psren13

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I am so close to my second major goal.  The first was Onderland which I have achieved.  The second is hitting 172 which is a weight that I was for years before I had female surgery in 1984 which blossomed me up over 50lbs.  I hit 173.6 this morning.  I just had to post this.  So stoked right now knowing I CAN AND WILL DO THIS.  WHOOPEEEE.. YAY.. and all the above 

I have been in California since July 22nd.  It has been soooo hard to get into a routine since I have been here.  I was so looking forward to getting back into the water aerobics like I was last year but it is at 9 in the morning.  The only late offered is on Monday and Wednesday at 6.  Due to Bryson (11 month old grandson) only being fond of one of the sitters in the daycare, that is the only time we can go in the evenings (M-F about 5pm).  I could go in the mornings but gas prices are on the high side here so have to be conservative as far as the gas goes.  At least I am getting in other exercise such as leg press, rowing machine, and recumbent bike on those other days.  Eating has not been on schedule as I had before in NC.  I'm trying; I am sure it will get better this coming week.  I use the Atkins frozen dinners for a bit of my meals and have only found them at one store here so far.  Got some yesterday so YAY!!!!!  It is slow for sure but my weight is down to 176.8 from a high of 269--249 this time last year.  It is much easier to move around for sure.  I have become "carb" paranoid.. lol... Want some oatmeal and popcorn (not together) but not venturing there although I know the oatmeal would be a good alternative for breakfast.  Head hunger is sooo present at times, but then again, so is the restriction.  It is easier to feel it and stop than it has been.  Guess I am becoming more aware of things.  

Well I finally made it to California this past Thursday, July 23rd.  The flight was good with only about 20 minute to get from one flight to another in Charlotte.  The weather out here so far is great, not the humidity I have back home in NC.  Haven't made it to the gym yet.  Will get signed up this coming Saturday at the latest.  Looking forward to it for sure, loved it last year.  Going to be different this year with 87 pounds total loss.  Need to get a bathing suit that fits.  I had bought one a couple sizes smaller than what I thought I would wear (at my daughters suggestion).  Arghhh this "apron" is really a problem.  She has a suit that she bought for herself when she was pregnant last year and never wore it, Brought it downstairs so I could try it on.  Mind you, she was a personal trainer so very physically fit and 5'7" and normally about 140.  Well, after tugging and shoving in, she got me into her bathing suit.  lol.. Me inheriting a handmedown from my physically great youngest daughter.. what a hoot..  lol   Eating has been on the low side, hard to get back on a schedule with the time difference, etc..  Keeping under on the calories, carbs, and still up on the proteins.  So still doing good.  Have actually lost 3 lbs since I left NC..(hope it isn't just her scale).  Feeling good except for my lower back still.  

Well, the scale finally moved a little lately.  I am down 83.4 lbs now.  I recall when I saw both of my tickers around 50 and thought it will be great to get the "pounds lost" much higher than need to lose.  Well, I'm getting there.  It is slow for sure now but it IS going in the right direction.  Perhaps my skin will catch up a little with the loss?  lol..  I looked over my eating pattern and figured that even though nuts and sunflower seed kernels are good for you, they made me retain water (?) or just stalled my weight.  So, I stopped all nuts for now.,  Hopefully that will do the trick.  

The other day I went to Walmart.  I usually use one of the battery powered carts due to lower back problems and I know I am going to be in there awhile.  Well, when I was getting the cart I wanted, I had to "squeezw between two of them to get to the seat.  I looked back and grinned big time to myself "I just got through that small space.. WOW"  You never know what is going through someones mind when you see them talking to themself or smiling.  You never know what "competition" they are holding for themself to accomplish and then realize it has happened or is happening.  Feel good for them.  They evidently do.

It is time to weed out some clothes.  My tank tops are literally sliding off my shoulders now.  My shorts that I am still wearing, well, I can't put my phone in my pocket because it makes my shorts slide down off me.  My bras are being passed down to my oldest daughter (she can wear them for sure).  Found some older stuff that I can still manage to wear decently until I get to California later this week.  I am sure that my youngest will be very tickled to take me shopping.  I hope she knows where the thrift stores are because I am not going to spend much on clothes at this point.   I am definitely very aware of what goes into my body.  I drank about half of a gatorade the other day and then looked at the carb value.  Nope, gave the rest to my granddaughter.  Not eating any fruit yet,  too many carbs.  Still having to be very mindful of the amount of fluids I am taking in...sometimes good sometimes behind.  All lab values have been great.  Blood sugar highest has been 99 (no meds since just before surgery) BP around 121/75 to 134/81 (again no meds since before surgery), no cholesterol meds.  Yay.  Saving money on both food and prescriptions.  Eating healthier foods since I don't have to buy so much just for me.  When I get back from Cali, my surgeon is going to finally discuss a date to do my umbilical hernia repair.  This is one of the main issues keeping me from doing any core work.  Yay again.  Finally getting my body rebuilt at  65 years of age.  Bionic man, move over.  

I'm so loving my sleeve, even with the stalls and constipation.  That can all be overcome. All in all, feeling good.  

Finally broke the 190.2 that I have been at for 3 weeks.  Took a couple of Dulcolx last night.  lol.  That stuff works good.  Anyway, here's hoping that I stay below that 190 mark and this is the new trend--going down again.  It is frustrating but as long as one continues to stay the path and plan, it will eventually move.  So, if you're in a stall for whatever reason, don't give up because this isn't the finish line.

It is soo frustrating when you are doing everything right and then get constipated.  And come to a screeching halt, not slow down, but wham.  I stayed 190.2/189.8/190.2/190.2/191.2/190.2 for 3 weeks.  the 189 was just for one day so I am hoping that it is finally moving in the downward direction.  I know that this is not the end, journey still in its infancy so to speak.  I do need to get moving more.  The injections from pain management really didn't help any.  Now I am going to Physical Therapy until I go to Cali on the 23rd of this month.  I will be going to the gym at least 5 days a week for their water aerobics.  Loved it last year so still going for it.  

Saw my surgeon yesterday for the "issue" so he has me scheduled for a colonoscopy next Tuesday.. YaY.. right!! He is really cute and going to be doing WHAT to my behind... EEEK.. lol.  I'm a grown woman and can take it., especially the drugs so I won't remember a thing.., I really do like my doctor though.  He has a great bedside manner and very complimentary and encouraging like a good surgeon should be.  

I posted on the forum yesterday that my weight seems "stuck" about 190 for what seems forever,.  After checking my graphs and weights in MFP and here, it has only been 10 days as of today.  I know that it is only stuck and not a stall.  I do weigh and measure all that goes into my mouth.  I do on occasion have a few tiny twist pretzels or sunflower seed kernels or cocktail peanuts.  Those are my "have to have" snacks when I do indulge.  It's not every day.  When I do, I count my pretzels and measure the nuts.  Everything is accounted for.  So, I know that I am still on plan and on track.  I know that eventually the scale will move again just keep on keepin on as I say.  I know the rules and have really done pretty good so far.  I am going to go to California July 23rd to stay with my youngest daughter for a few months so I may be having some impatience to get the weight down further to "surprise" her and the friends I have over there.  Be patient Pam.  Calm down.  A great thing over there is LA Fitness gym which she is a member of and I was for 3 months last year when over there.  I am so looking forward to that.  I have a gym here but it is so different.  The water aerobics over there are so much more intense and fulfilling.  Cant wait.  

I have had a couple of stressful days lately.  My oldest daughter that lives with me is so ALPHA.  It just doesn't work out with two females in the same household sometimes.  And granddaughter who is 11 is so ADHD.  So, I broke down and had 4 chocolate chip cookies one day.  OMG... I don't eat sweets, not my trigger.  Other than that, I do pretty good.  Got my Lexapro started back up yesterday so that should help.  

OK enough for now.. Back to the day ahead of me.  

GOALS....Hmmm.. My first goal was to be able to start my weight with "1" instead of "2" which I have accomplished.  My end goal weight is somewhere between 150-160 but we shall see.  In between are a few smaller personal goals with meaning.  When my first born was about 6 week old, I weighed 152 (18 years of age).  Got up to about 172 until around 1984 when I had surgery that ballooned me up 50 lbs pretty quickly.  Then slowly crept up to high weight of 277 which freaked me out and got me down to 265-269 for years.  So those are my targets to get back down to.  I hit 189.8 this morning.  Taking it 10 lbs at a time and minute goals.  So, next is 179 then 172.  Yay.  I told my youngest daughter that when I hit 150 I wanted to go zip-lining, not just the teeny drop but something really significant.  Oh and she has to go with me.  LOL... Another goal is a real pair of jeans, not stretchy pants, not elastic waist, but the real mccoy.  She said she wanted to buy me those first jeans.  I am feeling so much healthier all the time, even with a bad back which is a big hinder to exercise and walking.  Working on that through pain management which hasn't helped yet.  Youngest asked me the other day a really good question which I don't have an answer for yet.  She said, " What would you attempt if you knerw you would not fail?" My answer at the time was to find cure for such debilitating disease such as alheizemers and cancer, etc.  She went on to add, that it was a question about my personal endeavors and goals, stuff you would  like to do but never did (and not a bucket list).   She asked me why was I bothering to try to get healthy if all I do is sit at home on the computer (don't think she knows the extent of my back troubles).  But she is right.  Since I had my stroke in 2011 and out of the work force, I have "hermitized" myself.  This is existing, not living.  So now, I have to ponder, "WHY? and WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT PAM???

I just posted this as a response to someone's post and thought that I would also add it here to look back on and as a kick in the butt to get moving on my own journal.

"I am just over 12 weeks out from VSG.  I have no regrets other than... I wish I had started a hand-written journal of every day from day one, what my feelings were, both good and bad, what I was able to eat and how much or too much and how I felt when I did, how each little "insignificant" NSV (none are insignificant to a WLS patient, each a stepping stone in emotions)... etc... Little things happen each day that as the days pass you will not remember but would be great to look back on.   Keep to the plan.. Don't rush things for each step has a purpose.  This new journey is just beginning.  It will be for life so no rush..  Good luck..Pam"

This is one of those things that I need to print out and hang on my wall as a reminder of where I have come from and where I am heading.. 

Well, only lost about 0.6lbs so far this week.  I know it's because I haven't pooped much at all since Tuesday.  This sux.  I have been doing the Miralax and even some prunes and water is very good now.  Just my body rebelling.  Belly feels bloated.  Dam is gonna break soon though.  Will weigh the next day.  I know, TMI but ahh this is life.. Today is my youngest daughters' birthday.  She is out in California with her 10month old son,  Husband is deployed until near Christmas.  If all goes as planned, I will be going out there the end of next month for several months.  So looking forward to it..  Mood is good and energy level is good.  Got a little accomplished yesterday.  Got my bedroom carpet shampooed (I live in a mobile home so only so much carpet exposed in the bedroom but it sure can get to needing shampooing.  LOL.. Nice thunderstorm came through yesterday evening.  Temperature and weather really good today.  I might try to get out and walk a little bit if back will allow me to.  If not, head to the pool for some water walking.  Welcome to another day in my world.. 

I need to record all of this while I am thinking about and before CRS kicks in.. High wt of 277 for short while, cut back on a little and maintained 265-269 for several years.  Started watching the carbs closer and went to the gym (water aerobics) while in California for three months last year and got down to 247-249 which was my pre-op dieting wt.  Surgery weight about 237.  Surgery 3-11-15.  Today is 6-6-15 and weight down to about 194.  It is going slow but it is going in the right direction.  I deal with constipation very often partly due to the foods now, but also the stroke I had in 2011 is a big contributor for difficulty with the elimentary part of the body.  I was paralyzed on my right side and in Acute Rehab/hospital for 2 1/2 months and determined to walk out of there even if with a walker--which I did by the grace of the Higher Power and a terrific Rehab Therapy group pushing me forward each day.  I have come a long way from then and thankful for every day.  

This journey that I am on now is not the easiest but I am so thankful for my sleeve.  It is giving me the opportunity to take my life back under control and be able to do things that I never would of been ablle to do.  I am so looking forward to my trip to Cali again this summer and seeing if I have to have the belt extender on the airplane..lol.. There are numerous NSV that have occured so far and each one no matter how small is a victory and a "high".  Oh the loose skin, especially the bat wings.. My neice told me the other day that my neck was getting longer.  I had the "extra" neck (?) that when I bent my head down to my chest, it kinda looked like a box turtle pulling its head into its shell so they always wanted me to do the "turtleneck".. Now it is just a "turkey neck"  (She is 14 and not a little kid but still enjoys the turtle in me.. Crossing my legs, able to move the steering wheel down all the way and still have room between my belly and wheel, bending over to tie shoes and not getting winded, putting on socks, walking to my car and not getting winded.  There are more for sure.  

I was married for almost 47 years but lost my husband last year so it has been a bit of a stressor.  One of the NSVs that has happened recently is the extra attention and looks from the male gender.  Yes, I know I should feel flattered but it is something that I don't know how to deal with, almost embarrassing because I never got that while married, never even noticed if it did happen.  The attention is something I have to learn to deal with I guess.  I am NOT looking for another mate or even a companion.  I have my three grown kids and the grandkids to keep me adequate company.,  

Well enough ranting for this post.  I weigh in tomorrow so will be keeping fingers crossed for a good one.  Even a pound if good.