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Well OH family I made it through the Thanksgiving holiday.  I must say the food was very good.  I ate like it was my last supper needless to say wdhen I got on the scale I realized that I had gained more weight. Would you believe that I have gained 17lbs since making the decision to have WLS.  I think that I have lost my mind I mean I have been eating things that I normally would not even be eating.  I guess my mind set was "What difference does it make I will be having WLS soon so I had better eat everything that I love because after WLS I wont be able to eat this way".   WTF is wrong with me?  Now I have to work to get this additional weight off.
Spent time with the family of course that meant taking pictures.....OMG.....wait until I post the picture of myself.  Good God....I had no idea I was that big.  Needless to say that I pulled out my Opti Fast.  Initially I was not going to start until December 1, 2009  but no....I need to start the transition to my new life.  I mean I am having a hard time fitting into most of my cloths.

OMGeezers .... I cant stay off this website.  It's now Sunday evening 9:39 pm...I have been on this dam website all day.  I just sit on the site looking at all the wonderful transformations, wishing, hoping and praying that one day I too will be a success story....I try to imagine myself 100lbs. lighter and how my whole life would TOTALLY be changed...

Not that I'm not loving myself but I just feel like my weight is holding me back from being the best that I can be.  I'm kind like....my friends want me to go out with them and party but I feel fat.  I know that I'm cute and I get hit on all the time but i feel fat.  Inside I feel my heart racing as the weeks pass. It's so near and yet so far....its the unknown.  How will people respond to me I what will my family think.  What will it be like to go shopping with my skinny girlfriends and actually buy something.  

So I just got my tentative surgery date today.  MMMhhhh oh yeah go me ... go me .... go me....   Initially I thought that i just had one round of consults with my doctors but I actually once all of the reports have been sent to my surgeon I have to see the nutritionist,  the cardiologist, the psychiatrist and the surgeon again before surgery.  Once I have gone through that then I will be ready to start my new life.  I am getting more and more excited everyday.  I still have not told my family.  They are just to negative for me.  They never support any of my endeavors despite the fact that I am successful with everything that I set out to accomplish.  The problem is that they always seem to think that I am coming up with some wild idea just out of the blue.  A little know fact about me....I don't run around and announce  what I am going to do.  I don't involve other people in my decision making process.  I am pretty good at weighting the pro's and con's before making a decision.  so when I start to talk about it they just think that its something that I just came up with... uh uh that's not how it works with me.  And I am really not in the mood to hear "Why dint you just diet" ....... "Why don't you just exercise" ......"I just do blah....blah....blah".  I don't want to hear  it.  

So my tentative surgery date is January 15 2010.  I was in the mall today and i started looking at skinny clothes.  I cant wait until I can fit into regular sizes again.  I feel so fat and it is such a chore to get dressed in the morning.  But I don't want to buy anymore fat clothes. 

Boy talk about  long day. I went to all of my appointments. I got lost going to psych consult but I got there on time. I have to ,tell you that my docs office does not play.. I thought I would be ready to go after this round of consults.  Nope!  I will have to see the nutritionist,surgeon and cardiologist again.  As such the possibility of having this done this year in out. Which is fine with me.  After meting all of my surgeons colleagues I am feeling more confident about his abilities.  So after my appointments I picked up all of my vitamins except Zinc and B-12.  I think I'm going to have to order those online. But I am so excited that next year I will finally meet my weight loss goals.

So today is a crazy day for me. I have my fasting blood work at 8:00 (starving now) Then I have my appointment at 10 with  the nutritionist, 11:00 Cardiologist, 1:00 Psych.  Whew I am tired just thinking about it. Next week I have my Upper  and abdominal xray.  After that I have another visit with the surgeon and nutritionist and I have to attend 2 support groups.

O.k. so today was my 1st consult with my surgeon.  I arrived at his office 15minutes early only to be told that my appointment had been canceled.  I was like WTF....no one called to tell me we needed to reschedule.  Well apparently the office left a message on my home answering machine.  (I never listen to the thing)  So she saying mamame what day would you like ....  i am near tears.  I was like I have taken the day off from work......I have scheduled my childrens appointments with their doc's to capitalize on this time and you are telling me that I cant be seen .   She says well these things do happen....he is a surgeon.  I was like i need a minute to regroup.  Now I'm thinking can I go back to work??? I have got to save all my time for when I am out recovering and save time should my kids get sick.  Well thank God for persistence.... the surgeon was sitting right next to her.  He slid over to the window and said "I'm am going to a meeting but if you can wait a hour I will come back for you.    God is good.  So he saw me and all things went well. Looks like I may be getting my surgery in early January. 

Well I had my pulmonary consult on Wednesday.  It went well I got 110%. The Doc said I had a little sleep apnea but the surgery would get rid of that therefore he cleared me for surgery.  e

I am so excited I had my Pulmonary appointment today.  Doc said i was a 100% go.  He said I had mild sleep apnea but that should not stop me from the surgery. Yeah......

Onederland is somewhere between 199lbs and 160lbs.  To get there you have to take Leave Fatty Foods Lane. From there you take a right on Lay off the Sugar Road.  Then take a left onto Put Down those Potato chips Road then bear right onto I Know You Are Not Going To Eat That Whole Pizza Square.  Then another left onto Get You Ass Off The Couch Dr ive go down about 5 miles onto Exercise Exercise Exercise Circle.  It is along journey.  It takes drive, determination and perseverance to get there.  There are alot of bumps in the road but if you are committed to being the best that you can be you will get there.  Stay tuned weight loss losers I'm on my way to the gas station gotta fill up for the road ahead of me.

OMG I  can not believe that I have not slept all night.  I have been surfing this blog all damyum night.  I am so excited for my new life. Just thinking that in 2010 when I make my weight loss new years resolution there is a possibility that I will reach it.  As I look back of the last 10 - 15 years of  my life I must say I have been so successful in every endeavor that I set for myself.  Everything except my weight.  My school aspirations, my career, my home, my children, my marriage.  My Marriage.  Well when it was good it was good I was sssoo happy .  Then everything changed and when it was bad it was bad . But when I decided to walk away from that part of my life......when I finally said ENOUGH.....I did what I needed to do (I done dam near lost my mind.  We argue and fight at 6 in the morning.  I look in the mirror and I cant recognize myself.  I been through so much drama I took all I can but you leave me no choice) to close that chapter of my life.  When I finally woke up from what became a nightmare I told him it was time to signed them papers .  This ..... my weight has been my biggest failure.  I dont blame myself for my failed marriage because I was doing what I needed to do the X was the reason for our demize and though it ended I love the strong women that I became as a result of it.  But my weight is the one area of my  life that I have not been successful in.  I mean I have dieted and lost only to gain it back so I don't view that as true success.  I cant wait.  I scheduled all of my appointments on 11/17/09.  Talk about Gods grace.  One of the physicians workers told me that it would be impossible to get all my appointments on the same day.   I decided that rather than schedule them randomly and have to take several days off from work I would knock them all out in one day and save my time for when I am in recovery.  Boy I cant wait to recover from this life long addiction.  I have also decided to start taking Bioton.  My hair is already thin so if I can thicken it up before the WLS if I do have any loss maybe it wont be as bad.