nynativecagirl

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so the wedding has come and gone, pretty quick. I managed to fit into the dress thank God for losing 10 lbs since I ordered the dress, cause the swelling would have done me in. but I got a bra bustier and a panty girdle thingy and I was totally uncomfortable but I dealt with it :) enjoyed myself and was so grateful I looked decent in the pictures. here is one, i will post the rest to my albums.




























today i was supposed to go back to work but I didn't have the energy to do it, i had to go to dr. to get a cortisone shot for my hip pain, then they decided to give me a tetanus shot, so now my right hip and my left arm are hurting UGH! and i'm also still having surgery pain, I know it takes time but since I have to go back to work I need this ache to be gone. I had to squeeze into my jeans today and it was so uncomfortable. i guess i will need to deal with it while I commute to work and then pop the jeans open while I'm sitting at desk. so now that is hurting me more cause I was squished :)~  == watching tv now just trying to relax and get it together, try to feel better. I didn't eat today until til almost 1:00 pm I think that didn't help my feeling yucky. got to take better care of myself, my blood work came back bad still and not eating properly isn't going to help that. anyway home stresses are not helping either. there's just alot of snowballing going on and it's taking me with it. ugh! too much stress isn't good for recovery, praying for some relief very soon. :)

Yesterday was my Wednesday weighin, I was down to 167 which is 95 lbs.down pre/post op. today I weighed down another lb. to 166. wow I'll take it, the scale has decided to start moving again. I guess my gb surgery jumpshot my system, don't know why or what but I'll take it. I am now 4 lbs from -100 and 21 lbs. from my goal! 2 days to the wedding. tried on my bmaid dress today and it fit and I am so relieved I was worried the gb surgery swelling would be a problem but nope all is good. all I need to do is my hair on Saturday and I'm done. still not feeling 100% went to Kohls today and to the mall real quick searching for the strapless I needed and I got back home so tired I couldn't stand it, and hurting too. tomorrow nothing I'm staying put and resting otherwise Saturday I will not be able to handle the long day/night. I am watching tv right now and I am so tired, can't stand it. anyway, tomorrow is Friday, then weekend and back to work on Monday. UGH!! I'll be back here on Sunday to post about my wedding experience :)

So yesterday was my 10 mos. surgiversary.NO PIC this month, swollen from gb surgery. total for pre and post op is -94 lbs. post op is 60 lbs. still going slow but this last month I lost 5 lbs. but it took 3 months to lose 10 lbs. boy that just is going so slow. So I had my gallbladder yanked out on Wednesday 5/20. that morning I weighed myself and I was 168 WOOHOO, I weighed again the next day, day after surgery and of course I was up to 171 +3 lbs. but I knew that could happen because of the iv fluids. so I wasn't concerned. Yesterday I weighed again and it was gone, I was back to 168 I am so happy that is the firm number for now.  That's what I'm keeping! so my pain level is way better together, actually got to cough today! if you've ever had abdominal surgery you know exactly what I mean, you don't cough for days LOL you just kind of sorta try to but can't so you choke LOL but today pain practically gone so I was able to cough for real aahh relief. so I got 4 new holes around where the wls scars are, so now 10 scars, man! they are from middle of belly running to right side. one big one right in the middle in the top which is bruised pretty ugly and painful but way better today on day 4 post op. so gloomy weather Sunday, quiet house. ttyl

so it's a good day, bad day. I am finally going to get rid of this pain , albeit will have another pain for a few days , today I am having my gallbladder removed, I am feeling scared and nervous . I realized last night this was the first time I was having non-elective surgery since I was 15 years old when I had my tonsils removed first time I have a surgery cause something is wrong so it's a little nerve wracking. I had to get up before 5:00 am to eat something, since my surgery is at 1:45pm I was allowed to eat this a.m. because it still gives me 9 hrs before surgery for anesthesia purposes. But since I digest so quickly and don't eat a whole lot anyway it will be way gone before I hit the hospital :) so this is my last post for probably a couple of days depending on how I feel. I will be home tonight. yep in and out, it's like drive through surgery. doesn't seem safe at all but hospitals don't want the cost of overnight stays.

So I had my pre-op on Friday, dr. talked to me, explained what was happening with my gallbladder. no explanation as to why my gallbladder went downhill so quickly. 1 year ago my gb was ejecting bile at 65% which is normal, now it's ejecting at %14. not good. pretty much not doing anything but swelling and causing me pain. so out it comes. surgery is Wednesday at 2:00 pm. I have to check in at noon and if all goes well I should be home around 7pm or so.  she's gonna do some other type of test while she's in there, she's gonna check the ducts that will remain after she removes my gb to make sure there are no grains hiding in the ducts that could continue to cause me pain even after the gb is out.  I will be off work until June 1, so I'll only miss 7 days work since the 25th is a holiday. i was going to take the 29th off anyway cause it's the day before the wedding and I need to go take care of my beautification or at least try. i still need that strapless bra and I'm stressing about it.  the kids are oblivious about the surgery, I guess when you don't spend the night it doesn't seem major. melina wanted to take me at 6 (when we thought surgery was early) and leave me there and go to dentist and run errands. that really hurt my feelings cause I don't want to be in surgery and not have someone there, especially when I wake up. now I have to be there at 12, so no clue if anyone has time to take me. and pick me up. joel asked me if I wanted him here for surgery but I told him no cause he needs to get himself together over there. melina has been in her own world with her friends and now new bf and is never home. so josh is pretty much alone here now and he's bored and lonely I hope it doesn't lead to him having problems again. anyway i'll be home for a few days after the surgery.
so i'll check in probably thursday, the day after surgery! see ya!

So the gallbladder has got to go. Finally answers to my pain, I just say get it out. sucks that another surgery within 10 mos. but I can't stay like this.
Dr. emailed me today and  told me normal gb function is 35-75%, mine is at 14%. last year when I had the HIDA Scan done it was at 65% which was normal. so dropped down pretty quick. so preop tomorrow and surgery is on Wednesday 5/20, NEXT WEEK! lord that's quick. but I'm gonna do it cause who knows when next date is available. I don't want to be in pain all the time. I have to be in a wedding on the 30th but I expect I should be able to move around by then. I pretty much was mobile 10 days after gastric bypass, so I should be okay.

so here we go back to the OR!

and that's just fine
yep finally got down to overweight status. hit 169 this a.m. and that makes my bmi 29.9 down from 46.4 (extremely obese). it also means the scale has decided to move out of the 170's. i have been stuck at 171-173 since March 18, very frustrating up down up down. I'm hoping when the gb issue gets fixed I can eat better and my weight will start going down. 
so my pain saga continues, the latest update is I went on Monday for a Hida Scan of my liver/gallbladder to see if they are functioning whacky and that is what is causing my continuing pain.  so Dr. O'B emailed me yesterday and said there does seem to be a problem with my gb. she's referring it back to my original surgeon Dr. Chu. I just emailed her to light a fire under her to see what is the problem and what can we do to fix it cause I now feel more uncomfortable cause I think the chemicals that contracted my gb made it worse!  my back hurts big time now.
anyway, now it's a hurry up and wait. knowing the Kaiser system I will probably be in pain for a couple of more months until they schedule me for surgery, if that is what they decide to do. we shall see!

so on Saturday 05/02/09 I had the pleasure of going to lunch at Chevy's in Pleasant Hill, I got to meet some great folks from the California message board. I enjoyed the lunch, meeting the fellow surgery soulmates and we exchanged clothes, that was .  2 people stood out to me cause of their bubbly personality, Jenn, who is navy mom of 5, I loved her outgoing spirit and Rachel, she was just so sweet, she's preop and I hopefully can help her on her journey. Barb was awesome too and Leslie who sat next to me but was playing mommy to Jenn's angels. she took her 5 kids and OMG they behaved so well. when I heard she was bringing them I thought Oh Lord, please I want a peaceful lunch but nope they were very good. sweet, really nice kids. so that was good and the next 1 is set for June 27th and I kept thinking that date sounds familiar whats on my calendar, well i got home and noted that our family Discovery Kingdom day is on that day darn it! have to figure it out. I want to do both but can't. I wanted to do DK on 27th cause thats when the union has their family picnic day and we can get tickets to the park and a meal for a cheap price. but we may have to go another day. we shall say. 

on my weight loss journey, I joined gym last week. Planet Fitness. went 2x last week and I'm planning on going tonight. I don't think I'll go every day cause then I'll get bored but I will see. the wedding is coming close and I need to fit better in my bridesmaid dress. it fits but its snug and I think I need to breathe so time goes on my weight dropped a little but still pretty much stalled. i know I need to eat better it's just so difficult for me to eat right, I am also going through depression now. I just feel so down and out about everything and I don't see too much yippee in hurray. I don't have a life and I need to find one. anyway back to work now it's almost time to go.

So I should have posted last week when I made my 9 months post op but been a little flaky in the brain and didn't do it. So today was my weekly weigh in and I'm down to 170, which is -92 lbs. since the beginning of my journey, 8 more lbs and I've lost a total of 100.  I need 25 lbs to get to my goal of 145. it's going slow and hard. so on top of that, I had a small bowel follow through test yesterday, the barium made me ill couldn't come to work. i hope they can figure out this pain soon, i'm so tired of it.
turns out that i have reactive hypoglycemia, my sugar drop throughout the day when i eat carbs or go for awhile without eating. while i realized something was happening to me, that wasn't "normal" i didn't realize how dangerous it can be if I don't control it. some people pass out in the street, you can get very bad, it's like having a diabetic attack. this sucks! anyway today I go pick up my glucometer to keep track of my sugar and then i also have to write down everything I eat and the times and especially when I have attack. next week I go back to dr. to see what we can do about this problem. so right now I am facing 2 issues, the pain in my stomach or wherever it is and the sugar problem. Lord here my cry! I am tired just tired. I don't want to be sick and I surely don't want to be poking my finger every day and taking meds. I wanted this surgery to get me healthy not sicker. and to top it off my weight is stalled, now of course it could be because of this sugar issue so we shall see. anyway that's it for now. i'm tired.

APRIL 15, 2009

I look at the heading on my gblog that says "How I'm doing" and I just think "how am I doing?" sucky that's how. today is weigh day as it always is on Wednesdays, although I must confess I weigh everyday just so I can see if the dang thing has moved but I "record" Wednesdays weight only. so once again I went up 1 lb. this is the 2nd time since surgery this has happened and talk about a downer to the day. it just blows my mind that I am 8 mos. out and the damn scale is always stuck. right now I'm battling with 172-173 up and down and I'm telling you it's hitting me hard. I am in a funk about it and I am just "done" like why did I have this surgery to do be miserable and not get where I want to be. in 3 mos I'll be 1 year out and at this rate I won't make my goal of 145. I can't even get to -100 lbs. and i'm 10 lbs from there, doesn't sound like much but right now since I'm stuck 10 lbs is a long way away. I'm tired of it all, of constantly worrying about what I put in my mouth, of trying to figure out what I'm gonna put in my mouth of thinking I should be exercising but with all my aches and pains I can't even think of that. the most I can do is walk and if I do that too much my body is hurting for days. Now to top it off I got some inflammation in my rt thumb and I'm wearing a splint cause it was so bad I couldn't move my hand, had to go to urgent care, got a cortisone shot and then got a splint. dr says it has to rest or won't get better. so like it or not I have to wear the splint to let it rest. I got my bridesmaid dress on Saturday, it zipped up but it's a little snug at belly, another reason I need to be rid of 10 lbs. I think that's depressing me too, going to be a bridesmaid for the first time in my life and have to worry about what to wear, how i'm gonna look, getting my hair, nails and toes done, buying a bra/girdle, getting my tan straps to even out cause we ended up with spaghetti strap dress UGH! my entire life revolves around my body, my weight, my hanging skin, my lack of wardrobe. I truly need to get a life, to get some friends, some activities, something other than coming to work, sitting at home with kids and grandbabies. I need something to do with myself that involves me for me. well I'm gonna go now, get back to work. That's All For Now - Be Blessed In All Your Steps! Stay Strong! Judy