Six years post-op update.
Jul 09, 2013
Yesterday was my anniversary and I didn't even realize it. It's been a long twisting road with lots of obstacles. I think the last couple of years have been the best, in that I am learning the lessons I should have known from the beginning. I can't outline just what has worked for me because it's way too convoluted. My truths have become: I CAN'T have wheat or dairy....they are the driving force of my past failures. I NEED to put a vitamin in my mouth every day so that my brain will continue working. I'M RESPONSIBLE for moving my ass as much as possible, the more movement I can manage, the better off I am mentally and physically.
Almost 2 years ago I began my recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction. This made all of the rest of the changes in my life possible. I continue to follow a 12 step program.
My marriage has survived all of these changes and this August will be 23 years. Amazing.
WLS gave me a gift. I abused it for a long time until I dealt with the underlying issues that got me to 320 lbs to start with.
2 years out!
Jul 10, 2009
* I lost all my weight in 8 months......dropped to my lowest at 134 lbs and then gained up to what I am now....145 lbs.
* I'd like to weigh less but thats just my vanity talking, I'm fine in a size 8-10. I even wearr a bikini and dont look hideous.
* I eat badly and I know it. Admitting it is hard. I try to eat enough protein but manage to fail miserably.
* I have found that there are foods that I CANT tolerate and its probably good that I cant. I have not eaten ice cream, pasta, rice or bacon in 2 years. Its a good thing.
* I CAN eat 85% dark chocolate because the sugar percentage is very low, but the fat grams are gigantic. (I have to have chocolate at least once a month)
* Sometimes I still overeat or dump and have to lie down and recover and its miserable.
* I cant throw-up anymore. I mean, I have tried, but it just doesnt work anymore. I do dry-heave for hours though which is worse.
* Working out became an addiction that I burnt out on. Now I go sporatically.
* I dont tell people that i used to be fat anymore.
*I havent been back for any follow-ups with my doctor.
* My hair fell out BIG-time and is just now getting back to normal.
* I occasionally drink diet soda, white wine, beer and I chew gum like a crazyy person.
* I went thru a "period of adjustment" with my husband. He married me fat so when I got tiny it kinda weirded him out for a minute. He's over it, we've moved on.
*I feel younger and aspire to do EVERYTHING now. That alone was the best outcome of the surgery.
One year, 6 months
Jan 10, 2009
I blog sorta regularly here -------> michelle-fatbgone.blogspot.com/
Come visit sometime!
Back to my old BLOG....oh yeah and 195!
Sep 01, 2007
Anyway, thats it! Tata!
Aug 31, 2007
We get home Monday night and I feel like shit. I take my meds and try to sleep. Doesnt work. Monday night turns into Tuesday Day. I spent the day alone in the house managing my symptoms. Misery. Tuesday night Joe goes to work.....he doesnt want to, I look bad. I make him go, he cant miss any more days at work. I spend the night managing my fever (100-101). By the time Joe gets home (7 am) I'm hanging on by a thread. He says I look green/grey and I can barely stand up. We all get in the car and drive to my follow-up appt. I cry all the way, I know I'm infected I just dont know how bad. We get there. The doctor sees me and immediately admits me. I'm much sicker than I thought. They bring in a specialist, it seems I came very close to SEPSIS. After 23 bags of antibiotics, more sticks with needles than I care to recall and a LOAD of fluids, I'm home. On Thursday I begged to be sent home, but the doc said NOPE. I'm glad he kept me till Friday though, making sure all the mean bugs were dead.
So here I sit now. Recovering from my recovery. Nothing has been done at home, only the basics....which means my kids are still alive and the house is still standing. I've been dealing with piled up money issues and late bills, food issues (as in, none in the house), laundry, getting in touch with irate proffessors at my school, explaining to my sons busdriver that he cant make it to the bus on Tuesday morning because my husband didnt get the kid his MANDATORY vaccination for middle school and of course, clothes shopping for my daughter who has absolutely nothing to wear that doesnt have a stain on it. A mouthful huh? and I've managed half of it since 4 pm.......its almost 7. I'm tired. So with my luke warm bowl of Wendys chili I bid you adieu. I'll dream tonight...hell....I'll be happy just to sleep!!
198 and surgery tomorrow, yay.
Aug 25, 2007
Anyway, 198 lbs. The scale hadnt been moving and a couple of days ago I hit 199. That was great but I figured I'd slingshot back up over 200. Nope. Well, actually it will once I get an IV in me tomorrow. I'm not concerned, I just want to feel better and I dont care if I weigh 20 pounds more after. As long as my pain is gone, I can relax.
I tried peanut butter on a spoon the other day. Sounded good. Didnt sit well. I didnt dump but I think my belly had a hard time processing it. I've been scared to try more new stuff cause I hate feeling like crap for hours if it doesnt agree with me. I promise to be more adventurous after I recover from Monday. Oh and last night I grilled some steaks on the BBQ and they smelled SO good. I swear I was so tempted to just bite off a huge chunk. Steak scares me though, I worry that I wont be able to chew it enough. I may try hamburger tonight.
Aug 23, 2007
My eating lately has been a struggle. I had a cup of dry cheerios for breakfast, a small chili for lunch, and a cup of soup for dinner.
200 and in pain.
Aug 21, 2007
Tried a beef/bean burrito today, just ate the guts and it sat really well. I knew I was eating it too fast, got those little chest pains we get. It was very good though, so good that I started to worry I might dump from the grease. Nope, its been 2 hours and I still feel ok. I bought an order of Pintos and Cheese for later. I'm trying to drink at least 6-8 cups of tea a day (8 oz cups). I should be drinking more but I have to watch how close to eating I get, dont want to wash the food away too soon.
My depression still looms like a black cloud around my head. I cry because all I can seem to focus on is how to manage my pain. Its pathetic. I'm worried about the first week of school and cant help but feel like a failure for not being able to be there. Stupid, i know. My husband cant understand why I'm always in bed and he gives me the "look" all the time. I've tried to explain to him what kind of pain I'm dealing with but I dont think he really understands. He just knows that he's having to do alot of the things I normally do and he doesnt like it. Oh well.
201 and my family is back.
Aug 19, 2007
201 and relief at last.
Aug 16, 2007