3 months already?

Sep 20, 2009

Wow! I've survived 1/4 of a year with this weird apparatus in my abdomen! I'm down to around 230.5 (give or take, ha!) My weight loss has definitely slowed. I had a stall around 240 lbs. I'm not sure why. I stopped weighing daily (or multiple times a day) and I went back to my 3-4 lbs/week. I need to relax about all of this. I had a miserable time keeping food down yesterday. It was sausage, hot dogs, cake. All fabulous food choice, I know. I finally had a can of chili for dinner and was pretty happy.

My head is still messed up about food. I want to eat. I want to eat bad foods. Oddly, I'm terrified of pasta so that hasn't been a problem for me. I really want meat. But I choke on meat. And then I'm hungry two hours later. I shouldn't bitch about this. I'm losing weight like a champ. I can easily job (4 mph) for 3 miles without feeling like I will die. This morning I was tempted to go up on speed a little. I'm changing. My body is shaping up, the skin isn't too bad. I'm almost down 90 lbs. Think about it - that's huge! I can remember that day in June when I was sitting with James at Arboretum, crying because insurance wouldn't cover it and he said I should do it anyway - all $12,000 of it. 

I've come to grips with some reality like "no bread - ever" and "no pasta - ever" and why bother going to eat Italian (ever). I have a flat ass; that hasn't changed. I have weird arms. That's new. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster that is going too fast and I'm waiting for my stomach to catch up with it.

So my son turned 5 today. The last time I was un-obese was right before I got pregnant with him. My birthday is in two weeks. I'll be 42. The first 5K I ever ran was on my birthday, 6 years ago. I remember running it and thinking that I could have run a 10K. I think I might be back there.

0 Comments