tiggrpt
I FINALLY did it!!!!!!!!!
Aug 19, 2008
I'm excited!!!!!!!!!!
Random thoughts........
Aug 16, 2008
First off........I've YET to DUMP!!!!!! I haven't tested the "waters" too much, but enough that I think I'd know by now if I did dump. So far, NOTHING!!!! Which, for me, is depressing as I wanted this tool to help keep me in check....I LOVE sweets and fried foods and I thought the dumping would keep me away from those! So, now, it's on me!!!!! When that fried dough and those onion rings are calling my name...I HAVE to keep myself in check and keep telling myself that I DO dump so I WILL NOT eat some of those things that got me to the point of needing surgery in the first place!!!
Secondly.....HAIR LOSS!!!!!!! Everyday!!!! I am losing hair by the handfuls now!!!!!!! I talked to Corinne about it and she thinks I'm doing all I can and that it WILL stop eventually....hopefully before I go bald??!!???!! I'm getting 80+g of protein daily, all my fluids, taking Zinc, Biotin, and using the Nioxin shampoo/conditioner. Of course, I have the shorter style now, but.......ANY other ideas??? I sure don't feel like going bald......a guess a wig may be an option eventually!
Third.........SKIN!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!! I have so much loose and hanging skin!!!! I have batwings like there is no tomorrow! My belly is saggy! My inner thighs and butt look like they are covered in melted wax!!!! Yeah, I can hide most of it with clothes at this point, but WOW!!! Don't I hate that mirror in the bathroom!!!!!!!!!!! I know, SOMEDAY, I can possibly have something done about it, but, for now, I guess I just have to be grateful that I have a healthier body, even though it may not be the prettiest at this point.
Lastly.....I looked in the mirror yesterday and saw wrinkles!!!!!! I smile....WRINKLES!!!!!!! Maybe I should call them laugh lines???!!??!! It almost makes me look unhealthy! I still see that "old" me until I look at pictures or in the mirror! I'm starting to think that I look sick! I've got bags under my eyes at times, even though I'm getting in all my fluids and sleeping really well. I still don't see myself as having lost this much weight, but when I look at pictures and see my face, I hardly recognize myself!!!! The body image in my mind has definitely not caught up with the mirror and pictures!
I know these issues probably seem sooo miniscule to some. And, if I look at them, they probably ARE just vanity/mental issues. But, I guess I just wanted to point out that it ISN'T all fun and games! There are issues, as insignificant as they may seem!
So.....would I do this all again if I could go back in time?????? YES!!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't trade this aging, wrinkled, saggy body for anything!!!! My health is SOOOOOO worth it!!!! I can't imagine being 259 pounds again!!!!!!!! I NEVER want to that high again and this TOOL is gonna get me where I want to be and KEEP me there!!!! THIS I know!!!!!!!! THIS is what I have PRAYED for all my life!!!!! NOW, my Prayers are being answered! THANK YOU FATHER IN HEAVEN!!!!!!!
4 months out today!
Aug 14, 2008
Two personal trainers from Fitness World came in and spoke with us about the benefits of cardio and weights, etc. It was interesting and informative. But, to me, the best part was getting to mingle with folks afterwards! It always "picks me up"!!! The trainers had brought some snacks for us to try, and, as we were sampling, Dr Loggins came in and chatted with us too. It was really nice to see him mingle with all of us. He mentioned the OH summer gathering and said since he hadn't gotten an invitation that he assumed he couldn't go! Missy and I assured him that if he and Corinne showed up, we were pretty sure that everyone would be glad to see him! Corinne even wrote down the date, so maybe they'll show up?!?! I, personally, think it would be pretty cool! (BTW, Corinne told me that Dr Loggins has been checking out the OH website more......so, be nice! HAHA!! Hi Dr Loggins!!!!!)
A couple more "WOW's" today! I lost another pound so I am now at 150! I've lost 109!! It's all good! Also, I scored a pair of American Eagle jeans on eBay over the weekend ($3.99!!!) and they came in the mail today! They are size 10 and when I took them out of the package, I held them up in front of me and said "I'll never get my fat a** into these! I'll just go put them in a drawer for a while!" So, just for kicks, I tried them on.......AND..........THEY FREAKIN FIT!!!!!!!!!!! I was soooo totally amazed!!!!!!!! I haven't worn size 10 since I was ....uuhh....5 maybe! It's incredible! I'm still amazed almost every day! I'm sooo thankful!!!!!! Oh my.........
So, happy surgiversary to me! And to all of you others out there....happy, struggling, whichever you are.........know that this journey is NOT easy but, be STRONG! FIGHT with all you've got!!! PRAY!!! Be THANKFUL for this tool! Though it may not ALWAYS work the way we want it to....it WILL work! Have FAITH...keep the FAITH! BELIEVE!!!!!!!!! Come here or wherever you need to for support, but get that support! Don't block yourself out....I believe it's the worst thing you can do to yourself and to others! (Yeah, Cheryl, if you read this, I'm talking to you girl! I miss you!) I pray for all my OH friends every day.....I hope YOU ALL find the peace and satisfaction that you want and need from your journey!!!!!!! Just remember, our lives were given to us to do the best with them that we can. That's all we can do....is TRY!!!! If we TRY, then we have NOTHING to be disappointed in!!!!! BELIEVE!!!! I love you all!!!!!!!! Thank you ALL for your support! hugs and honks! Ruth
4 month Surgiversary tomorrow!!!!
Aug 13, 2008
This amazing journey just never ceases to surprise me! There have been many ups and downs, but I haven't felt better than this in years! I am, probably, the best shape I've been in, in my life!!! I am walking/jogging almost daily (as my schedule allows)!! I've got the DH walking with me now (I amazingly was able to get his butt out from in front of the TV! haha)!!! Next week, I am joining a gym so I can start toning more and get ready for this long winter of not being able to walk much outside! I ACTUALLY excited about going to the gym for the first time in my life!!!!!! It's INCREDIBLE and I ALWAYS have to give THANKS to my Father in Heaven....for Dr Loggins and his staff... my family....and all my OH family!!!!! I could NOT have gotten this far without the support of ALL of you!!!!!!!
Of course, I had to take measurements as it IS a surgiversary!! These are in comparison to February measurements(the first time I took them, and I had already lost some weight at that point...so these don't compare to my starting point!) Anyways....
upper arms....... -3.5 inches each
thighs................ -4.5 inches each
bust................... -9.5 inches (talk about needing new bras!!)
hips.................... -11 inches
muffin............... -11.5 inches
waist................. -9.5 inches
weight............... -81 pounds (since 02-10-08....... -108 since consult on December 20, 2007)
I still have a ways to go with the weight and loose skin is hanging everywhere. BUT! I am healthy! I am feeling great! I am doing more than I have in ages! I CAN keep up with the kids! I can race Zach across the front yard and BEAT him now!!!! High blood pressure is gone.....diabetes is gone......knee pain is pretty much gone unless I jog too much.....sleep apnea...well, we'll see about that! I say it's gone, doc says it's not quite! hmmmmm What more could I ask for?
I am determined that I will NOT gain any of this weight back! I am determined that I WILL make my goal and I will do my darndest to meet Corinne's goal for me!! I WILL not fail! I pray to my Heavenly Father as often as I can for the strength to complete this journey. I want to be proud of my accomplishment but more than that, I want my Heavenly Father to know that I DO treasure this earthly body that he has given me and that I CAN take care of it!! I hope I don't let Him down!
To all my OH friends: I am forever indebted to all of you! Your support is incredible!! Thank you all!!!!!!
Thanks for taking the time to read! Have a wonderful day!
18 weeks post-surgery!
Aug 11, 2008
Hard to believe it will be 4 months since surgery next week! It's been an incredible journey and one that isn't even close to being over with yet! I still have about 27 pounds to get to MY goal, but about 42 pounds to get to my Nut's goal for me (I still think she's nuts..but gotta love her!) I'm not sure I'll EVER make it to her goal for me, even IF I have plastic surgery! I MAY have to do something with my arms, belly and "the girls". Everything is getting kinda saggy! I can live with it if I need to as I am SOOO much healthier than I've ever been in my life...BUT....ONE DAY, would sure like to wear a sleeveless shirt and not worry about who is staring at my "bat wings"!!! It's all a work in progress! I'm in no rush and I am hoping that some of the skin will kinda shrink a bit on it's own (maybe some wishful thinking as it's been stretched out for soooooooooo long and I sure ain't young anymore!!!!!!) Oh well, that's the price we pay for getting healthy...IT'S ALL GOOD!!!!
DH started walking/jogging with me this weekend. Now, HE used to run...marathons, all kinds of stuff. He used to run 10 miles in the morning and then go to work (Army) and do PT!! He walked/jogged with me on Saturday (about 4 miles) and Sunday(about 6.5 miles) and today, he could barely get out of bed! HAHA! He didn't come walking with me tonight! It's actually kinda sad though that this is probably the worst shape he's ever been in and this is the best shape I've ever been in, and we're almost at the same level!!!!!!! Kinda scary! So, he SAYS he's gonna start walking with me more and try to get into better shape! I think he likes his TV too much to come walking as often as I do! Time will tell who's right!
So, I'm struggling with the carb monster again! I may have to go back to fluids/protein shakes for a few days to kinda "reset" myself. I'm finding that I can eat more and more "junk" and not get sick or dump! That's scary to me!!!!!!! I WANT to dump! Just ONCE! To teach me a lesson! Is that bad??? I have NOT vomited once since surgery! I had a 1-2 minute episode with foamies....ONCE and it passed so quickly, I THINK it was the foamies, but I'm not sure! It seems my pouch is made of steel and can tolerate ANYTHING! I mean, I know, usually, if I've eaten too much or drank too fast after eating, but nothing I've tried, yet, has made me sick. It's not a good thing! I wanted the RNY to keep me in check and keep me away from the sugar, chocolate and bad carbs! So far (and granted, I haven't REALLY tested things much) no problems. I DON'T want to eat a bunch of sugar and really test my pouchy...that's not why I had this surgery! I guess I just need to keep following my nut's guidelines and keep that AWEFUL carb monster out of my life, as I've been taught to do!
I did ONE final purge of my closet over the weekend! All I have left in there now is stuff I can actually wear without it falling off, except for the one scrub top that I had my consult picture taken in and one "fat" shirt and one "fat" pair of pants to take pix in, someday! Hopefully, someone will make good use of all that clothes! Some of it was kinda 90'ish, but some of it was my dressy/Church clothes, and shirts I had bought for Christmas parties! Makes me sad! I really liked some of that stuff! Oh well! Time to go shopping again! NOT! Who can afford to????
Well, that's my update and I'm sticking to it! Have a great week everyone!!!!!!!!!
Nearly 17 weeks since surgery!!!!!
Aug 02, 2008
I did bring most of the food that I had packed, and, of course, I had too much. But, I AM glad I brought it as mom cooked some stuff that I didn't dare try. As a matter of fact, last night, she made ham steaks on the grill (I ate something else.) but I did try 1 bite of the ham. I'm not sure if it was the glaze she put on them or if it was too fatty or if it was just that one bite too many, but I had to lay down for a while as I was feeling kinda puny! (I never threw up or anything, I just didn't feel good for a while.) BTW, on Thursday, I ate with the family and even ate some munchies (don't flame me! I only ate a couple and it was great to eat a few and then have the will-power to stop and NOT eat the whole bag!!! And, yes, I logged it all!!!!!!! My family was laughing because I was having fun with the bags and doing the math!!) The great part was that I LOST while we were there! 2.5 more pounds! That means I've now lost more post surgery than I did pre surgery! That was one of my goals for my 4 month surgiversary! I was pretty excited about that!!!!
This journey is just incredible and I know that I thank God and Dr Loggins in most of these posts, but how can I NOT thank them? I still can't fathom that I weigh less than I did in grammar school! I weigh less than my DH, DD, DS #1, my sister, brother, both my parents! I've lost the weight of my younest son! I FIT into my DH pants! I NEVER thought I'd ever be able to do THAT!!!!! How incredible is this journey?!?!?! I bought some size 10 pants the other day....and they FIT! Shopping is FUN again! haha! I still have a ways to go, but I am so thankful that I KNOW I can get to that goal weight and maintain it because I have the tools to be successful now! I just hope my brain catches up with my body as I still see myself as the "fat girl" and the biggest everywhere I go. I know it will catch up someday.....I think!!!!
Amazingly.....I feel probably the best I have in years! I have energy (most days)!! I can move out of my own way! I can keep up with the kids! I can jog (for a few minutes at a time)!!!!!! This is truly amazing! Thank you Heavenly Father!!!!!!!
Thank you Kathy!!
Jul 21, 2008
15 weeks out from surgery and 7 months since time of consult!!!
Jul 20, 2008
I was at a tourney all weekend in Bangor with my DD and didn't weigh over the weekend and was really pleasantly surprised by the loss!!!! I ate out Friday and Saturday evenings (I did ok with my choices at those meals but felt like I overate a bit?!?!) I didn't feel bad or get sick, but I guess I just think I am eating too much at this point. Maybe my body needed a few extra carbs or calories? I don't know...whatever...IT WORKED!!!!!! (BTW...I had been losing and gaining the same 2 pounds for the past almost 2 weeks!!!!!!!!! Seems as though this is my body's cycle though.......lose 5-6 pounds then fluctuate for a coupla weeks!) It gets kinda frustrating, but I think it's pretty normal for my body...if anything is normal!!!!!!!! haha Either way.......I'll TAKE that weight gone!!!!!!
I still don't know where all this weight is gone because my mind still sees that fat girl!!!!! My "muffin" still has a ways to go and that really makes me frustrated when buying new shirts! I KNOW it will get there, but ......oh well! My skin is kinda saggy in a bunch of places too..which I KNEW would happen! My upper arms are the worst and I don't like wearing sleeveless shirts because of it..but, some days, it's just so hot, that I don't care and wear them anyways! If people don't like the way it looks, just don't bother looking, I guess!!!!! I think I've lost most of my weight in my feet actually as all my Airwalk/Croc type shoes are too big! I'm starting to look like I have clown feet!!!!!! I didn't think I'd lose weight in my feet, but I guess so! I can now wear regular shoes instead of wide width which makes shoe shopping SO much more fun....when I have the money!!!!!!!!!!
So, exercise has taken a back seat again! It's been SO busy around here! I've been trying to work more for the extra money, DD has field hockey practice every Mon and Weds evenings, then tourneys on the weekends, boys coming and going, friends over....it'll never end! I NEED to exercise more though (not just while shopping either...haha) Starting TODAY!!!!!!!!!!
While up in Bangor this weekend, DD and I went to Kohls. I had found a bathing suit I REALLY liked there a month or so ago. I couldn't justify paying $40 for a bathing suit that MIGHT just last a few months, so I didn't buy it. Well, that SAME suit was on sale this weekend in Bangor........AND..........it was on clearance!!!!!!!!! I paid $12 for it!!!!!!!!! I was SOOOO excited!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, I just have to find time to get into the pool.......which is FINALLY ready! SHeeshhh!!!!!!
Overall, I am feeling good. No more fainting, no dumping, no thowing up, nothing stuck, pretty good! Hope everyone else is doing well! I'm getting really excited for the summer gathering! Can't wait to meet all my OH friends!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow is 3 months out from surgery!!!!!!
Jul 13, 2008
Time is flying by soooo quickly! It's amazing! My body is changing and I truly can't wait to see the end result! I can deal with the sagging skin (for now)!!!! Just being healthier and being able to move around is amazing to me! I just finished a 5 mile walk/jog in under 1.5 hours. I'm still working towards that 7 miles in under 2 hours and hoping I can get there by the end of the summer....who knows!!!!!!!!
I took measurements today, just for laughs. Unfortunately, I never started taking them until February (when I had already lost 30 pounds), so these totals are based on those Feb measurements and today's stuff:
my upper arms: -3 inches each; thighs: -3 inches each
waist: -8.5 inches hips: -9 inches "muffin": -8 inches
bust: -8 inches I am now fitting into size 12 pants (down from 24/26) and size large/xl tops (down from 24/26). I've even had to buy new undies and bras! Not too shabby, I suppose. My arms and thighs have quite a bit of extra skin, so I'm not expecting too much more loss there. Oh well....... sigh...........
I am still stuck at 99 pounds lost but I know it's my own fault! I haven't been making the best food choices (a few too many carbs! That evil carb monster keeps getting to me!!!!) AND...I've really been slacking on the exercise and walking!!!! I've just got to make myself do it! I feel SOOO much better when I do!!!!!! Things just get so busy and I always find an excuse! I am going to stop the excuses today!!!!!
I did another purging of the drawers and closets today. I'm kinda sad as I really liked some of that clothes! All my "life is good" t-shirts are just too big! Maybe I'll use them as night shirts! I had gotten some fleece tops at Christmas and they are so big that, well, they look kinda silly. So, I have another bag of clothes to try and get rid of.....I'll either take them to a clothing exchange, give them to my sister for some of her clients or bring them to Goodwill or Salvation Army.
So, guess I'll just keep plugging away at this. Whoever said this journey would be easy sure didn't know what they were talking about! Some of the decisions...about food, exercise, everything....are some of the toughest I've had to make! Thanks for reading!
WOW...again!
Jul 06, 2008
On a side note........I went to Church this morning and had no issues! WOOHOO!!!!!! No passing out, no stuck pills, nothing! Things are looking up!!!!!!!!!!
