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I set a goal of reaching a weight of 135 pounds.  I figure when I get around150 pounds, most of the weight that is left will be skin that needs to be removed.  I hope to have plastics in that timing. 

That said, I have reached the halfway point to my goal weight.  I have now lost more weight than I have left to lose.  My tickers are about even, but I'm a 1/2 pound on the side I want to be.  It's a happy moment!

I had a great weekend at a conference.  Last year, I felt like (and probably was) the fattest woman in the room.  This year, I wasn't close.  I was looking through merchandise at some shirts that were on sale.  Another woman looked at me and said, "I couldn't find any larges either."  She thought I was a large.  How about that.

I had decided to buy at least one t-shirt and found the one I wanted.  I expected the sizes to be small, so I tried on a 2X, which was baggy.  I ended up with a 1X ... first time in I don't even know how long!!  For the record, I think the sizes were running a little big.  I don't care, though!

Last year at this conference, I lumbered around in the heat, just miserable.  This year, I felt normal.  I still struggle with standing for long periods of time, but I'm working on it.

I didn't feel like exercising today, but I made myself.  I immediately felt better as soon as I started. 

I love my new life and I love the folks who take the time to read my blog.  I give you my all my best wishes!

Last week, I lost 4.8 pounds.  This week, I lost .2 pounds.  Hmmm...  Five total pounds, but so odd in the disparity.  Nothing about my weight loss ever makes sense to me.  I exercise 6-7 days per week.  I continue to lose inches even without losing weight. 

Does it make sense?  No!  Does it discourage me?  A little bit.    However, one thing I've learned is that weight loss, even with WLS, is not steady and predictable even though my efforts may be.  I've lost 12 inches off my waist, another 12 off my hips, and several inches from various other places.  I can wear 2X shirts and blouses now.  My wonderful pear shape means that my lower half is more of a 3X/4X.  But, the scale isn't congruent with that loss. 

I'm looking forward to my next appointment with my nut and exercise physiologist.  Maybe they'll have answers for me.  The "I'm building muscle" statement may be true, and I hope it is, but I don't want that to be an excuse. 

I've undergrown some of my "new" clothes that I bought at consignment stores.  All of the smallest clothes from my closet are baggy now.  It's nice to shrink and that makes me happy. 

God bless everyone reading my blog.  I appreciate you so much!

I just celebrated my 49th birthday this weekend. I am only 49, but I am beginning my 50th year. 

There is a Biblical custom that in the 50th year, Jubilee happens.  During the Jubilee, property that was sold out of the family had to be returned. 

For me, I am planning on getting my life back.  I'm going to find the woman inside.  I'm going to reignite the passion and fun I used to have when I was younger (and smaller).  I am going to let God bring back those things that I've lost but still belong to me.  It's already begun in so many ways. 

Blessings to all those who read my posts.  You inspire me. 

The night before Memorial Day, the power went out as rain poured down.  Our basement had never flooded in the 17 years that we've lived in this house.  So, we were shocked when our last step off the stairs made a splash.  The water wasn't terribly deep, but it was above the carpet.  What a mess!  It happened one week before my RNY surgery.

We've spent the summer camping upstairs.  Half of our belongings are in storage.  The basement is dry and empty now, its walls stripped of baseboards and sections of drywall, as we wait for contractors and insurance adjustors to agree on what is to be done.  My husband and I are taking advantage of the upcoming remodel to enlarge our bedroom and create a new closet out of a too small adjoining bedroom.  I was knocking out the walls of our old closet, which will help create the new space, when I thought, "What a metaphor our basement has been of my life this year!" 

Like my flooded basement, WLS was not something I ever wanted, but what a blessing it has been.  I hate that my basement flooded, but it's going to be fantastic when it is done.  Out with the old and in with the new!  Neither situation has been easy.  In fact, it has been disruptive, but both will create beauty in my life.  Tearing down those walls today was like tearing down the barriers in my life that have kept me from dreaming, living, and seeking beauty and comfort for myself.  I'm finally going to have a larger bedroom that is more restful and lovely.  My closet will be wonderful and large.  As my body grows smaller, I am enlarging my hopes and pursuing my goals, which include good health, furthering my education, and just having fun! 

It is really amazing when something lovely comes from disaster.  Like my basement, I am going to be better in the end.  Blessings to all dear readers who stop by to read my posts.  You are important to me as I transform.  May you be blessed as you morph into your true self!

RNY has brought me lots of tender mercies.  There are dozens of things I can do again that I haven't been able to do in years!  It's happened so fast that sometimes I forget to do them.  For instance, I have been going down stairs one at a time because of a painful left knee.  But, I don't have to do that anymore.  My knee is still a bit sore, but I can walk down stairs normally! 

My size made regular public bathroom stalls almost impossible and I used the handicapped stall.  Not a problem anymore!  But, I have to remind myself to use the regular stalls!  I can bend over without getting dizzy, so I don't panic when I drop something.  I bend over and get it.  I can walk fast for longer distances.  I don't sit in the car when my husband runs into a store.  I won't wear out and get exhausted, so I can go inside with him. 

There are just so many things I can do again.  What a total blast to still have energy after exercising, shopping, doing chores, etc.  I am at the weight I was over 15 years ago.  I feel at least 10 years younger.  I am blessed with these little things.  Altogether they add up to a wonderful way to live.

God bless everyone who reads my blog with your own tender mercies!

I'm in such a good mood.  I've been so happy lately!  I knew that the weight was a burden.  I didn't know it was such a torment for me.  I feel like I am finally becoming the person I was always meant to be.  What a pleasure and a blessing.  This feeling may not last, but I don't really care.  My happiness has already lasted longer than it has in years.  Physically and emotionally, I feel better than I have in a decade. 



Blessings to you, readers!

Today marks 20 wonderful years with my husband... 26 total.  Okay, it's a silly joke, but not all the years can be stellar when you're in it for the long haul. 

What a happy day today is for me.  When we got married, my husband had issues!  Sadly, I had even more!! LOL!  I love that the two of us have faced down some of those horrible things together.  Together, we have broken the cycle of alcoholism and abuse.  Our children aren't perfect, but the good Lord knows that their childhood issues aren't as severe as ours were, or at least came from different sources.  My oldest son thought for years that my husband and I never fought, except for that one time when he was four.  I guess we quieter than we thought. 

What's this got to do with WLS?  Everything.  My supportive, imperfect husband has really been there for me through all of this, which started last year and not just when I had surgery in June.  I was self-pay, which meant we dipped into retirement to do this.  He needs WLS too, and I got to go first.  I love this man who drives me crazy half the time.  I'm not sure what that says about me, but I do know that I am so grateful for him.  Besides choosing salvation, marrying him was the best decision I ever made. 

My wish for all of you is that you would find someone or love your someone with all of your heart and they would love you just as deeply.  God bless.

We traveld out to the west part of the state to a very small town.  Eating out was challenging.  I found food to eat and that was okay, but it was hard to figure out the portions.  I just got so tired of eating out and started craving cottage cheese. 

I was attending a conference and left a meeting I really wanted to hear all of, about in the middle, so I could go back to the hotel and swim.  I felt good about it, though.  All day in the car left me stiff and I promised myself I would put my needs first.  I was glad I did.

I had a blast with my husband and son, who went with me.  We spent the drive home stopping to see this and that, taking pictures and enjoying our time together.  It was good to be together.

My next trip, I'm going to pack more food for myself, like 3 oz. cans of tuna, dried fruit, and other non-perishables.  It's ridiculous to spend $5-10 on meals I can't finish!  

Bless everyone who reads my post.  I wish you all the best in your journey.

I was having a great day yesterday.  I got sunburned from being in the pool for hours with a friend.  It was fun, though.  My 21 year old son was over and I got to have a nice talk with him.  He was happier than he's been for awhile and that warmed my heart.  Despite all the company, I was still able to get some of my chores done and that made me feel great.

I had just enough time to run to the grocery store and pick up a few groceries before I had to go pick up my husband from his carpool.  One of our vehicles is in the shop and we're down to one.  Everything was going great until...

I was telling my friend how much I love Raspberry tea from all the fast food places.  I had been told that it was sugar free, but  my friend informed me that they were all sweetened.  ACK!!  All those calories!  No wonder I loved them.  I wondered why I hadn't dumped with them, but determined not to beat myself up, just to stop drinking them and find another alternative.    So, the 21 year old and I are out and I need to feed him.  We go through Wendy's to get him food and I ordered a Minute Maid lemonade, which is SF.  I checked on the internet!  Fool me once. 

So, I'm in the store buying this and that, plus something very easy to prepare for dinner.  I started feeling gassy.  Well, that's normal, huh?  I thought no big deal.  Then, as I was checking out, 15 minutes to go get the hubby, I started having stronger gas pains.  Hmmmm.  Walking to the truck, I decided that I better go home and use the bathroom even if it makes me late to pick up my husband.  I put the groceries in.  I get in the truck and realize, I don't have time to drive the five minutes home.  I found the nearest place to stop, ran into the bathroom and felt like I was dumping.  I got sweaty, dizzy, felt a little nauseous as I "did my business".  I was so afraid I was going to pass out.  I texted my husband so he'd know where I was.  Then, I texted him and asked his carpool to meet me where I was because I wasn't going to be able to drive.

This too, did pass, but I was left weak and shaky.  I walked back to the truck, started it (needed the a/c), reclined the seat and waited for my husband to come.  He, of course, was concerned.  I was feeling better, but not ready to drive.  With every passing minute I felt a little better.  Once home, I laid down for fifteen minutes and got up had dinner and a pretty normal evening.  We even went swimming later.

I don't know what was in the Lemonade, maybe the real lemon juice, perhaps too many sugar alcohols, whatever.  I am not having it again!  This incident made my husband skittish.  He needs a WLS and was advised to have the same thing I'm having.  However, he said he can't afford to have all these little incidents I'm experiencing while he is at work.  He can't afford to take the time off.  He's completely rethinking his decision.  I feel a little bad about that, but I know that he has to make up his own mind.  It's his body and he has to live with the consequences.  I did point out that had he not been around, I simply would have sat in the truck until I felt well enough to drive home, which would have been about 15 minutes.  It was the time factor of his arrival that forced me to take actions beyond that.  In any case, with RNY, I'm living and learning.  I am so glad for this surgery.  It's been great for me, despite difficult moments.

God bless you for reading this extra long blog post.  I wish you all the best in your journey!