missrocky

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I put a blurb out on the local board looking for someone who has outgrown their Swim Suit and I received such a nice response! One gentleman even volunteered to BUY ME a new one! Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?!

My business is SO SLOW right now and I can't afford to buy a pot to piss in, much less a Swin Suit! I just don't want to stop taking my Water Classses...My range of motion is so much better if I go everyday and the shape of my body is really changing! I've never seen results like this on - well- MYSELF, EVER! 

SO- THANKS FOR BAILING ME OUT LADIES (and lovely gentleman too). You have NO IDEA how much I appreciate it!

Come on already! Geez Louise!

Within me lies the sleeping beast- a complete and total lack of self control which springs forth when the cage door is left ajar...

It lifts it's ugly head at the slightest scent of junk food....then it rumbles and shakes and tries to escape with the fury of a large, African Lion!

So...Do Not- I repeat- DO NOTTEASE, tempt or even approach me with anything high in fat, calories and sugar. I can't guarantee what the beast will do....

 I think you're more vulnerable when you're FAT...when you go from FAT to THIN, You've really accomplished something- you've become a stronger and more POWERFUL you!

I'm sorry to hear about the sexual abuse you've experienced...I can see why you'd consider your former fat a "shield."

As for myself- I'd do anything to get the surgery and strangers and family members can say whatever they'd like to me...good or bad- ya know why? Because I'm one of THOSE PEOPLE who has nasty comments yelled at me when I walk down the street and this happens pretty much EVERYDAY. All my life- SOMEONE has made some kind of comment about my weight at least ONCE a day if not more...and this has been happening since I was 3 years old.

I'd give ANYTHING to be normal and maybe- just maybe- have someone consider me pretty. I have NO PROBLEM being on display. People can ask me ALL the questions they want and it will be a PLEASURE to hear that I'm too thin. They can poke me, prod me and tell me that I took the "easy way out." I don't care, JUST LET ME HAVE THE SURGERY BEFORE I GET TOO BIG OR TOO SICK! Just let me hear 1 sincere compliment that doesn't start with-"You have such a pretty face..."

Unfortunately- this is something that I want SO BAD and I probably won't be able to get it. That's the story of my life. So the next time ANY OF YOU want to COMPLAIN about what people say, stop for a second and think about how very, very LUCKY you are and honestly, if you can't "handle it"- try some therapy so you can get the most out of your WLS.

The scale doesn't seem to want to budge...I did work out for 2 hours in the pool today and I haven't smoked in over a week! Yay for Rocky!

I'm still hoping to keep losing before I go to the doctor...can anyone say- liquid Diet?

I don't know whether I'm being a bitch because I'm missing the nicotine or if I'm PMSing or what BUT I've been in SUCH a bad mood this weekend!

I just don't feel like dealing with anyone and I'm having such a hard time keeping a handle on my food...I've been eating 1200 to 1500 calories a day and on Friday night I went TOTALLY crazy and binged like a cow...ended up eating-like- 2200 calories for the whole day! What is the deal with weekends for me? It always seems to be a Friday or Saturday night when I do this to myself...

I can't use the excuse that I'm loney because Eric's (my exBF) not here because I used to do it WITH Eric when he WAS here!

I'll have to really analyze this before I have my surgery. If I can't fix my head, I won't be able to fix my body...

The scale was wrong at the gym. I weighed in again as was down just 1 more pound. Oh well...I'll keep trying.

Isn't it funny how excited I was yesterday and how bummed I am today? It's not that I'm losing motivation or anything....it's just that I'd really like to actually MAKE IT to some form of a goal without so much hassle. Not that I expect to snap my fingers and have the weigh FALL OFF...F$%K! It takes NO TIME to put it on and FOREVER to take it off!

Just because I was SO PISSED about the scale being wrong, I worked out for 1 1/2 hours today. I'll show YOU, scale!

After sitting at the same weight for 3 weeks- I have FINALLY broken thru and am now under 350 lbs. I'm WAY under 350...I'm 339 lbs!

I'm hoping to make it to under 300 so when I FINALLY get my surgery, I won't have so much to lose!

I want a cigarette. Give me a cigarette. now.Now.now. I want a cigarette. Just a hit. Please. Just a little hit. 1 hit wont hurt. really. I swear.

This is my INTERNAL DIALOGUE...it doesn't have to make sense.

I have to tell you- FitDay.com really rocks.

So I'm TRYING to eat healthy...not following any real diet, just doing my own thing. I mean- I've been fat all my life, I'm an EXPERT at losing weight at this point, right? 

Anyway- I go on FitDay.com and find out that the last time I was on there (my profile was still active) I weight 16 pounds more than I do now. Always a nice way to start- weighing less then you used to weigh.

Ok- here's the point. I've been using there Daily Food Diary Chart Thingy to keep track of what I'm eating and I realized that my calorie intake was good, but my fat and carb intake was too high! Thanks to FitDay.com I have adjusted my diet accordingly.

My weightloss is slow but I'm 5 lbs from my 1st goal of being under 350 lbs. I just can't wait to set my 2nd goal....COMING SOON....

BTW- 4 days and no cigarette! I should get a gold star! WHERE'S my GOLD STAR DAMN IT! Ooops, sorry- that was the lack of nicotine mood swings talking.