I keep forgetting...

May 13, 2010

At what age do we turn "old"?  Maybe it's my senility finally settling in, but I distinctly remember in my teenage years, old certainly hit after 25...and I'm turning 33 on Monday and I've yet to look in the mirror and see old.  I have the same skin that I did when I was 16...okay, actually, better...fewer breakouts and I learned the value of skin care.

But seriously, when is this age of wisdom, sophistication and oldness hit?  I've been waiting to grow up for a very long time...and I'm to the point now where I almost fear it.  Maybe it's the fact that my husband and I don't have kids yet...I've heard that men are kids until they have kids...and then, EVEN then, they still retain many aspects of a 12 year old.  Maybe I'm more like a man in that regard.  Believe me, I have my share of video games...and I'll get down and dirty on Dungeons and Dragons.  I still find that hanging out with my 6 year old niece can be the highlight of my week...and the fact that we're cruising the same brainwaves on what do to with that time is a bit unnerving when looked at from a 30-something perspective. 

Will I turn old when I stop singing in the car at the top of my lungs (thankfully drowned out by a loud stereosystem?) Will I turn old when I wake up and see blue sky and my toes don't tingle at the thought of running around in grass or sand barefoot?  Will I be old when I come home from work and see my hubby and don't squeal and go running up to him (Peggy Bundy style) and throw myself at him?  

Will it be okay to have kids and still be a bit of a kid yourself?  Do other people look in the mirror and still see themselves at 16...13...5?  Do other people still have the same little kid inside of them...with their fear and uncertainty?  As adults, we learn ways of handling ourselves, for societies sake at least...but inside, are we ever actually adults?  My only responsibilities are bills and feeding my husband and animals...cleaning my house, gardening...work...etc.  Will I have more responsibilities that will age me?  I helped raise my niece for a large part of her life...and I remember thinking that now I have an excuse to buy all the cool toys.  It didn't seem like a responsibility so much as a joy.  So...is it perspective that has us stay young? 

My ramblings need to end...there's hungry man that needs to be kissed and loved and fed...but I'd love to hear your feedback on all of this.  I've been wondering for years...when will I grow up?

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