Tabitha72

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June 16, 2019

Well, Normally this time of the year I would be hiding in my house. Hiding because the weather is to warm, as well as hiding because I hated my weight. Now I look forward to going out and even encourage it. 

The first photo was a picnic my husbands job had. At first he did not want to go out but after he saw me getting ready and enjoying it I think it wore off on him and he started enjoying it. The second photo was when I took my husband out for fathers day. Before we would have stayed home and cooked something on the grill. But instead we took him to a nice resturant. 

Another new thing, I have started wearing heels when I dress up. Not that I need them. Im 5' 8" without heels. Lol. I used to be so afraid that I would fall or the heels would break and people would make fun of me because of it. I have some thiner heels but have not got up enough courage to wear them yet. lol

June 01, 2019

I have been so busy that I have fallin behind on writeing blogs. But I have written them down on pad of paper so i can catch up now lol.

The bus company I work for has an appreciation lunch at the end of the school year. I had decided to wear the same outfit this year, 16 months Post-op as I did last year 6 months Post-op. Even though I know in my heart I have lost weight and my self esteem is so much better now. I am still shocked to see the side by side comparison. 

I have learned threw this past year and a half that I do not have the dumping to help me stay on track with my WOE. But I have been real good with keeping track of how much I eat. From the beginning I started noticing the signs of when I was full. It makes it so much easier since I do not have to count calories. When we go to company picnics or go out to eat I dont have to worry about "do they have something my stomach can handle" My husband on the other hand does. And more times than not he ends up dumping cause he ate something that did not agree with his new stomach.

This weekend my husband and I decided to take advantage of the fact that my schools and his job both had us off at the same time to enjoy a 4 day weekend. Rather than sit at home or be lazy we decided to go hiking lol. We decided on a 3 day, 15 mile hike on the appalachian trail. We were not sure if we would make it as this is the longest hike we ever did and it was threw some very rocky area's. Plus we took two of our dogs with us. 

Prior to our surgeries we could never had made a hike like this. The first day we just did 4 miles. It was so easy. The hardest part for us was carrying all our gear on our backs. Of course we did not have some of the right gear to minimize the weight but we felt we could handle it. We carried a tent with us rather than our hammics because we had the dogs with us. The second day was tough. We hiked 8 miles the second day. We got to the camp area later than we expected. One of the hardest things we had to deal with is not being able to eat the low weight, high carb hikers usually eat. We managed but could feel the toll on our bodies as we started loseing energy to early. So we stoped midway to recarb up and push caution to the wind with the foods we ate this time. We figured with as much activity we were doing it would be ok to push higher carbs than we usually eat. Of course being on the trail it made it harder to get protein levels in as well. We found that on friday we were in fat burning mode for 8hrs, saturday 11hrs, and on Sunday 5hrs. 

On the third day it was very hard. we started right out of the gate climbing very high rocky terrane. Than we enjoyed the view at the top before heading back down hill on rocks again. When we reached bottom we were so releaved. We made it and we were still alive lol. 

This was the beginning of the trail were we started on Friday.

This was the view we saw before heading back down the mountain towards our goal on Sunday. 

It's amazing to see the change we have gone threw when you compare one year with the next.

These photos are us kayaking. The top is this past friday and the bottom is the same month last year. May last Year I was 218lbs and May this year Im 188. I find that with the lower weight I can manuvor into awkward spaces better lol. Like going from land into a kayak and from the kayak onto land. Last year I was still uneasy about this transition. This year it was much easier. When I put my life vest on I also found I had to tighten the straps up. I've said it before but it still amazes me to see the change in myself. 

Kayaking was something we have had a desire to do for many years. However due to our weight we could not do it. We have been waiting for weeks for the weather to clear up so we can get back on the water again. Friday we were able to go back on the water, and we decided to try our dogs on it as well. We had so much fun.

While on this jurney I have noticed many times I find it amazing how people respond to my weight loss. I see in myself that I have lost weight but many times I do not see the extent of it. Of course I see the clothes change size and of course i see the weight difference on the scale. But to look in the mirror I dont see the weight change as much as others. 

I have realized that this is because we see ourselves in the mirror every day, Unless we drop a huge amount of weight over night we see the effects gradual. This causes us to not see the before and after as much as others do. It's not that I dont believe that I lost weight, It's just that at times it is hard for me to physically see the change. For me the realization hits when i put on something I have not altered and I can see the change between the way it fit before and the way it fits now.

My husband and I decided to cycle to raise money for children fighting cancer. We have set a donation goal and a distance goal. So to prepare for this we are cycleing 10 miles+ with a group called Sunset Scramblers once a week. Last tuesday I decided to grab my hip pouch. I havent worn it since before my surgery. When I put it on it was still set to the way i used to wear it. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I could physically see how much more skinnier I am now compared to before. This made me feel so good I had to take pictures of it. 

     I have lived in the house I'm in for 15+ years. There is this one neighbor of mine who has lived here for at least the last 5 of those years. We didn't see much of each other for those 5 years. Partly because we were both overweight so we didn't go outside much. Today she said something to her kids about getting permission for her kids to use our trammpoline. I yelled over It's mine and they can use it if you stay with them. She looked at me like "Who are you and why are you talking to me?"

     After a few minutes of talking she said let me come over so we can talk better. When she came over she stoped for a minute. She asked me "are you the same person that helped with the cats a couple years ago?" I said yes and she was shocked. She was amazed at how much weight I lost and how much different I looked. She said she thought that we moved out and someone new moved in when she saw us. She did not recognize me. She kept repeating over and over at how amazed she was of my transformation.

     I left for work and could not stop smileing. It got me thinking about how we change. Not only do we change our diets, our habits, and of course our weight. But we also change our attitudes. What I mean is we have a better self esteem. We tend to do things that while heavier we would never have thought about doing for fear of being made fun of. This change reflects in how we look and act. 

     Myself for one since I have lost weight I go out more often, i socialize more, I participate in activites and things more often, I dress better (not just because there are better clothes for smaller sizes but because we feel better about showing more or dressing sexier), I have even started fixing my hair up and wearing makeup. I have not done this in years and now I have been doing this for months because i feel good about myself. I even take selfies and before you had to catch me off guard or be something special for me to want a picture of myself.

This picture shows me april of 2017 8 months before my surgery, and april of 2019 16 months after surgery. weight about 300 in 2017 and now 188 in 2019

This week has been hard. Last week I had a high when I realized for the first time ever I weighed less than my husband at 186.0 even though I am much taller than him. But then over the weekend I got my visitor which put on weight, I was in pain so didnt go to the gym. And was depressed so I ended up eatting some things I shouldnt have. Today I got on the scale and im back to 187.

All day long I was batteling if I should go to the gym or not. I really did not feel up to it. I was supposed to go somewhere so I used that as an excuse to not go but then that fell threw, than I said opps I forgot my water bottle so i tried to use that as an excuse not to go, I procrastinated at work. As I was walking to my car getting ready to head home i finally convinced myself to stop trying to put it off and just go. It is hard when you get off work to go and spend a few hours at the gym, come home and try and take care of everything you have to take care of before going to bed. This is the main reason I did not feel up to going to the gym today. This and of course that sneaky "Lazy self" that keeps showing her ugly head. 

When I got to the gym I decided to try and push my times. Hey, after all if i push my times not only will my workout be better but I will get home that much faster. Well it sorta backfired. I did manage to push my times. However I also increased some of my exercises lol. Shrugs ohh well thats a good thing too.

After finishing I was so glad that I won this battle. It's an ongoing battle. One that I am determined not to lose. Even though my "Lazy Self" keeps showing up I am determined to not let her take control. She might win sometimes. But for the most part she will be stuffed way down deep in my gym bag while I am crushing this weight. 

I have seen many times people ask if anyone has regrets of doing this surgery. Each time it got me thinking about it. Regrets? Yeah I have some. I regret getting lazy and gaining so much weight. I regret not living fully for my daughter when there were things I wouldnt be able to do. I regret living for so long unhappy, depressed.

Regret having the surgery? NEVER! it gave me back my life. At 47 I am doing more now than I did in my late 20's. i'm doing things I dreamt of doing for years but always thought i would never get the chance. Running again, hiking, canoeing. How can I regret something that has made my life 110% better?

Thats not to say that its always easy or always will be easy. I still struggle with the "lazy" me. Sometimes she wins and I put off going to the gym but most of the time the new me wins and I go. Once I get there I hate to leave lol. And when i set new goals for myself at the gym and meet those goals its the best feeling in the world.

I regret seeing the old me on my drivers license but i love when people cant believe I lost so much weight and I show them my id. The look on their face is priceless lol. So for anyone who wonders if their are regrets. My answer is Yes, but never will I regret having the surgery. It is well worth the time, struggle, and effort.

lol. Decided to go another day to the gym since hubby was working second shift today. I ended up running the full 5k instead of on and off running and walking. And I cycled an extra 2.5 miles. working towards 15 miles so i can then do a triatholon maybe next year. Since going to this new gym we have been going at least once a week. it feels so good once we get their. Just trying to keep that old lazy fat self from taking over our mind set's.

I was stalled for a long time at 188 I am starting to see a change again. Not only have some measurements gone down but my weight is averageing at 187.3 now. This afternoon the scale said 185.8. I'm not falling for it though. The scale touched that number onc before and than went back to 188. So we will have to see.

Weight: 187.8 lbs, Measurments: Neck 14.5", Chest 38.0", Waist 41.0", Hips 42", Thighs 23.0", Arms 12.5"

Gastric Bypass RNY Dec. 20 2017 

Hw:333
Sw: 271
My Cw:187.3

Dr. Gw: BMI < 28  

  
My Gw: 175
Current Overall Weight loss -145.7 lbs.,

My husband and I decided to go to a very nice resturant for our 21st. anniversary this year. We wantted to go somewhere we could dress up since we both have lost so much weight. I decided for the first time in many many years that I was also going to wear heels. 140+ lbs ago I would never have dreamed of wearing heels. 

I also decided to wear a dress that was above the knee's and off the shoulders. The only bad thing about it was since I had to wear a strapless bra and since my chest has deflated with the weight loss I looked like i didnt have any chest lol. 

We had a great time and we both felt so good. It was almost like we were seeing each other for the first time again. I guess in a way we were. We're both half the person we used to be when we first met. 

Weight: 187.8 lbs, Measurments: Neck 14.5", Chest 38.0", Waist 41.0", Hips 42", Thighs 23.0", Arms 12.5"

Gastric Bypass RNY Dec. 20 2017 

Hw:333
Sw: 271
My Cw:187.8

Dr. Gw: BMI < 28  

  
My Gw: 175
Current Overall Weight loss -145.2 lbs.,