sallyj

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Just finished a meeting with some of the rudest, crankiest, and disingenuous people I know.  So I get back to my desk and my first thought is, "what do I have here to eat?"  Good grief!  What a reflex.  I must put a stop to that thinking.  

Time for a breathing break instead.  I've started taking some yoga sessions--in prep for a 'newbies' class--and realized, yet again, what a shallow breather I am.  This was always a problem with swimming, and now I wonder if it is part of why I can have problems coming out of anesthesia.  So I am working on breathing deeply, but it is a challenge because it doesn't feel natural.  

I'm going to start a i-rest yoga class on Sunday to bridge between my last private session yesterday and the class that starts the 29th.  Part of my intent is just to keep with doing something 'yoga', but part is also to see if I can learn some tricks that will be useful when I can't sleep.  (Last night I got a Iowa wrong number call at 1 a.m.--that makes it 3 a.m. there, so I'm guessing the caller wasn't 100% sober.)  It took me a bit longer than I'd like to fall back asleep.  So maybe this restfulness can be a new tool.

Well, I'm over the meeting--and no calories were harmed in the process--so back to work.

I cant' believe it has been yet another year since I updated.  I have continued to gain a bit more hear and there, but have put a stop to that!  I started working out at a boxing-based fitness club.  I have come to the conclusion I simply have to have someone to work with me when I exercise--that accountability is key for me.  the fellow who trains me is very kind and tolerant of my limitations.  I've been doing it for about six months now and even I can see a difference.  

Interestingly, I find that the exercise isn't really all that key for weight loss.  I know that muscle burns calories more effectively, so that is a good thing, but by itself, it wasn't taking the weight off.  Which is okay as my goal was to build strength and balance.  But since I started foregoing the sweets and watching my diet more, the weight is coming off.  

As part of the accountability thing, I decided to start attending a TOPS meeting for the weight loss.  I can't say it is a very meaningful experience at this point in time.  There are five other ladies, one younger but all the other's older, who have been a part of it for quite some time from what I understand.  I would say they are all in the 250+ range.  None of them seem all that serious about weight loss.  They spend most of the time in a disorganized mess of little contests and record keeping.  Lots of noise and confusion but no program or even discussion of weight loss strategies.  I've attended three meetings so far, including the first open house one.  But it is close--only five minutes--inexpensive--$5 a month--and gives me that required weigh in.  So I will use it as I need it, but I'm not looking for anything meaningful from it.

My goal is to be under 200 by the first of the year.  So that means I need to be prepared for the holidays.  Need to keep away from the baked goods.

I'm also participating in our Wellness challenge at work, so that's another source of accountability.  

Well, I've been back on track for 25 days and doing generally good.  I've decided to weigh just on the 1st and 15th of each month.  Part of that is to avoid the pitfalls of diappointment when I don't see the rewards for the efforts and part is to help normalize being on track.  I thought about that last night.  It is easier to see the eating mindfully as a strategy for weight loss than an neverending behavior.  But that is what it needs to become.  Part of this comes from having hit the point where the "excitement" of eating right has worn off.  Now it is just the slog. 

And next week I'm heading to Florida for vacation.  My goal is to keep meals small even if the calorie count goes up:).  And to try to not do too much damage.  That's one reason why weighing myself on the first should help--provides me with a pre-vacation bench mark.

When signing on, I took a moment to look at some of the before/after pictures, and that was really encouraging.  I know no one where I currently live has ever seen my before photos, so I probably just look overweight to them.  But I know--as the photos reminded me--of where I started.  And even if I am never the medical goal weight, I know that I am so much better off.  And while I may not like the look and/or size of my body, again, compared to where I was, all is well.  I just need to do my part to keep it well.

I can't believe how long it has been since I posted.  My have things changed.  I have moved to Washington state, taken a new job (which I love), and unfortunately, put on another 10 pounds.

But, I am back, yet again, trying to get it off.  This time I am exchanging food tracking with a good friend so that gives me some accountability.  I don't know what it is that turns motivation on and off, but right now it is on, so I'm going to go with it.  The fruits around here are great, so they are easy to eat (sometimes too easy), but I still have less interest in the proteins.  The more I learn about animal production, the less I want to buy grocery store products.  But there are a lot of good local producers I can buy from even if some of the cuts are quite what I want.  and of course they are more expensive--understandably so--so I really do need to plan ahead and buy wisely.  I am trying to eat more fish so that should counter the red meat. 

And speaking of fish, I get to call into "America's Test Kitchen Radio" to ask a question about fish and recipes that can be reheated.  I submitted it via email a while back and they selected it for the program.  So in a couple of weeks, I get to talk with them.  What fun.  Now I have to find the question as sent and be prepared not to sound like a doofus when they call!  I can't many recipes for which the leftover fish is any good.  and I hate buying 1/4 lb. of fish at a time nor are many recipes designed for that.

I did try the local support group when I got here, but I wasn't impressed.  They only meet once a month--not enough for the effort.  So I'm thinking of trying to start one.  I'll post something here on the Washington site and see if there is any interest. 

Well, I just did an update, but it didn't post.  That's frustrating.  Let's try this again.

Here I am again, getting back on track. I've learned that I need to control my environment if I can't control my eating. So, avoid food situations where I will be too tempted. I've got the book club breakfast coming up tomorrow with pancakes and maple syrup, but I’ve planned for that. The day will be on the high end of my range, but I will make sure to have a low end Sunday.

I'm also working on "eating the kitchen"--using what I already have in the pantry and freezer rather than buying new things. It's not too difficult with the protein, but I'm going to have to allow myself some leeway with fruits and dairy and recipe specific ingredients.

I’ve started using a new online tracking tool since it has an iPad app.  I like it so far.  After reading a couple of postings about the high estimation for the RMR, I found a couple of other online calculators to do some comparison. I do suspect the one on here is high. The other two were significantly lower. So I am going to set mine (in my own mind) at 1721 with my BMR at 1818. That is based on age, sex, weight, and height. If I can create a 15 to 20% calorie deficit, I should be able to make my weight loss goal of 30 lbs. in 6 months. I know that doesn't sound like a lot compared to others on who have more aggressive timelines, but I am aiming for something I can actually do and maintain. That's just one pound a week average. And with my hormones running wacky, it will be tough enough as is.

Depending on how it goes this month, I might schedule a personal BMR test with the nutritionist. I might want to do that anyway when I get halfway to goal to see if I need to make changes to lower my intake.

So, to create the a 20% deficit, I should be taking in 1377 calories. That does not include any additional exercise. Which, actually is a good thing. That way the exercise is 1) bonus and 2) more about general health than weight loss. Which, at the level I move, is more appropriate.

I have also decided to weigh every other day. That way I get a better trend line (more data points) without overdoing it.

Still up and down on the scale--very frustrating--but I can tell the difference in my clothes.  So I know things are better but in the one measure, nothing.  So I am tracking my food more specifically and find that it is easier for me to keep the calories down than the carbs down.  I'm generally below 40 but not by much.  The calories are around 1200.  And I'm getting in about 4 hours of exercise a week. 

Fortunately, the March business trip will be the last for a while.  Those are tough sometimes.  But even with those I've been pretty good.  I seem to have days I get off track every ten days or so.  If I can just extend that a bit each time, maybe I can build some momentum.  I'm adding more veggies--cauliflower and broccoli slaw right now--into my meals so I hope that will help.  And sugar free jello is now my go to sweet (now that I discovered adding 1/4 cup more water takes away the "twang").  And I'm refocusing on getting the water in.  Used to not be a problem, but I let that slip.  I have to admit, I enjoyed not having to worry about peeing all the time!  But maybe that will help the increased constipation.

There's only ten more weeks of the challenge, so that gives me just ten weeks to lose 5-7 lbs.  And with the way I am going, that is going to be rough. 

Ack!  Down two pounds then up one and a half:(.   Okay, what to do?  Need to analyze this; 

1) Not getting enough water?  Probably.  I'll try drinking the vitamins to increase my water consumption
2) Getting enough protein?  Maybe?  Need to be more intentional and weigh things again
3) Snacking?  Yes, sometimes out of habit rather than hunger.  Quit it!
4) Getting in enough calories?  Not always sure.  I need to pay attention to this.  Especially with the increased exercise.

Now the challenge is to not go off my eating plan this weekend and while out of town next week.  I have a book group lunch Saturday, which will not be low-carb friendly, and then I'll be traveling Monday and Tuesday.  I was able to do well the last trip I took, so that means I can do it. 

I'm just wondering if this low-carb route is the right one for me.  I don't think I'm overdoing the calories--except when I go nuts with the nuts for snacks.  Mabye I need to pay attention to both calories and carbs. 

Sigh, weight loss is such a bore!

I determined last week that I would not go off my eating plan over the weekend--as I have several weekends now.  So of course that's when my friend Marianne finally calls me about going out for coffee and dessert.  I had told her months ago that I'd like to take her out for her birthday (in October).  So she wants to go on Saturday.  To a restaurant that has great desserts!  But I stuck to my resolution and just had coffee.  I did tell the waiter not to ask me twice as I wasn't sure I had the will power to say no twice!  But my world did not come crashing down around me because I didn't have their lusious chocolate torte. 

Still working on not being disappointed/driven by the scale.  My "offical" weigh-in day is Friday morning, but I did check again today to see how things are going (over the weekend it showed back up a pound).  Now it is back down a pound--zero change--but no loss.  This is tough as I am "usually" doing pretty good.  I don't know if I'm not going low carb enough, but I can't see how I can go much lower and be able to stick with it.  I regularly eat deli meat chicken or ham for breakfast (yes, a couple of carbs there) with sugar free jello.  This is after my morning coffee with half & half and Splenda.  A couple more carbs there.  Then for lunch it is salad (sometimes no carb dressing, sometimes with 2 carbs dressing) that has some cucumber and/or cherry tomatoes, and if it is a "chef's salad" then some meat and an egg.  If I've brought leftovers, it is usually a high protein, low-carb type thing like ground lamb with 1/2 cup spaghetti sauce.  And another sugar-free jello.  Dinner is pretty much a repeat of lunch--focus on protein and then salad.  I had been snacking on pork rinds and sugar-free chocolate but dropped those in the hope of getting the scale moving.  So now I'm trying to use almonds as my snack--limited to 24. 

But I do know my efforts are paying off as I can tell a difference in my clothes.  Not as much as I'd like, mind you, but a difference none the less.  And what is the alternative?  Eat the carbs and gain weight?  Tastes good but doesn't do me a bit of good. 

And afterall, what am I whinning about?  I ate ice cream, cake, pancakes, and chocolate almonds just three days ago!  So much for being beyond instant gratification.  Dieting sux.

Things have been up and down.  I'm doing decent with the exercise--most days 30 min. or more, but at least 15 min. (in order to meet my Live Healthy Iowa goal).  Tried an elliptical machine at the hotel last week; oh my word.  That's tough!  I struggled on level one for 15 min.  Sweated like a pig.  The ladies who can do those for 30 min to an hour?  Don't want to make them mad--they literally could kick my arse.

Food is proving more of a challenge, especially weekends.  I did have an eel maki roll Saturday (very tasty but higher carbs than I need) and then too many sugar-free chocolates (lots of painful bloating, so that's the end of that).  But Sunday I rationalized that since I was going to have birthday cake (at a friend's three year old's party), I might as well get my pancake fix in as well.  Then it was a handful of chocolate covered almonds.  And too much cake.  But, on the drive home, I got in the mood for pizza (might as well round the night out?) but didn't.  I talked to myself about while I had already eaten more than I should have, I didn't really need to make it that much worse by eating pizza.  And that I would either continue the high carb jag by eating the pizza throughout the week (not good) or waste it by throwing it out.  So I took advantage of my inherent laziness and drove home rather than go to the store.  Pizzaless.  I'll take that as a victory.

The scale thing is driving my feelings too much.  I make good choices but don't see the results on the scales.  I know how our bodies don't respond instantly (as we'd like) and all that, but it still works against motivation.  I need to find a way around that.  It does make it hard to say no to yourself when you don't see the benefits of it.  But I need to think more long term--not just weekly.  Sigh.  Never easy, is it?