Thanks Marney! I really needed the laugh today!  hugs, Elaine

Hey girl -- that must have felt so good!!  Are you guys going to keep in touch?  I'm such a hopeless romantic! And, I'm glad to hear you are doing so well after surgery. I am 3+ months post-op (had my surgery with Dr. Joya too, as you know). I finally have my full energy back and feel soooo good! I'm only 4 lbs from onederland!  hugs, Elaine

Hey Laura!  You are in good hands. Dr. Joya is great. They will take good care of you.  I had my surgery with him on April 20th this year. I've lost 63 lbs already!  Congrats and we'll see you on the losers' bench soon!!!   hugs, Elaine

Hi Marney, only during this past month (month 3 for me) have I started to get my energy back. I slept so much for the first two months that people thought I was sinking into a deep depression. I wasn't depressed at all - just completely exhausted and tired easily. I took many naps to get through the busier days. This month I am actually noticing a huge shift in two things: I am able to eat much better than before (less vomiting, foamies, pain from food getting stuck, etc), and also my energy has returned to pre-op levels. I'm sure it evolved over a period of time, but honestly, it seems to have happened overnight. Hang in there!   hugs, Elaine

Finally someone has put words to the pain I have been feeling about men and dating in our society. I am single and have been dating on and off through my various weight fluctuations over many years (I am now 35). After years of 4-8 month long monogamous relationships ending... I realized that the men who were with me were ONLY with me for particular things: (including but not limited to: regular sex (and yes, I am very good at it), regular movie companion, someone to call when no one else was available, someone safe to introduce to mom/dad... etc. etc. etc. Like Melissa said, it is the SAD TRUTH about most single men these days. Even the heavy men want slim/slender women. It is truly pathetic. I have been on many mainstream online dating services, and I am very picky --- I want a man with an education (oh my God is that too much to ask?), a stable job, similar values, similar political orientation...  Yet, most men have profiles with a photo that looks like a freakin' mug shot and they don't write very much about themselves (read: they have little to offer but have very high physical standards in a date).  What a joke. An absolutely sad, horrible, painfully laughable joke. As a professor and researcher of cultural anthropology, I have said often that I was born into the wrong culture. Perhaps Hawaii or New Zealand... or Samoa.  Larger women, taller and heavier, are not seen as less beautiful (and sometimes they are seen as more beautiful) than thin, short women.  I completely understand what Marney is saying about the self-esteem scapegate used and universally applied to all of us MO people. (The following does not apply to those of you with low self-esteems). Like Marney, I KNOW that I am worthy of a good and loving partner.... I have a lot of wonderful qualities and I am a good catch.  (ALSO -- for some reason, both men and women tend to paint those of us heavy, but high self-esteem women as "aggressive" or overly "assertive" or masculine ---- what a bunch of gender-laden bullsh*t).  When I lost a lot of weight before (starvation diet and exercise addict), I dropped to a size 8/10 and got hit on left and right. Indeed, my personality is very outgoing and probably became MORE SO when I was size 8/10. More recently, when I was around 238 lbs (height 5'9"), I did meet a guy that I really like and we started dating... only for it to evolve into a "friends with benefits" situation. Now that I know the cold hard truth about the way most men feel about my heavy (but shrinking) body... I don't want to deal with them at all. I'm beginning to think that perhaps it is best to keep my "Steve", because at least it is on terms that I can understand. He was really attracted to me when I was much heavier, but we just didn't feel a LOVE connection. At least I know that his passion is honest... its just loveless.  I can deal with that much better than hoping and praying that I'm lucky enough to meet the .0001 percent of men who can see beyond the surface of weight to the SOUL of me. The saddest part?   The more weight I lose, the less likely I am to believe a man will fall in love with me for qualities other than sex and my physical attractiveness. I am tired of the shallow foundation upon which men decide to confess/profess  LOVE.... and as a single woman, it is a hard truth to swallow. Elaine

That is an awesome story!!! I love moments like that! hugs, Elaine

Wow Carrie! You look amazing! Congratulations girl!  What a difference from six months ago. hugs, Elaine

Hi Kim,  I'm worried that you might be setting yourself up for problems if you stop the meds cold turkey. I would recommend you call your doctor (PCP) and discuss it today if possible. You can explain how you have been feeling lately, and tell him/her that you want to stop the meds, and ask about staging off --- taking less and less over time. Your doctor may have some start-up samples to help ween you off them. For example, when I started Effexor XR, I started on 35mg for a week, then 75mg for two weeks, then on to my regular dose of 150mg that I still take today.  In order for me to stop taking them, it would be optimal for me to stage off them in the reverse over a period of time.  Also, it would be important for your doctor and your family to be aware of your situation, because going on or off anti-depressants, in general, does present some increased risk for mood changes, etc.  (you can read the package insert of your Lexapro to read about the specific findings from the clinical trials on Lexapro). Something else to think about.... Even though you may feel fine right now, your body is still adjusting hormonally to the surgery. You may want to give it another four months or so just to help you through. In fact, you may be feeling fine now BECAUSE of the Lexapro....and stopping it (especially suddenly) may present some negative symptoms (increased depression or other mood changes, headache, etc.) Please talk to your doctor right away!  hugs, Elaine

Speaking as a former diet coke ADDICT.... I actually went through caffeine withdrawal after my surgery and had a terrible headache. I drank too much diet coke for too long.  After surgery... maybe around 5 weeks post-op, I sipped a diet coke out of curiosity --- it tasted so awful that I spit it out and never opened another one. You'll be surprised if you try it. You might actually think it is NASTY!  I crave really cold water now, and aside from crystal light, that's all I drink now.  My body is really happy with the caffeine and without the aspartame!  I'm also saving a lot of money...as diet coke is not cheap anymore.  Good luck with it!   Hugs, Elaine

Wow PK -- what a wonderful month for you!   Maybe just "mixing it up" worked some magic. Whatever the reason... I'm really happy to hear that you lost 18 lbs this month! What an inspiration for me just 2 months out (this Wednesday) and also not exercising much. I still go through cycles of guilt about the exercise, but then again, I never give myself enough credit for the kind of physical person I am. Like this week, I moved my office and helped other people move, and I carried dozens of 50lb boxes of books and supplies and moved office furniture!  That must have been good exercise because I sweat like a pig, drank extra fluids, and slept like a baby! Anyway, enough of my babbling... I'm glad to know that post-opers have the potential to lose that much in their 9 month!!! hugs, Elaine 

Hi Liliana - I'm 2 months post-op and I am soooo HAPPY I had RNY. After considering all the options, pros and cons of all surgery types, and reading hundreds of profiles... I knew this was the right surgery for me. I had some rough spots, and I still do from time to time, but I have never regretted having this surgery. I feel so much better now and it gets a little better every day. Hugs, Elaine

hi Beth, I am having EXACTLY the same experience as you with food and eating. I posted about it a few weeks ago and my situation is still the same. As you point out, food is so connected to socializing that it makes it really uncomfortable to meet friends or co-workers for lunch or dinner. I actually stopped dating right now because of that - not because of my weight. I just can't eat in public, unless it is soup or yogurt. And like you, I have to FORCE myself to eat my protein. Eating right now (protein) ranges from uncomfortable to really painful... and definitely NOT neutral.  I have to make a conscious effort to eat enough each day because I would rather not eat at all (with the nausea,  vomiting and foamies and pain in my chest/stomach).  Other wls folks tell me "it will get better" etc etc... but I am still waiting for the day and not expecting it anytime soon. Most of them are 10 months +  out from their surgery dates. I guess this is part of the price we pay for losing weight with the tool of gastric bypass. I'm really sorry you are having this same experience. Elaine