sleevegirl

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Guess what....????

I weigh under 300! Woot!

Oversharing, but I seem to stall out during my period. REALLY annoying. So, I was stuck at 301 (and, of course, gained a pound or few - and although I know they aren't "real" it's still there and anoys me) for almost 2 weeks. It was annoying. Did I say that already? Anyway, yesterday it said 300 but I didn't want to count that chicken yet... this morning... 298. Yay! 

I cannot remember the last time I weighed under 300.

So... that brings us to to total lost of 77 pounds, 57 since surgery on 6/21. I do wish it was a little faster, but really, not sure what I expect. I mean, it took 30 years to get all this weight ON me, it takes time for it to come off. 

To make good news even better, I managed to walk a 5k (that's 3.1 miles) in under an hour last night (57:44 finish time). I'm THRILLED. I could barely do 1/2 mile in 20 minutes before all of this.

Have I mentioned lately that, while this was the scariest decision of my life, it's the best decison I've ever made.

In other news, I told my husband that we cannot have leftovers of mac n cheese in the house - or banana bread. He made those earlier this week and while I did pretty good of not overindulging, I found myself wanting to "snack" on them all day. Definitely trigger foods that must leave. So, the left the house with him this morning. LOL

Going by the BMI calculator here, I started out at 60 BMI (which is super obese). I'm now 48 BMI (which is extremely obese). I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'll be glad to see that obese word leave forever, but I have a long way to go. I'll celebrate (without food) today an move on doing what I need to get done.

Just a quick update... I had my surgeon appointment today... 12.5 weeks, total of 73 pounds down, 53 since surgery. I weighed 302 (GRRR, 3 pounds away from my first big goal here).

Feeling great... 

Doctor was much more positive this time, I've lost around 3-4 pounds each week since my last visit, so he's happy. I get to eat salad now, so *I* am happy! LOL!

Anyway... not much else... he said to just keep doing what I'm doing :)

... and 69 pounds (49 since surgery) gone. Poof. Bye bye. I'm so close to being under 300 that I can TASTE it. (It tastes a lot like chicken, yes) Heh.

My hair is now coming out in earnest. I knew it would happen. Nothing I can do about it. I actually have a theory. See, the hair is basically going to come out anyway, it's already decided how much. From what I have read (correct me if I'm wrong here), it stopped growing for a while because of the shock of surgery. So, it falling out now is from the new hair pushing it out or the follicle releasing it. So, I don't think being gentle on it will do anything. So I'm brushing the snot out of it. I HATE stray hairs that get stuck on my chair, pillow, car seat, etc. It makes me crazy. So be it. I'll have thin hair for a while. If it gets bad, I can get a hair piece or something for a while or wear hats/scarves or something. I dunno, but the stray hairs everywhere are DRIVING ME COMPLETELY CRAZY.

I guess I hadn't realized just how fogged out my brain was. I knew I couldn't concentrate on things for long, but I really did fall behind with work and clients. I had this pile of "sort of done" stuff but dude... it was "sort of not done". I just hadn't really realized that it really wasn't sort of done at all. I think that has been the single biggest thing for me... the total shut down of brain activity. *laugh*

I've only lost 1 pound this week so far. I think it's the cheese products (sigh, I know better than to be eating lots of soft protein, I need to knock it off NOW), lack of sleep and not getting my water in. I need to get back on the horse again now that I've had my week of low sleep to catch up on real life. I also need to get back in the gym and hit it hard again instead of doing the easy stuff. Thank goodness for my trainer, she keeps me honest twice per week with the strength training, but the cardio is all on my own.

I do have a couple of NSVs (non scale victories).

1. I was at a business networking event last week and someone grabbed me and pulled me out into another area where there were booths and said "we need to talk about something, gotta minute" and sat down in the booth. I didn't even blink, I sat down across from her. About halfway through it hit me.. I was sitting in a booth and I didn't even think about it. I just sat down. Wow, how much of a mind screw is that?

2. At that same meeting I was sitting on the side of a table and someone needed to walk behind us to get to their seat. I went to look behind me to see if she had enough room and I realized... she absolutely has plenty of room. It was kind of sobering.

3. Okay, one more... and this is silly... our fridge is in the worst possible place in our kitchen. Seriously, when I get rich and redo the kitchen, we're doing something with that dang thing. It opens right at the doorway so if you are in the fridge, no one can walk in to or out of the kitchen. My husband was standing there grabbing something and I slid behind him and walked through. He stopped looked at me and said, "Do you realize what you just did?"... "Did I knock something out of your hand? I'm sorry.".... "No, you just slid right past me... I don't think you've ever done that before... that was cool!" *laughing*

Here's to watching that steering wheel get further and further away :)

Oh, and my next check up is on Friday. He wanted me to be down another 40 pounds in those 6 weeks, but I don't think that's realistic. I'm happy with the 20 since then; hopefully I'll have a few more before Friday, but I'm not going to stress about it. I am going to try to cut my calories back down again and see if that gets it moving again, I had to increase them last time to get things going.

So, I'm 10 weeks today. I'm down 63 pounds total (43 since surgery). That's almost 1/3 of the way to first goal of losing 200 pounds total from my highest weight. I'm not sure where I'll go when I get there, but I figure getting there is going to be far off enough that I don't need to worry about that just yet but it's nice to think about!

I'm feeling great. I've lost 4 pounds each week for the past 3 weeks, which is where my surgeon wants me to be each and every where. Amazingly, what has worked is increasing my calories a little, backing off of exercising as often and jacking up my calories and putting them back down again. It seems to be working so I'll keeping right on truckin'!

Nothing much else is going on. Getting into a routine. I've never thrown up or anything so it's been pretty smooth. My paperwork said shellfish at 5 months, he told me to try new things at 3 months. I will admit that I reached my breaking point with chicken and fish last week and made shrimp. I had 4, was full and it was SO good. Yummy. I just took it slow and chewed a lot, although I find that I don't have to over chew things, I can eat normally, just smaller bites - mainly to make it last longer so I am done in just a few minutes while the rest of the family finishes eating.

I won't say it's been easy... but the physical part has. I'm not hungry, I've been fine. Healing took longer than I would have liked. My head is mostly okay, but every now and then I have to remind my brain what's going on. I do sometimes grab a plate and start filling it before I remember, "Oh yeah, I can't eat like this anymore..." *laughing*

The only kinda sad thing is that my hair has started to fall out. A few days ago, I noticed more strands than usual. It's not BAD BAD yet, but yeah. I knew it would probably happen. I have really thin hair. I just hope I don't get any too thin spots. It is what it is.

Anyway, that's the update... feeling good and keeping on keeping on!

Wow, what a difference two months makes. I'm still fat. But I'm surely less fat than I was two months ago! I also feel AMAZING. I'm down exactly 59 pounds this morning (39 since surgery and 20 from the pre-op diet). I'm just constantly in awe that this is working. Even WITH a 20 day plateau. I've lost the equivelent of a 7 or 8-year-old. Seriously. Who the hell does that in 2.5 months? Crazy.

I skipped the gym last night because I put on a shirt and realized I was SWIMMING in it. I decided to go through my closet. I tried on every single item and got rid of about 1/3 of it. It was just way too big. I then went through the stuff I packed away about 5 years ago because it got to small, I almost donated the big Rubbermaid tub last year, but was too lazy to deal with it. I tried all of it on. It all fit. Even the jeans. I spent HOURS trying on everything. I can wear old pajamas that I kept for no real reason. I kept a few items that I might not be able to wear this late Autumn/Winter, but I figure I can deal with that when that season comes around but I'm trying not to buy too many clothes while I'm going through this rapid weight loss so we'll see. I gained a LOT of shirts. Overall, I lost pants, but the pairs I have are NICE.

I should say that I'm a bit of a clothes hound. I don't have a WHOLE lot, but I like nice clothing and I'm picky about it so I did have to put a few things in the "going away" pile that made me a little sad, but I quicky got over it when my very very favorite pair of pedal pushers FIT again!

I've gone from a size 5X (32s were too small, so big 5X at that!) to a nice size 26 or so (those of you who know women clothing sizes just rolled your eyes because "26" means "well, 26, but depending on the cut, it could be a 24 or a 28 or a size 10 or 11 in that weird 'new' clothing size they keep using at a couple of stores"). I can't fathom it. My upper stomach is weird. It's like my waist and hips have lost inches, but not the top part of my stomach so it's weird and sticky-outtie. It's annoying. It will go away and my waist/hips are what matter most anyway I suppose. Yay me! 

Random things:
1. Most people haven't really noticed, but those that know me well have noticed it mostly in my face and shoulder area.
2. I cannot believe how far away the steering wheel is now!
3. My trainer and I took measurements the day before surgery and then two weeks ago (so around 6 weeks). I cannot remember the exact numbers but I remember adding up both arms, thighs, chest, waist and hips and coming up with something like 18 inches lost around my body. 
4. I already have bat wings. My arms are gonna need work or I'm going to have to get over it. They creep me out.
5. Loose skin is everywhere but the most cumbersome is probably my hanging stomach, it's going to get worse, I know that. It's going to require plastic surgery in a few years, I'm sure. If I'm going to deal with that pain and suffering, I'm totally getting my boobs done. Just sayin'.
6. When your pants fall off, it's time to retire them.
7. A good bra is a beautiful thing. Bras should not be loose and worn like camisoles when you have saggy boobies.
8. I have started keeping a size smaller than what I'm wearing underwear package in my dresser. Each time I've gone down a size, it's happened overnight and baggy underwear SUCK.
9. I'm not hungry. While food is great and I enjoy some nice food (I had the most amazing seared rare ahi tuna the other night. OMG!), I can't say that I care about it. It's weird. I wonder what I do ith all my time now since I don't spend it stuffing my face! It and odd triumph feeling. It's like I'm free from that hold.
10. Back smoother bras by Catherines/Lane Bryant are freaking genius items. 
11. I'm still in awe that I have normal blood pressure and am off meds. I cannot believe how fast that happened!
12. I wish I was off the stupid CPAP machine (for sleep apnea).

Keep a friend of mine in your thoughts. She's considering getting a sleeve surgery herself. It has to be her decision and no matter which one she makes, I know it will be right one for her. I have anouther friend that is doing SO good using weight watchers online. We all have our own journey to walk. It doesn't matter HOW we get there. Just that we do.

I hear people say that their only regret of getting weight loss surgery was that they didn't get it sooner. I get that. I totally do. And while I somewhat agree with them, I don't completely. I don't think that's fair because I wasn't ready for it sooner. I'm completely happy that I did it and my only regret is that I wasn't ready for it sooner. It's taken a lot to get me here and I'm working hard to make this a huge sucess. I have Dr. Ganta and his office, a personal trainer, a counselor, a chiropractor, my primary doctor, and last, but definitely not least my wonderful husband and two great kids. ALL of those people are on my side. They are all rooting for me and I consider them some of the most amazing people. Without them, this would simply not be working for me. I'm feeling... grateful.

Because I'm trying to avoid buying new clothes, I've been dealing with the baggy things and doing a lot of closet shopping. BUT my underwear are a great measurement for me. I've been struggling with being stuck off and on but it seems like when that happens, my clothes fit differently. Sure enough, yesterday I had to break out a new size underwear (I HATE baggy underwear so I'll just have to keep buying them, honestly). Today, I'm down 2 pounds. I'm not sure I trust it completely, but I'll take it.

I also remembered tortilla pizzas from my low carb days. I bought some Mission Carb Balance Wheat 6" tortillas, heated both sides in a skillet with a little Pam. I heated up some leftover japanese chicken, mushrooms, zuchinni, etc too. I put a teaspoon of marinara sauce on the tortilla, a little cheese on top of that and the hot leftovers on top and then let it cook for a few minutes until it was all melted and a yummy pizza thing. I bought some olive tapaneade and some salsa and stuff, I figure I can change it up and use up the leftovers in more creative ways. I'm getting tired of straight leftovers, honestly. Plus the doc said to stop worrying about carbs. I chose the wheat carb balance though because they are the thinnest and have 10 fiber in it.

It also helped me hit higher calories, I got just over 900 yesterday! Score! Who knew this would EVER be a problem I would have? It's funny because I've eaten the toppings off of a pizza a few times and it felt so greasy and fake. I haven't tried the crust, I don't imagine that I will, honestly. The tortilla is very thin and small and was super yummy. Whew. And everything went down well, everything was soft enough, etc.

I also skipped out on working out last night. Apparently, I need to eat carbs and be lazy to lose weight. I'm totally kidding ;) Looking forward to getting more and more into strength training. If I'm honest, I don't like the walking, the elipitcal or the treadmill all that much. I do it because I'm supposed to and I feel good after. But I really kind of like weights. It's hard sometimes, but I like the challenge and I like seeing muscles pop up - and even more so - pop up through the fat these days. So fun. Plus I like the feeling of being strong and able to kick some ass if needed ;)

I also totally respect my surgeon, but I'm not sure that his goals will be inline with what my body thinks it needs to do. I really do think it's just holding on to every ounce of fat for dear life. Losing weight, even when I was doing it right, has always been kind of difficult. I think I will go visit my primary doctor and have her pull labs earlier though. I should have been on my vitamins long enough now (a month) that it should be accurate. I'm interested to see how they look. I also want to talk to her about B12 shots vs the sublingual pill I'm doing now.

Okay, that's it for now... Can I also say that I'm SO exited to hit 300? I know I have at least a month or two to go, but I cannot WAIT.

So, I had my six week check up today. It went okay. I was pretty happy with my 50 (30 since surgery, 20 pre op) pound loss considering I had a nearly three week stall, but he wants to see more. I need to lose another 40 pounds in the next six weeks. Yikes. He wants me to lose 135 in six months (that's about 60% of my excess weight).

In some ways, I'm feeling like "okay, let's do it" but I'm scared of running into another stall. He told me to stop tracking my fat and carbs and only track calories and protein, so I'm going to try that and see how that goes. He said if I start to stall again, to increase calories for a couple of days and then cut it back again. He also said that I should exercise as much as I can, twice a day is fine as long as I'm keeping up my fluids, etc.

So, I'll try all of those things. 

Still 135 pounds loss by Christmas seems like such a daunting task.

It wasn't all bad. I thought I was going to have to wait until 5 months for a salad, but he said I should be okay at 3 months. Yay! I can also take Advil around that time too so if I get this swelling from pulled muscles again, I can pop one.

So, here we go... I have some serious booty to kick in the next six weeks!

Woot! I finally hit 50 pounds lost! That last little pound was being a big pain! **happy dance**

In other news, joined a gym, been walking and feelin' good! 

The scale moved another pound. Yay! I think this means the stall is over for now. WooooHooooo! Finally!

Whew! So I won't be the only woman who eats 500-700 calories per day and is obese. Relief!  

I don't trust my scale. LOL

So, I've been stalled for 20 days (as of today) and the scale actually went up a couple of pounds and started moving down slowly late last week. Still not down to what it was, but today it showed a new low. One little pound. I want to believe this is a downward trend, but I refuse to scream "finally!!" quite yet.

Freaking scale.

TOM is just gone, so hopefully that release whatever water weight I had going on. I usually retain water during it. I've been exercising every day, joining a gym, walking, etc. It's hot here in Austin so just keeping on doing what I'm supposed to be. I REALLY want to succeed at that 5k I signed up for in October, so I gotta keep going!

Hurt my back, went to the chiro, let's hope it's fixed, but I'll probably head back later in the week. Ahhhh... love my chiropractor. My doctor has support group meetings on Wednesday, think I'll head there.

Umm... rambling much?