tbariatric
My love for PB - hmmm...aha!
Nov 22, 2010
I posted this in a forum and thought to cross-post it here:Thanks - yes, I am in a program and and working with my mentor on a list of "bottom line" foods ... ones that just won't be in the house and are "no" for me for now, or forever ... they are the foods that if I have one, I will have 100.
I am also identifying my triggers beyond HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) and then identifying a list of things to do when I feel triggered and want to eat.
I know a lot of this is part of a protection instinct gone awry from childhood ... I was very sick as a little kid, and my Gram was the best baker, and always had a little jar of PB in her kitchen just for me ... and when I would be feeling good, we could visit Gram and she'd make me cinnamon rolls from scratch, or roast beef & dumplings, and I always got a piece of whie bread with PB as "dessert" (unless she made some amazing pie).
As life got weirder, after my parents split up and my childhood took a yucky turn, I turned to food to medicate all the feelings I was having because my world got pretty scary from age 9 on. And of course, a key component of that was PB, because PB was comfort, PB was Gram's house. That, and cream cheese frosting (she'd make it from scratch for the cinnamon rolls) got me through years of abuse.
But now, as I'm facing WLS, I am seeing how this is SO different than a diet. When I'm going to start a diet, when I'm going to start a program of some kind, I can say to myself ... PB will always be there ... it's an INDUSTRY, for goodness sakes. Or, Reese's isn't going anywhere. Just don't have it right now...
I am realizing I was always preparing for the end of whatever behavior was dictacted by the diet I was on ... and NOW, I am preparing for a LIFE change. It's a very different mental exercise, and one that surprised me yesterday when I saw Reese's and PB M&Ms at the store.
I want to be different, do different, and live different. I'd like to start these things before the WLS so it's not such a drastic shock to my emotional/mental health ... but I am grateful to know some of you have also gone through that "food panic" sort of thing. That makes me feel a little better that if you can do it, so I can I.
Theresa
