Angela M.

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Today is two weeks post op but I havent gotten on the scale yet. I will later. BUFFY GOT APPROVED FOR SURGERY!!! She called me last night and we talked for over an hour and she made me feel better. We are making plans to go to Virginia Beach, should be awesomeee. I guess there is a group next week that I want to go to. It should be cool. Today I have my appointment with Laura at 1:30 to move onto stage 4 foods. Should be interesting. I slept really good last night for the whole night for once. Must be since I finally got my stupid school work done. This class reallly stresses me out and its made me so grumpy lately but oh well...only 3 more months and like 5 days... greattt! Okay well Im gonna go its freezing, laterrr!

*I lost another pound, yippeee* Okay so thats 21lbs in two weeks. Pretty sweet deal. I still havent gone to the nutritionist but I felt like writing anyways- I put a new pic in my gallery of just my face compared to the day before surgery, everyone keeps saying my face is so much thinner but ummm yea it doesnt look that way at all to me- the ONLY difference in the two pictures is that my hair isnt a mess and I dont look pissed off, oh well!

Okay so I made a MAJOR life decision. I have been super depressed, grumpy, and generally pissed off the past two weeks because I didnt know what I wanted to do with me life...I am VERY good at psychology but I hate it. Id love to be a teacher but I hate public speaking and just about every subject there is. The only thing I could teach is health but I would have a hard time finding a job, pay sucks, and there isnt much room for advancement. So I really really want to be a dietician/nutritionist...but I completely SUCK at chemistry/math which are major requirements to the degree...but Im taking the plunge anyways. I figure I can do anything I set my mind to. That field is constantly growing, just with a bachelors degree I can make $44,000 a year but I plan on getting my masters, my cousin Jessica has her masters and a special certificate in psych and she only makes $40,000 and HATES her job terribly...I can work for ANYONE...a magazine, a tv show, campbells soup, breyers ice cream, the state, a bariatric program, the federal government, a doctor, ANYONE in the food industry, the school department, a hospital, nursing homes, wellness programs, a gym...the list goes on and on AND ON...maybe I'll minor in psych and the write my own WLS book or something! WHO KNOWS! Sooo Im applying to Framingham State College (we are seeing the school feb 3rd at 10:00am)...the only school close that offers that program, the only two other schools that have it is UMASS and Boston University. I was thinking Id just transfer in the spring but now my mom has put the idea in my head that I should transfer for fall, we shall see. Its going to be SOOOO hard, I'll have to bust my ass incredibly hard every single day because I really suck at all things science and math and that IS the major...but I got brains and I really need to do something for myself for once. So thats my big news, nobody else knows yet- YOU were the first, whoever you are reading this haha. Okay well so hopefully I keep losing this weight because I dont want to be a FAT dietician! haha

I just got back from meeting with Laura- I LOVE HER! Im so happy she is my nutritionist. I talked to her and Christine about my plans (from above) and they were so super supportive and Christine actually went there, to both the undergraduate and masters programs. She said they have an AMAZING reputation and that I can do it definitely. Im sikeddddd. I have to finish applying by feb 15th so I really have to get on the ball. My diet is advanced to stage 4 so I can eat:

low fat condiments
chicken
tuna
turkey
eggs
egg beaters
cheese
boca burgers
tofu

for FOUR WEEKS! Im happy now but Im sure it will get old fast haha. Oh well Im going to go try some chicken salad, yummmmy! =)

Okay so I tried chicken salad at 5..now its 8 and I want to vomit...it tasted so good and felt fine in my tummy but Ive been SICK for the past two hours and thats the only thing Ive eaten. Man!!!

Im pissed off at the world right now. Im having such a hard time today, which I know will pass but its hard to see the "other side" when I feel like this. I havent eaten a thing today. My mom bought me boost but I dont want them. I drank a few ounces of water and thats it...I dont want anything. I wish I could weigh 300lbs for the rest of my life and just eat myself to death. I want chinese food and pizza and all the rest of those things that are bad for me. I wasnt ready for this, I know I wasnt, but I did it anyways and now I cant turn back. It was all fine and dandy when the scale was moving because it seemed worth it but I guess I've hit my first stall already because the scale isnt moving at all, I mean 20lbs in like 12 days is amazing but I guess I always want more. 

Okay well I vented here for my own sake I dont really need anyones comments.

Im pissed that we dont have anymore CIB but I really dont want to buy another pack because the only sugar free ones I found were in a combination pack and I hate vanilla and strawberry so those just go to waste. Like I said in my previous post...the rest of my proteins are grossing me out- especially Isopure...so if anyone wants to buy them off me I have like 10 unopened bottles of assorted Isopure and every flavor of Smart-Forme...I can mix you up a variety 7 pack and charge you a little less then they do. Most people LOVE smart-forme and I guess I did too but the biggest thing about after surgery is that you really dont want the same thing twice, at least thats true in my case. I have half a can of soup, half an isopure, a cup of pudding, and the rest of my yogurt sitting on the top shelf of the fridge because I wanted all those things at one point and now Im sick of them. Even my pops are dwelling in the freezer untouched. And today I really have no appetite, Im dreading that I have to eat something...its already 11 and I drank a few ounces but even that I have to force. Its times like this that I feel like I could go the rest of my life without food and Id be just fine. Others I cry because I want something stupid like pizza. But getting on the scale is so worth it. I didnt do all my measurements again but I just did my neck last night for the hell of it and I lost a whole inch on my neck, thats amazing! Im hoping to lose at least 2 more...then I can wear all my fancy necklaces! My great support system has helped me out TONS in the past few days with head hunger. I wouldnt say that I got to the point of regretting the surgery- I was just miserable because I couldnt chew from time to time...and my mom was very supportive but also Sean, Nick, and Lindsey...they kept me in line. Im thankful for that. I wasnt even going to tell Nick about my surgery but I did and he suprisingly took it very well, he had a few questions but in the end thought it was awesome. Im glad I chose to stay friends with him even though we argue so much. I miss groups...I want to see Roxanne and Buffy really bad!! Im not sure when the next one is but I know they have a post-op group feb 8th and that should be pretty cool. I guess a lot of people go and the doctors and nutritionists do too. So wednesday is my meeting with my nutritionist Laura and I cant wait to be moved onto the next stage! Im kind of afraid that I'll stop losing weight once I start eating a bigger variety. But I'll talk that over with her. Okie dokie I got an email from Patti so Im going to write her then bundle up because IM FREEZING COLD!!! =)

Down 19lbs. Life is very boring, Im sick of drinking protein shakes and I ran out of CIB - and hanks & smart-forme gross me out. Tastes really do change. So Im living off milk, yogurt, and cottage cheese for my protein. I tried some egg beaters yesterday and they were really tasty. Wednesday I get the clear to eat soft and pureed food but I already ate cheese, egg beaters, and oatmeal and they felt really good and I handled them well. Im sticking to just protein until wednesday though. I found ff/sf fudgsicles, forgot the brand but they arent too bad- I may have one every other day or something. My sf popsicles are good too but they are only 1.6 ounces. I dont really love fruit 2o anymore and Im sick of grape drinks but we also got pink lemonade, cherry, and orange to try. Its just before I went through them so fast but now Im hardly drinking so if I make a flavor its there forever. 

*My phone hardly ever rings anymore and Id like to keep it that way. Im so annoyed with the phone and computer. Im not even being anti-social because Ive had people over like every day and Ive been out shopping and stuff, I just seriously hate the phone and computer now. I cant hold a conversation with someone on the phone for more then 2 minutes and I have nothing to say when people send me messages online. Maybe its the start of me actually having a REAL life! We'll see.*
'
'----> I just wanted to correct this tidbit so more people dont get the wrong idea, when I say that I really dont want to talk and write to anyone I dont mean ANYONE, because many of you have gotten plently of messages from me over the past few days...what I did mean was before I was an online/phone whore, I was addicted and it was pretty pathetic... and I talked to millions of stupid guys that I didnt even know (and people like that) to pass the time and escape my pathetic reality and as of late, they dont call/message me anymore...so Im rid of that, have no interest for more of it, and THATS what makes me feel like Im actually having a real life now. I thought my friends would be happy for me since my computer addiction was becoming a real problem in my life and causing me severe sleep deprivation. Im not like Steph, Im not acting better than any of my FRIENDS and the people on OH who I've formed a connection with....just in case you were confused.

Everyone is telling me they can see my weight loss, it feels good because I dont see it, but 20lbs is a huge turkey...Maybe I'll see it or feel it at like 50lbs. I had my appointment with Dr. Arcand friday and I told him I can drink massive amounts and he wasnt concerned at all. I also told him about my diaphram spasms and he wasnt concerned about that either...he just said things are healing and it'll take some time to feel normal. Im slacking on vitamins but I've been taking my pepcid and calcium. Hmmm that's about it, I wanna go watch tv or socialize because my family is over. Ciao! 

One week post-op and Im down 14lbs, awesome huh?



Okay well I really couldnt stand the same old that Ive been eating so I ate something I really wasnt supposed to, Weight Control Oatmeal. Uhm it felt really good going down and before I started my tummy hurt, after my tummy ache is gone and I have energy! I wont make this a habit but other programs let you eat oatmeal/grits! wtf

Well everything is going really well I guess. I walked a little bit today but for the most part I slept because Im having the hardest time sleeping at night...even when Im beyond exhausted. I have no clue why...so I have to lie in bed doing nothing all night then sleep all day on and off. Even if I stayed up all day and did a bunch of stuff and then went to bed at midnight, I still wouldnt be able to sleep- what gives? So yea the no chewing is getting old fast and Im worried because I still have 8 more days until I can advance my diet. Ive already lost something like 12lbs. My biggest concern though is that I can drink way more than 4-6 ounces of liquid at a sitting and people I talk to have trouble getting in 6. At first I was worried that Dr. Arcand made my pouch too big but now me and my mom have a different theory- see ever since I started water in the hospital Ive been getting (TMI) diarrehea so I think that the opening at the bottom of my stomach is too big so liquids go RIGHT through me. If I didnt have anything to eat and then I drink some water...I go right to the toilet, isnt that strange? Its like dumping on water. So thats why I can keep drinking...it just empties TOO fast. I have to add that to the list to ask the surgeon about friday. My cough is still holding steady but my drops are helping. I fell asleep with one in my mouth (thank God I didnt swallow it) and I didnt cough the whole time. Okay but I need to do something, I have cramps and guess what? My period is starting!!

I wish people on the boards would take the stick out of their asses and be a little more polite and helpful. Instead of everyone telling me after midnight to call my doctor about my cough  and how Im supposed to be coughing (yea but not to the point of severe pain and sleep deprivationg) they could have just reccomended something in the meantime until business hours so I could get some sleep. But nope- I havent slept in days until by myself I decided that sugar free all-natural herb cough drops were okay to take and that helped 150%...I dont even need to call the doctor anymore. Okay rant over. Nightie =) 

ELEVEN POUNDS IN FIVE DAYS!!!! I need to stop getting on the scale omg. =)

I dont really want to type much so Im just reposting what I put on the Jan 07 board, I'll write more later....

Hey guys I got home from the hospital yesterday and I just wanted to update everyone on my status. Im doing really well. I do have this nagging cough that is lingering and making my tummy achey and its kind of hard to sleep since the cough is worse when Im not sitting up straight but other than that Im fine. Ive been up and walking around since day 1 post-op and that helped SOOOO MUCH! Ive been off pain meds since the 2nd day, I have percocet and tylenol here at home but I havent felt the need to take either. Ive tolerated everything Ive tried to eat/drink and Ive made my prtein and water intake goals for every day. Its a little hard to remember my vitamins but my mom is helping me out with that. I have been up moving around and doing almost everything for myself. I got up and down the stairs to get to the bathroom and I can bend and pick up things of a reasonable weight. My support system is helping me out SOOO much mentally. Im so thankful for my mom and my bestest friend Lauren, they have no idea how much they have done for me. I just cant really concentrate on too much. I dont want to watch tv, read, listen to music, talk on the phone, or do school work...its tough. I kind of just want to be in the quiet and sit here, not even sleep. I got on the scale on day 3 post op and Im down 5lbs (correction: down 9lbs) from right before I left for the hospital. Like everyone said the worst trouble I had was the gas pains but Im telling you I got up right away and it felt WONDERFUL! Good luck everyone who's date is coming up and thanks to everyone who was pulling for me!

Im not quite at that "what have I done" stage yet but Im telling you- its almost there! Only reason- COUGHING. I keep coughing up clear mucus, which is good because it WAS yellow and its not anymore but Im coughing SOOO MUCH and it comes without warning very suddenly. I have to grab my belly and it KILLS. I dont know what to take, I just posted on the boards to ask people. Seriously if Im still like this tomorrow then I'll be in HELL. Oh yea and my insurance wouldnt cover my perscription for prevacid. Im not happy. How quickly things change...