP READING MY APPROVAL LETTER FROM MY INSURANCE AND LOOKING AT THIS HUMONGOUS CONTAINER OF LAXATIVE IM SUPPOSE TO DRINK SUNDAY NIGHT (LOL). IM JUST WAITING FOR THE CALL TO SAY OH YOU HAVE BEEN RESCHEDULED OR SOMETHING. IM DRIVING MY PARTNER CRAZY BUT LUCKILY SHE LOVES ME NO MATTER HOW PSYCHOTIC I AM  WELL I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY SO I GUESS IM DONE FOR NOW.

HELLO EVERYONE I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO START THIS STORY OFF SO IM JUST GONNA WHATEVER COMES TO MIND.   SRRY THERES NOT MORE BACKGROUND BUT I HAVE BEEN IN A FOG.  I BASICALLY STARTED THIS JOURNEY LAST YEAR SEPTEMBER.  I FINALLY REALIZED I WAS TIRED OF BEING TIRED. I WAS TIRED OF MAKING EXCUSES AND ACTING LIKE I WAS FINE WITH EVERYTHING AND THE WEIGHT WASNT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. THE CRAZY PART ABOUT ALL OF THIS IT TOOK ME TO MEET THE SOULMATE OF MY DREAMS AND FOR HER (YES IM A LESBIAN) TO TELL ME (EVERY SINGLE DAY 3 AND 4 TIMES A DAY, HOW BEATIFUL AND SEXY I AM, FOR ME TO FINALLY REALIZE I DONT FEEL THAT WAY (FOR THOSE WHO KNOW ME THATS A BIG DEAL BECAUSE IF YOU MET ME YOU WOULD THINK I LIVED ON CLOUD 9). AND I NEED TO ADDRESS MY ISSUES AND FIX MY LIFE. IM TIRED OF EVERYTHING  IM TIRED OF LETTING A PAIR OF JEANS THAT LOOK NOTHING LIKE I IMAGINED THEM LOOKING WHEN I GET THEM HOME RUIN MY DAY, I'M TIRED OF SAYING I'M AFRAID OF RIDES AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK BECAUSE I' M SCARED OF NOT FITTING IN THE SEAT,  IM TIRED OF HAVING TO WEAR LOW CUT SHIRTS AND SHOW OFF THE GIRLS(MY BOOBS) HOPING NOBODY LOOKS PAST THAT POINT. 

WELL BASICALLY I'M DONE WITH IT ALL!!!!!!  I'M TAKING OVER THIS LONG OVER DO OVERHAUL. I CANT COMPLAIN TOO MUCH ABOUT THE WHOLE INSURANCE PROCESS IT WENT FAIRLY SMOOTH THE PART THAT GOT ON MY NERVES WAS THE FACT THAT I HAD TO SEE THE NUTRITIONIST 6 TIMES AND IT HAD TO BE 30 DAYS IN BETWEEN EACH VISIT AND I HAD TO KEEP A FOOD JOURNAL ITS HARD ADMITTING THAT BEING OVERWEIGHT DID NOT START OFF AS MY FAULT BUT IM DOING A GOOD JOB OF SUSTAINING IT ( I EAT ALOT, WHO KNEW)  I REALLY USED TO SAY THINGS LIKE I BARELY EAT, I ONLY EAT ONCE A DAY, AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE I KNOW ITS ALOT BUT IM GONNA SAVE HALF FOR LATER  THATS REALLY FUNNY TO ME BECAUSE TO KNOW ME IS TO KNOW I DONT SAVE AT ALL!!!!! OTHER THEN THAT EVERYTHING WENT UNEVENTFUL. I WAS APPROVED ON JUNE 17,2011. AND MY SURGERY WAS SCHEDULED FOR JUNE 27, 2011. TALK ABOUT QUICK!!!! I SPENT SO MUCH TIME TRYING TO GET APPROVED I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT I WOULD DO IF I EVER GOT APPROVED LOL.  I NEVER CONSIDERED THIS NOT ONE TIME I KNOW THAT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT I COME TO THIS SITE PERIODICLY AND SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE SUCH HORROR STORIES ABOUT INSURANCE AND I JUST THOUGHT MY FIRST BLOG WOULD GET ADDED TO THE PILE.  IM VERY EXCITED BUT SCARED OUT OF MY MIND