I'm on twitter; yeah I'm a Mamma but twitter is how my daughter & I chat when she's at her Dads every other weekend.  Some positive tweets on my TL yesterday...which I love because the soul requires no actual food but rather LOVE

"The only food our soul needs is love"

and this tweet from @daddygennn also made my day & I wanted to share it too...

"When some things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for the many more things that are still going right."

if you ever want to chat on twitter I'm @csbsteph but I warn you I don't mention being fat...& I'm not on there much anymore since I've found this helpful site but I just wanted to share some positives with y'all.

Blessings~Steph

Just recently had VSG on 3/13 and though some amazing things are happening/have happened already I've still got a ways to go.  I once liked Guns-n-Roses & their song "just a little patience" is ringing in my brain.  I'm going to keep up with how much I lose each month & only weigh myself every Friday morning.  This month starting my pre-surgical diet on 3/1 & today being the next to last day of the month I've lost 26 pounds total.  That's an amazing/miraculous victory for me.  I'm about to, from what I've read hit some stalls while my body new banana stomach figures out just what the heck happened & why aren't you feeding me McDoubles & sipping on Dr. Pepper anymore?  I will try & pray to be patient during this time. 

Yesterday I was able to get into an old pair of just my size jeans that I haven't been able to wear in a while...size? I dunno I got so fat & embarrassed about my size that I cut the size tag out, I'm the only one who does laundry round here but just in case my husband or daughter ever saw the size I just cut the tags out.  I look forward to not doing that anymore.  It is also somewhat freeing to me that I finally told them both what my pre-surgical weight was; I could've played football if I was in shape at that big ole size.  I'm not there anymore but I've still go a ways to go.

I'm feeling better than I have in YEARS and I'm so happy after waiting to get approved for surgery for two years that I finally got WLS.  Thinking back to the sad couch loaf I was just a few short weeks ago makes me shudder, now I want to get up & go or do something everyday even if it is just ride up the road to hop on my parents treadmill for now; gym already planned for 6 weeks out.  I already kept my house clean, but now it's getting a little more spotless as I don't hate cleaning as much anymore.  My cat is happy to get a few bites of my leftover salmon dinners, my dogs are confused...where the burgers at? I guess is what they're thinking.  My daughter is happy that I'm feeling good & we keep talking about our Halloween dress up plans-me as a StormTrooper her as Boba Fett.  I'm almost 40 but Halloween is fun & dressing up is fun; but I got too fat/self-concious to do it anymore.  Anyway I guess today is a Sunday reflection day for me.  I thank God & Doctor Mathews that I'm on my way to being the weight that before I only dreamed of.

26 pounds lost Psalm 26

I have to give thanks to Daisydoo02 for first directing me to this site by posting the link for cheesy cauliflower dippers-I'm going to make them & just tell my skinny people they're cheese sticks...Daisydoo02 I want to friend you but you're private, if you see this thank you & please be my pal.

http://www.superhealthykids.com/healthy-kids-recipes/cheesy-cauliflower-dippers.php

I'm still struggling with the preparing food for them (my skinny people with alien-like metabolism) & food for me but I'm still getting the hang of things & I want to just cook one meal for all.  The way I see it our/my newly sleeved stomach is like a new born babe like a little kids tummy & I want to feed it in a healthy way.  I know some folks do the "I eat the same foods just in moderation" but I can not do that as I don't know if I'd be able to moderate myself with McDoubles or corndogs but that's just me.  Although I already bake everything I still know full well that chicken tenders with breading aren't a good choice for me.

Anyway this web site has tons of delicious sneaky get them to eat healthy tricks & tips some of the current things on my grocery list are the chick-en nuggets, broccoli/carrot biscuits & the cheesy cauliflower dippers.  Mouth is watering just contemplating fixing these foods & my heart is hoping we can all sit down to a meal together with the same foods at the same time.  check it out http://www.superhealthykids.com/healthy-kids-recipes.php

I must let today go down in history as the day my Mom said "Have you noticed that your neck and chin seems to not be swollen anymore & that it's getting smaller?" Yes my love I've been super happy that my chin friend is shrinking.  My Mamma is also the one that first told me "honey your neck is swollen I hope your thyroid nodules haven't gotten any bigger." So yeah there's that & let me say I am thankful to have such an honest person in my life; though some of her comments about other things have been rather harsh she's my biggest critic & also my biggest cheerleader. 

Wow, just wow!  I've blogged about Gorton's Salmon before & lunch today & yesterday has been their Simply Bake Salmon roasted garlic & butter.  It comes two to the box 4 ounces each piece in a foil type, flavor holding in bake baggie.  Pop it in the oven on 350 for about 27 mins. & mmm-mmm good.  Each piece has 140 cal. Total fat 2.5 Total carb 8 & Protein 21 grams.

I chew each tasty flavorful piece about 100 times each & my cat sure has been happy with my few left-over bites.  I've Gotta go back to the store for more.

this blog is for anyone out there feeling low about how you look, or how you feel others see you.  This blog is a reminder to myself as well that we are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." God our Father does not make mistakes. I've made mistakes in this life so far on my journey but I'm not a mistake & neither are you.

Psalm 139:13-16 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.  So on days when we feel our lives have no purpose we should try to remember that we were wonderfully made to LOVE others, LOVE God, LOVE ourselves.

It's just amazing to know that with all my flaws right now though I'm just a work in progress God loved/loves me so much as I & you were wonderfully made.  God Bless YOU

Had a really good day today.  Spent a little time with my daughter, went to visit my folks & walk on their treadmill, spent some quality peaceful time with my husband next to a campfire in our back-yard firepit.  Today was a good day.  I'm blessed, I still have to pinch myself as I'm so happy that I've finally had WLS.  I've been taking care of folks & pets for so long that I forgot to take care of myself as I should, as God intended.  I've put junk in my mouth that didn't belong there out of the ease of how simple it was to just go buy a burger or pizza or taco.  I forgot that I am a temple.  I know we are all of different backgrounds & beliefs but God leads & directs my life.  That's my way of living.  I'm supposed to "honor God with my body" & take care of myself...I obviously failed but I have to set this straight too.  Hope everyone else has a blessed day tomorrow & as we go along struggling know that there is a higher power that we can turn to for direction in our lives.

taking care of yourself: http://www.openbible.info/topics/taking_care_of_yourself

I'm a TEMPLE

1 Corinthians 6:19-20Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

New on my journey & am so thankful for OH, this website is listed in my instruction manual from my Doctor as a go-to place to meet fellow WLS folks & for inspiration/information.  I found the site on my own when I was researching my VSG surgery & was just so blown away happy to have this place as a resource.  I also want to give a shout out to a lady named Shelly or as so many of us know her; theworldaccordingtoeggface.com though she & I have had different types of WLS she is a major inspiration to me.  Her blog, her recipes- found my future B'day cake idea on there, yes I typed cake-protein shake cake!, & I love her tips & helpful information & food ideas. 

If you've never visited her site you've got to; I love her lists too "50 things to do instead of snacking" is one I read a lot.  I'm just thankful for all of you, those that have read my joys & sorrows already, those that have replied to my posts & blog...Y'ALL ARE AMAZING & I'M SO THANKFUL FOR YOU.

Had a blue day yesterday but am thankfully feeling much better today.  I think I figured out why I was so blue about my appearance...I have a family event coming up & will be confronted with a person who always, ALWAYS makes hurtful comments about my weight.  This isn't a person that I can dare dream of being rude to nor would I if I could.  This person has been giving me a hard time about my weight even when I was only 170 pounds; for me that was a good weight, I'm almost 5'9 it wasn't skinny but sure wasn't fat either.  I am experiencing some anxiety about being around this person; every single time I see them "When is your surgery?" or something about me needing to get surgery...always, ALWAYS in front of & within ear-shot of several other people.

I wonder how skinny I'll have to get before this person finally gets off my back fat. x_O Am also wondering if age gives people the right to just speak their mind without care of hurting feelings?  Is this person hurting my feelings cause she just can't stand my face? I dunno but this is not a person that I'll ever be able to avoid.  Deep breaths, prayers & positive thoughts on that day but I just know she will embarrass me again.  Got the food situation covered, I'm making some chicken salad with fat-free mayo, eggs & pickle juice to take, wonder if anyone will have some with me because I'm going to make enough to share.  I am happy today but I've got to the bottom of my blue mood yesterday, anxiety about being cornered about my weight again by someone I can't ignore. 

Have a blessed day.  I'm blessed, thankful & happy & will be in prayer about this situation.

Ironic, last blog about positivity this blog about blah.  Typing this as a reminder to myself that this is going to be a long, life-time journey.  This up positive gal had a really blah day today & I sure can't figure out why...do I miss comfort eating at night to soothe my nerves? I think I was just bored & not hungry during those times.  I haven't been hungry since my surgery so that's a huge plus.  I know eventually ravenous hunger will return but I know what healthy food is now so I'm feeling I can combat the beast, not kill it but keep it at bay with better choices.

Lord, I'm ashamed for not relishing in happiness, I've had the surgery finally after 2 years of trying & much prayer, I've lost a little over 20 pounds in just 10 short days & that's simply a miracle.  I guess the truth be told I'm longing for the healthy better looking me to get out of this fat flabby body, all I see when I look in the mirror are my fat arms; why am I not focusing on my fat neck shrinking?  Ugh ashamed of myself for having this down day & these sad, vain, self-loathing feelings.  It took me two years of various health problems to get as fat as I was before surgery so I've got to get a grip & understand that losing all this lard is gonna take some time too; not to wish my life away but I wish I could fast forward to the new me that's clawing at my insides trying to get out of this fat body.

Nope I'm not currently seeing a therapist; but kinda thinking I might give it a try again & see who/what my Doc & bariatric center recommends.  Thankful that they are THERE for me.  "Don't let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life." -I have a great life now, my life is blessed, precious & finally not as stressful as it once was & I've finally had this life-saving surgery so I gotta get a grip.

Note to self: