Brenda C.

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Having had a conversation with a new young Lifeguard at the Aquatic Center I swim at, I became even more aware of a goal I have set for myself - swim 5000 meters in a day.

The Lifeguard just started last week, so he wasn't aware of my daily pursuit of greatness - for lack of a better term!  We started chatting, and I told him I was having "an off day," he then asked, "Well, how far did you swim?" My response was, "I only swam 2500 meters, I usually swim 3000, I just wasn't feeling too well."  He raised an eyebrow, "You normally swim 3000 meters, a DAY?!"  There is a certain amount of satisfaction I get when I surprise someone, in a good way.

Today, I wasn't feeling too perky, but still made my daily trek to the Aquatic Center.  Putting my ear buds in, I started swimming with only one other swimmer.  The pool started to fill, and slowly it started to empty.  I was already done with my 3000 meters, and two other swimmers remained.  I looked at the clock and saw I still had a half an hour left, "if I wanted to swim a little longer..."  So, I just went for it!  I did it, I did it, woot woot, 3500 meters!

Part of the inspiration actually goes to the the Aquatic Center changing the pool length.  Starting next week, the pool I swim in is changing from 25 meters to  50 meters for competition season.  The notice went up earlier this week that on April 18th, the pool will be basically double of what I am used to swimming.  I know, I know, it is still the same distance, but it is still a mind over matter sort of thing.  Sure, it is just numbers, simple math, but I have twice as far before I turn around & do it again.

The new Lifeguard laughed with me yesterday, after I grumbled about the change.  "It will make it easier to get to your goal!"  Twice the distance, in the same amount of time?  Hmmmm, I will have to speed up considerably!  The other Lifeguards know I have a goal, and they have been very supportive.  So, whenever I can spend a little extra time in the pool, I will keep adding another 500 meters until I finally get that magic number of 5000 meters.

Next week will be the first day of 50 meter lengths, I will try to pace myself, and hopefully will still be able to get my minimum 3000 meters in.  First day of 3500 meters, it won't be the last time, and hopefully my new daily goal.

Brenda  : )~

In my quest for my goal of swimming 5000 meters in a day, I have been slowing increasing the amounts I swim each day.  First, I want everyone reading this to realize I could not swim more than 500 meters the first day I started this journey.  So see, you start with a base, and build from there.  Before surgery I was able to swim 2500 meters, but usually swam 2000.  I do feel a difference having lost a big chunk of weight - and I am less buoyant.  Think of dragging an inner tube as opposed to a solid hull skimming the water - less drag!

Other comments have been "How do you keep count?"  Okay, I am easily distracted, so I make my swims as easy as I can.  The pool is 25 meters, so I count my lengths until I get to 20.  When I hit the magic 20, I allow myself to drink water, clear the fog from my mask, and check the clock to see how I am doing.  I can usually do 20 lengths in 15 minutes - this helps, because I actually have lost count how many times I did my 20 lengths!  If there is a question, I look at the clock and do the math.  I had been doing 100 lengths (five sets of 20), which equals 2500 meters.  Five sets of 20 is easier to count then losing track somewhere in the middle counting to 100.   Then I decided to start doing six sets, which has now brought me to the golden number of 3000 meters.  I am unsure how long it will be for me to swim 200 lengths in one day, but I am shooting for it.

Since I do not have the best form swimming freestyle, I never was able to breathe on one side, I use a mask and snorkel.  I am able to just look down, straight ahead, and not worry about coming up on a certain stroke to get my breath.  The snorkel also has an added benefit many may not realize -- extreme deep breathing.  I have amazing lung capacity now, it had not always been this good, and I have had three medical professionals comment on my lung capacity.  Oh, and it is also great for after surgery, getting over the breathing tube!

And remember to switch up your strokes.  Some days I trade between strokes, others I concentrate more on others, it depends on how hard I want to work any set of muscles.  I have found that when I switch on my turn, I actually am not as tired as when I do one stroke continuously.  I cannot say if it is in my mind, or really less fatiguing.  You be the judge.

The next item in my bag of tricks is the waterproof MP3 player.  If you are willing to put some time & effort into hunting down either a bag/case for your existing player (I priced cases for iPod, decided it made more sense to just buy a complete player), you will be able to swim with music.  Another added benefit -- I get swimmers ear, and need ear plugs -- I now have ear buds keeping me entertained & water free!  My MP3 is (I guess) an old model, as I found it on Overstock dot com, with shipping, less than $30.  So, again, depending on your needs (my player is only one Gig, but it is enough for me) and willingness to look, you too can be swimming to whatever tunes float your boat.

When people comment about being "too fat" to swim in public, I want them to look for my August 2008 photo of me in one of my swimsuits.  I was 474 pounds, and yes, I swam in public all the time.  Having lost over 100 pounds is making going to the locker room a lot easier, but there are still moments I too feel the "I'm too fat" doubts.  I pull on my "big girl swimsuit" and march my butt to the pool, no one is going to stop me from enjoying my life.  If you are a larger woman, I am more than happy to give you suppliers of swimsuits - that will not break your bank. 

I really want to thank EVERYONE who has been cheering me on!!! Just remember to be your own cheerleader!  I always had this one inspirational comment running through my head:  There is no CAN'T, there is only WON'T.  I agree.  If I can, so can you!  Now get out there and swim your body healthy!

Oh, and I agree with many comments, the scale isn't always the best judge.  I realize I am working more muscle groups for a longer amount of time, I will see more lean mass than pounds down.  Maybe it is time to pull the old tape measure out...

Brenda : )~

I am now swimming 3000 Meters = 1.86411358 Miles, but I am still not losing a bunch of weight.  I had been swimming 2500 meters a day, five days a week, so I decided to bump up the work and shoot for more.  Okay, so I am slightly disappointed, as I had hoped it would dramatically fuel my weight loss.  Burn, baby, burn!  Oh well, I am still satisfied that I am able to kick ass in the pool.  My big goal is to be able to swim 5000 meters, but I am not sure how long it will take me to attain this goal.  That's a LOT of swimming, even for me!

For those of you thinking of a great workout that will leave your joints much happier, swimming and/or water aerobics seems to be a wonderful fit.  I am in the pool for an hour and a half, and I plug into my waterproof MP3 player, and just push my body.  I love the thought of seeing how far I can go, and I am no longer the slowest swimmer in the pool.  My form isn't perfect, I am the fattest swimmer there, but I actually had the Head Lifeguard talk to me today.  He is usually a real grump, so I tend to say next to nothing to him, but he started a conversation with me.  Maybe this fat chick actually garnered some "points" for being consistent in her workout regime?  I know, what others think isn't supposed to matter, but in my little head, it does.

The point I want to make is this, I am working hard at being healthy, and hoping the weight loss will catch up.  Being active is making me healthier, even if the scale is barely moving.  When you get into a stall, try to see the positive in what you are doing.  If you aren't doing enough positive things, start doing some.  When I started swimming laps, I was only able to do 20 lengths - 500 meters.  I just kept with it, pushed myself, and for a long time I was doing 2000 meters.  Once I hit 2500 meters, I was really proud of myself -- mainly because I did not give up.  Sure, being able to swim an hour and a half may not happen for a while for some, but if I can do it, so can anyone with the will to push themselves, and the patience to work their way to the goal.  Goals aren't attained overnight, they are worked towards.  Don't give up, and celebrate EVERY milestone!

Three Thousand Meters, not bad for a fat chick!
Brenda : )~

I have been swimming every day this week, and it made me wonder, how far am I really swimming?  I usually do 100 lengths of 25 meters, so doing the math...2500 Meters = 1.55342798 Miles.  Seeing the distance in black and white is really motivating me, wow.

Since I couldn't find an affordable waterproof case for my Gen4 iPod Shuffle, I actually purchased a waterproof MP3 player, and now cannot wait until Monday to see if the earphones will actually keep the water out of my ears!  Swimming for over an hour a day - some days closer to two hours, can really get boring.  I think having music to keep me moving.

My weight loss isn't suddenly getting better, but I am out of my stall.  I have dropped two more pounds, and happy about it.  Pushing my swimming has really been great.  It isn't as painful as walking, and I get to start daydreaming of the swimsuits that used to fit - finally fitting!  My speed may not be up there with some of the other swimmers, but I am pretty sure I am doing more distance.  Happy little sea turtle, that's me!  I just hope all this work will help me rid myself of the dreaded arm "wings."

Anyhow, if you think you cannot face a public pool at your current size, I started swimming at the Aquatic Center back when I was still 474 pounds.  Ha ha, now I am a "trim" 372...  I am wearing a size 26 swimsuit, and working my way down to my smaller suits.  Just wait until I pull my daughter's bicycle out of the garage - and I will ride in public!  Sure, it may be hard to face the world when you are fat, but if you don't, it will be that much harder reaching your goals.  Activity is necessary to win this battle...

Brenda  : )~

Wow, I just realized that I need to celebrate my time here on Obesity Help, one whole year!  In that time, I have had ups & downs, but it has been a good year.  It took me eight months to get my surgery, so if you are just starting out, be patient.  In the year that I have been on OH, I have learned so many things, met a lot of people, and found cheap therapy through blogging.

How much weight have I lost?  I guess I could go weigh myself, but I have surpassed one hundred pounds - in a years time (pre & post surgery).  For anyone with a high BMI, let me tell you that the day I signed onto Obesity Help, I had a BMI of 74.  With work and a (mostly) positive attitude, I am under 59 BMI, and on my way to normalcy!  My daughter actually said the best thing, "Mom, you look like a normal fat person!"  It may sound harsh, but she meant it in a good way.  No longer am I HUGE, just mildly large!  I have met two of my 23 goals: Stop needing my extender belt in my truck; Fit in a booth at a restaurant.  Here's to meeting more of my goals.

Happy health to me!  It's one year from the beginning of this journey, and I am looking forward to the next year.  Many have lost more than me in a year, that's cool.  I am now four months out of surgery, and have lost the bulk of my one hundred pounds in that time.  So, when your surgeon asks you to lose ten percent of your weight, don't worry, if I did it, so can you.  I have had some complications (nothing serious), which kept me from exercising, but I am back to swimming a mile.  With the exercise, I am hoping to get my journey going in high gear.

I can climb the stairs in my home (I have two flights) without being winded.  What a difference a year and one hundred pounds makes!

Brenda : )~

The title says it!  I have been buying packaged jerky - from beef to turkey, even pork - and paid dearly for it. So, I did some research, even found out what the USDA says is the best way to make safe jerky, and made some.

Flavor is important, so I will continue to play around with my marinade.  I used London Broil - very lean, less work for me having to trim my meat.  Now, here's the scoop: USDA recommends that you bring beef up to 160 degrees Fahrenheit, then you can drop the temperature down to 130 - 140 - in your oven.  Turkey/poultry, you should bring up to 165 degrees Fahrenheit, then continue to dry at 130 - 140.

Do you need a dehydrator?  NOPE.  Do you need a smoker? NOPE.  I did my jerky in my oven, on cooling racks (lets the air get top to bottom, and drips the juices), and boy was it easy!  Slice your meat against the grain, as thinly as you like - the meat loses about 2/3 of its juices.  Want a smokey flavor?  Buy a bottle of liquid smoke (also an important ingredient if you want to try making Kahlua Pork).  I put the meat in a Ziplock Bag to marinade in the refrigerator for a day - next time it may be longer.  I laid the meat on the cooling racks, put course ground pepper on the top (when I flipped it, I added more), and stuck the meat in the oven for an hour.  Checked it, flipped it, continued to cook for five hours.  I am letting the jerky "rest" on paper plates before I store it.

Cheap eats, that's what makes me smile!  Play around with your spices, and see what you like!  I had some pork jerky in Hawaii, so that will be on my list of "gotta make that!"  Who says you have to pay out the ear for jerky?
Brenda  : )~

I am spending a quiet week mostly alone.  My sweetie had to make a trip to California for his grandfather, so other than the kitties & my kiddie, I am being left to my own devices.  My daughter is an older teen, so it is almost like being alone.

For those of you who do not know what "head hunger" is, I would like to give you a brief explanation: It is when you are not physically hungry, but you still have the need/urge to eat.  Basically, it isn't real hunger, it is all in our head.  For anyone who has dealt with obesity, you may not have considered "am I really hungry, or just grazing?"  Last night, I caught myself grazing, and had to ask, "REALLY?!"  I haven't been "really" hungry very much since surgery, mainly because I try to stay on top of my eating, and have some type of nutrition every two hours.  By eating less more often, you should never have real hunger, which is our enemy.  If you wait until you are hungry, famished, starving, the mind shuts off, and I know I go into thoughtless eating - just shoveling it in.  Don't let this happen to you.

Emotions can trigger bad behavior, and being on "my own" is a good test to gage my triggers.  Last month I was doing great, able to say "no" to snacks, until... The spoiled little kid in me started whispering, "You should be able to have some, too!"  I caught myself trying a bite or two of something, which one or two cannot be bad.  Until I caught myself with my fingers in the candy bag pulling out a handful, I said to myself, "How many calories are these, anyhow?"  Reality can be rude, but sometimes it is the best thing to face.  I flipped over the bag, read the serving size, and the candy went back into the bag.  Last night I actually was having some animal crackers.  Before I knew it, I had had a second handful, and then close to adding a third -- good thing my hands are small.  I stopped myself, started having the internal dialog we've all had, and actually put the crackers back into the bag.  Just snacking for taste or crunch, or whatever reason we give isn't good enough.  I was watching television, and I really wasn't hungry.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try to focus on the next obstacle.  It is a new day, I am being proactive, and getting my work done.  I am sipping on my Low Sodium V8 (Man, I wish Campbell's would ask me to be their spokeswoman!) and deciding how to feed my body - in a healthy manner.  Making sure I get my water, my vitamins and supplements, my protein, and the necessary calories.  Yes, we do need calories, but if you count them, make them count!  My movement goals are on target, and pushing a little more everyday.  Being "there" for myself is probably the hardest thing I have to remind myself to do.  I often joke about being "self amusing," but I never really talk about being "self supporting".  I wake up with me, everyday, and frankly, spend more time with me, than anyone else, so I better like who I am hanging around with!

Getting surgery may help us with many things relating to food, but it does not shut off the emotions.  When I tell people to get their head as well as their body ready for surgery, it is because I have seen so many friends rely on the surgery being the "fix" to all their problems.  I do not have a therapist right now, wish I did, so I rely on myself to get me through things like head hunger.  If I knew why I do the things I do, I doubt I would be this obese.  Fixing the spoiled little kid who taunts me with, "Everyone else gets to..." isn't easy, but I am getting there.  Food is fuel, it is not an award, it is not comfort, it is fuel.   I think I may need to add an internal question to my daily activity:  Is my head on straight?

Remember to talk to the "spoiled little kid" in your head, and maybe you won't have as much trouble with head hunger!
Brenda  : )~

After doing my Rain Dance, yesterday - you know, washing my vehicles - it is finally sunny in Seattle!  It rained last night, and all the first half of today, so I am just chuckling about my neighbors possible thoughts:  I told you so!  At least the vehicle was clean, so it is still clean, just wet.

I got my test results yesterday from my three month check up, and still puzzling over how I could be deficient in D2 yet sufficient in D3 - those pesky fat soluble vitamins!  Did you know Vitamin D is the ONLY vitamin that is converted into a hormone?  No kidding!  So, in trying to decipher why my labs were as they are, I find D2 is plant based, D3 is animal based, and I still do not know how one can be fine while the other isn't.  More studying.  My B12 is high, yet Iron was a little low -- I told both docs it was my menses, and I STOPPED taking Iron for a few days because of cramps.  It was suggested (in print) that I retake the tests in 6 - 8 weeks -- time to study.

Blood is a fascinating substance!  My mother used to tell me that when I would wince getting blood drawn.  Hey, I was 6 at the time the phlebotomist was playing the violin on me, so I had a few issues!  My family gene pool, and my obesity, led to LOTS of blood tests growing up.  I still wonder why if my mom kept saying how much she liked blood, why she never learned how to be a lab technician, oh well.  All my numbers were fabulous, well except two.  But I kind of already explained the Iron issue (in my head it makes sense).  

The funniest thing I have to share today is my need to have crab!  I am not one of those folks easily distracted by food cravings, but I have had crab on my brain for days, so my body must know something I don't.  Oh, another interesting thing I read - mushrooms carry D2 - and guess who bought some the other day?  Cravings can be cues, and it also can explain deficiencies - chewing ice, eating dirt, often is a symptom of Iron deficiency.  No, I haven't been eating dirt or ice, lately!

My walking yesterday resulted in pain last night and today.  I really hate my foot.  The pain led me to pain relief, so I played Russian Roulette with my constipation, and lost.  Why does it have to be so complected?  I don't like pain, but I also don't like constipation - how does one win?  More studying!  I figure losing weight should give me more pain relief, but I am almost thinking it is the opposite.  The happier I am at losing, the more active I want to be.  The more active I am, the more pain I have.  Ugh.  So if you see a brightly colored fat chick, whistling while limping, in the Seattle Area, say "hello," as it is probably me!  Pink - that was the color I ended up choosing, yesterday!  Who knows, maybe I will pull the bright yellow coat I made (the lapel is blue rubber duckies), and show the world I am the brightest object other than the sun.

Oh, another interesting fact I learned about Vitamin D -- dark skinned people have a harder time getting D through ultra violet -- SUNSHINE -- rays.  I did not consider that!  I am so fair skinned, I joke I am usually one of three colors throughout the year:  White, Pink, APPALOOSA.  Man, do I freckle!  So, I guess my skin which I used to shrug over (I really don't tan well) is actually a good thing - considering I am living in an area the weather forecasters refer to overcast days as: Filtered Sunlight!  Hmmm, genetics, I am second generation American on Dad's side - imagine that?! Northern Ireland has SIMILAR weather as Seattle (groan).

Maybe I like puzzles too much?  I think I am an information junky, is that a bad thing?!  The Internet is the worst thing for an information junky - too much information, and so hard to rely on any one source.  Am I just of an age that I miss the old Encyclopedia & Reference Section at the Library?  Books, yes, kids, they used to be the main source of information (I feel old...)  My spirits are up, I am on the prowl for CRAB LEGS, and looking forward to starting yet a few more projects...

Stay Positive!
Brenda : ) ~

Now, I get the concept of the 12 Step Program, I just don't really know the steps involved.  I was just sitting here, fighting a "blue" moment when it dawned on me: I am SOBER.

My thoughts earlier went to a stupid bag of chips.  Yes, I am honest and tend to say what is on my mind.  Doritos has a new flavor, and I have tried it, and really liked it.  Lucky for me I am sober, ha ha!  "I wonder if anyone opened the bag of Doritos, yet?"  I didn't go lumbering off to the pantry to check, so I guess that this is a moment to reflect on.  I know I am feeling blue, for no real particular reason, but instead of feeding my emotions, I am writing them out.  Recognizing the problem is a... first... step?! 

My weight is here because I ate too much.  I cannot blame every inch on heredity, metabolism, so I guess that is another step... Two?  Acknowledgment.  After having my stomach reduced to a wee pouch, I really cannot fill it to the degree I had just three months ago.  Lucky for me, my "triggers" don't work the same way they used to!  I can think about food - sometimes bad food (evil Doritos!) - but I usually don't have the "urge" to eat.  Man, I hope this feeling lasts, because I know what I used to be like in this kind of mood!

Don't get me wrong, I was not someone who ate junk food, drove through fast food restaurants, but even healthy choices can be bad choices, if not made in moderation.  Hmmm, moderation - maybe another step?  When my mind is not in a happy place, I know I have a tendency to think, "Wonder what is in the kitchen?"  So, I am happy that I am not defaulting to bad habits!

My day had a couple of hiccups, so I get that I may be down for those reasons.  What really bugs me is this: Why can a normal day leave me feeling like I am in the dumps?  I may know the answer, so I will just say, "I'll take hormones for a thousand, Alex...."  "What is, I think my body is releasing too much estrogen out of my fat cells, and I cannot keep up?"  Trying to be rational usual saves me from grazing.  If it isn't hormones, no biggie!  I doubt my hormones will take offense for me singling them out to blame for my mood...

Anyhow, why am I writing this for the world to see?  Mainly because, I love to tell others to "Stay Positive!" and want you to see that even a positive person has a bad day once in a while.  My day hasn't been some terrible tragedy, just that I am a little "blue".  I just made another silly connection:  I have been wearing the color blue, three days in a row.  Tomorrow, I choose a different color!  I am not being silly, just figure I need a change of pace.

Any suggestions on which color to wear?
Brenda : )~

I just chuckled this morning.  I have been staring at a scale that would not move for almost a week now.  Before anyone says it, I know! I know! Don't weigh yourself daily - insert my frustrated smile here.

There has been an ongoing joke in my house, that I need to run upstairs to weigh myself, when the long awaited bowel movement finally gets here!  Ewww, I just had a Peanuts Cartoon Special run through my head:  "Look Charlie Brown, it's the Great Brown Movement!"  Sorry, I tend to share a little too much.  Well, the awaited event finally happened yesterday afternoon, and no, I did not run upstairs.  I waited to weigh myself right before my nightly shower - in full clothing (which weighed in at SIX POUNDS!) then full nude.  WHAT?!  I still did not see my scale budge, but figured I wasn't going to obsess (much) about it.

This morning, I was lazy, and only left the warmth of bed to go to the bathroom.  I shrugged, pulled out the cruel scale, and just laughed.  How in the world could I have lost two pounds over night?!  Okay, there must be some leprechaun Tom-foolery at hand, as all I did this morning was urinate.  Announcing my two pound scale adjustment (I weighed three times to be sure), I was then told, "Yeah, well did you see how much of the blankets you had on YOUR side of the FLOOR?!"  Hmmm, me a blanket hog?  Okay, you got me, I hate the cold weather in Seattle!  Could I really have been sweating off my pounds in bed?  Who cares?!

My love/hate relationship with my scale will continue.  At least I know my scale loves me more than the one at one of my support groups!  The scale at home matches both of my doctors office scales, yet the one at the support group was so cruel & said I weigh eight extra pounds.  Note to self:  Don't give a damn; you can always go home & snuggle up to your "home" scale...

Back to the Peanuts Special, I have decided that one of my daily snacks has to be half a cup of Fiber One.  Dang it, I hate missing out on the "daily event" most everyone gets - don't make me hurt you if you have them more than once a day!  With all things, I will try to stay positive, smile at NSV (Non Scale Victories), and keep on keeping on. Last night I actually could have sneaked a Hershey's Kiss, but decided not only would my breath rat me out, it would be a stupid, childish move.  So see, if I can grow up and behave like an adult (laughter fills my immature mind), so can you!

Stop letting your scale dictate the way your day goes.  It isn't easy, but you will have a better day!  Oh, and I finally took measurements - woo hoo, I have lost so many inches, I hope that they don't find anyone else!
Brenda : )~