juicyprincess

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OK, so i went to my monthly doctor appointment (to meet my insurance requirments for wls), my weight didnt move, thats good, better then going up. She wanted me to start taking more fish oil (my cholestrol). I went to the pharmacy (all of this takes place on hospital campus) and the pharmacist has me come into his office and talk with him about what my needs are from it. Have you ever had this happen to you? I never have, it was very nice. He gave me over half and hour of his time discussing lots of stuff. But i knew once we started talking he would talk about my weight and i figured he would not be in favor of weightloss (he was big on all this natural stuff, which is cool). ANyway i was right. He shows me this product that he doesnt carry but is learning more about and really thinks is great for health (any medical condition). Its a 12 week program where you visit with a participating doctor and they customize your diet, relaxation techinuques, life coach you and take an indepth measurement of your body composition (not your percentage of fat...folks this breaks it down as low as you can go, including info on water, lean muscle etc). They guide you with nutritional suppliments as and if needed (shakes, vitamins and bars). The results were actually pretty good (they published a study)...BUT....BUT....BUT, i dont know if i have the time, i dont know if i have the money, i dont know if i can make it work, i thought i had my mind made up. The only thing he directly said about bypass was that you literally suffer from malnutrition (ok true i guess) and that you end up losing water, then muscle then fat so in the end you are still unhealthy, just smaller.
WHAT DO I MAKE OF THIS....I feel so confused...

Well, I was hoping to have RNY in April because insurance qualifications will be met in March...but dont ya know, the surgeon has about 2 month waiting list on average so that puts me out to May or June. I am hopeful I will get in sooner but we will see (I can usually get my way with things like this, plus I work for this health care system).
I know he wants me to lose 10% weight from consult to surgery, i am sure I can do that. But I have actually gained weight over this past year (who woulda thought that, right) and I must lose it before March (10lbs). I decided to stop screwing around with myself. I have done this before and I can do it again. The reason for the WLS is i cant lose enough nor keep it off on my own, I always fall back to those same destructive patterns. So i have been walking (very mild-moderate) after work and trying to walk on my lunch break (when its not raining...hello, WA rains alot). But the bigger thing, I have not been eating sugar (chocolate, ice cream, candy). I even bought myself a pack of 100 cal/serving chocolate things and I told myself I could have 1/day BUT turns out, I havent even done that. This has only been for a few days but once I am on a roll, it tends to last. And since my scrub pants are a little too tight (trust me i have a flat butt and the pants are snug back there, meaning the front belly is taking up all the excess). There is nothing i hate more then cloths that are too tight.
On a plus side, I think my botox might actually be helping. I got my first treatment last month and my migraines are really down so far. I dont wanna jinx it, but i am so hopeful!! The migraines have really contributed to my weight problem (cant eat this or that, must get x hrs of sleep, cant exercise because of them for days at a time, then the cravings for sugar after it breaks)...heres praying!