February 8th, 2015

Feb 07, 2015

I got me email reminging me of how long it has been.  9 years.  That is how long my life has been extended.  That is how long I have had to work on  my body, mind, and soal.  I reviewed the last few enterys I made, none in the last few years as my life is a busy, beautuiful existance and I would not trade it for all the money in the world.

Even the last couple of weeks have had me reeling.  I was just promoted to a salary position at work, witnessed my dearly departed BFF's second grandchilds birth. (and she is perfect!)  Still care for my adult disabled daughter, her husband, and my mother... who's health has improved as I have controlled her food preperation and medical care for the last couple of years.  She was also given only 3 years to live 4 years ago,.  I know every day is a bonus... and I KNOW she is happy and has everything she needs by us caring for her. 

My body is at it's normal.  After the 5 year mark, I have slowly gained 20 lbs. At first I kept panicing and trying to adjust my diet by joining a dieting group, but that just made it worse.  I found I just have to keep in the food groups that work for me and let the rest go.  Staying off the scale helps.  Even after surgery, it is not really my freind.  What am I comparing myself to anyways?  My doctor says I am healthy as a horse.  My "up- from - surgery but no where it used to be weight" has stayed the same for so long now that I feel comfortable.  I was careful at the time of surgery to let the doctor know I was worried about being too skinny, and that healthy was my goal.  I am healthy. 

I am turning 51 years old this year.  For the last few silent years away from this sight, I have been traveling for work where I will slip into a lovely cocktail dress for evenings out... traveling on vacations where I actually wearing bathing suits in public.  I do get dizzy when standing up on occasion, but, for me it has been it is a vitamin issue that I can easily corrrect.  just like any one else, I do get relaxed and forget to keep those little tasks on track.  especially when I travel.  I swear I have found every eating establishment from Illinois to Kentucky to Vegas that serves vegetables in some form I love.  lol

The biggest habit I have to break is still buying clothes that are too big for me.  I try to always put them on before purchase... and take a sounding board person with me, for what I believe looks like it will be too tight, seems to end up just right.  I love wearing blouses at work, and am rarely self consious about how I look when I leave the house.

I hope your journeys are going as planned.  I know from experience that it is a long road.  My occasional bite too many can still cause me to get sick.  That I still cannot eat icecream and drink milk.  But, I am 50 years old and know I dont look it.  Many a morning I feel like it, but I dont let it stop me from going for goals.  and I have met them every year for 9 years now.  I will try not to be such a stranger.  Your journey needs attention too.  Your successes are important and matter to the rest of us too. Just wait till your 9 plus years down the road.  You will be amazed that your world will be completely changed and the stresses you feel know will be vanished. 

It feels good to be able to manage my life.  I am in control!

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