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I'm back! Thanks to every special person that replied to my blogs & sent me emails & well wishes.  I did good at the hospital & the only pain that still I have is heartburn/gassy/bubbly feeling on my left side.  The nurse told me to take infant simethicone drops for the gassy feeling, and so many people on here have said walk walk walk-that's true it helps work the discomfort out +also try to sit up in a chair.

My mind also had to adjust to the fact that my stomach is smaller, I drank about 6ounces of crystal light fruit punch & threw it right back up.  After surgery the stomach is just 3ounces in size & will eventually be 5-9ounces for life.  Called Dr. Mathews & he said just to sip on water only. 

And out of all the other unwanted surgeries that I've ever had in my life I was on time for; Even though I set two alarms & my hubby set 1; we didn't wake up & got to hospital an hour later than I was supposed to be there.  I was so afraid they would re-schedule my surgery & am so thankful they didn't.  I was so stressed out just getting there but I was rushed right on back for surgery because the Doc was already there waiting on me. I did call to tell the surgery center that we overslept so I imagine that's why they held my place.

All I asked for when I got out of recovery was to see my family.  They are what matters most in my life.

Here is a picture of my tummy today after the sleeve surgery, showers only & just rinse incision areas; & then I return to see the Dr. on 3/19. Stomach is really bloated too.

Yeah, I know I'm a newbie but I love to blog about this journey.  I'll be leaving my house for hospital at 5a.m. for surgery at 7.  You would think I would be much more of a techno lady because of all the blogs I've been typing lately but I don't own & iphone, ipod, ipad, netbook-nadda I even use a pay as you go cell phone.  I'll be back home on Saturday unless there are complications which I am just positive aren't going to happen & if I'm not too doped up loopy I'll fill you in on my hospital experience.  See you on the other side & be blessed.  I can't express my thanks enough to the kind few that have wished me well, you know who you are & y'all have already blessed my life in such a special way.  Back soon lovies.

see you on the other side of the mountains

Well my house is pretty spotless; hopefully my hubby will keep it that way while I'm in hospital.  He can't stay over-night with me because he will have to come back home to see about & care for our dogs.  Love him but I'm guessing he would just watch tv & I'm gonna want to rest I'm sure; My Ma has offered to stay with me & my daughter too but I keep telling them I'll be fine; all of them are already going to be there all day tomorrow with me anyway. 

So what to pack: Nutritionist said not much & as y'all know I'll get toiletries there but I'm bringing my own small body wash, deodorant, my own wash-rag - I always do that, even though everything at hospital is clean I want to wash with my own stuff! my own toothbrush, some chap stick, a nightgown, two house-coats, 1 thin 1 warm, & some slippers + of course the comfy clothes I come in I will wear home too because I won't have em on long enough in the morning before I have to put on the dreaded backless standard issue sexy hospital gown.  I'm Proud of myself because I was able to fold, roll & fit all of the above into a small/medium sized tote bag; & it's not anything heavy- similar to a normal size big purse.  I Did this so my people wouldn't have to lug around a huge bag of un-necessary stuff + I've over packed for a hospital stay before & learned my lesson.

So many folks have called me today to wish me well, & I want to thank those of you on here again that have sent me emails or blog or post replies.  I'm thankful to have met you ALL & look forward to us keeping track with this journey & staying in touch.  Thanks to all my well wishers & kind word givers.  God Bless

I haven't allowed anyone to take my picture in over 2 years...I just put on some black work-out clothes with the tightest fitting most stomach revealing tank top that I own & let my daughter take my before pics/ YEAH..SO NO I'm not posting them because I'm waiting for the AFTER girl.  My daughter seemed sad for me because the pictures are bad, but I told her "it's alright honey those are the last pictures that I'm ever going to look like that in."  I'm saying goodbye to my fat self & I'm not gonna miss her AT ALL, I've grown to despise her, not her heart but her appearance.  Another person I know that had surgery a year ago also took before pictures & keeps them posted on her make-up mirror as a reminder to never go there/get like that again.  Mine will be on my fridge & make-up table.

That was depressing, taking & looking at those pictures; but as of tomorrow that girl is gonna be gone because there is a healthy girl inside me that can't wait to be set free.

Surgery/re-birth/second chance at life is TOMORROW! I was awake until 3a.m. because I was just too darn excited to sleep.  Having to leave the house at 5a.m. tomorrow I imagine I won't sleep a wink tonight.  Clear liquids was fairly easy yesterday, drank about 4 bottles of water flavored with clear type crystal light mixes, & my chicken flavored protein came yesterday so I had that twice.  Oh yeah I'm allowed decaf coffee so that's what I'm sipping now.

Today's plans: clean the ceiling fan in the kitchen, go through some wicker storage boxes & clean them out, I've already done a complete overhaul over the past 3 months inside our house, de-cluttering, reorganizing, donations to the foundry-which is a goodwill type place where I live...New Year New Me & if there was something in my house I didn't love anymore it got donated.  Supposed to rain today & I want to clean out the inside of my car too but I can do that inside the basement.  Rambling plans & blog I know but to stave off hunger & my excitement I've got to keep my mind & hands busy.  The unjury chicken protein powder is very filling/satisfying so I'm thankful for that.  I'M SO EXCITED & I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT!

Two days til surgery! Clear liquids today & tomorrow & then tomorrow afternoon magnesium citrate x_O ; )- but I gotta do it.  As my new better eating self started to feel better I've been up doing more & have grown tired of watching tv; though there is a Jaws marathon on AMC that I'm recording...today I've done the usual things; get my daughter off to school, take care of my pets, amuse my husband until he had to go to work but I've also been doing some spring cleaning, cleaning windows, ceiling fans later; stuff I hate to do usually but it's keeping my mind & hands busy.  So far I've had two bottles of water with clear crystal lite-strawberry kiwi but the Wal-mart version/brand.  & the Good Lord knew if I get hungry later that I would need the unjury that I ordered last week.  How about that, the chicken flavored powder along with my sample pack came today of all days when I have to be on liquids so that's definitely a blessing.

A reply on one of my posts said though I love the unjury now my taste for it after surgery might change so that's why I just ordered the large container of chicken & just samples of the rest.  There is just so much you can do with the chicken flavored powder, my surgery booklet also includes several recipes.  Another kind person in a post even schooled me about chike nutrition & how they have a banana-my favorite-protein powder so I've definitely got to order some from there too. Chikenutrition.com  I'm COMMITTED to this through my positive attitude, future decisions & better actions.

Thank the LORD this order came today! Gonna have pretend chicken soup later

I've struggled with my weight my entire life, I was the chubby kid that was always picked last for kick ball, I was the girl in High School that fellas made fun of and then when I got skinny after yet another starvation bout wanted to date me; naw.  One of my goals is to love myself because I don't think I ever have; meaning the few brief times when I had my weight under starvation/ephedrine control I sometimes felt that I looked nice but still felt so low that I dated a bunch of jerks & even got into an abusive relationship once long ago...

Self love is so hard, some see it as vanity; Lord I'm not vain I just want to be happy about how I feel about the way I look-not for the masses but for myself.  I am happy about life meaning for the first time in my life I'm not in a bad relationship-I've made peace with that, I've got a loving husband, a beautiful daughter, loving family, cute little critters that look to me for care & love, I'm not rich but I'm blessed, I take care of what I have but somewhere along the line I forgot/neglected to take care of myself.  This blog post is for others like me out there, or just simply for my own amusement of typing that I AM WORTH IT!  I'm loved by some pretty special people, the numbers on the scale after surgery are gonna come down but I've got to put in the work too.  I just want to be mindful of no matter how slow or fast the loss is that I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE!  And folks if you aren't a happy fat/big/obese/large -person-however you want to put it, when you get skinny you aren't ever going to be satisfied unless you find that happiness within yourself no matter how big or small you are; the size of the heart counts quite a bit.

Earlier today I replied to an off-the-wall post about diamond sizes...the post caught my attention because I want to be able to wear my wedding rings again.  I don't know the size of my diamonds nor do I care because my ring was a gift of love; just remembering how sweet & nervous my hubby was when he proposed brings back cherished memories every time I look at it.  10+ years ago he proposed on Halloween night- cause I really enjoy Halloween & we married a few days before Christmas because I LOVE Christmas. 

Anyway I'm blogging because in one of my earlier blogs I mentioned one of my goals was to be able to wear my wedding ring again, right now I'm wearing a fake & have never had my rings sized because my weight has been up and down my whole life...but I haven't been able to wear my real rings for over two years now.  So I live for the day they will fit again.  Diamonds aren't my best friend my husband is, my mom is, my daughter is, my dogs are etc. I really like my rings but I'm really gonna like being able to just wear them again more.

my hand today with the fake that I've been wearing & the real deal that I'm striving to wear again, aye aye aye my fingers look like sausages!

couple of my furry friends both rescued strays!

Yep, I've got a binder full of info. for before/after/during/home/what to expect for the rest of my new life after surgery.  Information for my family...just a book of instructions & helpful information.  Obesity.com is even listed in the binder as a inspirational/informative go to site.  I've been reading posts about people who have had surgery then never get to see their Dr. again because they had to travel for the surgery or they've moved, I'd be so lost without this book.  I also learned that I will be seeing my Dr. for life; he wants to keep up with his patients from the point he does surgery then forever to make sure we reach goal & stay on track.  Also the bariatric center has weekly/monthly support groups.  I love my Doc Dr. John Mathews & trust him completely & all the ladies at the bariatric center have been awesome too, some of them have even had surgery before and been at goal for years.  If you read my blogs their website is http://princetonbariatrics.com they have a lot of helpful info on their site as well. I'm just thankful to have an instruction manual for my re-birth/new life.  Doctor Mathews website is http://bariatricsurgerybirmingham.com/

My Journey information binder for before & after surgery

On pre-surgical diet still on cloud 10 about my VSG surgery, it's in 5 days! YES! anyway I was hungry or bored not sure which I've been on & off line today & working on getting my house cleaned up real good for next week.  I drank an Atkins cafe caramel shake...yum, it was already cold but I put it in the blender with some ice & pretended that I had a frozen coffee drink and I'm thankfully not hungry anymore.