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Down 27 lbs in 4 weeks...never had that happen before.  Life is good.  Tofu has been my friend for the past few days and then it turned my tummy tonight and I had to go get some plain mashed potatoes from KFC.  I cant wait to see the weight loss after next month!

Wow!  Its not even a month and I am down 26 lbs.  I am so excited about my progress.  I have run into a few emotional glitches since I cant really eat what I used to and it has been hard and depressing.  I am learning to eat all over again.  I dont think I fully comprehended this before surgery.  I was so glazed over by the thought of losing weight I missed all the details.  I have learned that I absolutely can NOT drink and eat at the same time, or I vomit.  I have to stop at the first sign of possibly being full or I will regret it for an hr with pain and probably will vomit.  Bland foods are great.  Foods I used to love like pizza and chocolate ( I had a bite of each) didnt taste the same and I am not interested in it anymore.  THings have really changed.  I really understand the thoughts of Living to Eat vs. Eating to Live. 

Today marks my 2 weeks out of surgery and I am down 19 lbs.  I already feel so much better and can tell such a difference.  I feel so skinny already!  It has been a tough 2 weeks.  I want to eat, but cant.  Scrambled eggs hurt.  I still need to be eating softer foods and I am constantly trying to drink my protein drinks which take me all day.  An average day consists of eating half of a scrambled egg, 2 bits of mushed peas, 2-3 steamed carrots, 2-3 bites of tuna and a popsicle (sugar free, 15 calories).  I get a little down in the dumps when I dont see the scale move because I feel like I am starving myself to death, but am not hungry.  My little pouch can only hold so much.  It was really hard for me this week at the wine tasting at work.  Everyone was drinking wine, laughing, and eating food.  I couldnt have any of it and kind of flipped a little.  I didnt realize it would be this difficult, but I armed myself with a cooler and headed to Hannahs where everyone was drinking and I made myself pureed watermelon drinks and felt like i was part of the party.  It even grosed me out to see how drunk everyone was getting. Man, I am glad I dont get wasted like that every week anymore.  I am glad I made the change.

This week I have been pretty upbeat until yesterday when I wondered what the hell have I done to myself.  I was pretty nausiated from all the milk products(protein intake).  Today I am going to re-evaluate and figure out a way to get in all that protein without as much milk as possible.  

Its amazing how little food I can put in.  After 2 oz of water, I am bloated and ful like Thanksgiving dinner!  I am worried that I am not getting enough nutrients, etc, but I have to listen to my body and not compare myself to others that have gone down this path.  I talked to Ashley Butler this week who gave me hope.  She is down from a size 24 to a size 2/4.  Amazing!

My stomach rumbles like there are ancient pipes in there that have never been used.  The noise and vibration wakes me up thoughout the entire night.  I have to remember my stomach is like a new born baby and needs lots of little feedings. My stomach is like the aquarium, with lots of attentive fish inside needing food...lol

 I am sooooo excited!  I am leaving in 10 min for the hospital.  What a life changing event this will be.  I cant even imagine it.  Havent had any water today and no food, no food yesterday either.  I have my magazines, pj's, knitting needles, yarn, a pillow and mom...so I am ready to go! 

I have no idea what to expect.  I like to be in control of everything.  The one thing that has been out of control my whole life has been my weight and I am ready to get it in check.  Starting tomorrow I will have started on the journey to take back control of my weight.  It has been so hard for me to lose weight.  This constant struggle/battle has made me give up.  Tomorrow there will be hope.  
My best friend wouldnt go with me to my favorite restaurant on my last day of "real food".  I was soooo upset.  Today she called and I told her I was only allowing my mom to be with me at the hospital and she hurried and hung up on me.  I am not sure what other changes will take place after this surgery, but I know I will not put up with any more hateful people and ugly comments in my life.  I have been dealing with enough ugliness and rude comments and treatment from people because of my weight my entire life and I will never allow someone to make me feel inferior again.  This is a new beginning for me.  I am ready for the change.

All day on liquids...I am hungry as hell.  I started my period today.  Figures.  I hope all will be better soon.

I just found out my surgery date is March 3rd and I start my diet tomorrow.  I am so excited I have butterflies in my stomach...just like when I use to be getting ready to meet a boyfriend!  WOW!  This is my last night of beers...so I am going home to fix spahetti and drink a cold one!  Wohooo!  I am so excited about this journey.  I have the energy inside of me right now to run the loop at Wrightsville Beach.  Wow...I really cant believe this is happening.  I wonder how I will look when this is all over?

You know, I have always been chubby, so in the back of my mind I keep thinking this is is like the carb diet or something that will last for a week and not work.  I am SOOOO ready to be shocked by the results and be proud of myself and my hardwork!  BRING IT ON!!!