1 year ago...

Apr 02, 2010

It has now been more than one year since my surgery.   I got asked if I would have the surgery again?  I am glad I don't have to.  It was hard.  Was it worth it?  Are you kidding me?  Totally worth it! 

The GOOD:  I weight 125 pounds.  I eat like a truck driver and indulge in my favorite junk food and still lose weight!  I live by a few rules:  diet drinks, milk or water ONLY and eat protein first.  Thats it.  The way my husband looks at me now if unbelievable.  He does not recognize me a lot which cracks me up.  He will be waiting for me to come out of the grocery store and just sit there in the truck because he does not realize that it is me.  Our love life is amazing which makes this surgery so worth any sacrafice. 

The BAD:  I am weak.  I am afraid I suffer from the same muscular dystrophy the rest of my father's side suffers or has died from.  I lost a lot of my muscle strength in the 12 weeks it took me to recover from the surgery, and I will never get that strength back.  It makes it hard for me to preform the physical aspects of my job.  I only work two days a week now so I can still be a Mom and Wife which is my most important job.  I don't know whether I will ever have plastic surgery because I am scared of the anesthesia and of the recovery.  But 90% of the reason I had the surgery was because of this disease.  Like a physician told me, "your husband is going to end up caring for you.  Do you want him to care for you at 260 pounds or 130 pounds?" 

The UGLY:  The skin is ugly.  My arms are batwings.  I have NO chest.  I am not even an A cup.  If I try to wear a 34B I have to use padding.  I expected the tummy skin.  It is not worse than I thought.  My upper inner thighs are very loose, but I am lucky.  It does not go down to my knee, it is just a couple inches from my groin. 

If you are considering this surgery, please listen to those on this site that have has success and live this life.  I followed Lori Black's advice to the "T" and have been so successful.  Lose the weight first then add all the goodies as tolerated.  Take care of yourself.  And love yourself enough to not screw up this second chance you have been given.  I see too many people in my career who have had weight loss surgery and lose very little or gain all of the weight back plus some. 

I love my life.  I always have.  This surgery has changed my life in very obvious ways but it is still very much the same.  I am still the same person I have always been.  I am married to the same wonderful man and have the same kids.  My kids are aware of the weight loss but they keep me very humble.  When someone at their school wanted to meet my husband's new wife, they just said "oh thats just my mom".  They could care less.  And that why I love them so much!!
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Goal??

Dec 06, 2009

How do you know when you have reached your goal when it seemed so unobtainable for so long?  What was my goal to begin with: a number on the scale? a certain size? feeling better? feeling healthy? looking good? 

People I know are starting to tell me I am getting too thin.  Is there such a thing?  Are they sincere or insecure?  Am I honest with myself or insecure?  I am 5ft 3inches tall.  I weigh 130 pounds, officially I have lost 1/2 my self, but have GAINED so much!!  I wear a size 4.  How is that possible??  I bought a size 2 pair of jeans that I am comfortably wearing right now.  I struggle with eating.  I am hungry within 30 minutes after eating, but I only eat a small amount at a time.  I try to get my protein in.  I am not a fan of protein shakes, but I think I need to be.  I can eat mostly anything except bread.  Bread will make my insides blow up and I would just rather not deal with that.  I don't watch my carb intake like I did immediately after surgery.  I keep a very close eye on protein.

I wake up everyday scared that when I pass by the mirror I will see my "old self" staring back at me.  I have not wrapped my head around all this weight loss.  It plays a lot of head games with me.  Right now, I am happy with myself.  Yeah, the skin issues are annoying.  But with a good bra and a pair of "suck it in" panties, I actually look good.  Do I feel like spending $15,000.00 to get the skin removed and be in pain for at least 6 weeks?  NO! Not at this time anyway.  Maybe someday.  I have girls that need to go to college and a dream house to build; things that are more important than vanity.  My husband is amazed with me, and I enjoy it.  He deserves it.  Last night my daughter asked him what he was staring at, and he said "Your mom's butt".  I told her that is a VERY GOOD thing that your dad stills loves me after 15 years.  Not many people have that now a days. 

Good luck to those of you who read this.  If you are considering weight loss surgery--Go for it.  You deserve it.  Buckle your seat belt and hold on; you're in for the ride of your life!  God bless.
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4 Month Update

Jul 17, 2009

Wow!  I can't believe it is 4 months.  I missed my 3 month update, sorry.  Life is great.  I weigh 185 which puts me at 71 pounds lost.  I just had a 3 month check up at the surgeon's office and my CRNP told me my weight loss is off the charts.  I am back to work.  THANK GOD!   I am back working on the cardiovascular floor and I LOVE IT!  Everyone is so supportive and encouraging.  I need to buy new scrubs but I can't seem to break down and do that.  Everytime I buy a new pair of jeans they do not fit a week later.  My scrub pants are draw string so I just look extremely ridiculous for now.  OH WELL!  The wows for me just keep coming everyday like a miracle.  Here are some that just amaze me...

~~My husband told me the other day that I looked hot.  I never thought in my whole life that he would ever tell me that.  I felt like I could die right then because all could ever want just happened.

~~My daughter and I sat together in the chair at the surgeons office very comfortably during my last visit.

~~My mother in law told me I was beautiful

~~When I go out to eat and sit in a booth the table seems so far away.

~~I have curves I thought I lost when I was eighteen

~~I bought a Liz Claiborne suit in a size medium at the consignment shop today. 

~~I love to buy sexy underwear because it is something I can do for myself that doesn't cost alot.

~~My older daughter gave me some of her jeans from American Eagle so I had to buy her new ones!

~~I look in the mirror and I recognize myself

~~Men pay way too much attention to me.  Very creepy.  At first I thought it was great, but now I just want my husband to look at me and everyone else to ignore me like they did when I was 256 pounds.

I could go on and on.  This is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.  I am loving my DS!!!

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ONEDERLAND

Jun 07, 2009

This weekend was very crazy!!  But, best of all, I weighed 199 Saturday morning (and made my husband drool in my size 16 jeans and form fitting tshirt!).  Life is good.
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Holy cow

May 19, 2009

The insurance nurse was here today to do my DH physical for a life insurance policy.  I stepped on her scale and it read..............205!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm claiming it!  51 pounds gone!!  bye bye.
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2 month update

May 17, 2009

Yesterday was my 2 month surgery anniversary.  I weighed 211 pounds (started at 256 pounds).  I can wear a size 18 and some XL shirts or dresses. 

This surgery has brought so many changes to my life.  I am starting back to work on Friday 5/22/09.  I was not expecting to be out of work this long.  I am in a relief position, so when I work I make a lot of money, but I do not have sick time or disability, so when I don't work--NO MONEY.  I hope as I start back to work, my energy increases and I can get back to a regular schedule.  Although, being off of work has allowed me to adjust to my new body and how it works. 

I am able to drink like a regular person.  That was the hardest part for me.  I take in very little carbs, but only because I eat protein first and I am so full after that, I have no room for anything else.  Popcorn does NOT work with me.  Worst gas and abdominal pain ever.  I stay far away from white flour because, frankly, it scares me.  Other than that, I am getting to know the DS and all its pros and cons.  But you can't argue with success.  I must say I am enjoying the ride!
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Life goes on...

Apr 10, 2009

Well it has been 3+ weeks since my surgery.  I am starting to feel human and eating is becoming a little more easy.  I can eat chicken noodle soup (1/2 cup), eggs, tuna salad, yogurt.  I have found very little I can not tolerate.  I tried oatmeal and that made my stomache growl for the rest of the day.  Broccoli was not good either.  I can drink more now.  I still have to take it slow, and I definately know if I eat or drink too fast.  OUCH! 

For those of you who are pre op and looking at this, this is what has worked for me:

1.  Magic bullet blender--juice, milk, or protein shakes blended with ice went down very smoothly.
2.  Crystal light does not taste the same after surgery.  I can't stand it!
3.  Zofran--really helped control the nausea/quizziness
4.  Diet ginger ale--always helped me with nausea in the past and is working wonders now.  LOVE it!
5.  Eating at a restaurant really helps me when eating.  I don't know if it is the change in scenery or the fact that I am more relaxed.  My husband and I went out to eat pre op and have continued since I feel a little better.  I have had chicken noodle soup at saladworks and Target.  Usually hubby has to finish what I order.

I am not ready to scream I love my DS yet.  I am sure it will happen soon.  The changes to my body are nothing less than a miracle.  I can wrap up in a regular size bath towel without any gaps.  Can you believe it? 

The pain is still present.  And I am still getting used to seeing the awful scar on my stomache.  I am not allowed to go back to work till end of May but that is okay. 

Good luck to everyone.
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post op week #1

Mar 23, 2009

One week ago today, I had the duodenal switch.  I woke up in PACU 12 hours after my surgery only to be told that there were problems, I had an incision from the middle of my breast bone to my bellybutton, and was to remain on a ventilator due to extensive damage done to my esophagus and breathing tube.  Spent 3 days in ICU and was discharged on post op day #5.  I am at home now.  I go see Dr. Bonanni tomorrow to have my jp drain removed.  My staples will stay with me for another week.  I have only been allowed liquids since Saturday.  I find in incredibily difficult, but improve everyday.  Thank you for all your support. 

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Reflections

Jan 12, 2009

I am trying really hard not to become discouraged.  It has been one year since I made the decision to pursue weight loss surgery.  I never considered going anywhere else for my surgery than Abington.  I am disappointed that it has taken so much time.  I feel like I am stuck waiting for my life to begin.  I am trying not to go crazy while I wait through the delays.  Will my day ever come?  Will there be yet another delay?  I talked to Toni from Dr. B's office and got the date of 3/17/08

I am enjoying some of the changes I have made last year in preparation for my new life after I am switched.  I changed jobs and now have weekends and holidays off.  Although I struggled at first, I now love the department I have joined and love the challenges it presents everyday.  The people I work with are amazing and I am so thankful to God for leading me in this direction.  I only work 8 hours a day compared to the 12 hour days I worked in my old position.  I can get my girls ready for school in the morning and I am home to help with homework and have supper with them.  I love it!  I have found a great family doctor that cares for my entire family and I am very grateful to her for the care she gives to each of us. 

I have made a conscious decision to keep my desire to have weight loss surgery to myself.  I have told only my husband and my sister in my personal life and plan to keep it that way.  Of course, working in the Surgical department where I plan to have my surgery, my coworkers are aware of my decision and very supportive. 
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Another new date...

Dec 29, 2008

I heard through work and some of my patients that Dr. B still is not doing surgery in January.  I called the office and they said they needed to reschedule me for March.  So, my new date is 3.17.09.  Happy St. Patricks day to me.  Hopefully the third time is a charm.  Get better soon Dr. Bonanni!
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About Me
PA
Location
20.4
BMI
DS
Surgery
03/17/2009
Surgery Date
Oct 16, 2007
Member Since

Friends 34

Latest Blog 18

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