The elephant in the room, isn't me.

Sep 28, 2011

I started a new job a month ago.  No one there knows me from "before" -- and although I am in NO WAY slim, I am kind of "normal non descript overweight looking." 

We had a meeting at the office.  I am a professional social worker, and management.  I walked in the meeting room and the topic of discussion during a break was attending weight watchers.  A woman was trying to convince someone to go to meetings with her.  She was reall working the room -- approaching one individual after another trying to get them to go with her so she could get a free something or other.  I was just standing there sipping my coffee, and wondering when she was going to get to me, and feeling that old "oh what is going to be my excuse for not going this time....." and realized that she had gone past me, and on to someone else.....I figured it was because I am management....until she approached MY supervisor (who is quite obese) and was pressuring her.....

It was not until quite a bit later that I realized that I can "PASS" as normal now.   I always felt like the elephant in the middle of the room that everyone was stareing at -- you know -- you realize that you are the fattest person there....

I have been quite "thrown" by this today.  I know that my body has changed, I can see that most days.  I am a size 16 petite now.  I used to be a 28 womens.  I can't believe the changes in me.

I am not the elephant in the room anymore.  And I like it.

Of course, it is a "the scale isn't moving week, so my head is playing games with me, and I FEEL FAT -- and feel like I must weigh a bizillion pounds....but still....I'm not the elephant in the room that no one polite talks about.....

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