jliza001

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Yay! I got my insurance card in the mail today! I have to make a photocopy of both sides and fax it to PBSMG tomorrow. Now I just have to go in and get my labs!!! I should be hearing from my Patient Counselor by tomorrow, so if she hasn't called by the time I get off work (3pm) I am gonna give them a call - after I fax my insurance card of course. I wonder how long it will take to get an appointment with the surgeon for a consultation? To the boards!
-Jessie

I still haven't received my insurance card yet!!! Urgh!! I am supposed to have some labs and x-rays done :(Pacific Bariatric received my paperwork on last Monday and hopefully they will be calling me any day now to go over my test and medical history. And hopefully by then I will have my insurance card. I think I am just stressed out. I just got over a cold (lost 3 lbs!) and I don't think I have ever had so much music to learn in all my life! Plus there is work... sigh....
Ah well, it is a beautiful day and I get tip money and FREE COFFEE (yum!) Now to learn this Zauberflote!

- Jessie

Still no insurance card... but I have my insurance # and it should be here any day now according to the Blue Cross Rep. I called to double check also if WLS is covered because it says: "Surgical treatment for morbid obesity will be covered only when criteria are met as recommended by our Medical Policy." Well what is their medical policy. The lady on the phone said the doctor would have to believe that I would die from being overweight. Isn't that why its called morbid obesity? I just wanted to know if I needed diet records from the past 5 years, 6 months on a doctor supervised diet, etc... but so I guess I just need to get my labs done (I am really afraid to go without my insurance card! -- I guess I should just call) and then my Patient Coordinator said that she should call me by the end of the week! Yay!

It was funny, I haven't talked about surgery in a while because there have been no new developments since getting the referral and so when I mentioned it to my BF last night he got all nervous and weird because he thought that wanting WLS was just a "phase" that I was going through since I hadn't talked about it in so long. He's just worried that something bad will happen. But like my mom said, you can die stepping out your front door, but does that mean you�re not going to go outside?

I am losing my self esteem. I am back at school where everyone is young or thin or both. I am having a hard time making friends. I think it's the fact that I am overweight and I am having a financial crisis right now... and have been since I moved to SF. But I finally have a job so that will be like an extra $1000 bucks a month and my BF should be getting a better job soon.. just have to wait for that pesky bureaucratic CA gov't. But even though we are fat and poor we haven't been this happy in a long time (relationship wise). We used to fight about everything and we don't too much any more. Maybe because we don't have roommates. But I think I have accepted who he is as a person. I want him to do great things because he is a great guy and he shouldn't waste his talents and assets on a crappy job that he isn't fond of just because its there. And he has this great supportive friend who does things that I could never do -- no matter how much I nagged. So they are training to apply for CHP officers. I am very excited. I think by next year things will be going a lot better for us... if we accomplish all the things we have planned to do.

Anyhow I have seriously digressed from WLS so I will sign off and get ready for class.
- Jessie

Yay! I have crossed the second hurdle! I have gotten a referral from my PCP. I was super nervous, but as I was waiting to meet with her for a general check-up I noticed she was doing a BMI study. So when she asked why I was here today, I said that I needed a general check up and wanted a referral to meet with a surgeon about WSL. She made sure I was informed and that my BMI was high enough (it's 43) and then she was like "Sure, of course! I will definitely do that." I was expecting he to say NOOOO just diet and exercise. Like at Kaiser. But she was Great!!!! Whoopdedoo! I also got hired at Starbucks so today was a double whammy!! I just have to call my dad to get his health information for my family health form and then WAIT for my insurance company to send me my health insurance card so I can schedule a consultation with the surgeon. I am like on cloud nine! I can't believe it's really happening. It really just blows my mind. I wonder if anyone has ever started two programs at two different bariatric centers. I want to go to san Diego because my mom is there and the doctors seemed great, but UCSF is close by and my new PCP is there. But its supposed to take like 6-8 months to get a surgery date and I would like to get it done before Christmas so I can recover without having to take off school. Anyhow.... time to go to class.

My birthday is in two days!!!! I'm going to be 18 - no 23.. yeah 23 is a good age. hehehe... naw, I'm going to be 27. This site is addicting. I like to skim through the gallery and read stories of people who look my age. I am glad to read that a lot of surgeons are more hopeful about younger people getting surgery. I was so fearful that I don't have diabetes or GERD (I didn't even know what that is)! But they say the surgery is preventative -- so I don't get those things. My grandmother died of diabetes mellitus and she was only 73 and was NOT overweight. My dad is always reminding me how it runs in the family and to lose weight. I have actually lost the 4 pounds I gained (yay!) but I still feel terrible when I go to school. The classes are TINY and I think I am the fattest student out of the 300 students (undergrad and grad and post grad). It didn't help that my Vocal Phys teacher started cracking fat jokes like "we used to call Jessye Norman Jessye Normous. O. M.G. I was like, SHOCKED! There were 3 overweight kids in the class and he's telling fat jokes! What an ass. I know it happens in real life, but I did not pay $26,000 to have a teacher tell me fat jokes!!! But sadly, even in the opera world where it wasn't over till the fat lady sings, body type is becoming an issue. I read about the whole Deborah Voight fiasco where she was fired because she couldn't fit into a dress. Opera singers have to be fit -- especially if you have a massive voice that needs a lot of support -- but now you have to svelte too. I read that some people were actually upset at her that she lost weight -- saying that she was a cop-out for BBW. Wow. Sucks.

Anyhow, back to surgery... I am nervous about the referral. But I need it to meet with the surgeons!! This is my first visit with my new insurance. I am going to call Kaiser and see if I can pick up my medical records. Just incase. Just so I have them. I don't really have a primary care physician. Not even when I was at Kaiser. I didn't really go to the doctor much. Just when I wanted to see a dietician (OMG do you know that the NP who saw me that day told me to just diet and exercise and I would be fine. DUH!!!!! She told me to join weight watchers and go to a seminar. I went, but I think the discover health channel program thing - motivated me more. I just went to weight watchers to weigh in. 20 pounds in 5 months. Eh, I guess its better than no pounds in 5 months. Of course my boyfriend lost 40!! But I guess he does have more muscle and less fat that me. Still. >: Okay... I am way to chatting this morning. I guess even if no one reads this, its sooo therapeutic. Just getting it all out. I hate being fat!!!
-Jessie

Well I failed that Music History exam >.<;; and Music Theory. But the gods must like me because I miraculously passed out of Musicianship. I think it was a glitch though. I know I didn't pass out of it. Oh well. I thought I didn't do too bad for being a biology major! These past weeks I have been so busy with school, trying to find a job (I think I am going to get hired at the nearby Starbucks!), and trying to keep up with my surgery stuff. I still haven't gotten my insurance card yet, but I found out that I can make an appointment anyway but I just have to put down a $100 deposit. So I'm going in for an annual check up and plan to ask about the referral to see at surgeon about gastric bypass surgery. The person I'm seeing is an internist. I don't know what that is but I hope she can give me a referral. My appointment is Monday and I hope to have my referral and my labs done before the end of September. I wish I would have gotten on the ball with this sooner. I have a month long winter break and that would be the PERFECT time to have my surgery done... my mom has already volunteered to take care of me. But from what I have been reading, I don't know if I'll be able to have surgery by the end of the year. But I am going to keep my fingers crossed. Referral & Labs & Paperwork to Pacific Bariatric before 9/30. I have 3 weeks.... hmmm... well maybe I'll get lucky.

Today is the first day of my WLS journey. I have been researching (did you know you could watch a laproscopic RNY on the web? Its awesome!) and going to seminars/lectures and today met with a doctor from the Pacific Bariatric Surgical Medical Group (Scripps Mercy) in San Diego during a seminar in Oakland. It was really great. They had started early, but the doctor was sitting with us in the audience, asking questions (I felt like I was in physiology class lol) and getting to know our names even. I was weighed and found out that I have gained 4 pounds :( and that my fat free mass is 136lbs. They took my information and gave me an information packet, complete with a quiz and an extensive medical background form. I had no idea what "bloody sputum" was and had to google it. (It's mucus). Then made the hardest phone call ever... to my dad, asking him for support. He's always made comments about my weight until we stopped speaking for almost a year. But I was SOOOOO relieved when I told him and realized that he was behind me 110%. He was about to whip out his checkbook before I told him that my insurance should cover it. It's nice to have the support. Unlike my two best friends who got so upset when I told them. They thought that it was unnatural and a cop-out. But I told them that if my insurance would pay for Jenny Craig for the rest of my life then I would do that. But guess what, they won't. I don't think they realize that the surgery is a tool -- just like diet aids. It gives you a jump-start to losing some weight, but to be successful you have to do one thing: burn up more calories than you take in. I have the will power to lose weight - I just need help doing it! Oh well, pooh on them. I'm sure they'll be by my side when I go under the knife though. ^^; I am worried about my insurance. I am enrolling for Blue Cross of California through my school. I hope it will cover it. I haven't had insurance for the past year (I thought I did - eek!). But I am the same weight as I am when I went to Kaiser in 2004. All this writing is very therapeutic, but I have a Music History Placement Exam in the morning.... ugh. Good night!
-Jessie