fngrs132
My husband doesn't want me....
Oct 09, 2005
October 10,2005
Well hello all. I just really needed to vent here because I just found out from my spouse early this morning that he no longer wants to be with me. In his words, we no longer "mesh". What a way to bail on a marriage. After 15 years of marriage, a full year without sex or being touched at all, I am told that we don't mesh. Don't get me wrong, I knew something was happening, but I thought if I tried to be there and tried to do all the things that he claims I never did like talk to him or listen to him that maybe things would get better...the jokes on me for that one. I should have just left well enough alone. Or he should have told me that when we went to counseling last year. He just didnt have the guts to say the words. I have given my all to this marriage, and now I have nothing left for myself. I have put up with years of lying, trying to make dates with other women, porn addiction, and just plain out desrespect. But now i'm tired. I am mentally drained, and just can't stand to see this man anymore. I have decided to go back to Ohio to live, there is no reason for me to continue to be here with a man who doesn't care enough for me. Besides paying the rent and utilities there is nothing else he has done for me or the kids. I just need to get out now. But after 15 years, I feel like where do I start. I just feel numb. So hurt and abandoned. I just have nothing left. I had surgery because I needed to get myself healthier, never once thinking that my spouse would do this to me. But I know what goes around, comes around. Until next time folks.
Well hello all. I just really needed to vent here because I just found out from my spouse early this morning that he no longer wants to be with me. In his words, we no longer "mesh". What a way to bail on a marriage. After 15 years of marriage, a full year without sex or being touched at all, I am told that we don't mesh. Don't get me wrong, I knew something was happening, but I thought if I tried to be there and tried to do all the things that he claims I never did like talk to him or listen to him that maybe things would get better...the jokes on me for that one. I should have just left well enough alone. Or he should have told me that when we went to counseling last year. He just didnt have the guts to say the words. I have given my all to this marriage, and now I have nothing left for myself. I have put up with years of lying, trying to make dates with other women, porn addiction, and just plain out desrespect. But now i'm tired. I am mentally drained, and just can't stand to see this man anymore. I have decided to go back to Ohio to live, there is no reason for me to continue to be here with a man who doesn't care enough for me. Besides paying the rent and utilities there is nothing else he has done for me or the kids. I just need to get out now. But after 15 years, I feel like where do I start. I just feel numb. So hurt and abandoned. I just have nothing left. I had surgery because I needed to get myself healthier, never once thinking that my spouse would do this to me. But I know what goes around, comes around. Until next time folks.
Onderland...finally
Sep 26, 2005
Sept. 27,2005
Well all, I am officially a looser. I have hit the Onederlands and it feels marvelous. I am down to 194 now. I can wear a size 14 pants, a size medium shirts and now I need to go and have my rings resized so that they fit. My boobs are a bit saggy, but I guess I can live with that. It's all a part of the journey. I don't plan on having anymore surgery for right now (plastics), because after the problems I have had with the rny, I just don't think I can go through that again. Call me a chicken. I will be 3 mo. out from surgery on the 5 of Oct. I think I am a bit excited about that. I have lost a lot of weight and inches and have gone out and bought some pretty lingerie for daily wear of course. I think that I deserve to feel sexy for once in my life. I know that all of you can understand what I mean by that.I go back to the Dr. for my 3 month visit on the 6 of Oct. so I will find out how many inches I have lost since my last visit. I have had so much trouble getting in my protien, but I think I have finally got a way to get it in. I went to GNC and bought the liquid protien which gives me 18 grams of protien in 3 tblsp. I also started drinking the slim fast carb shakes (20 grams per) which aren't too bad. My hair hasnt started falling out thank God, but I am just waitin on the shedding to start. These are the things that I can do since my WLS.
1. I can walk almost 3-4 miles a day,
2. I can bend in ways I never thought I could,
3. I can get into a tub and NOT have to holler for help or have the water go over the sides,
4. I can paint my toenails,
5. I am off all my meds,
6. I don't cringe when I walk past a mirror,
7.I don't have all the asthma attacks I used to have,
8. No more cpap,
9. I am willing to take pictures to show people,
10. I don't eat nearly as much as I used to...food just grosses me out.
Just a few of my WOW moments. Until we meet again next month.
Well all, I am officially a looser. I have hit the Onederlands and it feels marvelous. I am down to 194 now. I can wear a size 14 pants, a size medium shirts and now I need to go and have my rings resized so that they fit. My boobs are a bit saggy, but I guess I can live with that. It's all a part of the journey. I don't plan on having anymore surgery for right now (plastics), because after the problems I have had with the rny, I just don't think I can go through that again. Call me a chicken. I will be 3 mo. out from surgery on the 5 of Oct. I think I am a bit excited about that. I have lost a lot of weight and inches and have gone out and bought some pretty lingerie for daily wear of course. I think that I deserve to feel sexy for once in my life. I know that all of you can understand what I mean by that.I go back to the Dr. for my 3 month visit on the 6 of Oct. so I will find out how many inches I have lost since my last visit. I have had so much trouble getting in my protien, but I think I have finally got a way to get it in. I went to GNC and bought the liquid protien which gives me 18 grams of protien in 3 tblsp. I also started drinking the slim fast carb shakes (20 grams per) which aren't too bad. My hair hasnt started falling out thank God, but I am just waitin on the shedding to start. These are the things that I can do since my WLS.
1. I can walk almost 3-4 miles a day,
2. I can bend in ways I never thought I could,
3. I can get into a tub and NOT have to holler for help or have the water go over the sides,
4. I can paint my toenails,
5. I am off all my meds,
6. I don't cringe when I walk past a mirror,
7.I don't have all the asthma attacks I used to have,
8. No more cpap,
9. I am willing to take pictures to show people,
10. I don't eat nearly as much as I used to...food just grosses me out.
Just a few of my WOW moments. Until we meet again next month.
Getting off my meds...
Aug 18, 2005
August 19,2005
Well today was a good day, I went to see my pcp and he told me to stop taking my blood pressure meds. He took me off of them because I was having dizzy spells and major lightheadedness. Hooray... I am off every pill that I was taking except for my Advair for the asthma. This is too good to be true. I am so happy.
Well today was a good day, I went to see my pcp and he told me to stop taking my blood pressure meds. He took me off of them because I was having dizzy spells and major lightheadedness. Hooray... I am off every pill that I was taking except for my Advair for the asthma. This is too good to be true. I am so happy.
1 month weigh in
Aug 15, 2005
August 16,2005
I fogot to tell you all that when I went to my 1 month weigh in I lost a total of 40 lbs....YAY. That means between the pre-op and post-op weight loss I have lost 65 lbs. I am so proud of myself. And I can't wait to loose more.
I fogot to tell you all that when I went to my 1 month weigh in I lost a total of 40 lbs....YAY. That means between the pre-op and post-op weight loss I have lost 65 lbs. I am so proud of myself. And I can't wait to loose more.
Finally a looser
Jul 11, 2005
July 12,2005
Well all it"s oficial, I'M A LOSER...lol. I went to surgery on the 5 came through very well and was even up and walking the ward after. Dr. came in and told me she ran into a lot of open boewel area that had not been prepped, but was empty enough for her to complete the surgery, so she did. But she did warn me that I was going to have gas like I had never known before. Boy she was putting it mildly...I felt like I was gonna die. So by the next day, I was able to go for my swallow test....Had no leaks at all.....then she said you have a kink in your bowel......NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Not something you really want to hear not even 24 hours post-op. So she called my husband and told him that he needed to get there asap cause I had to go back to the table......things were moving so fast I almost don't remember. Next thing I knew I was in recovery with people asking me how I felt...DUH...I just had 2 surgeries in 24 hours....how do you think I feel. and F.Y.I. they do go back into the original lap openings for the revisions if they can. So then I had an adrenal gland issue and they couldnt get my heart rate below 150 casued from inability to make cortisol...least I think thats the name of it...so they put me on liquid prednisone. that was pretty fun with the morphine on top of it.....was seeing pretty pink and yellow bunnies...hey, we had a wonderful party in my head. Dr. took me off of it like the second day in icu. I was in a total of three. They let me out of icu on Sunday afternoon...and I got a private room. was kind of worth all the pain just for that. almost. Keep in mind this whole time I was not allowed to have any ice or water at all. talk about dry as the Sahara. but the swabbies with water and ice chips helped me a lot. but to bring it all home...I went for my swallow test again monday morning, and everything went through just the way it was suppose to. almost broke down in tears. I couldnt stop thanking God out loud. Nurses thought I was insane. They let me have a bari tray around noon , and it was pretty nice....didnt really want it though. But all went well otherwise, even with the setbacks, I had an awesome team of Dr's who took care of me and I do appreciate them for that. See ya soon folks.
Well all it"s oficial, I'M A LOSER...lol. I went to surgery on the 5 came through very well and was even up and walking the ward after. Dr. came in and told me she ran into a lot of open boewel area that had not been prepped, but was empty enough for her to complete the surgery, so she did. But she did warn me that I was going to have gas like I had never known before. Boy she was putting it mildly...I felt like I was gonna die. So by the next day, I was able to go for my swallow test....Had no leaks at all.....then she said you have a kink in your bowel......NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Not something you really want to hear not even 24 hours post-op. So she called my husband and told him that he needed to get there asap cause I had to go back to the table......things were moving so fast I almost don't remember. Next thing I knew I was in recovery with people asking me how I felt...DUH...I just had 2 surgeries in 24 hours....how do you think I feel. and F.Y.I. they do go back into the original lap openings for the revisions if they can. So then I had an adrenal gland issue and they couldnt get my heart rate below 150 casued from inability to make cortisol...least I think thats the name of it...so they put me on liquid prednisone. that was pretty fun with the morphine on top of it.....was seeing pretty pink and yellow bunnies...hey, we had a wonderful party in my head. Dr. took me off of it like the second day in icu. I was in a total of three. They let me out of icu on Sunday afternoon...and I got a private room. was kind of worth all the pain just for that. almost. Keep in mind this whole time I was not allowed to have any ice or water at all. talk about dry as the Sahara. but the swabbies with water and ice chips helped me a lot. but to bring it all home...I went for my swallow test again monday morning, and everything went through just the way it was suppose to. almost broke down in tears. I couldnt stop thanking God out loud. Nurses thought I was insane. They let me have a bari tray around noon , and it was pretty nice....didnt really want it though. But all went well otherwise, even with the setbacks, I had an awesome team of Dr's who took care of me and I do appreciate them for that. See ya soon folks.
Very nervous...
Jul 03, 2005
July 4,2005
Well all tomorrow is the big day, and the new begining of the rest of my life.I will finally be a big looser. I will post to let everyone know how im doing when I get home. Thanks for all of the wonderful support all of you have given me over the years. It has been a long road, but i'm finally nearing the end. see you soon.on the loosing side.
Well all tomorrow is the big day, and the new begining of the rest of my life.I will finally be a big looser. I will post to let everyone know how im doing when I get home. Thanks for all of the wonderful support all of you have given me over the years. It has been a long road, but i'm finally nearing the end. see you soon.on the loosing side.
Getting nervous....
Jun 26, 2005
June 27,2005
Well all, surgery is just 8 short days away, and I am getting so nervous. I'm not sleeping all that well either. I think the day of surgery I will sleep like a baby when they put me out. I just have that feeling that I keep forgetting to do stuff, and then I cant sleep. Mentally , I know everything is done, but you know it's kinda like taking a vacation,you always feel like you left the iron on, or left the stove on. I will be happy when this part is over. talk to ya soon.
Well all, surgery is just 8 short days away, and I am getting so nervous. I'm not sleeping all that well either. I think the day of surgery I will sleep like a baby when they put me out. I just have that feeling that I keep forgetting to do stuff, and then I cant sleep. Mentally , I know everything is done, but you know it's kinda like taking a vacation,you always feel like you left the iron on, or left the stove on. I will be happy when this part is over. talk to ya soon.
Got my weigh in day...
Jun 06, 2005
June 7,2005
Well all, I have my weigh in appt. on june 24. hopefully I won't gain any weight before surgery. I will also get my pre op instructions. Not looking forward to the clean out before surgery, but thats minor . My independence day is July 5, and I will be more than happy to give up a little food and some bowel for the chance to be smaller and healthier.
Well all, I have my weigh in appt. on june 24. hopefully I won't gain any weight before surgery. I will also get my pre op instructions. Not looking forward to the clean out before surgery, but thats minor . My independence day is July 5, and I will be more than happy to give up a little food and some bowel for the chance to be smaller and healthier.
I'M APPROVED...
May 23, 2005
May 24,2005
Well guess what all, I'M APPROVED.....this is finally gonna happen this time. I so can't believe it. I am so happy. Thanks for all the support.
Well guess what all, I'M APPROVED.....this is finally gonna happen this time. I so can't believe it. I am so happy. Thanks for all the support.
South Beach diet...
May 11, 2005
May 12,2005
Well all I have been on South Beach for about two months and I have lost a total of 20 lbs. yay for me. I also have good news, I GOT A SURGERY DATE....JULY 5,2005. I am scared and happy at the same time. my Dr is wonderful, I cant wait to get to the other side. talk to you all soon. and if anyone has any ideas for what I need to take with me please email me.
Well all I have been on South Beach for about two months and I have lost a total of 20 lbs. yay for me. I also have good news, I GOT A SURGERY DATE....JULY 5,2005. I am scared and happy at the same time. my Dr is wonderful, I cant wait to get to the other side. talk to you all soon. and if anyone has any ideas for what I need to take with me please email me.
About Me
Charlotte, NC
Location
32.0
BMI
Surgery
07/05/2005
Surgery Date
Dec 02, 2001
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
Pre-op photo. I look so bad like this.
270lbs
9 Mo. post op. feeling so much better
169lbs
