franRN76

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Got a call at work yesterday from the hospital where I am having my surgery.  I am the first case, which is kinda what I wanted.  But, oh my, I have to be there by 5:30am.  sheesh.  There goes any hope for me to sleep any.  Normally I do not go to slee til 2-3am.  Kinda pointless when I will be getting up at 4am to get ready and leave by 4:30am.  Needless to say, after I got off the phone with the hospital, the butterflies started.  Up til now I have been ok.  Not too nervous.  Now that it is closing in, I am beginning to become a bundle of nerves.  Not that I am gonna back out of this or anything, or even want to.    This is the RIGHT decision for me and my future. 

Now I am worried about packing my stuff to take with me.  Since I am sure that TEC is gonna have to lug it around hile I am in surgery,  I better make it light.  So far I am taking:
x2-3 pairs of undies, lounge pants, clothes I wear to the hospital (which I will also wear home), ipod touch and the accessories, my cellphone, a paperback book, toothbrush, vaseline for my lips, face cleansing cloths, feminie wipes and pads....  Am I forgetting anything?  as thinking about my laptop, but dont want him to have to worry about that the day of surgery.  

Less tempting foods at work tonight. Trying to stay ahead of the game when it comes to the protein.  Hopefully that will help keep me away from the leftover holiday JUNK. 

I feel ok today.  Just a bit tired. Still having problems sleeping.  Partly it is because I am waking up to go Pee, which I have rarely done before.  I guess I am atleast well hydrated.

12/26
12oz Hot tea
4oz FF milk w/x2 scoops PP (52g)
20oz Veg Broth
24oz water w/Proti
8oz Broth
8oz FF milk /wx1 scoop PP (26g)
8oz Hot tea
24 oz water w/Proti (15g) * still sipping on this*

Water: 72+24 (96)
Protein 97+15 (112)

This liquid diet is harder than I thought it would be.  Maybe it is so tough due to it being the holiday season.  The last 2 days of work have been surrounded with cookies, cakes, and junk.  I havent been too bad at all.  I ate nothing yesterday.  Today I did have x2 tbsp of hummus and x2 round pretzels.  I could not help myself.  It was either that or I was given in to the sugar cookie with icing, which looked delectable.

The headache is nearly gone.  I have since been drinking 1 cup of regular tea instead of all decaf.  I havent been irritable, but I have noticed that things do erk me a little more easier.  I am still tired and sleeping alot.  Which I guess can be a good thing for many reasons. 

I am down from 355 to 347.6 as of Friday.  I have not weighed since.  Will weigh when I come back to work tonight as it will be an entire week. 

12 oz hot tea
12 oz veg Broth
12 oz Hot Tea
4oz FF milk w/x1 scoop protein powder (26g)
4oz FF milk w/x1 scoop protein powder (26g)
8oz Hot Tea
8oz Hot Tea
16oz Veg Broth
24 oz water
8oz FF milk w/x2 scoops (52g)

Water: 92 oz
Protein: 104g

Felt tired today and irritable.  Even lost it once with this old couple... Long story.  not gonna get into it.  The good news is that I was yelling at them in my car with the music on and all the windows up.  So unless they had SUPER hearing, I doubt they heard me.  Fiance gave me flack about it.  I guess I gave him attitude when I told him to give up his sodas for 3 days and to go on the liquid diet with me and see how he felt.  Geeez..  Sure glad that the irritability didn't last too long and it was just that one time.  Guess I better go love on him some, just in case I hurt his feelings.

Headache is better today.  Almost gone all together.  Was nauseated all day though.  I called my CNP and she seemed to think that I might be dehydrated.  So my goal was to increase my fluids today and then see how I felt.  The nausea got better through my shift at work, with the exception of when I smelled a pt's takeout food and when I smelled a co-workers fries.  Thought that I was gonna barf right then and there. 

I fought temptations at work as well.  Sorta thinking GOD for the nausea.  It kept me from grabbing at the cookies and candies that were sitting staring me in the face most of the shift while I charted.  I must confess that I did eat some rotisserie turkey breast today.  Probably about 6 oz in all.  It seemed to settle my stomach a little and the jello and drinks didn't make me as sick. 

Jumped on the scale at work.  I am now under 350 pounds.  WooHoo.  That is motivation enough to keep going on this pre-op diet.    So far I am down almost about 6 pounds since I saw the MD last week.

8oz hot tea decaf
1 scoop body fortress (26g)w 4oz FF milk
8oz hot tea decaf
24oz beef both
24oz water w/ proti (15g)
6oz diet 7-up
10oz crystal light
2 scoop body fortress (52g) w/ 4oz FF MILK
24oz hot tea

Clear liquids: 104 oz
Protein: 103+

Not necessarily a good thing when you haven't eaten anything in 2 days.  Every freaking thing looks good and m stomach started growling.  But I so needed some SF jello to take to work and some SF hard candy.  I also got me some decaf tea bags.  HOT tea with just a splash of baileys caramel creamer.. YUM.. only 5g of sugar and 1.5 g of fat.  Not necessarily on my clear liquid diet, but it took my head hunger and my sweet tooth away.  I feel better now.  Headache is faint, but still there. At the moment I don't feel deprived one bit. 

Of course I am taking about the liuid diet.  I can do this!  I wish that I would have given up my sodas a long time before this.  I am not sure if the headache  is from the carb withdrawl or the caffeine withdrawl.  Either way it hurts bad.  I am so tired too.  But that could be from the crazy schedule that I have had at work the last few days.

I will keep saying to myself that this will get better in time and before I know it, it will be Jan 3rd,  and my new LIFE will begin!

Pre-op diet started at MN last night, while I was at work.  Good thing that I was busy at work, because I was able to fight through the snack attack. I didnt necessarily pack appropriate lasnight.  Tonight will be a different story.  I did eat 2 starbursts candies at work lasnight, but I do not feel too bad considering all the crap that I said no to when my body/mind was screaming eat it.  I did come home this morning starving though.  I am sure that it was just "head hunger".  My game plan to deal with that was to just go to bed.  Looking back, I probably should have drank a protein shake.  Lesson learned.  Will drink one when I get home in the morning b4 I go to bed.  My kitchen though leaves alot to be desired.  I am gonna get TEC to clean it out and/or put things out of sight.  Had a family weekend and there is alot of sweets left over. 

So far I have done ok on the liquid diet.  My mind is playing me though....

0100 Proti fruit punch (24oz water and 15g protein)
0300 20 oz beef broth
0500 24 oz water
3p: 24oz beef broth
4p: x2 SF Popsicles
5p: 16 oz White grape juice/water cocktail (1/2 and 1/2)
6p: Body fortress shake w/ 8oz FF milk ( 52g protein + protein from milk)

Plan to have
x1 Proti protein drink in 24 oz water (15g)
x1 body fortress shake in 8oz FF milk (52g+)
SF jello
SF Popsicles x2
Beef broth
24oz plain water

ENDO is completed.  It was a breeze.  I should not have even fretted about it.  They gave me some good stuff to nock me out.  Was such good sleep, I didnt want to wake up.  The worse part of it was the stuff I had to suck on to numb my throat.  YUCK!  Had me gagging.   I have gastritis and a hiatal herna.   The MD ordered me nexium, which my insurance i giving me a hard time filling.  Will call the urgeon tomorrow and see what I can do.  As far as the hernia, he said that it should  not affect the urgery and he will repair it at the same time if he needs to  

Will be on the phone tomorrow with my benefits officer at work, the insurance, and possibly the MD to change prescription. 

Meet with the anesthesiologist and the surgeon on the 10th.  I cannot wait.  Then I am just a few weeks away.

Just got my protein supplements in the mail today as well.  I tried the peach/mango.  Tried it in tea.  It wasnt too bad.  Next time I will try it in just water.  I also got a chocolate pudding mix and a chicken soup mixture.  I will try those tomorrow.  Each one of them has 15 grams of protein.  Maybe a little more.  It is a different way for me to get protein besides the protein shakes.  The shake mix I have has 52grams of protein per x2 scoops.  I normally mix them in 4-6 oz of skim milk.    I am hoping to be able to only eat one meal tomorrow and supplement with protein shakes and such.  We shall see.

Endoscopy is scheduled for "sometime" wend.  I hat not knowing until the night before.  Gonna try to call them in the morning to see if I can get a time.  I need to know so I can decide to work the overnight shift or not.  I got my pre-op appt with the anesthesiologist and then my surgeon on the 10th.  Then in just a few days after that, I will begin the pre-op DIET. 

I have ordered some protein supplements.  I am hoping to try to do a form of the pre-op diet starting wend of this week.  I am gonna try to do protein supplements, water, and then eat one light carb reduced meal.  If I can get a jump on this, maybe it will not be as tough the 2 weeks b4 surgery. 

I am not beginning to get nervous, but I am finding that I am beginning to over-think my decision more.  I always come back to this though " I have made up my mind and I am not backing out".  I need to do this, this is the reason why I considered it to begin with.  I did not make this decision lightly or quickly.  So with that being said, I continue to venture one step closer to the "loser's bench". 

In all my excitement over deciding to have the RNY, I think I talked about it a bit too much.  I am thinking that maybe I should have kept it quiet.  I have many people who are supportive: friends, family, and co-workers.  However I am getting lots of other people, who have overheard me talking about it, offer their 2 cents worth.  Of course everyone knows someone who has had it done and did not have great success, whether it be complications or just plain GAIN back of the weight.  Knowing this one person makes them experts and of course they have to warn me against having it.  I sit there and listen, well half listen anyways.  I am trying to tune it out.  After all they mean well, I think.  I try to take all this with a grain of salt.  But I would be un-human if I did would say that it did not get my brain thinking. 

As the time grows nearer, I am finding myself beginning to ask myself many questions.  The one that I keep coming back to, my hang up of sorts, is did I really try everything else humanly possible to get this weight off and is surgery my only option right now.  Yep, thats a big one.  Once I think it, it gets the gears a moving.  Most of the time it seems that I am in bed and trying to go to sleep when this pops in my head.  I can kiss sleep, atleast anytime soon, goodbye.