Katie K.

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Had my sleep study last night

Very comfy bed...
It was very much like being home again with mom... they come in, make sure you have everything you need (It is like a hotel room)..
Got all hooked up to a TON of wires and watched some TV and then Michelle came in and said... "were you thinking of going to sleep soon?" I said "I was just going to read for a bit" Michelle said "How about we turn the light off.. do you think you try to sleep for me?"
I said... "OK".... and it felt kind of nice to be told what to do.. to be told to go to bed and have someone else make sure I got the rest I needed.

Then... I called out when I had to pee and she whisked right in and helped me to the bathroom and at 6:30 a voice out of the wall said "Kathryn... are you ready to get up? would you like some coffee?"

I slept well, did not need the C-PAP through the night at all

What will I do with my time?
What will I think about when I walk into a room when I no longer have to do a scan of the place and decide if I will sit on a hard wooden chair that hurts my back, or a booth that will suffocate me?
On the way to the table will I have to squeeze by other patrons and bump my rear into their shoulders, then gently pat them and apologize.
How about a bathroom? Those toilets that only connect to the wall.. scary
A lap for my daughter would be amazing! I make a great slide for her currently.
I know who I am, I know what I enjoy, what I cannot do, what I can do, what my weight will allow me to do with my back pain, knee pain, ankle pain and exhaustion.
I suppose losing half of myself will be like quitting smoking?
Obesity is sort of like having a habit, it is something you do, your world revolves around it, it is on your mind constantly. For me it is not so much a psychological issue, but one of comfort, necessity and ability. By comfort I mean, I am always in pain, I am always adjusting, readjusting to allow my body to relax.
I desire for people that have no idea what it is like to struggle with weight to have some semblence of what life is like for me.
I do not overeat (sure I like seconds once in a while, who doesn't, why am I not allowed that luxury?), I binged twice in my life, once on oreos as a child and once on olives as a child. I still love oreos, but the olives did not love me.
I have been faced recently with questions and concerns regarding weight loss surgery, "why would I put myself through this", "am I not aware of the risks?" " Have I tried to excersice?" "what if you just cut out carbs?" "what if you went vegetarian?", "Just eat smaller portions"....
NEWS FLASH: I did not make it to the age of 32 without knowing perfectly well what a portion size should be.
My first visit with a nutritionist was when I was about 12. My mom took me to NOCH in GH to see their Nutrionist.
I know when I am talking with someone that has never ever experience having a weight issue because they say those kinds of things to me.
However, noone that is in my life that has known me since choldhood has uttered such a silly thing to me. They know me, have watched me grow.. quite literally.
I love it when people say "I have to struggle too, I hve to lose 10 pounds for a wedding" People.. that is a healthy deuce in the morning to my body.. so no.. 10 pounds is not much of a struggle, that is what weight watchers is for, or slim fast.
As far as risks go, or putting myself through "this".....................
Taking vitamins daily for the rest of my life to supplement for the extreme lack in stomach and intestine is a small price to pay for not having to carry around 150 extra pounds on a daily basis. Go ahead, strap on 150 pounds and walk around with it, I dare you to try. Would you prefer vitamins twice daily? I bet you would.
Risks" Lets see here, with any surgery there are risks, anytime you go under there are risks. I understand perfectly and probably know more at this stage about those risks than anyone in my life that has not had this surgery.
I have done enough research to make you sleepy, I am borderline obsessed with it, and I am attempting to get my resources from different areas, not just the Bariatric Surgeon that wants my money, I am looking at national and international statistics, Hospital risk studies regarding bariatric studies that have been done by independant sources as well as the NHIP (National Health Insurance Program) and other federal resources.
I am taking a risk to be with my family for a LONG time. and to actually participate in life and not just be a supervisor of it.
I am Katie like I have always been... That wont change...
What will change? The size of my ass.

My referral got to the surgeons office, My first appt with the Physical/History Dr. is set for the 11th.
I am so excited, a little nervous too!
I thought it would be out further than that.. Todd (my Husband) is very curious and excited for me to be healthy and active and healthy and be able to ride our ditbikes together and get back on stage together..
I am grateful.

SO sick of being sick and tired.. our entire family has been passing sickness back and forth for 7 weeks now.. what a drag.
It has given me time to do alot of research into what surgery I would prefer, what would benefit me most with my BMI and lifestyle.
I have been sitting back and making friends on here with similar interests, surgeons, location and surgery options.
I read every one of their stories, good and bad.
I have encouraged my family and friends to peruse the site and the forums to learn about the ups and downs of everything ..and if you look at it, it is literally everything, from nerves to what do do about cough syrup post op.
I want to go into this fully loaded with information, resources and support. OH will certainly help with that.

Welcome to the start of my "Blog" Follow or don't on my journey of weight loss in it's most extreme fashion.

I have started a journey towards Weight Loss Surgery.

 I am not soliciting feedback, but need to write, need to express and need to share with the people in my life.

Are you ready? I am.......

 

12/23/2010

Until very recently I never felt ashamed, I was never the victim (that I knew of) of teasing due to my weight.

A little history: When I was 8, we loaded into the bus at Rosy Mound and rode over to the High School for the afternoon to swim like we did every month if I remember correctly.

On this one particular winter day we are all seated on the bench in our swim suits listening to the swim instructor give us directions as to the activity for the afternoon.

My ADD was kicked in pretty good and I was ignoring the teacher and looking at all my friends lined up and down the bench. It was at that moment that I realized, my body was not like the other girls. In trying to figure out why I noticed that I could not see my crotch.. yep.. there it is, I just said that. 

 

I was 8.. when I realized I was overweight.. I did not know what that meant then. I just knew I was different.