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I havent had any serious relationships in a few years.  The last ones were in NYC, and not very long, but last night I had my first date in years!  I went to the movies with an elementary school music teacher.  He is so polite, nice, sweet, and talented.  He is so calm and laid back, he puts me at ease.  I was so impressed the night I met him, I cant believe he actually wanted to meet me again!  I cant believe someone as calm and giving would want to know me more....I am amazed at my life now.  I am truly living.  ( And I wouldn't mind if he called me again ;)  )This has been the best gift I have ever had.  I feel like I am getting a new shot at life, and MAN, is it GOOD! 

Last night I was out and had a group of boys, well, young men, approach me and ask if they could have their photo taken with me.  We were at a bar and they were having a bachelor party.  Why? I asked...one guy said, "cause on his list of things to do tonight, he has to have a picture taken with a hot girl and you are gorgeous."  Wow...is this my life?  Really?  I thought they were kidding.  Looks like they werent.  I had 2 other guys fighting to walk me to my car.  This is getting to feel like I am living someone else's life.  Freak'n crazy.  WOW....

I bought size 12 jeans and black pants this week.  Havent had this size on since I was in the 9th grade.  Crazy feeling.  I had a 24 yr old golf pro ask me out today, told me I was completely sexy.  WOW.  Life is a changing!

wow, i cant believe it.  I have gotten back into my high school cheerleading uniform and its too big for me.  I never thought I would see the day.  My body isnt like it used to be though, I am smaller in some places(waist and face), but lumpy in others (arms and inner thighs).  IBefore I was just toned and even everywhere. I guess until I get to my final weight, it will take a while for everything to shift around and re-group.  I am still very excited about it.  I can cross my legs so comfortably.  It such a simple thing, but so satisfying.  I will never go back.  I am so much happier now.  It has changed my life.   

Yesterday, I went to the Gap, tried on the XL, L, then Mediums.  I asked the guy why all the stuff was on sale.  Was it b/c it was all miss-sized?  He said, "Seriously, are you kidding?".  I had gotten into size MEDIUM TOPS.  I bought 4 shirts.  Then I went to Forever 21, which I have never been into in my life.  I tried on 4 tops and bought 1, a size Large.  I was trying on the jewelry, and all of the bracelets fit my arm.  I asked the girl at the counter if they ran large, she said no, um, tiny.  Then it hit me.  I used to have to buy bracelets just b/c they fit and never could find any, all of these fit.  The clothes fit too,  They werent miss-sized, I was now a NEW size.  I lost it.  I hysterically cried in the jewelry section of Forever 21, surrounded by waify,15 yr old teeny bops.  What a moment I was having.  THis was the first time since I can EVER remember, even middle school, where I didnt have to shop at Lane Bryant.  

So then, I came to work today, and was telling my manager, who had RNY surgery 2 yrs ago, and she said to me, "Even if I could fit a Meduim, I wouldnt buy it, b/c I dont want tight clothes, I like my clothes to fit.  I know you like fashion, but tight doesnt mean it fits."  EXCUSE ME@!!!!#@#!#!@  First of all, My clothes are FALLING off of me, and she is just pissed she only lost 60 lbs from RNY b/c she eats jelly beans and potato chips all day.  I have lost in 3.5 mths what she did lose in 2 yrs.  She corrects me all the time about my eating habbits, that I shouldnt snack, etc.  I am eating fat free cheese slices, yet she eats quesadillas, cake, etc.  I am soooo PISSED!  DONT RAIN ON MY PARADEEEE!!!!!  Anyway, had to let this off my chest.

Amazing how people change once you have surgery and you start looking BETTER than they do! huh!

I am very excited today!  I hit the -60 lb mark!  I have done this in 3.5 mths.  I kayak, bike ride, do yoga, and see my trainer 2 days a week.  I am SOOO active now and loving life!  I cant wait to see whats next!

 I was so worried about the seats on the airplane, cause I always have been tightly squeezed in there.  Usually I sit down and my legs are so wide, they push the arm rests up so I have to constantly press down on them so they wont ride up.  Also, I have to take a big breath and buckle my seat belt, praying that it will click.

NOT THIS TIME!  I sat down lowered the arm rest and thought, "Did US Air get bigger seats in coach?"  I couldnt believe that I had room on either side of my legs and didnt hit the arm rests with my fat thighs!   I went to buckle my seat belt and had to pull it tight!  Could NOT believe it!  I could even cross my legs in my seat!

I asked my friend where she got all the skinny mirrors in her apartment.  She laughed and said, "They arent skinny mirrors!  Thats really you!"  I couldnt believe my eyes.  My body still thinks I am fat and reaches for the fat panties, plus size clothing, etc.

This has been an amazing ride!  Well worth every bit of it!

Wow, I am wearing a pair of pants today I havent worn in 7 years, and yes I still have them!  I got into them 1 time and the next day grew out of them!  THey were so expensive I kept them for the dream of getting into them again.  Well, today they have seen the light of day again!  No more Plus size clothes, lane bryant or big bras!

I bought new Bras at Victorias Secret This week and 5 new pairs of underwear!  The first Time in 8 years! WOHOOOOO!!

This weekend, I went out on a boat with 2 guys and a girl, she of course in her bikini.  I didnt feel slef counscious at all.  OK, maybe for a sec, but I GOT OVER IT!  I would have never done this before...taken off my cover up to bare all!  AND I DID!  WOW, how liberating to not be ashamed of your body.  I have truly been given a great gift.  How wonderful life can really be!  I now know!  It can only get better!  

For the first time in 10 years, I saw a picture of myself this week and thought, "Thats how I feel I look inside!"  All of these years  I would see this fat person in the pictures and say, "Who is that?  NOT ME!"   I finally look on the outside the way I feel on the inside...amazing.

Why I chose RNY?

I thought I was going to have the Lap Band and went in for the consult.  After listening to the surgeon explain I had to get fills, the cost of the fills, the slippage problems, how I could cheat the band with milkshakes (my downfall), I knew RNY was for me.  I had heard and been educated on what to expect, but it didnt click with me til after surgery.  The first 3 weeks, I thought, What the hell have I done to myself?  I couldnt eat anything my friends were eating, no desserts or alcohol...I had mourning for food, its like someone close to me had died.  After week 5, I realized I hadnt had a nap in a week (I usually took at least a 2 hr nap EVERY DAY).  Now, I cant even sleep 8 hrs.  I get up at 7 am, full of energy, ride my bike for an hr around the beach, come home, take a shower, work all day, then go to the gym, play tennis or yoga at night.  I am actually LIVING now!  Its so hard to understand presurgery, but there are stores I didnt go to, things I didnt do, etc b/c of the way I looked.  Now, I dont even think about that.  I go anywhere!  I sign up for everything!!!  Sure I take vitamins now everyday, but I am healthier now than I EVER was before.  I ate fast food 1 or 2 times A DAY.  I havent touched that stuff since surgery and never would again.  I crave healthy foods now...so odd.  I love cold sliced tomatoes, something I hated before.  The smell of fried food makes me vomit.  This has been the best decision of my life. I wish I had done it sooner.
I have lost 50 lbs in 2 mths, from a size 18 to 14.  I no longer have arthritis and my joints feel great!  
You have to be mentally ready to change.  Its a life change.  YOu are no longer living to eat, but eating to live.  Unless you want to be healthier and change your life, it wont happen, with our without surgery.  Good luck with your decision.

WOW!  I cant believe it.  I have acutally gone down to a size XL top at the Gap and no more plus sizes!  I have gotten into my size 16 Tommy Hilfiger pants and feel great!  I cant believe I have lost this weight.  I dont eat hardly anything, and carbs are GROSE to me, but I am now drinking coffee, which I couldnt handle before  due to anxiety and have it every day!  I am living off of popsicles and granola!  Life is good....