lilmiss6678
rambling hello's. =) im a little chatty cathy today.
Jul 23, 2009
I just ate soooo much ommggg. ok maybe not a lot, but i totally am full. i HATE feeling full! =)
hmm, so...lets see. My life is going soo many different directions, all at once.
I changed my number and cut off communication with the <3 of my life, and let me tell u that didnt last long, he got my cell somehow, emails me at work, and has 'accidently' run into me at the gym. Although he acts totally 'over me'. which feels kinda good.
I dont see him and long for him anymore. I see him and I tell myself I finally let it go.
I told myself I only lost the pieces of me that held me back, and I gained the strength to move forward. I gained the strength to take this next step of my life, and I am SOO thankful! =)
I have met some great people here on this site and I am SO glad to have them to talk to! I am just saying,
If Jacquie lived here in CA we could prob get into a bit of trouble! =) (girlfriend you make me lauuugh!)
and others who are just so friendly and honest to give an opinion.
I got a slap on the wrist at work, and now I have a 'schedule' haha. I dont mind it though, I get to come in at 830 now. (better than5,6,7am) =) i love sleeep! =) and morning workouts!
I am cutting back my salon days again- but I am going ot more education, my passion to learn and develop in the industry has been set on fire again recently! ;) because I feel good. and I can look good again too!
I have tons of support from the people around me, and i am working hard to better myself!
hmm. For lunch today I had chicken and peruano beans (boiled with salt) hello protein- can i have my hair back? jeez!
the hair loss, its slowed down (this week) but i have been sooo tired. I need to check my labs and see what the status is. haha.
I bet im anemic.
I am happy for the most part, and I am full of piss and vinegar. Just, sometimes I get a little lonely. Not for the ex, but for comfort. everyhting is changing sooo fast, and th epoeple around me are going their own ways in life..myself included. its just everyhting that ever comforted me before, isnt there anymore.
food, gone.
alcohol, mostly gone.
ex, mostly gone. (he was gone while he was still here- shit!) lmao.
friends, (married, kids, moving, graduating, drunk hot messes)
dogs (..sad to say are gone now too)
its so new to be just taking care of myself. and its so much less stressful. I cut out a lot of 'drama' and being the scapegoat for people. i dont care anymore. if you dont like me. so be it. and luckily people are seeing who I really am.. does anyone ever feel like being fat made it easier to be a scapegoat? to tbe the person that always took the heat- and because u were already low on yuourself u just took it or tried ot fix the issue? ok- so im totally rambling. but whatev.
hmm. i did pilates last night and fyi- my legs hurt soo bad, and! i have calf muscles! =) i can see the shape of them- FINALLY! =) although the sad news is i sitll have cankles- prob always will.
I got a new bible last week. I understand it, and with a lot of prayer (yah, im blunt and a little out there, but i believe in God, and his son Jesus Christ.) I am starting to see things the way I should. Believe it or not, even a little jaded. my heart is pure! im just goofy. =)
the other sweet update- im 164lbs right now. i been fluctuating up and down 5-6 lbs the last week or so. weird. i started doing some weight training, but im pretty sure its NOT muscles!
hmm, Lots of road trips lately. SF, Santa Cruz, Sac, Fresno, Yosemite, Lakes lakes lakes, beaches. =) I usually do this stuff though, and I went shopping with my skinny perfect little girlfriends- and I could buy clothes where they did- and it felt good. One friend handed me a pair of 11's at forever 21, and they fit- a little lose through the waist but NOT the thighs. damn saddle bags!. (they didnt clap in the dressing room that day either!)
Hooraayy!!
So- sorry I am so chatty! everyone fill me in on your lives! =)
add me on the space or FB.
www.myspace.com/effinsnax
www.facebook.com/effinsnax
