gonnadoit
100 Miracles on Mondays 4th Installment
Apr 21, 2008
1 - I can sit on a folding chair without even thinking about whether or not it can hold me!
2 - My brother and husband are both concerned about me passing their weights on my way down =}
3 - I can shovel a ton of dirt and not have to make excuses to quit.
4 - I look taller now that I'm thinner.
5 - I no longer feel like everyone is staring at me because of my weight.
6 - I wake up much happier and don't get so upset about going out in public.
7 - I can't wait to do water activities with my kids!
8 - I'm not hot and sweaty all the time.
9 - I don't feel like a stuffed cabbage inside the tanning bed =}
10 - I don't try to hide behind other people when getting my picture taken.
2 - My brother and husband are both concerned about me passing their weights on my way down =}
3 - I can shovel a ton of dirt and not have to make excuses to quit.
4 - I look taller now that I'm thinner.
5 - I no longer feel like everyone is staring at me because of my weight.
6 - I wake up much happier and don't get so upset about going out in public.
7 - I can't wait to do water activities with my kids!
8 - I'm not hot and sweaty all the time.
9 - I don't feel like a stuffed cabbage inside the tanning bed =}
10 - I don't try to hide behind other people when getting my picture taken.
Anniversary party aftermath
Apr 21, 2008
My parent's celebrated their 50th anniversary this weekend. I ended up going out for dinner on Saturday and then to the party on Sunday. I did OK on Saturday - except for taking calcium and protein. At dinner, I had roast beef with mashed potatoes & gravy and some salad. I had very little, but still ate a tad too much. I felt a little uncomfortable while at the table. I still have a hard time with wanting more than I can eat... like wanting to eat an entire salad!
On Sunday, there was a catered buffet and then family brought extras - munchies and dessert. I snacked on some cheese and nuts. For the meal, I had a couple bites of chicken and roast beef and potatoes - all with gravy for easier eating, a little salad and fruit. I did have 3 bites of dessert, too. I didn't feel like I was missing out and walked away comfortable. I continued to much on grapes, veggies and cheese after the party... and ended up continuing my snack fest once I got home. Then I paid for it when I drank milk just a little too fast.
What did I learn? I can go to family functions and not feel like an outcast. Infact, no one really said much about the amount I was eating (maybe because they saw me snacking! I did get asked about the bite of cake I had. I didn't really care for the cake frosting, so it doesn't bug me that we now have some of that cake at my house. I also learned that not getting in my protein causes me to snack throughout the evening. I just never felt satisfied.
I also learned that I secretly want my family to pay attention and comment on my weight loss. A few did, but not as many as I expected.
On Sunday, there was a catered buffet and then family brought extras - munchies and dessert. I snacked on some cheese and nuts. For the meal, I had a couple bites of chicken and roast beef and potatoes - all with gravy for easier eating, a little salad and fruit. I did have 3 bites of dessert, too. I didn't feel like I was missing out and walked away comfortable. I continued to much on grapes, veggies and cheese after the party... and ended up continuing my snack fest once I got home. Then I paid for it when I drank milk just a little too fast.
What did I learn? I can go to family functions and not feel like an outcast. Infact, no one really said much about the amount I was eating (maybe because they saw me snacking! I did get asked about the bite of cake I had. I didn't really care for the cake frosting, so it doesn't bug me that we now have some of that cake at my house. I also learned that not getting in my protein causes me to snack throughout the evening. I just never felt satisfied.
I also learned that I secretly want my family to pay attention and comment on my weight loss. A few did, but not as many as I expected.
3rd Scope (Yesterday)
Apr 17, 2008
I went to Hurley for my 3rd scope by Dr. Al-Midani. I honestly thought that would be the last one. Unfortunately, I has some 'closure' and will need another follow-up. My next one will be approximately 4 months from now.
This time, they had to give me a little more 'happy juice'. My DH and kids were in the scope room after the doc finished. Apparently, I was acting a bit 'high'... waving to everyone, interrupting all the time with stupid questions, etc. I have no recollection of anyone being in the scope room and only recall being out in recovery. My youngest child was a little annoyed with my behavior... he he.
On the way home, we stopped at Cracker Barrel. I got a steak with mashed taters and gravy and then some awful looking broccoli dish. I was able to eat that OK. Later in the evening, I tried to eat a 1/4 of a plum and a little yogurt. That got 'returned'. Same with the crackers and milk. I was trying to eat something to settle my tummy, but it backfired!
Today, my throat is really sore from the scope, and my stomach is still upset. I did have cereal, so I think I'll be OK to try some saltines or tums.
Until next time...
Kris
This time, they had to give me a little more 'happy juice'. My DH and kids were in the scope room after the doc finished. Apparently, I was acting a bit 'high'... waving to everyone, interrupting all the time with stupid questions, etc. I have no recollection of anyone being in the scope room and only recall being out in recovery. My youngest child was a little annoyed with my behavior... he he.
On the way home, we stopped at Cracker Barrel. I got a steak with mashed taters and gravy and then some awful looking broccoli dish. I was able to eat that OK. Later in the evening, I tried to eat a 1/4 of a plum and a little yogurt. That got 'returned'. Same with the crackers and milk. I was trying to eat something to settle my tummy, but it backfired!
Today, my throat is really sore from the scope, and my stomach is still upset. I did have cereal, so I think I'll be OK to try some saltines or tums.
Until next time...
Kris
100 Miracles on Monday - 3rd Installment
Apr 13, 2008
1 - I'm at my post-first-birth weight! (Now to get to my pre-marriage weight!)
2 - I was able to pull out some dressy boots and wear them comfortably - even went shopping with them. A big wow!
3 - My size 22 dress pants are getting too big for me, and I can wear size 18/20 shirts (some of them).
4 - People are really noticing my loss now. I've had several 'skinny' comments.
5 - I've lost what little of a butt I had. Who knew the church pews were so uncomfortable!
6 - (Same as Pam) I now am comfortable using ANY stall in the bathroom and don't head straight for the handicap stall.
7 - I can move in the arm rests on my work chair.
8 - I need to move my car seat ahead a bit.
9 - I continue to eat small portions. And still shock people by how little it takes to make me feel full.
10 - It is easier for the chiropractor to work on my back. He's had me use the 'drop bed' several times. Before I was too big for it to be effective. (And the doc could barely reach around me.)
2 - I was able to pull out some dressy boots and wear them comfortably - even went shopping with them. A big wow!
3 - My size 22 dress pants are getting too big for me, and I can wear size 18/20 shirts (some of them).
4 - People are really noticing my loss now. I've had several 'skinny' comments.
5 - I've lost what little of a butt I had. Who knew the church pews were so uncomfortable!
6 - (Same as Pam) I now am comfortable using ANY stall in the bathroom and don't head straight for the handicap stall.
7 - I can move in the arm rests on my work chair.
8 - I need to move my car seat ahead a bit.
9 - I continue to eat small portions. And still shock people by how little it takes to make me feel full.
10 - It is easier for the chiropractor to work on my back. He's had me use the 'drop bed' several times. Before I was too big for it to be effective. (And the doc could barely reach around me.)
100 Miracles on Monday (2nd installment) - A tad early...
Apr 06, 2008
The next 10 miracles:
1 - My CPAP number went from an 11 to a 7. The sleep tech suggested that I continue to work on getting up to 8 hours of sleep a night, always wear the CPAP... and he suggested that I continue to use it until I reach my goal (with adjustments if necessary). This is sort of a repeat from last week, but I felt it was necessary to add it... cuz it is amazing that I'm going to start wearing it again for the health of it!
2 - I can take baths again and feel (mostly) comfortable!!! I took one tonight, and I could even put my arms between me and the side of the tub.
3 - My husband AND kids can put their hands together (behind my back) when hugging me. (And DH can't stop hugging me!)
4 - I can easily slip on/off my wedding ring. And the indentation in my finger is almost smoothed out! (On the down side, I can't wear my other rings.)
5 - I smile a lot more.
6 - I walked up 3 flights of stairs without having to stop! (Man, the CPAP guy was in good shape and could truck right up them. I was a bit out of breath, but I was still able to hold a conversation.)
7 - I am going to join my family in a 5k run/walk (in May, I believe).
8 - It's amazing that I'm still taking my vitamins, calcium and protein. (Although I have to admit that it is difficult on busy days and warm weekends.)
9 - I have started doing things that I would normally ask my husband to do for me... like loading up leaves and chunks of cement and moving heavy pavers... and boy do I feel the pain now. But that's a good thing!
10 - I went to Logans steakhouse for lunch last week, and I put my food in a to-go box right away and only kept out what I could eat. Even then, I had left myself too much and threw some away. And I didn't even have a bite of their delicious rolls.
I go to the therapist later this week - with my husband. I'm nervous about it. I don't want it to cause us problems, yet, I need to fix the root of my eating issues (addiction). On the flip side, I'm wanting to go to discuss my recent mood swings. I've been working on smiling and being proud of myself. It is helping, but then I swing to the other side and get really down and moody. Today was a perfect example. I was feeling really good about myself until I was done taking my bath. I forced myself to take a hard look at myself in the mirror. I cried... and then was grouchy (mostly with DH). I was mad and sad that I look this way and that I let my weight get so out of control. Right now, I'm somewhere in the middle between those 2 sets of emotions.
A difficult thing to write about, but here it goes. I'm nervous about my personality changing. When I got my CPAP titration testing done last night, I had a really good time talking to the sleep tech. He's 38, cute, fit and seemed to want to talk to me. He was very encouraging, and I felt a true sense of caring. I think we hit it off. The problem you ask... I have been thinking about him all day today. Is that normal? I guess it would be since I'm not used to being comfortable (versus completely embarrassed) around a cute guy. Are my hormones just getting out of whack or what? Now, I'm not saying I would ruin my marriage or anything like that... but it got me to thinking... What will I be like if I get down to my goal weight? Will I be flirty? Will I still be satisfied in my marriage? All good questions for me to ask my therapist! And a good question for experience post-op OHers!
1 - My CPAP number went from an 11 to a 7. The sleep tech suggested that I continue to work on getting up to 8 hours of sleep a night, always wear the CPAP... and he suggested that I continue to use it until I reach my goal (with adjustments if necessary). This is sort of a repeat from last week, but I felt it was necessary to add it... cuz it is amazing that I'm going to start wearing it again for the health of it!
2 - I can take baths again and feel (mostly) comfortable!!! I took one tonight, and I could even put my arms between me and the side of the tub.
3 - My husband AND kids can put their hands together (behind my back) when hugging me. (And DH can't stop hugging me!)
4 - I can easily slip on/off my wedding ring. And the indentation in my finger is almost smoothed out! (On the down side, I can't wear my other rings.)
5 - I smile a lot more.
6 - I walked up 3 flights of stairs without having to stop! (Man, the CPAP guy was in good shape and could truck right up them. I was a bit out of breath, but I was still able to hold a conversation.)
7 - I am going to join my family in a 5k run/walk (in May, I believe).
8 - It's amazing that I'm still taking my vitamins, calcium and protein. (Although I have to admit that it is difficult on busy days and warm weekends.)
9 - I have started doing things that I would normally ask my husband to do for me... like loading up leaves and chunks of cement and moving heavy pavers... and boy do I feel the pain now. But that's a good thing!
10 - I went to Logans steakhouse for lunch last week, and I put my food in a to-go box right away and only kept out what I could eat. Even then, I had left myself too much and threw some away. And I didn't even have a bite of their delicious rolls.
I go to the therapist later this week - with my husband. I'm nervous about it. I don't want it to cause us problems, yet, I need to fix the root of my eating issues (addiction). On the flip side, I'm wanting to go to discuss my recent mood swings. I've been working on smiling and being proud of myself. It is helping, but then I swing to the other side and get really down and moody. Today was a perfect example. I was feeling really good about myself until I was done taking my bath. I forced myself to take a hard look at myself in the mirror. I cried... and then was grouchy (mostly with DH). I was mad and sad that I look this way and that I let my weight get so out of control. Right now, I'm somewhere in the middle between those 2 sets of emotions.
A difficult thing to write about, but here it goes. I'm nervous about my personality changing. When I got my CPAP titration testing done last night, I had a really good time talking to the sleep tech. He's 38, cute, fit and seemed to want to talk to me. He was very encouraging, and I felt a true sense of caring. I think we hit it off. The problem you ask... I have been thinking about him all day today. Is that normal? I guess it would be since I'm not used to being comfortable (versus completely embarrassed) around a cute guy. Are my hormones just getting out of whack or what? Now, I'm not saying I would ruin my marriage or anything like that... but it got me to thinking... What will I be like if I get down to my goal weight? Will I be flirty? Will I still be satisfied in my marriage? All good questions for me to ask my therapist! And a good question for experience post-op OHers!
I'm in a good mood today!
Apr 01, 2008
Yesterday, I worked late and then treated myself to a couple new shirts and a tanning session... went home and had a roll up of roast beef and cheese... exercised and watched TV. I was feeling good! And I'm still feeling good today! (That's a good thing considering I stopped taking lexapro about a week ago and also stopped my bp meds.)
I was so happy to eat real food! I tried again today... I went to Logan's with a friend, and I ordered a 6 oz sirloin, baked potato and broccoli. I got a take-away carton right away and only left what I could stomach on my plate. Boy was that steak good!!! I had probably 2 ounces of steak, a few bites of broccoli and potato mixed.
Then I did something stupid... When I ran errands, the smell of the leftovers was calling out to me. I caved and had 2 small bite of steak and broccoli... then ended up throwing up in a parking lot. What was I thinking! I know leftovers never work out for me. You would think that I'd eventually learn my lesson... maybe some day!
After all that, I went to the doctor. My BP was good 123/77, and I weighed in at 259. Woo hoo!!! I finally broke past the 260 barrier!
Now, I'm back at work and back to the stress that is my life. Still smiling though =)
I was so happy to eat real food! I tried again today... I went to Logan's with a friend, and I ordered a 6 oz sirloin, baked potato and broccoli. I got a take-away carton right away and only left what I could stomach on my plate. Boy was that steak good!!! I had probably 2 ounces of steak, a few bites of broccoli and potato mixed.
Then I did something stupid... When I ran errands, the smell of the leftovers was calling out to me. I caved and had 2 small bite of steak and broccoli... then ended up throwing up in a parking lot. What was I thinking! I know leftovers never work out for me. You would think that I'd eventually learn my lesson... maybe some day!
After all that, I went to the doctor. My BP was good 123/77, and I weighed in at 259. Woo hoo!!! I finally broke past the 260 barrier!
Now, I'm back at work and back to the stress that is my life. Still smiling though =)
100 Miracles (My version of 100 Ways Wednesdays)
Mar 31, 2008
I read Pam's Journey and decided to follow her lead. Here's my first installment of 10 things that have changed for me:
1- I, too, can cross my legs and love it!
2- I don't feel so bloated (and stuffed into my clothes).
3- I don't think about food all day long (or stuff my face).
4- I stopped using my CPAP (and will get an official check on Sat).
5- I'm running out of clothes! Pants are now 22 and shirts 18/20!
6- I've stopped jumping on my scale multiple times a day and am happy know that I'm headed in the right direction (and feeling better).
7- My cholesterol is good, and I haven't had chol med since surgery.
8- I can walk 1/2 hour on my treadmill. Woo Hoo!!!
9- I've inspired my family to (try) eating better and smaller portions.
10- I'm not uncomfortable in my work chair anymore. Yeah!
1- I, too, can cross my legs and love it!
2- I don't feel so bloated (and stuffed into my clothes).
3- I don't think about food all day long (or stuff my face).
4- I stopped using my CPAP (and will get an official check on Sat).
5- I'm running out of clothes! Pants are now 22 and shirts 18/20!
6- I've stopped jumping on my scale multiple times a day and am happy know that I'm headed in the right direction (and feeling better).
7- My cholesterol is good, and I haven't had chol med since surgery.
8- I can walk 1/2 hour on my treadmill. Woo Hoo!!!
9- I've inspired my family to (try) eating better and smaller portions.
10- I'm not uncomfortable in my work chair anymore. Yeah!
Down and out
Mar 30, 2008
I'm feeling a bit down and out today. Yesterday was so nice and sunny, and I was finally able to spend some time outside. Today is a bit colder and darker, and I just want to crawl into bed. Unfortunately, I have work to do. I'm trying to make up for the 2 days I was out of work and in the hospital with my Dad. He had his 6th heart surgery, and the prognosis isn't very bright. He keeps having issues in this one area, and the doc said it's only a matter of time before he has major issues. So, that is weighing a bit heavy on my mind. That's one more reason I'm glad I'm taking the steps to a healthier me... dang sticky lipids and small veins run through my Dad's side of the family. My Mom also had surgery. She had a bladder 'pacemaker' installed. Oh the things I have to look forward to!
On the lighter side, I bought a size 18/20 top (from Wal-Mart) yesterday, and it fits. Woo hoo! Eventhough the scale and been stuck, I can at least feel like I'm still moving in the right direction.
I got a letter from the GI doc. I'm scheduled for my 3rd scope (and possible dilation) on April 16th. I'm so sick of liquid/soft foods! In some way, I think the soft food diet I'm on is contributing to my plateau. I also think my medication may play a role in it, too. So... I've stopped taking my (beginner does) lexapro. And to push it a bit further, I've stopped taking my lopressor. My heart rate has been in the 50s, lower than the 60-80 it should be. My BP still runs high late in the date (probably from work stress), so I need to schedule an appointment with my PCP to discuss other options.
My scale is reading 260 today. Darn thing must be broke =}
On the lighter side, I bought a size 18/20 top (from Wal-Mart) yesterday, and it fits. Woo hoo! Eventhough the scale and been stuck, I can at least feel like I'm still moving in the right direction.
I got a letter from the GI doc. I'm scheduled for my 3rd scope (and possible dilation) on April 16th. I'm so sick of liquid/soft foods! In some way, I think the soft food diet I'm on is contributing to my plateau. I also think my medication may play a role in it, too. So... I've stopped taking my (beginner does) lexapro. And to push it a bit further, I've stopped taking my lopressor. My heart rate has been in the 50s, lower than the 60-80 it should be. My BP still runs high late in the date (probably from work stress), so I need to schedule an appointment with my PCP to discuss other options.
My scale is reading 260 today. Darn thing must be broke =}
3 month check up
Mar 18, 2008
I weighed in at 262.7 (a little less than the 265 I was expecting). The dietician wants me to fall back on my eating plan and do the full liquid diet for a while. She also wants me to up my calcium and protein... all due to my having 2 dilations. She's also concerned about me not taking the carafate and lectured me on the consequences of not taking it. Basically, it is a bandaid to cover inflammation and ulceration while my body heals. If I keep eating irritating foods, it won't heal, and the ulceration could bleed. The nurse was very upbeat and told me I was right on target with my weight loss. I go back in 3 months.
Just an update (tomorrow will be 3 months)
Mar 17, 2008
What can I say? This has been a journey. I've gone through a range of emotions (and clothes sizes =). My family and friends have been extremely supportive, which I appreciate immensely.
What have I learned? I have learned that I still have food and body image issues, although there has been great improvement since surgery. I have learned that it is difficult to get the whole family on board when it comes to changing eating habits. We still buy minimal amounts of junk food, which I am pretty good at avoiding... especially because I don't want to dump. We still need to up the amount of whole grains and veggies... the kids make this difficult when they refuse to eat new foods. I have also learned that I can follow a semi-schedule most days, which is easier when I'm at work. And I can get exercising again!
What have I lost? I'll get my official Hurley weigh-in tomorrow, but unofficially, I've lost about 55 pounds. I wish it was more. I feel like I'm not loosing as quickly as I should. I wonder if I'm not getting in enough calories and my body doesn't want to let the fat go... which I might know if I was better about journaling. (I don't journal my food at all.)
What do I eat? Cereal for breakfast... yogurt, beans or crackers and cheese for lunch... All Bran crackers for a snack or something similar... my protein and vitamins... meat and a small side for dinner (or cereal again). I've been throwing up a couple of times since my second dilation, but I'm still trying to push myself into trying new/denser foods. I've started eating a small salad, but that doesn't always stay done.
How do I feel? Better. However, I think my mind is seeing me smaller than reality, and reality hits me hard sometimes. I was shopping over the weekend and sat down in the fitting room. I looked in the mirror and was completely disgusted by what I saw! Yet when I look at the mirror at home (while standing), I often think that I'm really on my way to a healthy body and that I don't look too bad. I know I need to be patient and not compare myself with other RNYers, but it's difficult not to think I'm falling behind.
Current weight: 265
What have I learned? I have learned that I still have food and body image issues, although there has been great improvement since surgery. I have learned that it is difficult to get the whole family on board when it comes to changing eating habits. We still buy minimal amounts of junk food, which I am pretty good at avoiding... especially because I don't want to dump. We still need to up the amount of whole grains and veggies... the kids make this difficult when they refuse to eat new foods. I have also learned that I can follow a semi-schedule most days, which is easier when I'm at work. And I can get exercising again!
What have I lost? I'll get my official Hurley weigh-in tomorrow, but unofficially, I've lost about 55 pounds. I wish it was more. I feel like I'm not loosing as quickly as I should. I wonder if I'm not getting in enough calories and my body doesn't want to let the fat go... which I might know if I was better about journaling. (I don't journal my food at all.)
What do I eat? Cereal for breakfast... yogurt, beans or crackers and cheese for lunch... All Bran crackers for a snack or something similar... my protein and vitamins... meat and a small side for dinner (or cereal again). I've been throwing up a couple of times since my second dilation, but I'm still trying to push myself into trying new/denser foods. I've started eating a small salad, but that doesn't always stay done.
How do I feel? Better. However, I think my mind is seeing me smaller than reality, and reality hits me hard sometimes. I was shopping over the weekend and sat down in the fitting room. I looked in the mirror and was completely disgusted by what I saw! Yet when I look at the mirror at home (while standing), I often think that I'm really on my way to a healthy body and that I don't look too bad. I know I need to be patient and not compare myself with other RNYers, but it's difficult not to think I'm falling behind.
Current weight: 265
About Me
MI
Location
31.6
BMI
Surgery
12/18/2007
Surgery Date
Nov 15, 2007
Member Since
