Nov 12, My sons 11th Bday today!!!

Nov 12, 2009

OMG!! So much has happened over the last few days, where do I begin?
On Monday broke up with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years.  It was bad and tramatic.  We both decided we just couldn't do it any longer.  But it took a fight for us to break up.  He moved out and took all his things. I threw away everything he left og his and cleaned until all signs of him were gone.  I moved furniture, traded beds with the spare room and invited my dogs back into my bed.  They had been banished to the downstairs for 4 years.  This 3 days before my sons bday.  He also took both cars and has left me walking.  Thank God when we moved last I moved .5 mile from work just in case.  But it getting cold damn it!! 
A couple weeks ago I met a man that continued to come into work and ask when I was calling him.  So broke down and called and we have kicked it off like I cant believe.  He is everything Jon wasnt.  I have already been out with him 2x and Jon took me out 3 times in 4 years.  Normal for others this is new and amazing for me.  We have already made plans to take my son and his daughter to the strip this weekend.  Jon never took my son anywhere, we had never done anything together.
My dilema with Jon was that he hated I had surgery and hated my new super skinny body.  I was too boney and it wasn't sexy.  But he loved me so it was what it was.  Now I am thinking about this new guy seeing my nasty shrunkin, bag of of skin and it scares the crap outta me.  I even bought a lil sexy number to hide the stomach and perk up the boobies.  I told him about my surgery only becasue he keeps inviting me for drinks and dinner.  So I had to explain why at lunch I had only a water and 1 chicken wing.  lol  He thinks its really cool what I have done and tells me how sexy I am and how he cant wait to show me off.  We have only known each other a short time but nakedness is for sure on its way.  As long as I stay on my back and keep the girls out of my armpits ill be ok.  I think?????????  OMG.

The Jon calls today, I changed my cell number and the locks.  he called work and asked if I wanted a car until we figured it out.  He thinks we are on a break.  But when he asks to come home I tell him no.  I need a car but I cant break down and use the car.  It is in my name but I think it will give him and the new guy a wrong message.  I was going to take my son for sushi today on his bday but now it is whatever is at home to eat.  Poor baby I owe him big time.

So now I have constant nose bleeds I have no idea why but I think it is my blood pressure but cant get to the dr.  I have dropped another 3 lbs.  I hate eating.  I like nothing and cant eat enough.  now I have to walk to work and try to make up the difference calories I am burning.  Its near impossible.   

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