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Today celebrates 19 months since I had my revision from lapband to RNY.  I couldn't be happier with this decision.  I have, however, allowed old, bad habits to creep back in, and now I am faced with a 21 lb gain from my low weight of 112 lbs.  Today I weigh 133lbs.  I exercise regularly, which is great, but I am eating simple carbs like chips and crackers, and I graze from 3-bedtime.  Both habits are attributing to this gain.  I also have started drinking water while grazing, so this habit also has to be eliminated.  Today, I commit to a healthier, bariatric eating plan and lifestyle.  I don't like feel uncomfortable in my clothes, and I am starting to feel my self-confidence dwindle based on this weight gain.  I am looking forward to Summer and being able to wear all the cute clothes I bought last year, and do not want to have to buy a bigger size clothes for this Summer.  I am still very grateful for this surgery, and I am healthier than I have ever been since my teenage years.  I wouldn't change a thing!!  Today, I still wear a size S top and a tight 2, comfortable size 4 pants.  Last Summer, my clothes were a Size 0, so I have some work to do!!  I want to lose 21 lbs by July 4.  I know if I put my mind to it, I can accomplish this goal.  One day at a time!!

THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!!! (repost)

 By:  Leilani - (Leilani's words will live on forever)

That's the sentiment (scenario) that comes to mind sometimes when I hear some of the comments from people who've already had the surgery.   In case you haven't made the connection, that's a line Tom Hanks made famous in the movie "A League Of Their Own."  Resorting to tears or just giving up every time the going gets tough.  Or your sick of taking vitamins, getting in protein is hard, water doesn't taste good, etc.  That kinda' thinking is NOT going to make you successful or keep you healthy.  ENOUGH already!  It's time to LOVE yourself enough to get "TOUGH" wtih your aftercare.  Your longterm health is worth it!!

Success comes with a backbone, NOT a wishbone!

First and foremost, you have to keep it POSITIVE.  As with everything in life, if you think you can't - you WON'T!  Simple enough?

I have to wonder when "we" (as adults) finally take ownershipfor our actions, our life and our health?  We have been given a gift, a second chance to actually LIVE life again instead of merely existing on the sidelines.   It's up to each of us to do that as healthy and productively as possible.

We're ALL statistics waiting to happen and the insurance companies are chomping at the bit.  The bean counters are eager to drop Weight Loss Surgery ("WLS") from the policies; some already have.  Don't you know that any negative feedback thrown into the mix only strengthens their cause?  I may not be able to control every thing that happens to my body after WLS, but most things I can.  I CHOOSE to take control and I will be a positive statistic when the numbers get counted.  

We live in a spoiled society, expecting everything in life to come with a buncha really cool choices.  Well, guess what?  When it comes to your health, you're not always going to get a choice.  You either DO IT and stay healthy, or you DON'T and your body pays the price.

The way I saw it, I had a 90 day healing and adjusting period after surgery.  My 'super morbidly obese' body had more than enough stores to survive the learning curve.  In turn, it gave me plenty of time to heal, adjust and learn.  For those of you OVER 90 days Post-Op, the probation period is over - its time to get serious and LIVE what you've learned.  

*  You say you can't get in enough liquids throughout the day, don't like the taste of water, or just keep forgetting? -- TOUGH!  It's not an option anymore.   Find a way to do it, get suggestions and tips from others in support groups, message boards, etc.  Read, learn and JUST DO IT!!  Why do you think there is a choice here?

*  You say you don't like the big horse pill type vitamins, or the tart chalky chewables? ... it's just too many to bother with?  Or maybe you just can't remember to take them? --  TOUGH!  You gave up the option NOT to take vitamins when you agreed to have your insides rerouted.  FIND a way to get them in; crushed, minced, chopped, liquified, in a shake, etc.  No exceptions, your health depends on it.

*  Protein is a must.  So you can't get it all in via foods and you don't like the way the shakes taste?   -- TOUGH!  Either get it through your meals (and there are a gazillion food choices out there) or supplement it with protein shakes and bars.

Trust me, I don't drink my protein shake every morning because I think it tastes like a chocolate blizzard from Dairy Queen.  I've tried many varieties over the last 2 years.  I'd even venture to say 25 of the top sellers/flavors have crossed my lips.  For the record?  I've yet to find one that is as 'delicious' as boasted by the distributor.  So what.  I still drink one every morning.  My HEALTH dictates that I need "X" grams of protein per day.  If I'm not getting enough from my meals then I supplement a shake.  'Nuff said.

This surgery is a gift, I owe it to me and everyone else fighting the approval process, to do it right!  I will continue to choke down my vitamins, my water and my protein every single day, for the REST OF MY LIFE.  Some days will be easier than others, regardless, no days will be missed.

It's all about discipline.  Create a routine, set a timer, develop a pattern, tie a string around your finger, glue a note on your forehead, whatever it takes.

You're an adult - take responsibility!  If this surgery doesn't slap a back bone into you, not much will.

Today is 18 months since my revision surgery.  Not much has changed since my last blog entry, so I will make this short.  I am still trying to get back to basics and lose my regained weight.  Today I weigh 130lbs, and this is totally unacceptable to me.  I have maintained my exercise regimen thruout this journey, but have allowed head hunger to rule my eating behaviors, which includes eating simple carbs, grazing all day, and unplanned snacking.  I do still use MFP and weigh my food during meal time.  So I am now focusing on getting my snacking and mindless eating under control.  I have decided to weigh myself daily and hold myself more accountable, even though daily weight changes can throw me into emotional turmoil.  For instance, yesterday I weighed 129, and today 130.  But it does force me to address why, and act on changing today, not next week.  I will post new pics of what I look like today.

Well - it's been a rough Summer, weight wise.  In May, I weighed 112 lbs and actually liked that weight, although most of my family told me that I was too thin.  I think we get this because we lose so fast.  Anyway, I started introducing old habits, especially sugar and whites, and now I am at 127lbs.  I am still working out, but the weight is definitely scaring me.  I am starting therapy to get my head around previous eating disorder issues I had that I feel may be creeping back into my life, as well as try to get comfortable with some of this weight, but also to try to get back on my Protein First plan.  I feel so much better eating on Plan, but trying to get off the carbs is really hard.

I don't weigh or measure my food much anymore, I can usually eyeball my amounts, but I do still log my intake using MFP.  I weigh myself a few times a week.  I tried the every day route, but each ounce freaks me out, so I weigh about 3-4 times a week.  I still exercise about 5 times a week - I walk on the treadmill, do some light weightlifiting, and always get my 10k steps a day in.  

I am going to Cabo San Lucas in early November, so I am going to commit to getting back on Plan to try to lose a few of these gained pounds.

Until next month, when I hope that I have better news on the weight front...

1 year ago, I woke up from surgery without my crap band, but with a whole new opportunity to get healthy with RNY.  Since then, I have lost more than what I wanted to lose, got off blood pressure meds, started exercising and have never felt better.  I don't have any reflux, and other than sugar, don't really have any food intolerances.  This is a good thing - I don't throw up or get things stuck, but it's also a bad thing - I have slowly introduced some of my trigger foods back into my diet, which sets off binges and cravings.  I am working on getting back on a strict plan and dropping the lbs I have gained over the past 6 weeks.  I am owning my deviations, and realize that I am happier being on a protein forward plan and eliminating the bad carbs, and I work on this every day.  So today I have to own an 11 lb weight gain - I am 123lbs today.  I have a plan to work off this weight and get back to 112lbs.  I write in my journal nearly daily, and set goals for myself every Sunday.  I use MFP app to track and log all of my food, liquids and exercise, and I usually get a workout in 5x a week.  I have let these habits slip over the past 6 weeks, and know that I have to be very disciplined and continue to practice these habits every day, for the rest of my life.  So I guess that this is confirmation that if we don't follow our plan, even with our WLS tool, we can gain the weight back.  Another thing I am doing is seeking help for my urges to binge, since I did have an eating disorder 20 plus years ago.  I'm afraid that some of the emotional junk that threw me into my disorder is starting to raise it's ugly head and cause me trouble again.  So I know what I NEED to do to feel better and lose the weight, it's just the act of DOING that sometimes trips me up - but I'm not giving up.  One day at a time.  Until next month.

Well - it's been a not so good month.  I am up 4lbs, to 116lbs as of this morning.  I have started to binge eat, and have tried all of my trigger foods, like cookies, chips, peanut butter, crackers, ice cream - you get the picture.  I am on a carb overload.  Today is a new day, and I am committed to this lifestyle and have set goals to not only get these lbs off, but get help around my head issues.  I am going to call my NUT on Monday, and ask if insurance might pay for me to see a behavioral therapist to help me.  If not, I will likely pay out of pocket just to get some help on how I can overcome these urges to binge.  Years ago, in my early 20's thru my 30's, I lived with both anorexia and bulimia, and overcame these with some therapy.  Now, I feel so good about my WLS choices, that I have lost the weight, and I don't want my head issues to get out of control.  I vow never to regain this weigh. 

I wrote goals for the week in my journal, and I am going to post these goals in a visible place in my house in order to remind myself of my own commitments.  I am also going to post my before and current after pic to also remind myself of how much happier I am now, versus 11 months ago. 

So for those just starting out, WLS is not a do all, end all.  Yes, you will lose the weight, and maintenance is really hard, and boring, but we have to do the work every hour of every day, and commit to this healthy lifestyle in order to keep the weight off long term.

I am committed to being able to post a much better picture of my success on my 1 year Surgiversary.  Until August, I wish you all a very gratifying month. 

I can't believe it's been 10 months since I had my lap band removed, and revised to RNY.  It's been a pretty easy journey, after my post op complications from my gallbladder removal was healed.  I have revised my weight loss goal several times, and seem to be holding somewhat steady now.  This past month, I lost 2 lbs, going from 115 to 113, although I typically weigh 112, it didn't happen today, so I am logging the actual weight as of today.  This puts me at a total of 84lb weight loss overall.  I originally wanted to lose the 60lbs I had gained during my band complications, but since I kept losing weight, I readjusted to accommodate for possible bounce back.  My measurements haven't changed much, either.  I lost a total of .75 inches this past month, for an overall total loss of 61.25 inches.  I do at least 30 minutes of exercise every day, and really need to up this.  I also lift light weights, which is really helping my arms and legs - I may not even need PS on my arms now. 

I currently wear a size 0 misses, but actually the Junior size 3 fit me much better.  I also wear a Junior size S-M top.  Misses are actually too big, unless I can find an XS.  I'm struggling to find clothes that fit now, but it is a much better feeling to struggle with clothes being too big rather than too small.  I found a great alterations place who do a beautiful job.  I also shop at Goodwill and Salvation Army, and have found some awesome name brand clothes.  I get tons of compliments on my outfits now, and I love wearing bright colors, as you can see from my 10 months post op pics I posted.  Those pink jeans were $6.99 at Goodwill and are a Junior size 3.  They fit perfectly.

I have been dealing with some old habits, like binge eating.  I binge on a few cups of popcorn and a Quest protein bar in 1 sitting, and then deal with a carb coma and feel so full that I am in lots of pain.  I have been doing this about 1/week, and am trying my hardest to break this habit.  I feel so lousy after, that I don't know why I even want to do this to myself.  I don't eat any sweets like cookies, cakes, etc., and I don't eat 'whites', like potatoes, rice, bread, crackers, etc.  I just refuse to go there, but I am definitely a work in progress, especially when it comes to my head issues, and my apparent addiction to Skinny Pop popcorn and Quest protein bars.  I don't keep the popcorn in the house any more because I can't stop at just 2 cups, but I do eat the protein bars, and limit my intake to 2 a day max.

I still weigh and measure my food - I eat 4oz protein per meal, and I log every morsel into Myfitnesspal app.  I still don't drink with meals, and I typically eat 3 meals and 2 snacks per day.  I have been eating more calories now - up to 1000-1100 a day, so this is helping with maintaining this weight, versus continuing to lose.  I try to stick to 1000 calories a day, and this keeps me around 112 lbs. 

I am so grateful for this surgery, and having a new lease on life.  I take all my vitamins religiously, and my 6 month labs were great.  Looking forward to nearing my 1 year surgiversary and seeing what these labs look like.  To all who may be considering this surgery, but still unsure, I hope you find my blog helpful and feel free to PM me with any questions.  Unless month 11 - wishing you all success in your own journeys.

I'll be traveling on the business the next 2 weeks, and away from a scale and tape measure on my actual 9 month surgiversary, so did my numbers today, May 10.  I weigh 115lbs, only a 2lb loss in the past month, for a total weight loss of 82lbs, all post op loss, as I didn't have a pre op diet requirement.  I've been upping my total calorie intake to figure out how much I can eat for maintenance.  This past month, I have been averaging 973 calories a day over this past month.  So I likely will need to stick to around 1000 calories a day in order to maintain this weight loss, or up my exercise.  I get on the treadmill nearly every day - about 30-45 minutes at 3.8 mph and 1.5 incline.  This past week, I have been running at 4.2 for part of this time.  Even though I didn't lose a lot this month, I did lose 4.25 inches overall.  This brings my total inches lost to 60.5".  I am very pleased with this progress in just 9 month.  I do very well with my vitamins and liquids, and really setting goals every week around food and fitness.  Food is because I seem to be eating too many Quest protein bars (I use them as my sweet treats), and now Skinny Pop popcorn to curb my chewing cravings.  I really think these are the reasons my weight has also slowed - due to taking in more carbs.  But this is a journey, and so far, I am handling it ok.  Maintenance has always been a struggle for me in the past, with my weight loss efforts - I seem to get bored with reading the same number on the scale.  So I am looking for others ways to show 'success', that will satisfy me as much.  I am still searching - but this month, I had to take in more pants, and I bought XS tops, so this is sort of a success.  I currently wear size 0 pants and usually a S top, sometimes XS. 

I am flying out today - will be in CA for a 2 week business trip.  This is my last trip, as I am retiring effective July 5.  When I return from this trip on May 23, I will work 3 more days, then take the entire month of June off on vacation, and retire into the sunset with happy memories of a 34 year career with Chevron.  A great company to work for, and I'm very proud they kept me as long as they did.  I have traveled the world with Chevron, and feel blessed with the opportunities they have afforded me.

Until Month 10, I wish all of my readers and successful and joyful month.

Today I am 8 months post op from my revision from lap band to RNY, with a gallbladder removal during the same surgery.  I have to say that I have never felt better.  I just returned from a business trip where I spent almost 3 weeks in Singapore, and with the band, airplane flights, especially long ones, would tighten my band so badly that I would seek emergency medical when I reached my destination for an unfill.  I never experienced any complications on this last trip, thanks to RNY.  I was able to eat normally during the flight, where with the band, my surgeon recommended that I go on liquids during the entire flight and at least 1 day after I landed.  Just a total pain.  Anyway, the short story, is that I was not willing to go without some WLS tool, so my surgeon recommended revision to RNY and have my band removed.  I was nervous about RNY - had read how drastic it is and how you have to change your eating habits for life, and take so many vitamins.  I almost backed out at the last minute, but knew that whatever I decided, the band had to come out.  I had been dealing with such severe acid reflux for over a year by then, and hadn't been able to sleep lying down for about a year.  I would wake up with acidic fluid in my mouth and my throat would be burning and I would be choking.  This happened almost every night.  I was completely done with the band.

Fast forward to today.  As stated, it has been 8 months living with RNY, and I can say that this is the best decision I ever made.  I started on surgery day being 197lbs, and I am now at 117lbs, a total loss of 80lbs.  After 2 months I had lost about 33lbs.  Then in months 3-5, I averages a loss of about 10lbs per month.  Months 6-8 I have averaged about 5lbs per month.  I adjusted my goal weight 3 times, never thinking that I would get down under 120lbs, but here I am.  My lowest with the lapband was 129 and I stayed there for a hot minute, then started gaining back slowly.  When I started this journey, I knew that I was a revision and a lightweight, and had read that ppl like me tend to lose weight slower, so not to compare my weight loss progress with others.  I may be slower, but I have been steady, with only 1 real stall at just about 3 weeks post op.  So I am very happy with my progress.  Today I am a total of 56.25 inches smaller, and I wear a sz 0/2 pants and size Small tops.  I take my vitamins religiously, and I have a schedule so it doesn't seem overwhelming to me.  I just have my routine now.  I don't drink any alcohol, eat sweets or 'white' carbs, and I don't drink with my meals or until at least 30 minutes after.  I eat around 800-1000 calories a day, protein first, then veggies.  I eat fresh fruit only 1-2 times a week.  I typically eat 3 meals and 2 snacks.  I do eat a lot of Quest protein bars tho.  They fill me up and are easy to carry in my bag, so if I need a pick me up while out and about, I can grab a bar.  So I uploaded a picture that was taken yesterday.  I highly recommend newbies take their pics and weigh/measure monthly and keep a log.  I do it in case I get discouraged or sad - and I look back on how far I've come and want to motivate myself to hang in there.  So I wish you all a very successful journey of your own, and hope that my blog inspires some of you to either go for it - have this surgery - or keep on your plan to achieve the success you deserve.  Until next month -

I am doing so well that I barely feel that I have had RNY surgery.  To date, I am down a total of 74lbs, and 50.75 inches.  I didn't have a pre op diet so this is all since my surgery on August 13, 2013.  I couldn't be more pleased.  I simply hoped that I could get the weight off that I had gained once my lap band started giving me problems, which is what I set my original goal at - 135lbs.  Since then, I set another goal of 125lbs, and reached this goal, so have adjusted again to 120lbs.  This morning I weighed 123lbs. I eat on average 800-900 calories a day, and typically get in 80-100 grams of protein.  I don't drink anything caloric, including protein shakes or alcohol.  I get all of my protein from food.  I am quite addicted to Quest Protein Bars, which increases my carbs, but so far it doesn't seem to have stalled my weight loss.  I do feel a little queasy after eating a whole protein bar, especially the ones that have some sugar alcohols in them, but I can deal with the nausea which only lasts for about 30 minutes to an hour.  Since my surgery, I haven't eaten any sweets - I don't know if I dump, but the feeling I get from my Quest bars makes me think that I could if I took in more sugar - plus sugar, especially chocolate, was my 'drug food' of choice pre surgery, so now that it is out of my system, I don't miss it.  My Quest bars give me the all the chocolate I want.  I drink a lot of water, all day, every day.  I make sure to get in at least 10cups a day, and have never been dehydrated.   My goal is to take advantage of this honeymoon period and try to get to the lower end of BMI for my height so I have some 'bounce back' room.  I actually feel terrific - maybe it's all these vitamins I take.  I am getting on my treadmill about 4-5 times a week, for 30 minutes.  I want to up my exercise and do more strength training to try to firm up.  I don't have much loose skin because I had a lower body lift when I lost my weight with the lap band.  But the arms are quite giggly, so really trying to firm them up.  Anyway, I post new pics every months also, if you are interested in seeing my progression.  Till next month.