llben79
It's official!!
Feb 19, 2008
I have a developed quite the pet peeve. And I'm going to rant about it. Sorry!
I was all excited last night to try to run again after I was done with the elliptical. Well, for the entire 40 minutes that I was on the elliptical, I was watching these two girls p a t h e t i c a t t e m p t at a "workout". I watched them do their rounds on various machines, getting on for about 30 seconds, and then getting off. Not even putting any weight on the machine, talking, laughing, draping their arms or legs over the machine, talking on the phone. Walking all over the room aimlessly, stopping to look at a machine, or sit down on it, do 3 reps, and get off and say they were tired. TIRED???? Ok I am sitting here sweating my ass off, completely out of breath, and they are over there in their ridiculous booty shorts that they have NO BUSINESS wearing, and their skin tight T shirt that would fit my six year old, with a couple of fat rolls hanging out, and they say that they are tired?!?!?!
Then it happened. They stopped amusing me, and they pissed me off.
I was done with the elliptical, and was going to the other room to get the spray to wipe it down, and then get on the treadmill for another ten minutes and run. Good plan, right?! WRONG!! Those two little hoochie whositcallits cut me off midstride, and hop on the last two free treadmills!!!!!!!! After 40 minutes of just effing around!!! ARGH!!! So I went into the other room to watch them for a little while, thinking that they would get off in 30 seconds or so and say they were tired. Well they sauntered at such a slow pace my 90 year old gramma would have told them to get movin, as she ran circles around them.!!!
Well then I ran out of time and had to go. So I didn't run last night. I was very disappointed. Oh well. So there you have it folks, my new pet peeve...To all those little hoochies that like to pretend to workout to impress whatever guys are in the gym at the time, if you're gonna work out, then work out. Don't hold up the machines so that those of us who are actually doing it get screwed. Thanks!!! Oh, and PS! If you only heard the guys talking about how ridiculous you looked, you would have wanted to crawl into a hole and die!!!! That was the funniest part about it!!!!
Onederland??????
Feb 18, 2008
But if I really am, then HOLY CRAP!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I did something last night that I never thought I could do...and that I have not done for as long as I can EVER remember....
I was on the elliptical last night working my ass off, and then at the end of my workout, I thought, what the hell, I'm going to try it....
I got on the treadmill, and I ran. I RAN.
I ran for 3 w h o l e m i n u t e s !!!!!
I could not run for 30 seconds before...I could not run for 30 feet before!!! I am just astounded at how awesome it felt to run for that long!!! I still felt the ass bouncing a step behind me, but not as bad as before!!!
I'm gonna try again tonight and see what happens!!! hehehehe
3 MONTHS OUT TODAY!!
Feb 13, 2008
Holy crap 3 months goes fast!!!
I'm down 46 pounds officially, and once again, the scale is stuck at 200. What a terrible number!!!! LOL. I'm SSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOO close to being in Onderland, and I have not seen that place in about 10 years!!!! I'm so close it's just so maddening!! I wonder how long it will be stuck here...lol. But hey, that's 46 pounds in 3 months, so I know that is nothing to be discouraged about.
Oh well. I know I am doing things right. I have been to the gym EVERY single day this week so far, and for the past 2 days, I have burned 500 calories in 45 minutes!!! I went to level 9 last night on the elliptical, and had a really hard, sweaty workout. I still manage to workout at least 4-5 times a week, if not at the gym, then at home.
I am doing better on getting in my fluids. At least 1.5 liters I am up to. I still need more, but this is the most I have been able to do.
I still need more calories, I am sure of it. It's such a weird concept that I actually need MORE food. I was bad last night though, I had 1/2 of a dinner biscuit. BAD CARBS!!! I didnt' get sick, but I was very disappointed in myself.
I have found a veggie burger that is really good, I love the taste. It is very low fat, about 10-15g protein, and about 8 carbs. I try to only have one a day because of the carbs, but I find that I am opting more for the vegetarian sources of protein, in an attempt to stay away from the fats. I still love my meat, though, I just find that if I am going to eat anything like meatloaf or hamburgers, I want to prepare it myself so I know that it is the leanest possible. What a change from my old self. I would have turned my nose up at anything vegetarian before, lol.
I have come to the conclusion that I really need to go talk to a counselor or therapist or something. I have many emotional issues that I am dealing with, and I know that I have an emotional connection to food that I need to get a handle on. Not that I eat uncontrollably anymore, but I WANT to. This surgery is FORCING me to eat in moderation, and FORCING me to think healthy. I have to. Or this was for nothing.
I am very thankful for the fact that my body no longer aches everyday, and when I get up in the morning, I am not limping around for the first hour!! And you know what I did last weekend that I NEVER would have done before?!?! The BF and I took our kids to Skateland!! Yes, I went rollerblading!!! And did not fall! It was my very first time ever on rollerblades, and I had not been rollerskating period since I was about 12 years old. It was so cute watching my daughter try to rollerskate!!! We are going to make it at least a monthly trip, it was fun. The place was tacky, but fun, nontheless!
And you know what else was funny?! I was in the mall with my 6 year old, and she started complaining that she didn't want to walk anymore, she was tired and wanted a stroller. I looked at her, and said, "if I"M NOT tired, then you certainly have no business being tired. Quit your complaining and walk, it's good for you. Just wait until this summer when I drag you out on the bike all the time. You'll hate me then!!" She just rolled her eyes and said with a gruff, "Great...." LOLOLOL
I know I have been saying this forever, but I AM going to make sure some 3 month pics get up here. I still hate taking pictures, I know that I have lost weight, but I still hate how I look in pictures. That will be a struggle for a long time, I know that.
All in all, stalls and all, it's been a good 3 months. I think my goal from here on in is just to lose at least 10 pounds a month. I really want to hit my goal weight within a year of surgery, and if I could hit it by the end of summer (at least lose 80-90 pounds by my bday, which would be 8 months out), that would be fantastic. So that's it. 10 pounds a month and I will not be angry with myself. Here's hoping my body cooperates!
Head hunger???
Feb 07, 2008
6oz protein shake w/skim milk
1/2 high protein veggie burger w/little melted cheddar
1/4c of tuna fish w/lite mayo
3-5 reduced fat whole wheat triscuits and reduced fat PB
AcheiveOne
Not bad, right?
Usually once I take 2 bites, I'm full and don't want it anymore. Plus, I'm sipping water all day. But once I get HOME, holy sh** do I want to eat everything!!!! The hunger begins when I even get within A MILE of my house. Then, the rest of the night, I just WANT TO EAT!!!! Sometimes I'm a little hungry, but most of the time, not. I just want to find things in the fridge to eat. Don't get me wrong, I have been being good and not giving in, but why the heck do I feel like this? Is this the HEAD HUNGER that everyone keeps talking about?? What do I do? I have gotten to the point where I don't even want to be home, because I know that if I am home, I'm going to be obsessed with wanting to eat!!! I try redirecting my attention, but it doesn't always work. It's like there is a constant struggle within myself to stay out of the kitchen.
Should I be going to a therapist about emotional eating issues???
Spoke too soon...
Feb 05, 2008
I actually think I finally got in my 64 ounces for the first time!!!!
Ok, back to today. My frustration throughout the day led me to do massive amounts of pushups, stomach crunches, back leg-lifts, and biceps/triceps/shoulders today AT WORK!!! LOL! At least I can get away with it. Then I went to the gym when I got home. Only for 30 minutes, that's all I could spare. But my god did I beat up that elliptical machine. I think the guy next to me was wondering why the hell I was moving so fast. I had never gone that fast before. About 117rpm on level 8. Can we say AGGRESSION?!?!? LOL. Anyway. I'll go back tomorrow for my regular 45 min to an hour.
Tonight I started trying on some old clothes. I actually fit into an OLD pair of NY & Co. size 16 capris!!!! There were some other clothes that I have not worn in a LOOOOONNNNNGG time that I fit into!! So I guess that makes the whole scale being a jerk thing a little better!!
The real test will be what size can I fit into of jeans that aren't the stretchy kind! I'm not quite ready for that yet. Maybe another month I'll try it, LOL.
I'm going to start making mini-goals, I think. I'll work on that tomorrow:) It's gotta help me a little. I need to find some way to speed up the loss a little bit. Maybe the mini-goals will help keep me focused. Who knows, worth a try!
Oh yeah, and the BF thing?!? All I have to say is things are different somehow. He seems so much moodier and is still making snide remarks about my surgery. Oh well. One day at a time. I love him, but I'm not fighting for him. Now it is time for ME. I'm sick of pleasing everyone else.
Till later...:)
204 this morning...
Feb 03, 2008
My boyfriend FINALLY said to me yesterday..."hey honey...I think your getting smaller" DUH!!! It only took 42 pounds for you to notice!!!! Although now he did say that he is a little put out because he thinks that I CHOOSE to go to the gym over spend time with him. He said that he doesn't like how "busy" I am now. All I have to say is Oh FREAKIN' well! Maybe he should get off his ass and come to the gym WITH me!!! Now there's a thought!
Only 4 more pounds till Onderland!!!!
Trudging through...
Jan 28, 2008
I have been running all over creation, plus I worked ALL weekend, AND my kid is pretty sick. I have been sooooooo tired that I have not gone to the gym in the AM like I have been, and as a matter of fact I have not made it to the gym...today will be 4 days!! AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!! I'm just so damn tired!! I need to force myself even though I'm dragging a$$, but geez.
The clinic I work in slows down during the afternoon. So, I brough my portable DVD player, and I'm going to lock myself in one of our empty rooms this afternoon, and try to do one of my workout videos. How pathetic is that?!?!
Oh well, like my daughter's favorite cartoon character says..." Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...swimming, swimming, swimming...!!"
Stuck again...
Jan 28, 2008
So how about my skinny little sister made a comment to me the other day...she was looking at my before pics that I took the night before surgery. She said that the shelf on the back of my ass is gone...(well, not quite). So that is cool. But then, she made a comment on how long my hair is getting. She goes..."Your getting skinnier, with long hair again...I don't know if I like this...lol".
I guess she has always been used to being the smaller, "more-noticed" one, and I've just always been the "fat" sister. All I have to say is...Look out sista! Here I come! hehe
First WOW moment....lol!!!
Jan 23, 2008
I can kinda cross my legs now!!!! LMAO!! Well, it's not as comfortable as it should be, but I noticed that I crossed my legs today, and my leg didn't fall back down to the ground. Silly, I know. I still have a LONG way to go, but I can cross my legs!!! hehehe
Good times...
Jan 20, 2008
40 minutes on the fat burning program on the elliptical, level 7. My HR averaged between 165-172. I have noticed that I am getting more accustomed to the workouts, as even though I still sweat like crazy, I'm not SOAKED like I was before.
I went out Saturday night....wore a shirt that I had not worn in SEVERAL years. It was a NY &Co. xl!!!! ANd it fit! Also, I had to go get new work pants on Friday. I went to Fashion Bug and for the first time was NOT in the plus section!!!! Granted, I still got Misses XL, but at least it wasn't PLUS!!!!
Weight is still coming off very slow. But it's still coming off. I'm getting a little concerned about my arms. I am afraid of getting those darn 'BATWINGS'. So, if anyone has any suggestions on fighting those ugly doozies, please let me know!!!!
