Hi peeps.  Hope you all had a fantastic holiday weekend and that it was warmer where you are than it was here in sunny California.  It's been super cold here lately and windy and rainy.  They've even started calling it Juneuary.  Yuck.  Bring on summer!

Last week I lost 2.5 pounds, for a total of 69.5 pounds.  Only 10 more pounds to go and I will have lost 100 pounds since my highest (recorded) weight.  Crazy.  I'm now half way to my goal weight.  Numbers, numbers.  So many numbers!  I wonder...when will I actually start to feel smaller?  Some days I can really see the changes when I look in the mirror, but I honestly don't feel any differently.  Maybe that never actually happens?  Do any of you feel smaller?

I got my 6 month post-op lab work done on Saturday and the results have started trickling in.  I love that everything is online now!  I had every kind of test imaginable and I've only received about half of the results.  So far everything looks in order except for my iron, which is very low (and I'm already taking an iron supplement daily!).  My B12 is even ever-so-slightly above normal.  I'm curious as to what my A1C and protein levels will be.  I'll post my remaining results once I get them.

I've been ramping up my exercise in preparation for our trip to Europe.  If it's anything like our last trip, or our trip to NYC last year, we'll be walking all day long.  I was much heavier on both of those trips but I actually did really well being on my feet all day, though I was exhausted by the end of the day.  As soon as the day was done I was sitting with my feet up.  This trip I intend to be in much better shape so I have added an additional 15 minutes to my nightly treadmill walk and will increase it 15 minutes every 2-3 weeks until we leave.  My goal is to be 200 pounds by the time we leave.  If I don't make it, I'll at least be very close.  I can't wait to go!

I'm working on another post about my little shopping adventure on Memorial Day.  It's month-end close again at work so I'm back to working some overtime this week.  I hope to have it finished and posted within the next couple of days.

That's it for this week.  Continued success to you!

I've been away from OH for several days now.  I've got a few emails and posts to reply to.  I haven't forgotten you!  Just been busy  :)

We've been having some great discussions on a message board post I did and on a blog post Jennifer M did about daily calories and food journaling.  Here's a brief recap, and an update.

This whole thing started a few days ago.  Our program nutritionist does not want us counting calories.  She said we'll be fine if we're eating the way they want us to.  We may be slightly higher or lower on certain days, but their feeling is that it all evens out in the end and they don't want us developing obsessive behaviors in relation to exercise or eating.  You probably know that there is a high rate of transfer addiction in people who've had bariatric surgery so she actively talks to us about the importance of eating right and exercising regularly, but also stresses that we need to be careful.  She really wants us to focus less on food and more on living our lives.  I love her.  And that philosophy sits well with me.  So anyway, our program 'bible' has no mention of how many calories are appropriate, but it does have a lot of information by stage about what types and quantities are appropriate and has some sample menus (mostly relating to the earlier stages)

Compared to other people here, I think I lose on the slow side.  I'm honestly not too terribly concerned about it (usually) but it does make me wonder if I'm doing something wrong.  Am I eating too much?  Not exercising enough?  Or, is this just how my body works?

We had our monthly support group meeting a few days ago and the Nut was unable to be there that night (she usually runs the meetings).  I asked how many calories people were eating and most people said under 1000.  I said I could easily eat more than 1000 and some people there were horrified.  Several people kind of jumped on me and I was feeling really bad when I left.  When I got home I sent my Nut an email and told her what I'd eaten the past few days and waited for her response.  She replied yesterday and said I am right where I should be and doing great.  She said 1200 calories a day is fine as long as I'm exercising at least 30 minutes a day.  And she said it was fine to have a protein based snack if I was really hungry, even though it might push the calories up over 1200.  So I am now officially done freaking out.  I knew I was eating well and get a balanced diet but I was really concerned about the calories.  Not anymore. Thanks to everyone on those threads who replied.  It was a great discussion.

I've met some amazing folks here and I love that we all support each other.  A very special shout out to Jennifer M., JoAnne Lockey-Sarrault and Seattle_Maui.  Thank you, ladies!  From the bottom of my heart.   If you're not following these women... you really should be.  They'll rock your world.  I'm going to make it a point to highlight other folks going forward who have been especially helpful to me.

On a related note, who should I be following?  I'm sure I must be missing out on some amazing blogs because I simply don't know they exist.

I started taking Biotin the day after our support group meeting last month when the program leaders suggested we try it.  Some interesting changes have happened since then. 

Thankfully, I have an awful lot of hair on my head.  Every person who's ever cut it has commented on it.  My stylist thins it to within an inch of its life, so I can afford to lose a lot.  Even though I've lost some hair, I'm still good.  I can't say that I've noticed any difference in the hair on my head since starting the Biotin.  But, who really knows for sure.  Maybe I'd be losing even more hair than I am currently losing if I was not taking it.  The jury is still out.

However, the hair on my legs is crazy!  Well, not really but compared to my legs before the Biotin there is a big difference.  Other than the hair on my head, I'm not a very hairy person.  I can easily go 9 months between brow waxes, so I'm just not used to seeing all this hair on my legs.  Even though I'm hairier now, I'm definitely no sasquatch and it is easily managed with shaving.  If the Biotin will possibly lessen the hair loss on my head, I'll happily shave my legs more often.  No biggie.

I haven't really noticed any changes in my skin but my skin is terribly fickle.  Even my dermatologist comments on how sensitive it is.  So, I'm not expecting much Biotin benefit for my skin.

The HUGE change has been in my nails.  My whole life my nails have been paper thin.  They bend and peel and are practically see-through.  But since I've started taking the Biotin my nails are super strong.  Like, practically overnight.  It's trippy how much of a difference it's made.

So there you have it.  I'm definitely going to continue taking it until I'm finished losing weight, and may even continue after that.  My nails have never been better.

Have you taken Biotin?  What was your experience?

I lost 1.5 pounds last week for a total of 67 pounds.  I've now lost 87 pounds from my highest (recorded) weight.  I still can't believe that I'm 4 sizes smaller than I was in December.  It just doesn't seem possible.    

Last week I discovered Mission Carb Balance Whole Wheat Tortillas and I've had one almost every day since.  The fajita size is 80 calories, 12g carb (of which 8g is fiber), and 3g of protein.  These things are seriously delicious.  I've been using them as a 'bun' for turkey burgers and the boca chik'n patties.  They're working very nicely for me.  Very thin so that I'm not filling the limited space in my stomach with bread, but enough so that I feel like I'm actually eating a burger.  And I can eat with my hands!  Sometimes you just want to eat with your hands and not use a fork.  Anyway, I seriously love these tortillas.  Check 'em out.  My Nutritionist said these were great.  You should confirm with your Nutritionist though as yours may have different guidance for you.  

My mom has graciously agreed to go shopping with me on Memorial Day to get some new clothes.  I bought a couple of things at Marshalls last week.  I am probably one of the few women on the planet who does not enjoy shopping.  I actually feel somewhat overwhelmed and would give up rather quickly if left to my own devices.  So, this is a good thing that she's coming with me.  I hope I find some great things.   Not much else to report this week.  We spent a long weekend in Santa Cruz this past weekend.  My husband planned the whole thing by himself and he did a great job.  We stayed in a nice little motel right on the bluff near the boardwalk.  We didn't do a lot...DH ventured off to take some pics while I stayed behind to read my book (Rob Lowe's autobiography, FYI.  My guilty pleasure).  We listened to the waves, sat in the sun and listened to the seals barking.  It was heaven.  I'll post a few pics later.  

I guess the other thing of note is that we decided that we are forging ahead with our trip to Europe this summer.  My DH turned 50 this year and this was his birthday present.  I paid for the airfare back in January (since we used points to upgrade to first class, we needed to book waaaaaay in advance), well before I found out I would be getting laid off because my company was being acquired.  We've been going back and forth the past couple of months trying to decide what to do.  The tickets are non-refundable so we couldn't get the cash back, but we could reschedule for up to 12 months.  We decided to hell with it, we're going.  I'm sure Suze Orman would be horrified by our decision.  We don't have any credit card debt now so if I have to rely on Unemployment for awhile we'll be ok.  So, now that we've decided we're going ahead with the vacation, this week has been full of research.  I'm excited though and actually kinda relieved that we've made a decision, even if I'm not sure it's the right decision.  At least now I can free up that brain space to think about other things.  

How are you all doing?

I lost 2 pounds last week for a total of 65.5 pounds.

Overall I feel pretty good.  My appetite has reappeared.  I still can't eat very much at one time, but I am hungry more frequently now.  I haven't really been hungry since December.  Also returning are cravings.  So far nothing alarming, it's just a noticeable change from the last several months.  I guess it goes hand in hand with being hungrier and being more interested in food overall.  But I am making good food choices and getting a well rounded diet.  Nothing to worry about yet.

Recently I mentioned how tired I've been lately and I'm still struggling with it.  I literally could sleep 24 hours a day and it's often a struggle to stay awake at work.  Realistically this has to be affecting my productivity.  I try to push through it and stay focused but I'd be lying if I said it was easy.  Or that I was successful the majority of the time.  It's hard to concentrate and I often lose my train of thought.  I've read this is common when your body is in 'starvation' mode.  It's been two weeks now since I've exercised.  People always say that you feel better after exercise and that you should do it even if you're tired. But this is not 'normal' tired.  I am exhausted.  Barely-functioning exhausted.  Truly.  I'm also having an awful lot of headaches lately.  When this happened a few months ago it was because I was dehydrated from my blood pressure diuretic.  As soon as I stopped the pills, the headaches stopped.  I make sure I always get my 64 ounces of water in, but the headaches are getting more and more frequent.   I called my surgeon today to schedule my 6 month follow up appointment and told them about my energy level.  They said to increase my B12 and take additional iron, but I'm already doing that.  They referred me to the endocrinologist.  Even feeling like this, if I had to do it over again I would still have surgery.

This week I tried several new foods.  Lucky you!  You are the lucky recipients of my thoughts on these foods!  We always keep several protein powders at home and ran out of all of them simultaneously which is why we bought so many at once.  I need a variety.  No eating and drinking the same stuff for me every day.  No sir.

First up, Syntrax Nectar Cappuccino protein powder.  Yummy.  My brother in law suggested it and I love it.  It is not as good as homemade iced coffee, but it definitely satisfies my craving.  I love coffee.  In a perfect world it would be a little less sweet but I seriously love this stuff.  One scoop is 100 calories, zero carbs and 24g protein.  Can't beat that!  I've made it a few ways, but I like it best with 1c milk and 1/2c of water.

Next up are the BSN Syntha 6 Cookies & Cream and Strawberry protein powders.  Now, if you're paying attention at home you know that I am addicted to the BSN Lean Dessert line of powders.  They are seriously delicious.  Since we like the Lean Dessert so much, and the Syntha 6 line has so many different flavors, we wanted to give these a shot.  While both of these flavors were tasty, I don't like them nearly as much as the Lean Dessert powders so we probably will not order this line again.  My recommendation is to stick to the Lean Dessert powder (we got Chocolate Fudge for the first time last week and it rocked my world).

I'm constantly looking for new protein bars and I found one that is so good I can barely contain myself.  It's called Supreme Protein Carb Conscious.  We tried the Peanut Butter Prezel Twist and the Peanut Butter Crunch.  I wanted to try the Peanut Butter and Jelly , Cookies & Cream, and Rocky Road Brownie but they were out of those flavors.  They have 210 calories, 15g protein and 17g carbs.  Not my ideal choice nutrition-wise, but I don't eat them very often.  It's just nice to have them in my purse for those times when things come up and I'm not able to eat for whatever reason.  I use bars as meal replacements, not as snacks.  Of all the bars I've tried to date, these are my faves.

We've been trying to eat less meat and I have become slightly obsessed with the Boca spicy chik'n patties.  I could seriously eat these everyday.  Each patty has 160 calories and 11g protein.  For a store-bought mass-produced food they actually have some kick to them!  They make a non-spicy version as well but I haven't tried that one yet.  I would never be so bold as to say that it tastes like chicken, but they are really good.  Thumbs up on this one.

This past week I did a little shopping.  I only got 2 new tops but what an eye opening experience it was!  I headed into Macy's with my $10 gift card and 10% off coupon in hand (Macy's passed them out at the women's conference last week, along with a free Lancome mascara).  I wasn't entirely sure what size I am now but I took an educated guess and grabbed a 16 and an 18 off the rack in this super cute little pink and black number.  They looked so small that my first instinct was to put them back, but I forced myself to try them on first so I could gauge where I stood.  The 16 fit, though it was a little more 'fitted' than I'm used to.  But still...it fit.  And it wasn't super tight.  I could have easily purchased it and nobody would have said...um, maybe you want to rethink this decision.  I'm still getting used to my new body and I was more comfortable in the 18 so that's what I got.  I stood for a good long while in the dressing room just staring at myself in the mirror.  I have a waist now.  And an hourglass figure.  Yes, I'm still considerably overweight, but I have a definable shape now other than 'huge'.  I wore that top to work the next day and several people said..."OMG you're so tiny.  It's hard to tell from your other clothes just how much weight you've lost."  And that reminded of the first few support group meetings I attended prior to having surgery.  I found it so funny that everyone was just swimming in their clothes.  I think it's a combination of two things:  your mind takes a long time to actually 'see' how much weight you've lost, and it's super expensive to buy new clothes all the time.  Even if you buy them every couple of sizes.  Especially when your old clothes still technically fit.  Yes, they hang off you, but they do still fit.  So, I will give myself permission to buy some new clothes.  I've been putting it off for a long time now.  I despise shopping and so have never found any joy in finding bargains at thrift stores but honestly I think I need to give it a shot.  I simply can't afford to buy a new wardrobe when it will only fit for six months and then I'll have to buy an entirely new, new wardrobe. 

And how are my OH friends doing this week??

I'm on a roll!

Someone on the message boards had posted about the chipotle chicken skewars from Trader Joes.  They are in a box in the frozen foods section.  We got them and they're super good.  If you don't like spicy foods, do not be deterred by the 'chipotle' in the title.  They are not spicy at all.  While we were checking out other frozen stuff at TJ's we saw teriyaki chicken.  It's in a bag and also in the frozen section.  It's REALLY good.  You microwave the chicken and then pour the sauce over it.  It was ready in about 6 minutes.  I highly recommend both of those items from TJ's.

Also, we've been trying to eat less meat so we got some Gardein and Boca products to try.  I especially love the Boca spicy chicken patties.  I'm eating one right this second actually.  I've tried a lot of vegetarian stuff lately and, while I'm completely fine eating them, they definitely do not taste like meat.  These do though.  This one is definitely going on my regular rotation. 

Give 'em a try

Just a quick post to say I found a new shake I love:  Nectar Cappuccino.  It's roughly 100 calories per scoop, 22g protein and zero carbs.  It doesn't taste exactly like homemade iced coffee, but it's close enough to satisfy that craving.  I think it tastes pretty similar to the Starbucks Iced Coffee drinks in the glass jar at the grocery store.  In a perfect world it would be a little less sweet but I totally love it and am so glad I tried it.

Continuing on with my search for new protein shakes....

If you have any you love, please be sure to pass them on.

 

 

Is it just me or did this past week fly by at record speed?  Wow. 

Anyway, I did not lose even one ounce this week.  Not one.  I'm ok about it though.  I'm sure there will be many more stalls to come.  And honestly, this week was just not a very good one in terms of exercise so I'm sure that contributed to my lackluster results.  I'm still struggling a bit with nausea and zero appetite and the thought of exercising wasn't the slightest bit appealing.  And a few of the days I just wanted to read my book instead of hopping on the treadmill.  So, yes, I was a bit of a slug this week.  And I feel somewhat guilty, and yet I don't.  I've been so good about getting regular exercise that I refuse to beat myself up for an off-week.  But if this continues into next week, you officially have my permission to whip me.

Have a great week!

Five months ago today I had my surgery.  While I am still fundamentally the same person (for better or worse LOL) I have profoundly changed in a couple of ways. 

I have always been a fairly confident person but my confidence level has increased even more as I've lost weight.  In the back of my mind I always knew I was a little self conscious about my appearance and how I was perceived, but now, even with my batwings, I feel much better about my appearance.  I'm not constantly adjusting my clothing or trying to stand or sit 'just right' in order to minimize my size.  I no longer run from the camera.  When I spoke up in meetings pre-surgery I always worried that people weren't listening to what I was saying and were instead focusing on and judging the way I looked.  Until this past week only a few people at work had said anything about me losing weight.  Suddenly this past week people are coming out of the woodwork and giving me wonderful compliments.  I can tell by their faces and in the excitement in their voices that what they're saying is genuine.  It feels really good.   While I'm certainly no beauty, I *feel* more attractive and I carry myself accordingly.

The other change is that, for the first time in my life, I am hopeful about the future.  I know that this time next year I will be smaller.  By Christmas I will be smaller.  By the end of summer I will smaller.  My aim is not to be a super model, I just want to be comfortable in my own skin.  I want to be able to move through space and not be worried about whether or not I will fit into that booth, or if my butt will knock things off of someone's table when I walk by.  I want to ride a rollercoaster and not for one second be worried about whether I will fit, or how humiliated I will be if they ask me to leave.  I have spent far too much of my life being worried about my size, and for the first time in a very long time I feel free.  Well, freer.  I still struggle a bit with the body issues that have surrounded me for most of my adult life.  But even if I never lost another pound, I am happy with my size now.  I am now in the low 200s.  I can't even remember the last time I weighed that.  Probably 20 years ago. 

I hope that this has been your experience as well.  I am so thankful for all the people who have supported me.  I hope you have felt supported by me as well.  I don't know where I'd be if not for my OH family.  Thank you.

Be well today.

Hi everyone.  Hope you all are having a good week.

So last week I lost 1.5 pounds, for a total of 64 pounds.  Other than a few minor complaints, I'm feeling really great. 

Not sure why exactly but for the past few days I have had zero appetite.  Nothing sounds good and the thought of eating kinda makes me sick to my stomach.  I had these episodes pre-surgery as well and back then I just would not have eaten anything until I felt like eating again.  But post-surgery my needs are different and it's been a bit of a challenge forcing myself to eat.  I always have a protein shake or smoothie for breakfast but lately I've been having them for dinner as well.  Not ideal but it'll have to do for now.  I try to eat a pretty varied diet normally, but this week it's just not working out that way.  Oh well.  This will pass soon and then I'll be back to eating normally.  In the meantime I'm not going to worry about it.

I lost 12.5 pounds this past month, but you'd swear it was more if you saw my pictures.  DH and I take pics on the first of every month so we can document our progress.  The difference between last month's pics and this month's was astounding.  I'm so glad I have these pictures to look back on.  If you're not taking pics, I highly recommend you start.  Along those lines, my nutritionist has always encouraged us to take measurements, but I got a late start.  I kept meaning to and then would totally forget to do it.  But I did it last night.  DH was happy to help.  He looks for any excuse to put his hands all over me.  Silly hubby.

My hormones continue to be an absolute mess.  I have an appointment with my gynecologist next month.  I've read that weight loss can mess up your hormones so I'm not at all worried that something is wrong, but I'd just like a little reassurance.  And to get a sense of how long I can look forward to this.  In addition to near-constant spotting since the week after surgery, I've found myself to be more aggressive and more emotional in general.  It's a drag.

I started taking biotin after we discussed hair loss in last week's support group.  Some days I find I lose an alarming amount of hair, and some days hardly any.  Not sure if the biotin will help but it's worth a try.  I'll keep you posted.  I felt so bad for this one woman in the meeting last week.  I have no idea how thick her hair was to begin with, but it's downright sparse now.  Scalp is very visible and she has patches with virtually no hair at all.  My guess is that if she did not tell the people in her life that she had surgery, they probably think she has cancer since she's lost a lot of weight and has been losing her hair.  I hope for her sake this is as bad as it gets and she's on her way to growing more hair soon.

Who's got protein powder recommendations?  I love my BSN Lean Dessert line, but I'm looking for some new flavors.  I'd especially like recommendations for mocha and cookie dough powders but please let me know which ones you love regardless of flavor.

I will say it again...if you're not in a support group, you really should be.  You're missing out on something really great.  We meet once a month and I look forward to it all month long.  I love that there's a mix of pre-surgery folks, newbies and old timers.  This past week the topic was 'Spring Cleaning' and we discussed the things in our life that we need to get rid of.  It could be bad behaviors, clothes, people, jobs...whatever.  We wrote down all the things we're struggling with and the leaders pulled some out of the container and read them, anonymously, of course.  It led to some really great discussions and we all agreed it was a topic that needed to be revisited again soon.

That's it for this week.  Continued success to you if you're on this weight loss journey with me.  Now, send in those protein powder recommendations!